"Your Imperial Majesty," began a short and very plump noble, "I don't see why I have to continue to be in charge of the farmers. All they do is come to me and complain about how they don't have enough seed or their ox is sick. I'm tired of it!"

"Your quite right Trujik noh Farik. You will be relieved of your post. Court is dismissed," said the Emperor slyly, signaling Kel to follow him out of the room.

Once they reached the Emperor's chamber he nodded for her to take a seat.

"As I told Trujik, he will be relieved of his post and I wish for you to relieve him of it."

"Yes, your Imperial Majesty, I will do as you command."


Kel waited for Trujik in his rooms. Waited for him to return home. He was at a party and he enjoyed the wine a little to much, but Kel wasn't one to complain it would just make her job all the easier. She just hoped he didn't bring company home.

"Did I ever tell you about the time an ox rode me?" asked a very drunk Trujik as he fumbled with his key.

"No you didn't," giggled an equally drunk female.

Great, thought Kel, just what I need company. This is going to be a long night.

Trujik was finally able to open his door and he and his lady friend stumbled inside, not bothering with a light.

"You are as lovely as a peach, Hanging out of reach," he started to dictate to his female friend.

Kel rolled her eyes, Yuk, sappy, love poems - awful, sappy, love poems.

Then started the kissing.

Why me? thought Kel, Why do I have to deal with this immature, god-forsaken pig?

Finally, the only sound to be heard was Trujik snoring. Kel scanned the room. His lady friend lay asleep next to him.

Good, they're asleep - at last.

Kel silently walked over to the bed. She pulled out a knife and slit the man's throat. The snoring ceased. Kel quickly disappeared through the window and into the night.


"So how'd it go?" asked Yuki the next morning as she and Kel spared with their glaives.

"It was terrible!" Kel said with disgust.

"So being a squire is too much for you?"

"Oh, no! Killing him was easy. It was the waiting that was awful! He returned to his rooms with Marushi," Kel quickly explained.

"Marushi! I thought he had better taste than that!" Yuki exclaimed in surprise. Marushi was Kirk's sister - his very ugly sister. She would do anything for attention.

"So did I, but that's not the worst of it."

"It isn't?" Yuki cringed.

"Nope. Then he started to recite awful, sappy, love poems," Kel responded.

"He did not!"

"I'm afraid so."

"Tell me one."

"Don't say I didn't warn you. Here it goes: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm going to bed, And I think you should to."

"But it doesn't even make sense!" Yuki exclaimed.

"None of them did, and that was one of the better ones."

Yuki groaned. Kel quickly used this distraction to relieve Yuki of her glaive and flip the point of her glaive at Yuki's throat.

Yuki sighed, "I yield."