CHAPTER 12

Silence fell into the car when the sound of the shots had died. Lina didn't know which direction or where they were driving so she asked. "Where are we going?"

Sands stayed quiet for a while before answering. "I know this place they won't find us from", he said lighting a cigarette and glancing to the re-view mirror every now and then to see if they were following. They weren't.

She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. Now that the biggest danger was left behind and she could actually think about something other than fearing getting shot, or worse; being caught, she didn't know what to think of him or the situation. Everything had turned upside down again. He had left her there. He had taken Miguel's money and went on his way. And now he was back.

Why had he come back for her? Besides that one night in the barn, he had mostly been plain cruel to her and he had betrayed her like no one else ever had or probably ever could. He confused her and she didn't know what to think of him and his actions. He didn't seem to be anxious to explain anything to her, so they stayed in mutual silence for the rest of the way while Lina quietly wondered what this place he had talked about was.

It turned out to be an old abandoned looking house in the desert. There were hundreds of houses like that there, in the middle of nowhere; houses that people had left when moving to the cities to find work and in hopes of a better life. They were almost a sad sight.
Sands parked the car behind the house so that it couldn't be seen from the road. He picked the lock on the door and they went in. Linas surprise was great when she saw that although the outside of the house was badly ruptured, the insides looked modern and brand new.

"What is this place?" she asked him.

"It's an old CIA hideout place", he explained closing the door behind them. "If an agent would get into trouble, he could come here, where no one would find him."

"What if someone comes here? An agent I mean?" she realized to ask as she looked around.

"No worries about that happening, darling. The man who's replaced me has just arrived so I don't think he has any reason to come here yet."

"Oh…" Lina hoped he was right. But then again, maybe a CIA-agent wouldn't be such a bad thing to appear. She would at least get some law and order around.

"We'll hide out in here and wait for the dust to settle", he said, "and when the cost is clear we can head out. But in the meantime, we can just make ourselves at home." Sands jumped on the big coach, lifted his feet up too and closed his eyes.

Lina stared at him frowning. He seemed to have it all planned, like she didn't have a say on any of it. How could he act like nothing had happened? She had been locked up in that house where he had dumped her in. He had left her there thinking he had betrayed her. She had been scared, she had thought her life was over!

And now suddenly he was back like nothing had happened at all. Didn't he realize or was it that he just didn't care?

Lina had to turn away from him. She ran her fingers through her hair feeling utter confusion and anger.

When she let her hand fall back she noticed her arm. She turned it around in front of her eyes and examined it, unknowing that Sands was watching her from the coach. Her arm was all black and blue and her wrist hurt if she bent it.. All thanks to a certain Mr. Ramirez. Then Lina remember something. She saw a mirror and walked in front of it to take a look at her neck.
It was horrible. It was filled with red marks, some of them bite marks. She touched them carefully. It looked like some wild beast had been chewing on her. And that wasn't actually very far from the truth when she came to think about it.

Sands had come quietly behind her looking at the marks too. She noticed him from the mirror and their eyes met. His looked very serious.

"What happened?" he asked.

Lina looked at him through the mirror. "You want me to draw a picture for you?" she said loading her voice with sarcasm. "He tried to rape me, that's what happened. He knew about what happened between us in that barn and he wasn't happy, I can tell you that."

Sands went pale. "I wish I could put a bullet in that bastard", he then said and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Lina shouted and pushed his hand angrily away. She stepped away from the mirror and put some distance between them.

He looked a little surprised of her outburst. "I'm sorry-"

"You're sorry?!" Rage suddenly flashed through Lina. "And what exactly are you sorry for? About the marks? About him trying to rape me?" she shouted and suddenly couldn't control herself. "Are you sorry that you kidnapped me?! That you took my freedom and treated me like a… like a dishrag?! Are you sorry that you hit me, that you put my life in danger and let your so called friend put his dirty hands on me?" She was starting to fall out of breath because of all her yelling, but she wouldn't let it stop her now that she had gotten started. She didn't even let the tears stop her. She let all the pain she felt flow out with every angry word.

"Or are you sorry that you got me to care about you? That you made me feel something for you? Something I've never felt with anyone. Are you sorry that you made me feel like I was going to die when you left me in that place? Tell me what you're sorry for, you hateful bastard?!"

Sands looked strangely helpless and was even more pale under his tan than before. He tried to approach her, but Lina didn't want that.

"No, don't you come any closer!" Lina shouted and immediately backed up. "I think you've hurt me enough to last a lifetime. I don't need any more."

He stopped immediately and just looked at her. For a while they stood there looking at each other, Lina steadying her breath. "Darling, let me explain", he finally said in a hardly audible voice. Lina was so angry, so hurt that she wanted to hurt him too, physically hurt him. To hit and kick him until he hurt just as bad as she did. But something in his voice made her listen to him, even though she was annoyed by the "darling".

"I told you that I had my orders from Ramirez to get you", he said carefully. Remember I also told you about my situation?"

Lina barely nodded.

"Well… my morals might never have been quite up to standard, and at that time I was desperate for some cash. So I took his offer", he said and shook his shoulders. "Finding you was the easy part. The first time I saw you, you were going home. You looked sad and so vulnerable and fragile, and I remember wondering why. At the time I didn't know your father had died", he explained.
"I hadn't understood earlier what could be so special about a girl that Ramirez would go through that kind of trouble to get her. To me you were just a way to make some money. Sure, when I saw you, I agreed that you had a beautiful face and a gorgeous body..." When he said that, he let a grin sneak on his face. But when he saw that Lina wasn't very taken by his compliment, he got serious again. "But when a little time passed, I understood there was something special about you. That you were more than just a pretty face."
"Well, you know of course what happened after that. The whole drive was almost agonizing for me. I knew I had to deliver you to Ramirez or all hell would brake loose. On the other hand I wanted you for myself. I had a hard time keeping my hands off of you, I had to remind myself constantly that Ramirez had ordered not to touch you. That's why sometimes I was a little harsher to you than necessary. I tried to suffocate those feelings. I am a professional after all. I can't just let my emotions lead me."

Lina looked at him suspiciously. She remembered the time he had caught her in that alley, how brutal he had been. She also remembered what had happened that morning they had slept in the car. Had that been the reason why he hadn't gone any further with his passes?

"And then came the night in the barn. Believe me, I battled with myself to the last draw, but having you so close to me was too much. I gave in willingly. I felt like I couldn't get enough of you. In the morning when I woke up holding you, I knew that was the way it was supposed be. I thought; to hell with the money and to hell with Ramirez, I wasn't letting you go anymore."

Lina didn't know if she could believe what she was hearing. He behaved again so differently than before. He could talk, but was he telling the truth or was he just trying to manipulate her, and why?

"But you did let me go", she said simply. He wasn't getting out of it easily. She was going to get to the bottom of things.

"Yes, I did", he glanced at his feet. "When Ramirez's men met us on that road, I tried to think of every possible way to get out, believe me. I couldn't think of any that wouldn't include me getting gunned full of bullets once it was all over. So I thought it would be better to go with them and see if I could come up with something later."
"When we got to the villa and I saw the place I realized there was no way we could get out of there alive. I don't know what came over me. I thought; what if I just do like I planned, deliver you to him, take the money and leave. Drive as far as I can and try to forget about you."

There was a long silence before he continued.
"But when I saw you standing in that window, I…" He didn't seem to know what to say.

"All I wanted to do was run back to you and hold you in my arms", he said looking at her straight in the eyes. His eyes were soft, dangerously soft. Lina had to control herself so that she wouldn't drown in them.

"But I knew I couldn't' do that", he said, "so, I forced myself on the move and cooked up a plan to get you out, as fast as I could, gathering everything I needed. It was hard because all the time I thought of you in that house, alone with that man. Not knowing what he was going to do and whether I could get there before he would do it. I was ready to freak out."

While he had been talking he had silently come closer to her, and now they were only inches away. Lina tried to understand every meaning of his words. There was a pestering thought in her head, but it was too slippery, like a piece of soap that kept slipping through her fingers.

When Lina just stayed quiet he spoke again.
"Do you believe me, Lina?"

Lina looked at Sands and just then she got a good grab on her taunting thought. "I believe…", she said, "some of it."
He looked at her confused, so she continued.

"I believe that you wanted me. That you still want me."

Sands looked relieved, but Lina went on. "But that's not all there is to it. I wasn't the only thing you wanted", she said. "You see, I've come to know you somewhat, Mr. Sands, and I believe what you wanted was the money. Ramirez's money", she emphasized. "You wanted it so bad that you decided to risk it and leave me there. That way you could just waltz away with the cash and come and collect me later. And that's the truth, isn't it?"

He looked sad, and maybe even a little annoyed, and shook his head. "No, that's not true. I don't care about the money."

"Don't give me that. I'm not a fool", she snorted. She just couldn't trust him. He had fooled her before and she wasn't going to let him do it again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, her father had taught her.

"Well what the fuck can I do to make you believe me?" He threw his hands in the air. "Tell me and I'll do it."

As much as Lina would have wanted to yell back at him, she controlled herself and walked further from him. She knew it was no use to turn it into a shouting contest. To her surprise he did look like he was serious about it though, so she gave it a thought. After a while she came up with a perfect solution. She turned to him again.

"I'll believe you if you agree to give the money away", she said, "all of it. Donate it or something. It's drug money anyway, I'd like to see it being used to something good for a change."

For a while he looked like he didn't want to understand what she had said and Lina was sure that everything he had said had been just a big, fat lie.

Then he let out a long sigh. "OK", he said and then let out a small laugh. "Shit, I'll do it. If that's what you really want, I'll do it." His face softened. "I would never put you in that kind of a danger for money. Or for anything else for that matter. And I am sorry. I'm sorry about all of the things you mentioned just now. Everything, except for the feelings you might have for me. If they are true, I'll never be sorry for that."

He was serious, Lina could see that. Maybe, just maybe he was telling the truth this time.

Lina looked into his eyes and remembered again how much she had missed him when he had been gone. He had come back for her, even risking his own life doing so. He must have had some feelings for her. Maybe he did deserve a second chance.

Sands held out his hand. Lina looked at it for a hesitating moment, before taking it and letting him pull her in his arms. He held her so tight that it hurt. But she realized that even that pain felt better than any pleasure others had given her before. He rocked her in his arms and they stayed like that for a long time. Lina felt again that same closeness they had shared in the barn.
Finally he carefully let go of her, but still held onto her arms. Lina wiped the last tears from her eyes. She let out a small laugh.

"Look at me, I'm a mess."

He touched her hair gently. "No you're not. You're beautiful, darling."

Suddenly the 'darling' didn't piss her off anymore…

She looked into his eyes and then at his lips. Suddenly she desperately needed to feel them on hers again. He must have felt the same because he came in closer again.

The moment his lips touched hers, a warmth flowed over Lina leaving behind it nothing but tenderness. Everything felt right again. Everything was going to be alright, as long as she had him and he had her.

"Well isn't this wonderful", a voice came from the door, breaking the moment.

Lina and Sands broke apart and turned to see Miguel at the door.

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Muahahhaa!! ;-) R&R!