If someone asks you for the definition of anticlimactic, show them this chapter.
Hope you enjoyed me roasting myself. Read on!
He hadn't seen her in more than six years. He hadn't heard her voice or held her, hadn't kissed her or held his children in his arms. He knew he had more than one child. He knew they were both girls. About a year ago, a fisherman from some country or another came with an envelope for him. Itachi had attempted to find out where the man had come from, but he would not budge and wouldn't tell him.
Itachi had framed the pictures of his girls. She had sent two dozen of them. He liked to stare at the pictures of them as babies and Sakura had written a couple little notes on the backs of the pictures. She had taken one of them sitting up for the first time and when they had stood and walked. She had sent a couple pictures of the twins in the midst of their training, though they weren't his favorite.
His favorites were the ones with Sakura in them as well. Her pink hair was growing through the years. She had included one in which she'd been sleeping with both the twins on her chest, obviously a few weeks after they'd been born. She had been holding them so very tightly and she looked so peaceful in the tiny bed she'd had. There had been one for every birthday which Sakura would be between the girls, the cake in front of them.
His absolute favorite was a family photo of the three of them. Sakura sat between their daughters, who were leaning into her. She looked the happiest in this picture, though their daughters looked just as happy. He wondered if they knew anything about him. He wondered if Sakura told them about their father and why she ran away from the village. He wondered if she missed him sometimes.
He was staring at that picture that had replaced the one Sakura had taken the day he heard. Shisui came bursting through the door, his eyes excited and a wild grin on his face. He was smiling so energetically and almost seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say. Itachi quietly placed the photo back on the nightstand and rested his hands on his knees, raising his brow at his cousin.
"Sakura's back in Konoha," Shisui finally said. "The mission that sent most of the chuunin out in an attempt to find her so she could heal Lady Tsunade was successful. Konohomaru found her in a port village in Tea country." Itachi wasn't answering, he wasn't even reacting to Shisui's words. His entire world had stopped with the first words that had come out of Shisui's mouth.
"What about my daughters?" Itachi asked. He wanted to see them more than anything. He didn't have words to explain to Shisui his want to see his daughters. Shisui had been there when he'd opened that envelope with all the pictures. Shisui understood, on some level, that all he wanted was to meet his daughters, but he didn't completely understand it. He thought he wanted to see Sakura again.
"I don't know," Shisui shrugged. "You'll have to ask her yourself. She came in with Konohomaru less than a day ago, but she's been in the hospital room since with Tsunade. I don't know when she'll come out of the hospital, but I'll let you know if Tsunade gets better." Shisui was one of the guards watching the door of Tsunade's hospital room. It was him and one other anbu operative. Shisui wasn't too sure who it was, however, therefore couldn't ask him to watch for Sakura's leaving as well.
"Thanks."
"Are you going to try and talk to her?" Shisui asked, leaning against the door now. He wanted to have this conversation now rather than wonder if Itachi was going to try and fix things between him and Sakura. He wondered if Itachi would follow her back to the home she'd made and drag her back here anyways. He didn't know what was going to happen. Itachi hadn't had any serious girlfriends or settled on an arranged marriage since she'd left and so he wondered if he had yet to give up on her.
"I have no wish to make her stay if she doesn't wish to," Itachi said, pulling himself up. It was just as Shisui had feared. Itachi had pulled himself away from the situation. He had disassociated himself from the entire thing and now he didn't care what happened. His father could come out from the closet right now and announce that he was giving the title of family head to Sasuke and Itachi would just shrug and say alright. This was not a good way to be. Shisui knew the man had been depressed, jarringly so, after he'd realized there wasn't anything he could do to find Sakura five years ago.
"If you need to talk, Itachi, you know where to find me," Shisui said quietly, pulling himself off the wall. He watched Itachi for a long moment, wondering how this entire thing was going to come out. He didn't know what was going to happen and wished he could see the future. Would Itachi be okay? Would he be able to see his children, the children he had a handful of pictures of plastered all over his house? Would Sakura snub him and refuse to see him or tell him how his children were doing? He just didn't even know anymore.
Itachi didn't really react to his cousin, just watched him leave. Sakura was back? He didn't know how to feel about that fact. He had spent the last half decade taking as many missions as he could to far off villages and countries just to look at the faces of the villagers and see if he could find her. He never had. He never had a lead on where she was. She never visited him in the dead of night. The only thing he had after these last six years were a handful of pictures with a couple little notes in handwriting that jabbed him in the heart. He didn't know what to think and didn't know what to say to her when he saw her.
He did see her a week and a half later. She was running through the village quick as she could, her pink hair swinging wildly behind her in her race to the gates. Curious, he followed her, not knowing what she was doing. He didn't want to talk to her, still didn't know what to say. He watched her rush to a horse that carried a trailer, a frail old woman on top of it and two young girls beside her. He instantly recognized them. They were his daughters, the girls he didn't even know the names of but had pictures of.
He watched Sakura lift them easily from the cart and hug each of them, giving them kisses all around their faces. He wanted to go and talk to them, say something. He wanted Sakura to acknowledge his presence, but she didn't even turn. Itachi narrowed his eyes.
Since when did he not have the balls to do whatever he wanted? He knew they were the girls from the photos and he knew Sakura wouldn't dare ignore him or brush him off. This had been the first time he'd even seen her since he'd been told that she was back in the village. He didn't pretend to know anything about her now.
He was noticed; however it was not by Sakura. One of the little girls pointed at him and his delicate ears caught her question. "Why is that man watching us mommy?" Sakura slowly stood and looked in his direction. There was such fear in her eyes, though she smiled a thin, worried smile.
"That is your father," she said softly, kneeling back down to smile warmly at them. "Why don't we go say hello?" The little girls' eyes lit up in excitement and they nodded enthusiastically. Sakura stood again and held one of their hands. She seemed to need to hold their hands more than they needed it as she allowed them to pull her forwards. However, when they finally stood in front of him, the little girls didn't know what to say. "Why don't you tell him your names?" she asked softly, refusing to look at him.
"I'm Sachi!" the one on her left called, raising her hand with a glowing, excited smile. She looked over to her sister, but the girl was just staring at Itachi, a wondering smile on her face and a curious look in her eye. "That's Yuuki. Are you really our father?" Sakura flushed and still refused to look at Itachi.
"I am," he managed, though he felt as though his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth. The girls' excitement increased tenfold. Sachi began bouncing up and down enthusiastically and Yuuki only continued to stare at him, still caught up in wonder. Sakura held their hands in a death grip. She still didn't have words to say to him and she'd had six and a half years to think about it. He didn't seem to have the words either, though, so at least she had that on her side.
"Mommy? Can we spend time with him?" Sachi was the one to ask. Itachi was quickly learning that Sachi was more in control of what the sisters did than Yuuki. Yuuki didn't seem to mind the suggestion; therefore she wouldn't mind other things Sachi suggested. They seemed rather dependant on each other, though. Yuuki didn't seem to have the words to say and Sachi had too many.
"What do you say, 'Tachi?" His heart stopped when her voice said that old nickname only she would have license to use. He could only stare at her for a long moment before slowly nodding her head. He missed her voice. He missed her face. He missed everything about her, things that no other woman could replace. He hated that he was falling in love with her so quickly just because she had said his name. He hated that he couldn't hate her for what she did to him, for the stunt she pulled. He was so entranced by her beauty and the fact that she almost looked the exact same as she had when she left save for her hair.
"I do not have any missions." Her breath seemed to catch when she finally heard his voice in excess. She shook her head and still refused to look at him, leaning down between their daughters.
"Alright, you two are going to go with daddy, alright?" It sounded so foreign to him, to hear himself be called 'daddy.' "You can show him how well you're doing with your ninja training or you can show him how well you cook. If you're lucky, you'll get to meet your other Nana," Sakura smiled. "Grandma Marie is going to come with me, is that okay? Do you want her with you?"
Yuuki looked up at her father and thought him rather scary. He didn't smile and didn't frown. She couldn't tell what he was thinking and it honestly frightened her. She knew her mother was uncomfortable around him even though Sachi didn't seem to have a problem talking to him and wanting to spend time with him. He still frightened her, though. She didn't really want to spend time with him, she really missed her mom, but Sachi was going and she didn't want to be without her either.
"Sac—Sakura," Marie hopped down from the seat on the cart. "You know, I think I should go with them. They're sneaky little buggers and if I'm not around, they'll get away with murder." Marie had seen Yuuki hesitate when her mother had asked if they wanted Marie with them. She knew the little girl was far more on the side of caution than her sister. She picked up on things her sister did not and Marie was starting to see where she got it from. The stoic man was watching them, judging them, just like Yuuki would. She wondered, offhand, how his daughter could be so much like him when he had never seen her.
"If you think so Mama," Sakura said, pulling herself up. "Where do you want to meet up later, 'Tachi?"
"You should come home, Sakura," Itachi said immediately, watching her closely for any violent reaction. He was wondering if she would allow him to get away with this. He was wondering if she would allow him to talk to her and finally ask her why. Finally get to the bottom of all the questions that had festered in the back of his mind for the better part of a decade. Sakura only became very quiet for a long moment, as though she was thinking about what she should do.
"Same house?"
"Of course." Sakura nodded. She held her daughters' hands out. He offered his own hands to them. Sachi automatically slid her small hand into his, but Yuuki held back. She looked rather scared of him. Marie was beside her then, clenching her small hand in her wrinkled, twisted one. Sakura waved at them as they left and then turned around shortly after, probably to deal with the horse and where to put it.
"So you're really our dad?" Sachi was asking him as he led them to the compound. "Why haven't we seen you before?" Of course, little children always had to ask the most obvious, hard questions right off the bat. Itachi didn't become angry with them; however, he didn't want to be. He took a silent, deep breath, and managed to give the girl a small smile.
"It doesn't matter. We're together now and I am very glad of that fact," he said smoothly. He wanted to pick the little girl up, hold her, reaffirm that she was real and that she was here. It partially felt like a dream and he didn't want to wake up from this one. He wanted to make sure that his family wouldn't leave him again, even the woman that had broken his heart, broken a promise, and run away. He didn't want to give up these people again.
"I guess you're right. What are we going to do?" she asked, wanting to race up the road, but knew better. Nana Marie would yell at her and scold her and she really didn't like that. Nana Marie was perfectly nice if you were being good, but the minute you started being bad and she would yell and scold and fuss for hours. Sachi and her sister had learned a long time ago not to make Nana fuss.
"Are you hungry? We may go back to my home and cook lunch," he said, looking down at her. He wanted to see Yuuki too, but she was being successfully quiet in the back with the old woman. Itachi wondered who the old woman was and why Sakura had called her Mama. Sakura's parents had died a while ago and he knew that.
"We didn't eat breakfast, kid. Let's go make lunch," the old woman barked at Sachi. Sachi only nodded in answer to the old woman. So it seemed it was lunch, then. He thought it was very good the two girls seemed to show a lot of respect to their elders. It would surely make his mother happy when she finally met them. He wasn't going to introduce them to her today. He wanted them all to himself right now. He had been robbed of six and a half years without them; all he wanted now was to be in their presence.
Itachi opened the door and allowed the old woman entrance first, Yuuki in tow. The two girls were rather entranced by what lay inside the door and Itachi wondered why. His wonderings were answered when they both ran up to a wall, pointing at the pictures. He had hung them all in a cluster save for his very favorite that was on the nightstand in his room.
"That's us!" Sachi said, her eyes wide as she stared at the picture. "You must really be our father if you have pictures of us!" Marie didn't say anything. She had helped Sakura take and send the pictures after all, she wasn't too surprised that she had sent them to the father of her children. Sakura was far softer than she seemed and she didn't want to shove Itachi out completely. She simply hadn't known how to back out of the commitment and get more time without upsetting more than a handful of people.
"Why don't you help your father with lunch?" Marie asked, shooing them off to the kitchen where Itachi was pulling out things to make a salad with. Marie collapsed on a couch, closing her eyes. She was tired after their long journey and could really use a nap. She would demand a bed out of the man after lunch, but she was too hungry to do so now. The twins were set to take a nap after lunch as well, though she was sure they would ask to take a nap with the tall black-haired man. He seemed far too interested in wanting to spend with them, so she didn't think he would have the presence of mind to say no.
Marie had to admit that, after observing the man with his children for a solid twenty minutes, he was rather good with children. He was patient and soft spoken, much like the little Yuuki that was beginning to cling to his side having taken a liking to him. Sachi had spilled dressing on the floor and he only gave her a stern look and a rag. She cleaned it up quickly and he graced her with a smile. Yuuki finally spoke to him and asked if she could stir the pasta on the stove. He relinquished the spoon with a pat on her shoulder. Marie had seen the same stern, soft-spoken nature in Sakura, though she had a tendency to blow if she was annoyed enough. No wonder they had been set to marry. They complimented each other perfectly.
Itachi set a plate in front of her before following the girls into the dining room. He had thought her too tired to join them and he was quite right. She happily ate her pasta and salad alone and comfortable on the couch. She heard the girls talking excitedly to their father and she was glad that Sakura had decided to allow them to come along. She knew Sakura had felt terrible for keeping her children away from their father and probably thought this was prime time to allow them to see him.
"Nana Marie! Do we have to take a nap today?" Sachi came bursting into the room, her plate in one hand and her glass in another. Marie pursed her lips and handed the girl her plate. The girl knew she wasn't going to get any answers until she was done washing up and so went to do so. She came back, bouncing and hoping she wouldn't have to take a nap today.
"You know you have to or your mother is going to be very upset with you." Itachi and Yuuki were just coming back into the room. Yuuki had Itachi's plate and glass in her hands and she went to wash them before going to see what Sachi was trying to get from Nana today. Yuuki was never the one to demand no nap times or more playtime. She just liked to curl up and sleep for a few hours in the afternoon. It was nice. "Why don't you ask your father if he'll allow you to take a nap with him in his bed today?" Marie asked, raising her brow at the little girl. Obviously, she thought this was a great idea because she nodded enthusiastically and bounded over to where Itachi was standing.
"Could we nap with you today, daddy?" she asked. He wondered how that word could fall off her tongue so easily when she had only met him less than an hour ago. He wondered how this little girl that had never met him was so excited over his existence and wanted to spend all of her time with him. He couldn't say no to her, not when her eyes were so wide and she was smiling up at him like he was the only person in this world. Is this what being a father was like? He wasn't sure, he had finally earned the title of father just this morning.
"Of course. My bedroom is the last one in the hallway. Why don't you and your sister get into bed? I have to show Nana to her own room," he answered her pleasantly, pointing her in the right direction. He thought the old woman would want a nap of her own. She seemed quite tired.
"Thank you, young man," she said when he crossed to her and held out his hand to help her up. "I thought I would have had to ask for a room."
"I thought you would need a nap after travelling all that distance with two young girls," he answered smoothly, leading her to the same hallway he had just sent the girls down. He stopped at the first door on the right and ushered her inside. It was a pleasant guest bedroom with a bed that was large enough to fit three of Marie's. Marie wasn't complaining, however, she thought the bed looked quite soft and quite nice.
"I know you have questions," Marie turned to him. "I don't think I'm the one that should answer them. Sakura will be here tonight and I'll make sure the girls are occupied while you talk to her."
"I appreciate the gesture," Itachi said, a slight smile on his lips for her. "How long do the girls usually nap?"
"Two hours. After their nap, they usually go outside and train with their mother. I don't know what she's taught them, you'll have to ask them yourself, but I don't think Sakura will be upset if you give them their lesson today," Marie said flippantly, already on her way to the bed. "Don't expect me to be awake until dinner. And then don't expect me to be awake until breakfast," the old woman joked as she crawled into her bed. Itachi didn't answer, merely closed the door and walked slowly to his own bedroom. The girls were already on the bed, watching the doorway, waiting for his return. Sachi began bouncing around excitedly. Sachi definitely reminded him of Sakura, though Sakura's excitement was much more toned down in her adulthood.
"Calm down, it's time for a nap," Itachi said quietly, climbing into the bed. He pulled the book he'd been reading from his nightstand, intent on reading it while they napped. To his surprise, they snuggled up to his body. Sachi laid her head right on his shoulder and settled into the crook of his arm while Yuuki was a little more tentative and laid her head on his stomach. He was surprised and slightly confused. Perhaps they did this with Sakura too? He could see that. He just hadn't thought such a thing would happen to him in his lifetime.
He had managed to almost finish his book by the time they woke up. Sachi was the first one to wake and stretched languidly, pulling herself up into a sitting position and looking blearily around the room. "Daddy?" she finally said after a few long moments of seemingly remembering where she was. "Where's the bathroom?"
"Out in the hallway. It is the first door on the left," he answered, allowing her to disentangle herself. Yuuki didn't wake up until Sachi had come back and was bouncing on the bed, beckoning her sister to wake up. It seemed Sachi really was the ringleader, but didn't want to do anything without her sister. When they were awake and staring at him, he finally decided to talk.
"I was told that you train after your nap. Would you like to do that?" he asked. He would have to change into his regular training clothes. He didn't know how good they were, but he didn't feel like getting his clothes dirty. It wasn't on the list of things he wanted to do today.
"We love to train!" Sachi said, bouncing off the bed. "Where are we going to go? Mama says we aren't allowed to train in the house because we could break something." Itachi only shook his head. He hadn't ever been inside a child's head, but so far it was an interesting journey.
"We'll just go outside," he said with a smirk. He couldn't help it. They were just too entertaining. He followed them outside and then gestured to follow him behind the house. They bounded after him quickly. He pulled open the gate at the back of yard to one of the private training grounds on the compound.
"Are we allowed to use weapons? Mom doesn't let us use them very often. She likes to teach us how to control our chakra more than anything," Sachi said, looking at the ground. Itachi didn't really care, but he knew he was going to have to come up with an answer eventually. He thought for a moment before coming up with an answer.
"I suppose we can use weapons. Therefore we only use taijutsu. If your mother asks, just tell her that we did what you usually do," he said. Sachi seemed rather excited, but Yuuki didn't seem to know what to think. Perhaps she was not that good at taijutsu? He didn't know. He would find out within a few minutes.
These girls just had so much energy, as he found out. They had been sparring for about two hours at this point and they were still coming at him. He wasn't a man of low stamina, merely played with them for the most part. He didn't care much that he wasn't getting much out of this. He just enjoyed watching his daughters come at him in much the same way Sakura would. She had instilled her fighting style into them and nurtured it. They would surely be wonderful shinobi when they came of age.
He finally stopped them when the sun began to dip below the horizon. He guessed that they really enjoyed sparring. It was probably the highlight of their day if they've gone on this long with him. It was time to make dinner, though, and he had to go to the market. He would take them with him if they wanted to come. He didn't mind. He would figure out what they wanted for dinner as well.
"Why'd you stop, daddy?" Sachi asked, her luminous eyes watching him. Yuuki merely stopped, handing her kunai back to him. He stashed that and Sachi's back in his pouch before answering.
"It's almost time to make dinner. Would you like to come with me to the market?" he asked, watching them. Yuuki seemed about to say no, but Sachi shot her a pleading look. Sachi didn't want to go without her sister and so would stay behind if she really didn't want to go, but she also really didn't want to stay behind. She wasn't about to do anything her sister didn't want to do, though.
"Okay," came Yuuki's little voice. Sachi smiled a huge smile and looked up at Itachi, seemingly ready already. Itachi thought for a moment. He could always take a shower later after dinner and so just began leading them through the compound. He knew Sakura would probably be around either right before dinner or halfway through it, and so he knew he was going to have to make something that she really liked.
"Do you know what your mother's favorite food is?" he asked while they walked, his hand in Sachi's and her other in Yuuki's. Yuuki seemed thoughtful for a moment while Sachi only shrugged. She didn't really pay attention to things like that.
"Mommy makes a lot of things with chicken," Yuuki spoke up. "She likes to make chicken parmesan the most. Does that mean she likes that the most?" she tilted her head at Itachi. She had never asked Sakura what her favorite meal was and hadn't really needed to know. Itachi only nodded.
"I suppose that would make it her favorite meal," he said quietly. He remembered when he used to make her that very dish when he went to visit her during her lunch break in the hospital. She would eat is so quickly and was always so happy when she saw that was what was in the bowl. He was sure she made it so often because it reminded her of him. He wouldn't doubt it because he did the same things. He would make or do something that she would like just because she liked it. It reminded him of a better time.
He brought them around to the different stalls and let them pick out what they thought were the perfect ingredients, though he was sure to get all the ingredients they would need so it wasn't missing anything. Sachi insisted on she and Yuuki holding the bags and so he let him. He didn't mind. If one of them said they were tired, he would take it from them. No one questioned him about the two little girls. No one gave him odd looks and asked him where they came from or who they were. He wondered why, but didn't really care. He was far too caught up in the fact that Sachi had just noticed some sweets in the bakery window and was currently giving them the biggest eyes ever.
"You know, this used to be your mother's favorite bakery," he said, suddenly remembering when he had brought her sweets from here the one day when he'd been worried about her after a mission. "Would you like to go in and choose some things for after dinner?" he asked, gesturing to the door. Sachi looked up at him, hesitating, almost asking if she really could. She didn't think Itachi would be that nice, but she really liked the idea of picking something out. "Come," he said with an air of finality. Sachi broke out into a huge smile and followed him into the store.
It took her a couple minutes to decide, but she finally found a chocolate cake she thought Sakura would like. Itachi didn't mind buying a few pieces of it. He heard a soft noise behind him and turned to see Yuuki standing there, her face turning a delicate shade of red. He waited for her to speak. She didn't seem to be able to say anything though, so she pulled Sachi from beside him and whispered in her ear.
"Why don't you ask him? You know he'll say yes if he knows why," Sachi said after her sister was done whispering in her ear. Yuuki flushed a deeper red and covered her mouth with her hand, looking up at Itachi. She was just scared.
"Did you want to get something?" he asked, finally understand what it was she was trying to ask him. He guessed that she often let opportunities pass her by because she was just so shy and introverted that she didn't have the courage or the words to say to take those opportunities. Itachi didn't want her to feel put out because she couldn't ask him a question.
"For Nana," Yuuki said softly, looking up at him. She moved past him and pointed at a pastry in the case. "It looks like the ones back home that she really likes." Itachi was stunned by the thoughtfulness of the little girl. She had seen something she had thought her Nana would like and so made it a point to ask if she could get it. He was glad he asked her what she wanted.
He bought it for her and allowed her to carry it in its little box while he took the bags she had been holding. They made their way back to his home and he wasn't surprised to see that Sakura still hadn't come yet. He wasn't expecting her to. He remembered that she had a tendency to work too late, but he knew she would be here eventually. Her daughters were here and he knew she wouldn't leave them for very long. That was just her personality.
He was right. She appeared right before dinner started. She rang the doorbell and he went to answer it. She stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to say. She still didn't have the words even though she had thought about all day while she tended to Tsunade. Tsunade was doing better soon and she was hoping she would wake up soon.
"Hi," she finally said in a soft, quick, quiet voice. "Um, how were they?" she didn't have any practice with this type of things and she felt quite awkward and wished she could back out and walk away. She couldn't, though. Her daughters were here and she had to stay. The only thing she could hope was that they had gotten along and hadn't given Itachi any trouble.
"Momma!" Surprised, Itachi moved to the side as soon as he heard Yuuki's loud cry. He hadn't heard anything more than whispers come out of her mouth, but she threw that out the window when she saw Sakura. Sakura fell to her knees and opened her arms with a wide smile, falling back when Yuuki crashed into her arms. "Mommy, I missed you," she said happily, pushing her head into Sakura's neck.
"I know baby. How was your day with daddy?" she asked, carefully pulling her arms from around her neck. She cradled the little girl and lifted her easily to rest her little body against her hip. Yuuki smiled and hugged her around the neck again.
"It was fun. We made lunch and then took a nap with him and then we sparred for a long, long time, and then we went to the market to get stuff for dinner, and now we're here and dinner's almost ready!" she said, her words running together in her excitement. Sakura smiled and cradled her more securely. Itachi noticed that she still hadn't walked into the house and tilted his head. Was she still scared of him?
"Come in, Sakura," he said quietly, stepping to the side and reaching to touch her arm. Sakura jumped and bit her lip, staring at him in her nervousness. She knew she couldn't stay out here forever just holding Yuuki, so she finally entered the house. Everything was pretty much the same and iit bothered her slightly. How had he not redecorated in six years?
"Mommy, mommy!" Sachi came barreling around the corner this time and she hugged Sakura around the waist, planting her face in her stomach. "Mommy, I have to show you something," she said now, grabbing her hand and trying to pull her deeper into the house. Sakura passed an apologetic look to Itachi before she allowed Sachi to pull her to whatever she was so excited about. "Look, mommy! He framed these and put them up!" Sachi pointed to the wall of the photos Sakura had sent him about a year ago.
"I sent these to him, remember?" Sakura asked, looking at the pictures. A frown tugged at the corners of her mouth when she noticed one was missing. "Where's the one where we're outside and they're on either side of me?" she asked him as he came around the corner. She thought it odd that it wasn't in the collage.
"In my room. It replaced the one you took," he answered immediately. He walked to the kitchen to finish dinner while she stared, awestruck, at the wall. He didn't know what was going through her mind, but he was so very happy that she was in his house with their daughters. It gave him a taste of what should have been and made him slightly bitter. He still didn't know whether she was going to stay with them or take them away from him again. He didn't want her to take them away from him again. He really hated that idea.
"It smells really good," Sakura said timidly as she came into the kitchen. She had sent the girls to go wake up Marie and bring her in for dinner. She hadn't wanted to be alone with Itachi, but she wanted to let him know that she was trying and so thought this was the easiest and the best way to do it. Itachi didn't seem too upset about the fact that she had said something, but didn't answer either. "Itachi?"
"You don't have to attempt pleasantries if you do not want to," he said as he pulled the chicken out of the oven and went to strain the noodles from the pot. Sakura stared at him in surprise for a long moment, a hint of tears behind her eyes. She hadn't expected so much hostility to come from him and it hurt her, it hurt her a lot.
"I wasn't attempting to talk because I didn't want to," no, it didn't make sense even as she said it, but she didn't care. "I was attempting to talk because I'm trying. I apologize. I'm staying at Tsunade's house if you would like me to leave and bring the girls by when it's time for bed." She began to turn towards the door, not wanting to hear him reject her again, but he stopped her with a hand on her wrist.
"I did not mean it in anger or passive aggressive behavior," he said, watching her with that stare she hadn't had on her in six years. "I meant that you do not have to talk to me if you don't want to. If you would like a glass of wine and to sit on the couch, you are more than allowed to," he explained, hoping it made sense to her. Her expression softened.
"I suppose I will take that glass of wine at least," she said, looking at his hand on her arm now. He nodded impassively and let her go, grabbing a wine glass and pouring the red wine he'd gotten into it. He handed it to her before going back to preparing dinner. Sakure half wondered where Marie was and shook her head. She was probably keeping the girls busy so that she could have a couple minutes alone with their father.
"Sakura," he said quietly as he threw the salad together and poured sauce into the pasta. "Why did you leave?" This was the biggest question that had plagued him since she left and he couldn't help but ask her at this point. It was burning in his mind and since he had her alone now, he wanted to know. Sakura sighed and set her wine glass down, playing with the stem and watching the liquid inside.
"I was scared," she finally said. "I was twenty and pregnant. We were supposed to be married in a week. I never thought about getting married and it scared me that I really hadn't had a choice because I chose to keep the pregnancy," she continued quietly. "I didn't want people to look at you in disgust and judge you because you knocked me up and had a shotgun wedding. I didn't want them to stare at our girls like they were bastards or for people in the clan to question your position because of them." Her reasons were half thought out and didn't make much sense, not even to her, but it had been what she was telling herself for the past six years, that's all she really had. She knew how it sounded and she absolutely hated it.
"I wish you would have said something to me," he said, turning to look at her. He hadn't really forgiven her, but there was no real reason to be angry. He didn't have a reason, not at all. It had happened so long ago and it was so far in the past that it didn't matter that she left. It just mattered that she was here and it mattered whether she was going to leave again. "Do you regret leaving?" he needed to know. He needed to know if she felt bad for leaving, if she missed him. It would make it easier to forgive her if she admitted that she missed him and regretted her decision.
"Sometimes, but I don't really know if I should. I don't know if my leaving made it easier on you. I don't know what went on here in the last six years. I missed you and I missed everyone and I felt bad that you didn't know your daughters, which is why I sent those photos. I thought you should know what your daughters look like at least and I wasn't really planning on coming back in case you had moved on and found a new wife. New wives don't really like children from a different relationship," Sakura answered, shrugging. She knew this sounded lame as well. Everything sounded lame and if she didn't feel bad about leaving before, she definitely did now.
"I didn't think you would return, but I have never found interest in anyone else," he told her, catching her with those dark, dark eyes. She flushed under his gaze and stared at the counter. "When I was given those pictures, I tried very hard to get the fisherman to tell me where you were. He did not tell me and I was not very happy. I wished you would come back, but you never did. I have taken so many missions to faraway lands just to look in the villages for you." Sakura felt those tears starting to come back. She felt horrible. She didn't know that he had spent all these years still looking for her. She didn't know that she had really been the one for him. She thought she was doing him a favor, but she knew now that she had really hurt him and she didn't know if he could ever forgive her.
"I'm sorry," her voice was hoarse with the beginnings of tears behind her eyes. "I'm so sorry and I don't know what I was thinking anymore. I'm sorry that I stole all those years away from you to be with your daughter," she was crying now, hiccupping and sniffling without caring. "I'm sorry that I never came back and the only thing I ever sent you was those pictures. I'm sorry for everything and I wish I would have thought it through and talked to you before just leaving you." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and coughed, tensing in how upset she was.
Itachi couldn't help himself. He was so upset with her. He was upset and relieved that she was here and talking to him. He didn't think he was going to touch her, but he didn't think she would be crying and looking so pathetic in his kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her harshly to his chest, a hand on the back of her head, pressing her face to his shoulder.
"It's alright now," he heard himself saying, not really realizing what he was saying. He didn't care what he was saying as long as she stopped crying. She could hold him to his words later and he would accept it as the truth because he stood behind whatever he said, even if it was because she was upset and he wanted to calm her down. "You're here. The only thing that could hurt me now is if you're planning on leaving again."
"You love them, don't you? Tell me you love them and I won't take them away. I won't go anywhere. I don't care if you don't love me. I don't care if you can't be with me. As long as you love them and you want to be with them, I won't leave again." She said all this in a rush, pulling away from him and staring at him with wide eyes, a look that Yuuki could mimic so very well.
"I do love them, but if you stay it will be as a family." He was still part of a prominent family. He still couldn't get away with having children outside of marriage. He would be shunned and so would she and he couldn't do that to her. Though he wouldn't really care or mind, he knew she would. She wasn't used to living on the edge of society like he was. He didn't socialize a lot and didn't want to, hence why he hadn't found anyone he liked as much as Sakura. "I am still to be the head of the family. If you are to stay with them, it will be known that they are my children and I will be shunned and disgraced along with you and our children if we do not marry."
"Will you actually ask me this time instead of just assuming I'll go through with it?" she asked, staring up at him with a cynical eye. He couldn't be angry with her, not now. She was reminding him why he was so entranced with her in the first place. She could go from one emotion to another in half a second and make him feel like he was the only person in the world. Although it was six years later, there was something in her eyes that made her look wary. She was cynical and slightly angry about life and it made him want to smile, like now.
"I will ask if you wish me to," he said, brushing his fingers through her hair, "Only if I am sure you will say yes." He still didn't know whether she was going to stay or not. He didn't quite trust her words yet even though she had said she would stay if he said he loved his daughters. She didn't bat an eye at his choice of words because the girls barreled around the corner. She pushed away from him quickly and he wondered why. He didn't have time to dwell on it, though, because he realized everyone was probably hungry.
Sometime later, the girls were asleep in the other guest bedroom and Marie had gone back to bed the moment dinner was over. Itachi and Sakura were sitting on the couch, tea in their hands. It reminded Sakura of the days before she left when she would sit with him and read a book while she read a book.
"Do you still have Charlie?" she asked suddenly.
"Charlie died," Itachi said bluntly, "but," he got up and went to his room, looking in the closet. Oftentimes she would hide in here. "This is Snow paws," he said when he came back to the living room, placing the cat into her lap. "She is one of Charlie's litter." Sakura's face lit up as she pet the little cat. The cat warmed right up to her and purred, settling on her lap.
"Did you name her Snow paws?"
"No. Shisui did." Sakura laughed and hugged the cat to her chest for a quick moment. She sighed when she looked at the clock. It was half past nine. That meant time for bed. The girls would be up at the crack of dawn and she would have to be off to check on Tsunade then anyways.
"I have to get to bed," she said as she pulled herself up and stretched, intending on heading to the room where her girls were sleeping. She didn't mind sleeping with them, it happened so often. She didn't know if Itachi wanted to sleep with her anyways. She didn't even know how she felt about Itachi anyways. She didn't know if he really wanted her around or would send her away eventually. She just didn't know and so was treading lightly around him. He watched her get up and moved to join her. He also didn't quite know what to do. He didn't know, really, if he did want her in his bed tonight or not. He thought it would be alright, he wouldn't be upset if she were to join him but he didn't know if she wanted to.
"Did you want to come with me?" he asked as they stopped outside the girls' room. Sakura flushed and looked up at him, looking quite uncertain and like she didn't know if she wanted to or not. He waited patiently, wondering if she would choose to sleep with their daughters or some to bed with him. A small smile spread over her face. She reached to him.
"Carry me?" He let out the softest chuckle and lifted her easily into his arms. She giggled and held tight to his neck. He couldn't help the smile on his face as he brought her to his room and let her down into his bed. She grabbed his wrist and pouted when he made to move away.
"I have to take a shower. Do not worry. I will not jump out the window." Sakura giggled, turning over. She was very tired after all this work with Tsunade. She hadn't done such intensive work in years. Itachi only shook his head and went to his bathroom.
Sakura was asleep when he came back from his shower. Itachi stared at her for a long moment before climbing into bed with her. He didn't touch her, didn't know if he could or not. He didn't know how she would react. It felt nice just to have her next to him, however. He fell asleep beside her, hoping she wouldn't be gone with their children by the time he woke.
My cats keep doing the kitty 500 at 4 am. STOP I NEED TO SLEEP. I HAVE WORK IN 8 HOURS.
