This summer, coming to a lame website near you. Comes Raiden's Answering Machine Part 12! With more sequels than the SAW movies you are bound to like this one if you're still around!

Raiden's Answering Machine Part 12: How The Hell Are These Still Here? Coming soon!

And that soon is RIGHT NOW. Let's go!

"The number you are trying to reach refuses to answer. Please leave a message."

*Beep*

"Hey man, it's Johnny Cage. Could you hook me up with that Sonya babe? I've seen a nice pair of tits in my time but WOW. She is definitely my eye of the night!"

*beep*

"Hey, it's Sonya. Did you give Cage my number? He keeps sending me pictures of his penis and says 'To my best lay, Sonya.'"

*beep*

"Hey, it's Liu Kang. Good job on getting me killed, asshole. If the message you sent to yourself was to let Shao Kahn win then why didn't you just simply say 'Let Shao Kahn win.'?! Then we could have ended everything a lot damn sooner! You're a horrible protector!"

*beep*

"It's Kitana. Listen, we gotta talk about Johnny Cage. He keeps sending me perverted pictures through email. One was of him flexing with one of his Oscars in the nude. I am so close to just cutting his head off. Please call me."

*beep*

"Stryker here. Could you tell the others in the group to lay off of me a little? They keep calling me a sissy because I don't have powers like them, and I swear that Sub-Zero is watching my every move."

*beep*

"Sub-Zero here. I have been trying to tell Stryker that his fly is open but for some reason he keeps trying to avoid me. Could you tell him? Thanks."

*beep*

"Raiden? This is Big Bombarder. Look, I am sorry I betrayed you but I was in over my head back then. I was trying to protect my family. Can we talk this out, please?"

*beep*

"Goddamn, how many Raidens are there? First I called this one other dude and ended up getting a call from some guy named Solid Snake to leave him alone. Then, I call you and you're some sort of thunder god. Wait, didn't that one comic book place make a movie about you?"

*beep*

"It's Jade. I am getting sick of Johnny Cage. He keeps sky-writing perverted messages over my home. Why, the last one said 'I call my dick Driving since bitches suck at it.' I feel dirty and used. Please come and straighten him out."

*beep*

*heavy breathing* "Tonight... you."

*beep*

"This is your dentist, I am appalled at your form of gratitude. I give you all of my hospitality and you don't even bother to pay me? You pissed on my hospitality. You cannot piss on hospitality, I won't allow it!"

*beep*

"Don't you think I have to deal with enough, with my family dilemmas? Shao Kahn and Kitana are one annoying ass group to have to deal with. It's Sindel, by the way. I am calling though to let you know that Johnny Cage keeps invading my dreams. I can't sleep anymore without him showing up and flirting with me. He even mentioned something about 'making it look easy.' and threatened to 'cage' me until I was sore. Please help."

"This is Cage, I am shocked at your accusations. I would never do any of those mentioned actions... at least not with your knowledge. I am coming to kick your ass, that will be the part where you fall down... for good!"

*beep*

"Hello. This is Nightwolf. I am starting to think it was a bad idea to send that Freddy guy back into the Dreamworld he came from. Wasn't that what made him stronger in the first place? Damn, I need to lay off that peace pipe."

*beep*

"This is Sub-Zero. What happened to Scorpion? He hasn't tried to kill me in about a week. Not saying I am worried but I think he may be up to something."

*beep*

"There are no more messages."