Hey guys it's time for chap 12. I didn't really like the last one so hopefully this is better.

Oh and just a random question, who here likes abused Harry as long as he isn't balling his eyes out. I do but I've met a lot of people that don't so review and tell me your opinion. But just a warning if you're no into that kind of stuff I suggest you don't read this story.

this is just a short chap that i wanted to add in so enjoy all ,D.

Disclaimer: no I'm not j.k, my writing doesn't even come close to being as good as hers is.


The whole night seemed to remind Harry very much of the Yule ball from fourth year. The only alternative was that no one was really dressed up in fancy dress robes.

But just like at the Yule ball Harry sat at a table, this time without Ron or their upset dates, and watched everyone else dance. Sirius had tried not once but at least three times to get Harry to dance.

Finally after failing he decided that it was better just to let Harry enjoy himself so other way. So after about two games of exploding snap in the comer of the room with some of his friends Harry found himself right where he was now.

No he wasn't bored or feeling alone in anyway. He liked being by himself some time, it gave him a chance to think things over. That and time to watch his friends act like fools and have a good laugh too.

But this time and moment Harry wasn't just thinking about simple things like what he was going to do tomorrow, or even more complex things like how he was going to survive the war. This was some where in the middle of what usually crossed his mind.

Right at the moment while he watched Remus and his godfather talk and all of his close friends dance and laugh he realized how stupid he had become. All of this time he was dreading the future and spending most of his time feeling sorry for himself. If you asked him right now you could bet that the way he would describe his old behavior as pathetic. And he was getting bloody well tried of it, so that night he made up his mind. Once all of those bad memories that he would always concentrate on were inside the pensive then they would leave his mind.

He didn't know for sure if he was thinking like that because Sirius spiked that punch perhaps or if it was the way he wanted to be carefree like everyone else he saw in the room. But in his mind he had his mind made up about letting go of the things that depressed him and not to bring them up again, no matter what the reason why was. If only he knew that on the other side of the room someone was having very close thoughts to his.


Sirius stood over by a wall on the right side of the room, with a scowl across his gaunt face. It was a way to mock Moony in how he was supervising everyone. Not to long ago Sirius was having a conversation with the former dada teacher and was trying every hard to make him have some fun.

But as always Remus made a choice to be the adult and simply watch and laugh from a far while all of the younger kids had fun.

But just because Remus refused to act less than his age didn't mean that Sirius had too also. He had spent most of the night thinking about ways to get the girl Harry was looking at before and Harry together. He had even come up with a plan to make Ron, Hermione, and himself push the pair together for the next slow dance that came on.

Before he knew it he heard the soft lyrics hit the room which was a change from the upbeat tempo that had just been going on. His knew that this was his time to go through with it all and get them together.

Everyone in it had already agreed to, so once Sirius gave them the signal they said they would help in anyway possible, because this was to good to pass up.

The godfather was about to give it to Ron and Hermione when Harry caught his eye. He was right where he had left him yes, at the table all alone. But this time when he looked over at him his expression had changed by far.

What was once a carefree look went to one of a more concentrating person, some one who was very deep in thought.

Sirius of course blamed it on the stupid war that his godson had to be a major part of. He knew that that must be hard to deal with at his age. An age that wasn't even a full grown wizard yet. Hell Sirius couldn't even imagine having all of that pressure put on him when he was that young.

When he was that age all he worried about was his parents and weather or not he could get a good date to the dance, or if his new prank would work. And in his mind that was exactly what Harry should have the chance to do.

They both should be able to put the past away for good and live happy lives. Nevertheless all Sirius could do for now was pray that Harry would make it out alive from all of this rubbish so he could finally live.

Sirius had to get past all of those years of feeling guilty about changing secret keepers with worm tail and he had to forget all of those nights he spent alone in the cold rotting cell of Azkaban. And he knew for a fact that the only way to feel better was to have Harry and Remus beside him as support.

So he only hopped that he could be there for Harry in the ways that he knew he would need him too.

Suddenly the plan was off and he didn't feel like embarrassing Harry that way. Now his normal self before all of this hard thinking came in and before Azkaban would have done it anyway. But this one time he couldn't bring himself to go through with it.

Instead all he hoped to do was walk over to Harry and wrap him in a hug. However, his better judgment told him other wise. He knew that that would only embarrass Harry in the way that he refused to do now.

He wanted to tell the teen that he knew what he had been through and it was all going to be ok. For once he wanted to grow up for a night and comfort some one who really needed him rather than watch bad things happen when he couldn't help.

But his problem now was that he wanted to do that for Harry and he just couldn't, well not yet at least. Not tonight and not now, because he knew he would just be lying if he did. Because no he didn't know what Harry had been put through because of the dark lord and he couldn't understand it because Harry never really brought it up and gave him chance to.

Though who could blame him for not wanting to reminisce. In grimmuald from what he had heard from Ron and Hermione before Harry arrived was that his godson had had a hard time at Hogwarts every year.

There was voldemort threats at the school every year from what he gathered. And the only time there wasn't was in his third year at the school. So Sirius couldn't help but feel a little guilty, from knowing that it was his fault Harry didn't get his one year of peace. But then again if he didn't break out than they wouldn't have had each other, just like prongs would have wanted, so the godfather just guessed that things all worked out in the end.

So he made up his mind right then, he was going to help Harry get through his past so that he didn't have to think about it or talk about it anymore. And the whole time he would do the same thing, that way it would help them both.

But first he had to look through the pensive Harry made tomorrow. Sure he knew Harry would be upset if he found out but he also knew that it was his only way to find out by being there with Harry in the past. In a way to speak that is, he would only be with the younger Harry and not the one that he looked at today.

Sirius though was willing to do it anyway. It didn't matter if he saw something he didn't like, and he was sure at some point in it he would. He would watch anyway and hopefully it would make him and Harry closer.

So that he could finally be the parent Molly Weasley always told him he wouldn't be.


Finally the guest one by one started clearing out and the party was coming to a finish. And the whole time Sirius and Harry just stood by each other and said goodbye to everyone that was leaving. Both of them refused to tell the other the thoughts that they had only an hour or two ago.

Sirius noticed with a coy smile as well as Remus who chuckled they way both Cho and Harry blushed as they hugged each other.

For a moment Sirius thought that they would kiss. From the way they almost leaned into each other and how they were taking way to long to say good bye.

But Colin came running over to get a personal goodbye from Harry and ruined the mood. So sooner or later both Cho and Colin left.

Leaving only Remus, Sirius, Harry, Hermione, and Ron with the twins and his younger sister. That was the group that was staying the whole night with them.

Remus took the kids up stairs to show them where they would be staying. After saying goodnight to Sirius and Harry of course.

The twins had their own room, Ginny and Hermione would share, and Ron and Harry would stay together, just like old times.

The group soon disappeared down the hallway and up the long twisty type of staircase to vanish from Harry and Sirius's view.

Harry wanted to say goodnight to Sirius personally so he told the others that he would join them soon.

Once they were gone and the sound of foot steps vanished Harry knew that he only had some time to catch Ron still awake so that they could talk. Something that they really didn't get to do at the party.

Harry had given him his space and let him dance with Hermione for a few songs just so that he might feel a little more brave and confess his feelings to her.

But after three songs they both seemed to stop talking and went over to hang out with Harry. That only lasted for about thirty minutes before Hermione was asked to dance again by some other boy making Ron jealous. And Harry took him over to the side to play exploding snap with him just so that he would stop ranting and staring at them together on the dance floor.

Sirius picked up on Harry's sudden feeling of urgency to talk to his best mate being the dog he was and all. So he sped things up and walked over and eloped Harry and a big hug, on that he happily returned.

The chosen ones godfather gestured to the staircase. Seeming to understand him Harry nodded and they began to walk up for bed. They keep their conversation going the whole time they walked.

" So who were all of those people mister BWL? Were they all friends of yours?"

Harry shot his godfather a curious look at the nickname he had used on him, causing Sirius to explain.

" Oh come on BWL boy who lived, don't you get it?" Sirius asked with a smirk. He had thought that it would be funny but he didn't expect his godson's face to promptly sober.

He stopped on the third to last step and grabbed Harry by the elbow making him halt to. Normally this would have made Harry think of uncle Vernon doing it to him and cause him to freak out. But as he looked directly into Sirius's grey and still haunted eyes he knew he didn't have to be that afraid.

" What did I do?" Sirius ask sincerely.

" Nothing I just hate being called that, no offense at all but I like being just Harry."

Sirius laughed that bark like laugh of his and nodded in understanding. " Well then just Harry I get your point," he paused and looked over at the rather large clock on the wall the suddenly chimed that it was midnight, " but since it's so late you'll have to answer my question tomorrow, night pup."

As Harry nodded too he gave him one last hug and the golden boy said goodnight in return.

They walked over and began to open the doors to there rooms when Harry suddenly got Sirius's attention again. He didn't know why but he just felt like he had to say it.

With a small mile Harry looked over at his godfather and said " Thank you, for everything." that was all one simple sentence, that meant so much.

"You're welcome." Sirius said a bit taken back by what Harry had brought up. And he watched as the younger boy opened his door a little more and walk straight in and shut it.

Once he was out of sight Sirius closed himself inside his room and slide against the oak wood door till he had his back to it and was sitting in the cold wood floor.

He ran his hand through his hair and gave out a quiet sigh. For some reason he knew that that meant more than what Harry was letting on. He also knew that he had a very big day in front of him tomorrow. That was the day that he would find out all of his godson's hidden moments that he wouldn't talk about.

Sirius would then find out how different Harry and James were and how much of Harry's life and the moments in it he hadn't been there for. And for some reason thinking about all of that made him feel like he wanted to cry.


yes i know it's really short but if u like it please review and u shall recieve more (hint, hint) 3