It didn't take all that long for Satsuki to curse her impossibly dull teeth as she'd utterly and completely failed to chew through Sakura's bonds fast enough. It did not take a genius to know that both she and the pinkette were in deep shit, and she didn't even want to think about what would happen. A whole crowd's worth of stomps were the herald that told her that the kitchen workers turned pirates had arrived.

When they were thrown carelessly into the table at the center of the room where various foods had been prepared before, the two kunoichi found that they weren't alone. A team composed of two dark skinned genin, one female and the other male, the female having spiky red hair and the male having blond hair so pale it might as well be white. Roughly, Satsuki could guess that they were the same age as her, perhaps slightly older, but that could be their obvious musculature adding on to their size.

Both were gagged, unlike her, but then again Satsuki hardly had any comment to make and they probably hadn't deemed it necessary to gag either her or Sakura.

They were obviously from Kumo, given the headbands.

A little wiggling let Satsuki move enough that she could see yet another female, being slightly taller and slimmer than the other two from Kumo. She was also quite clearly more developed than any of the other four kunoichi in the room. She had no gag on, unlike her teammates, though her short blond hair showed signs of having come close to a blade recently.

All three of them looked positively murderous. Then again, if Satsuki could see herself in a mirror she'd be able to tell she was just as angry herself. This sort of shit wasn't in her plans and she didn't particularly like the lecherous looks that the men who surrounded the table gave them.

"D'aww, look, the genin think they be intimidatin'." A rather large and brawny man spoke, as he fumbled with the belt that held his pants up. Horrified, Satsuki realized that all of them were working on removing the lower half of their clothing, the one that would impede the proceedings. She was just waiting, at this point, for one of them to try and shove their dicks in her mouth.

She'd chomp it right off.

It'd probably get her killed, but she'd rather die with her dreams unfulfilled rather than let this filth have their way with her. That, and it'd probably give the other genin a distraction so they could try to come up with a way to escape, but she was feeling mostly enraged that they'd even dare pull their pants off. "You better kill me… because if I get free, and I will, I will hunt every last one of you down, and I will subject you to pain the likes of which has never been seen."

She saw most of them shiver and back away. She saw their movements clearly and perfectly, she saw the fear that crossed their faces before they remembered she was bound and helpless. She felt her eyes burn and her chakra sluggishly responding to her body's demands. "Shaddup, ya bitch!" a man whose only hair was his beard and the bushy forest of his pubes spoke. "Y'all ninja whores think yer almighty, we'll be seein' how tuff y'are when ya've got me dick'n yer ass." The drawl was nearly unintelligible, and Satsuki would've preferred not to understand his words.

"Yeah, all that exercise these bitches do must've made them nice and tight. Too bad they probably don't have anything to tear down there, eh? All that stretching they oughta do breaks the stuff without sex, I hear." A man who had already freed something that looked way too huge, fitting his huge frame, spoke.

"Now ya mooks, the cap'n wants these little shits properly broken so we can sell them like slaves. Y'all know the drill, we can have all the fun we want but no disfiguration and nothing that leaves a permanent mark!"

The men all convened around the table, and Satsuki felt her wrath and anger reach a boiling point when a scream of terror and panic ripped its way out of Sakura's throat, so powerful in volume and pitch that it left the Uchiha's ears ringing and a headache began to form.

The men went to clutch at their ears and cursed Sakura, calling her a variety of names and curses, following with threats of what they were about to do to her, which had her even further terrified and had even caused panic to throw a bucket of ice cold water on Satsuki's anger. This was it. The worst possible fate a person could meet. Raped to the breaking point and sold into slavery.

Was this how her life ended? Her goals… her ambition… her pain and suffering… all for naught because she'd been captured by an asshole of a pirate who just so happened to be a former shinobi!? Was that her lot in life? To suffer for the amusement of some unseen entity that would only delight in her pain?

Objectively, she knew she shared her fate with four other innocents, but she couldn't care less.

She'd had eight years of life before HE had snapped, gone crazy and ruined everything. And then, she'd dedicated his life to the pursuit of his demise, tried her hardest to grow as strong as she could. Someone grabbed onto her legs to still her, and only then did she realize she was struggling, as hard as she could, against her bonds.

She felt the cold sting of a knife almost cutting into her when her white shorts were destroyed by it. Her underwear came next, ripped by a rough, calloused hand off her, causing her noticeable pain. Belatedly, she realized that the others were in similar situations, though she, unlike the others, hadn't been flipped to lie on her stomach. She tried to cross her legs, growled and continued to struggle, but it was in vain.

All too soon, however, she felt exhaustion creep onto her, brought on from her chakra suddenly vanishing entirely, and she was out like a light. The last thing she had felt was that something warm and sticky covered most of her body.


The Last Uchiha's eyes opened suddenly and she felt panic grip her heart. She felt the cold bite of the terror that overtook her body suddenly disappear, and only warmth and an incredible feeling of simple safety washed over her. She shivered, unwillingly letting her body show her discomfort, yet she felt herself relaxing under the effects of the warmth that covered her.

She blinked a few times and her sight came into focus, the blurry images that had been truly unrecognizable suddenly taking the shape of Sakura's face, tears spilling from the jade eyes that Satsuki had never been more glad to see.

"W-What happened?" Satsuki asked, looking around.

"I… I don't know… I saw… I saw them rip off your panties but then I… I blacked out and…" Sakura sobbed. "It… it was so horrifying… We… The lessons… the academy never prepared us for something… something so vile and disgusting-"

"Sakura… are you… did they…"

"No." Sakura spoke, suddenly yet focused. "They… they couldn't… before I blacked out." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself so her voice wouldn't keep cracking whenever she tried to speak.

Satsuki herself was living up to her ice princess moniker, remaining cool and calm outwardly despite any terror she might feel within. Sakura admired her for it, admired that composure that hadn't broken even when they'd been put through the ultimate test of their resolves this day. Sakura had cracked under the pressure and felt more panic and terror than she'd ever felt before, her fear affecting her even now, even though she was safe.

She could still feel their filthy, grimy and rough hands, gripping her body and keeping her still, spreading her legs and roaming all over her body and she felt like returning her breakfast to the outside… which she'd already done before, if the fact that there was a bucket filled with vomit not too far away was any indication.

"Something saved us." Satsuki concluded. Then she shivered, realizing there was nothing covering her lower body but a blanket thrown on top of her. She desperately wanted to take a bath, to scrub herself raw to remove the filthy taint of the insignificant maggots that had dared touch her body. She recalled their faces, their lecherous expressions and their man parts, and she shivered once again. "I will find them and kill them all."

"It's a little too late for that." A sudden interruption cut off her musings as the blonde from Kumo entered the room, distracting Satsuki from her anger and rage. Satsuki narrowed her eyes and glared at the kunoichi that came in, but the girl merely raised her hands in the universal symbol for a cease fire. "None of us was raped. An attempt was certainly made, but our teacher and your third teammate rescued us in the nick of time and killed all the pirates off."

While it was an admittedly reassuring thought, Satsuki immediately seized on the fact that she had just recalled this was a planned pirate attack that could not have possibly been so successful that they would have finished in such a short amount of time. Satsuki had to guess that most of the staff had been replaced with infiltrators, which left the question… "The attack. Is it over!?" she nearly snarled, hoping she'd have a chance to seek some payback.

"Yes." The blonde said. "As a whole, the ninja aboard the ship were able to repel the attack, though one genin from Iwa was raped and murdered. We were not the only ones intended to be sold as slaves after our captures. Every one of the pirates was found and either killed in battle or tortured to death by the jounin, while most genin suffered minor to major injuries. Most of the jounin suffered minor injuries, although our teacher, and yours, remain unharmed. Your third teammate, though…"

"N-Naruto!" Sakura squeaked. "She saved us, didn't she!? How is she!? Please, tell me!" Sakura nearly yelled.

Satsuki growled at how the blond ninja seemed to suddenly clamp down. The most developed kunoichi in the room took a deep breath. "She's… cool." She said, closing her eyes. "She's with your teacher right now…"

There was a note of… awe? Fear? Definitely something along these lines, in her voice. It caused Satsuki to blink. "What…"

"You… better take a bath and change your clothes." The blond kunoichi said, looking a little green. She was probably quite under the weather herself, though Satsuki had to admit she fit the 'Ice Princess' moniker even better than herself, given how well she'd kept her cool.

"I… see… thank you for your help, uh…"

"Samui." The girl provided. "While we might not be allies, we have shared a horrible experience. I was hoping we could be… friends." She said, sounding a little doubtful about her words, hesitant and shy, most likely.

Sakura tried to smile, but it came out weak and she faltered. She couldn't say no, even if she wanted to, because she dearly wanted to remind herself that she had avoided a horrible fate, and Samui reminded her of both the horrible event and their amazing fortune in being rescued in the nick of time.

The blonde left soon after, confirming to them that she would go check on her teammates, who were similarly distraught, and invited them over to drink some hot chocolate in their room with their sensei, stressing the safety that his presence would bring. At this point, Kakashi felt too unreliable, and meeting the man who'd been one of their rescuers was an enticing idea for both of the Konoha kunoichi.

It took a very, very long time for Sakura to let go of Satsuki. Even then, she was still incredibly clingy as she helped the last Uchiha off the bed she'd been placed in and, minding the Uchiha's wobbly legs product of the bruises lining them, helped her walk as they moved to the suite's built in bathroom.

Satsuki mused that, with all the commotion, she hadn't even thought that the room she was in was surprisingly fancy, something that her cheapskate of a sensei would never have sprung for unless something had forced him to. Both she and Sakura, however, agreed that the price was far too high for them and totally not worth it, even as they peeled off their clothes and walked into the showers together. Neither wanted to be alone right now.

It was funny how much both of them found themselves missing Naruto right now. She'd make a stupid joke that would be so unfunny it'd be funny, which would make them laugh and momentarily forget about the ordeal they'd just been through. She'd just smile and tell them everything would be okay and somehow they'd be able to believe her no matter what.

She'd be able to take the feeling of dirtiness clinging to them away, without having to scrub their skin a raw pink to do so. Lacking Naruto, however, both kunoichi had to content themselves with the act of rubbing a soapy washing cloth over their bodies with enough strength to peel off layers of their skin, taking away with it whatever remained of the monsters' bodily fluids.

Because that's what they had been. Remorseless, monstrous entities who would perform horrible acts and enjoy them.

Satsuki growled at herself. The dirty feeling covered her just didn't go away! She couldn't wash their filthy touch away! She scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, ignoring the ever increasing pain in her legs in favor of the ever increasing panic…

… until a soft, soapy hand stopped her. Satsuki felt incredibly weak, her chakra was not up to the task of boosting her strength to make up for her deficiency yet. She didn't even realize, nor notice with the spray of the showerhead, that tears were running down her face. She felt a soft hand cup her chin and tilt it up, meeting those jade eyes that told her she was looking Sakura in the eye. "Satsuki-san…" Sakura mumbled.

"Why..?" Asked the Uchiha. "Why am I so weak?" She clarified, uncaring of Sakura's reaction. "I try and try, I train hard, I put my everything into every mission, every exercise and every book and scroll I can get my hands on!" A sob wracked her body. "Why am I so weak?! Why can't I get any stronger!? Everything I do always turns out to be in vain and somebody has to save me because I'm just a weak and foolish little girl who can't do anything right! I'm just a useless stain on the history of the Uchiha clan! I wasn't even a distant second best to Itachi, I didn't even register in his radar!"

"T-That's not true! You're not useless or weak at all!" Sakura spoke, her tone at first doubtful, yet filling with conviction as she continued. "You're Satsuki, the Rookie of the Year who got top marks in nearly everything in the academy!"

"And what good is that!? I'm a pathetic embarrassment to the Uchiha Clan's Legacy! My father was right, I'm not even a worthy fucking spare for Itachi! I can't do anything right! I couldn't learn that fucking fireball, I don't even have my stupid Sharingan!" Ranted the Uchiha, her fist moving with speed and strength she didn't know she possessed as she struck the tiles that lined the shower walls. "I couldn't do anything and the goddamn dead last had to come and save me! I should just give up trying to be a ninja! What point is there in even trying!? I should just worry about becoming a mother so that I can atleast fulfill one of my goals in life, rearing children is probably all I'm good for, if even that!"

The resounding crack of a slap cut through the sound of water hitting the floor and the sting cut through the grief and sorrow that had taken possession of the young Uchiha. Her pink haired teammate scowled at her, and Satsuki realized she'd fallen on her butt and was now cradling her stinging cheek. "You're wrong." Sakura informed her, her tone clipped and unnervingly calm. "Satsuki, you were incredibly brave! If you don't believe me, I'm sure Kakashi-sensei would back me up on this! I… I was so terrified I couldn't even think when that man tied us up, but you were the one who tried to chew through our ropes and didn't give up even after things looked grim! Don't sell yourself short!"

Satsuki felt another sob wrack her body. "What good is all that courage if I don't have the skill or ability to back it up!?"

The pinkette kneeled so she was face to face with the Uchiha, locking jade green with onyx black. "Satsuki… The man who restrained us was a jounin. And a very good one if his proficiency with the sealing arts is anything to go by. He drew seals on us using only our chakra, that takes a lot of skill, according to the books I read on it. Plus, he was clearly able to plan a very elaborate attack that only failed because he underestimated the quality of some of the genin and jounin on board." Sakura explained, placing her arms on Satsuki's shoulders and ignoring the unpleasantly hot water that hit her back. "We couldn't honestly be expected to win that fight. Even… even Kakashi sensei would have had trouble with him, at our age, and he was already a jounin by then."

Satsuki had a grim expression on her face. She was just reminded that she didn't meet Kakashi's standards for training. Yet another prodigious genius had deigned her unworthy… "I'm supposed to be a prodigy…" She mumbled.

Sakura didn't speak. She just pulled Satsuki close to her and held her, letting the Uchiha work out her frustration and rage at herself through her tears. Sakura felt much like crying herself, but just as Satsuki had been a pillar of strength all throughout the academy, representing what Sakura wanted to be seen as, a strong, competent and driven kunoichi, during their academy days, Sakura would now be a pillar of strength that would try to glue the pieces of the Uchiha back together.

It was only fair, after all, to repay her for the inspiration.

Strangely, Sakura thought that the fact that Satsuki was a human being who fell prey to the same sorrows and weaknesses that other humans fell to, only further enhanced her strength. And it would show, because Sakura fervently believed that the Uchiha would not be kept down by something like this. She had suffered horribly before and gotten back up. The strength necessary to do that was what Sakura had admired so much from the Uchiha, and she knew that it was still there.

Everyone needs somebody they can rely on, every once in a while.

Neither truly wished to move much after their bath as they climbed into bed together, holding onto each other for comfort and warmth beneath the blankets, dressed in the night clothing offered to them by a few concerned and thankful nobles (finer silks than anything they'd ever worn before).


Samui paused, looking around and seeing nothing out of the ordinary in either the wooden floors or the immaculate white walls. Of course, when she turned around, she saw nothing behind herself. Very nervous and slightly afraid, she turned back to the direction she'd been going at in the first place and yelped, taking a step back. "Oh, it's you." She said, calming down noticeably.

"Are you alright?" The other figure asked, tilting her head and causing a cascade of golden spikes to spill over her shoulder. Samui shrugged, indicating that she was not gonna answer that question truthfully, which was fair enough given that such information was probably not commonly given. "How are they?"

"I think both are hiding a lot of their fear and pain… I do not think your academy prepared them very well." Samui explained, sighing. "While a real situation is far more shocking and unnerving than a simulation, I admit that our training in such situations has made this much more bearable."

"I see…" Naruto said, frowning slightly.

Samui sighed, calming her nerves somewhat as she did so, however she didn't fully relax. The sun was starting to set and the unlit areas would soon get pretty dark. She'd hoped that her new friends would join her and her team in a bonding activity, but given the lack of light, she found it unlikely. Regardless, the cruise had several days left until they got to the closest port to sort out the massive complications they'd come across. "You should probably change your clothes…"

"I have nothing else. I… kinda forgot to bring extra changes with me and the outfit they loaned me was ruined in the fight."

Samui pursed her lips. "Still…"

Naruto shrugged. "They're clean and comfortable and, for the moment, it's enough for me." She spoke, looking down at the long red coat trimmed in gold she wore, which had sleeves that were a fair bit longer than her arms and which almost touched the ground.

"Still… you took his sword, too."

"It was mine to begin with. Apparently, I have a clan, and this thing…" She lifted a pure white sheath, decorated with an elaborate golden design near the blade's small cross guard and tipped with gold on the tip, along with the blade in it, which was a simple weapon that wasn't outwardly unique. Surprisingly, it happened to be the perfect size for Naruto to use as a katana. "… belonged to them. I also took his hat. I liked it."

Samui frowned. She was far too casual about the fact she'd fought a jounin, admittedly with backup provided by two rather powerful jounin, and come out on top, not to mention the things that Samui had seen but nobody else in those kitchens had. She'd been the only one to remain awake. Ultimately, Samui said nothing about the other blonde's choice of action or words.

"Oh, well. I'll see you tomorrow, Samui-chan! B-nii told me he'd show me some of his raps tomorrow! I can't wait!" Naruto said, grinning and running past Samui to the room she and her teammates had been moved to after the pirate attack.

Once she was gone, Samui permitted herself a full body shiver and she rubbed at her upper arms, before walking off at a brisk pace.


OMAKE: When Canon Attacks

"This is, very clearly, a joke." Sasuke stated.

"It can't be anything else." Satsuki replied, glaring at her male counterpart. "This is so non canon it hurts."

Both of them crossed their arms and huffed, angry at each other. They then turned away, closed their eyes and grunted. "You're trying way too hard to be cool." They said in a chorus so perfect that neither noticed. They turned back to glare at each other.

"Oi, get a room, you two!" Naruto spoke, raising a blond eyebrow and leaning back in the lawn chair that one of his clones had transformed into. He made the handseal to bring another clone into existence. "Yo, Naru-chan, want more lemonade?"

"I'm so jealous of that jutsu!" Naruto cried indignantly. "Author-sama, why can't I have cool things like that?" She asked, looking at the fourth wall with tear filled eyes.

"Because the author is sick and tired of seeing Kage Bunshin used as a crutch, plus the whole thing with us training to be super strong in no time at all using the clones would really throw the story's flow out of whack. Meh, you're cool the way you are, Naru-chan!" The blond spoke, reaching over and ruffling the girl's hair.

"You're pretty cool yourself!" the blonde replied.

Sakura sighed. "I'm surrounded by idiots." She spoke, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

The other Sakura looked at her. "Wait, if the Sasuke in your world is female… does that mean you're a lesbian?" She asked, blinking in confusion.

"No! I'm not a goddamn lesbian!" Sakura cried out in indignation.

"Bullshit you aren't!" Naruto replied.

"I can't even begin to describe how cool your universe is, Naru-chan." Naruto replied. "Wait, how old are we in this omake?" he asked.

"That depends." Naruto replied. "On whether or not those two over there…" She began, pointing at where Sasuke and Satsuki had engaged in good old fisticuffs. "… are gonna have sex after beating each other up."

"So… legal, then?" Naruto asked.

"What describes 'legal', anyway?" Sakura asked. "I mean, pretty much every country and culture has a different age at which they'd consider something proper. So what could be potentially seen as okay in one culture would be terribly offensive in another."

The other Sakura hummed. "Like your obvious lesbian crush on Satsuki." She mused. "In some countries, it's seen as an immature phase that you have to grow out of…" She absent mindedly coughed something that sounded a bit like a certain country in Asia's name. "… while in others, it's seen as immoral since you're still underage, but would be perfectly accepted if you were, say, three years older."

Naruto had procured popcorn out of nowhere. Both of them. They were munching on it while they watched the fireworks that ensued from the two Uchiha fighting. "Wow. I didn't know Satchan could bend that way!"

"I didn't know that Sasuke was that flexible either! You know, your Sasuke is kinda cute…"

"Oh, hell naw!" The two Sakura spoke in unison, getting on either side of Naruto and punching him upside the head.

"Hm… Well, if he scowled less and smiled a little more, I'm sure your Sasuke would be plenty attractive too…" the female Naruto mused. Then she grinned.

The two Uchiha immediately stopped fighting as they felt a chill running down their spines. "For some reason, every single one of my instincts is telling me to run, run and never look back." Sasuke informed.

Satsuki nodded and helped him to his feet. Both were running for the hills in a second flat.

"Aw, Satchan! Sasuke-kun! Come back!" Naruto yelled, standing up and running after them with a grin.

One Sakura blushed from anger, the other from shame. "Is she always like this?" The canon flavor Sakura asked.

"You have no idea…" Yuri Flavor Sakura replied.

Naruto raised his head and grinned at them. "I think I'm in love!" He said, as he saw both of the 'Last Loyal Uchiha' running away from his female counterpart. Then he was off like a shot after them.

Sakura sighed. "You're used to minimizing the damage Naruto causes, right?"

"Well, yes. I'm willing to bet that mine is more disruptive to missions, though."

"Really? How so?"

"You'll see… I just hope she doesn't get the bright idea to henge into the nine tailed fox or something equally stupid…"


Hope the Omake is satisfying enough, Oblitus-Umbrae. I enjoy the tonal whiplash it has with the rest of the chapter, though if you had something more serious in mind, lemme know and I'll write another omake next chapter that's serious in tone.

And yes, Oblitus-Umbrae was the first to guess that the Daimyo of Wind Country is Ashikaga Choushin, even if the name wasn't given accurately (I still count a partial match).

Now, now, now… let's go for something a bit more difficult.

You'll have to guess what the name of the Daimyo of the Land of Whirlpools is! While the ninja village that housed the Uzumaki clan is no more, the Whirlpool Country and its royal family still exists!

The hint for this one is simple: Their art and the Naruto world's art of sealing are very similar!