Disclaimer: Still don't own any of it, though I wish I did!
Chapter 12-Breaking Down Walls to Heal Old Wounds and Setting a Date
Remus had known she was there. He had scented her as soon as she'd sat down outside the door. He'd jumped down off the bed and lay on the other side of the wall from her, waiting for dawn. Remus had heard her breathing finally even out when she fell asleep hours later. When he felt himself changing back, he'd gone to the other side of the room and fought not to scream in pain so that he wouldn't frighten her. He'd managed not to scream too loudly, though he did moan loudly and writhe in agony. When he had managed to catch his breath after he'd become human again, he changed, and went to wake Phoebe and put both of them to bed.
Remus felt no small amount of self-hate for having to wake her instead of just carrying her. He was barely able to hold himself up, let alone carry another person. Remus looked down at her, curled like a cat on the floor and felt his love for her like an unquenchable fire in his veins. Not trusting himself not to loose his balance and fall on her, he closed the door, leaned back against it, and slid to the floor next to her head. He put his hand through her hair, brushing it away from her face.
Phoebe opened her eyes slowly and looked at Remus with a smile. It faltered when she saw how much worse he looked today than he had yesterday.
"You should have slept in bed, not out here on the cold floor," Remus admonished, smiling at the look of shock on her face at his appearance. "You're going to catch a cold."
"Remus, you look awful. Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" Phoebe asked in concern. She tried to get up, but found that all her muscles were stiff from sleeping on the cold floor and they protested, causing her to groan.
Now it was Remus' turn to be concerned. "What's wrong?" he asked alarmed.
"I'm fine, just a little stiff from sleeping down here," Phoebe replied. When he opened his mouth to comment, she held up one finger. "I don't need a lecture. My body is making me feel worse than anything you could say," she said grumpily.
"Well then, let's go get into our nice warm bed and we'll both feel better when we wake up," Remus said, suppressing a smile.
They helped each other up and hobbled down the hall, leaning on each other. They got undressed and fell into bed side by side. Remus emotional state was weakened due to his transformation and Phoebe could feel the pain and loss emanating from him. Phoebe laid her head on his chest and threw her arm and leg over him in a comforting, possessive gesture.
"Remus, would you please tell me what is wrong with you? I know that you are hurting. If you just let me in, tell me what's wrong, I can help you to over come it. Please, just let me help you," Phoebe said with tears in her eyes.
Phoebe heard and felt his sob as he began to cry. She got off him and gathered him to her as she would a child. All the pain, anger, fear, and loneliness he had been feeling for fifteen years finally found release. All he needed was someone to show him that it was okay to let go.
After crying out all the poison that had festered in his veins for so long, Phoebe heard many stories about his childhood and his days as a Marauder. He cried again recounting Lily and James' deaths and the pain of finding out that one of their best friends, Siruis Black had been responsible. Remus told her about Sirius also being accused of killing Peter. Remus told her about Sirius' escape, of Remus' fear for Harry's life, and how they had all finally learned the truth of the matter.
Even though Sirius had never been cleared, he had regained one of his best friends, only to have him die and to be left all alone again.
They talked about how he had seriously considered suicide so that he could join all those who had abandon him, but how voices sounding like Lily, James and Siruis had reminded him that Harry still needed him, reminded him that he and Dumbledore were the only ones who would be able to protect Harry until his destiny was ready to be fulfilled. Remus had been a little reluctant to tell her about the voices, but she told him of the many times that they had heard their mother and grandmother in the times when they most needed them.
After hours of tears, laughter, and reminiscing, the two finally fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms. They both felt better than they had in a long time, especially Remus who felt as though a festering wound had been lanced and healed.
Charlie did a lot of traveling for the Order under the guise of a loose dragon report. Every chance he got, he stayed at Number 12 Grimmauld Place with Paige. He wouldn't go as far as to say that he'd fallen in love with her, but he did care about her and it was a distinct possibility for the future.
Right now he was watching Paige sleeping as the warm, early morning sunlight flitted across her face. She looked very young and innocent asleep, though after being with her, he knew she was no innocent. He smiled at the memory of what they had done to each other the night before. Charlie got hard with the very memory.
As if on cue, Paige began to stir and opened her beautiful green eyes, looking up at him.
"Hey there. What are you smiling at?" Paige asked teasingly.
"You," Charlie replied, still smiling.
"What? Do I look that bad?" she asked sourly.
"On the contrary, you look absolutely gorgeous," Charlie said seriously, smile sliding off his face as he gently pushed her onto her back and leaned down to kiss her.
"Good morning," Charlie said his voice rough with sleep.
"Very good morning," answered Paige. "It's getting late. We should get a shower; I want to see how Phoebe and Remus are doing."
"In a minute. I just want to stay with you like this for another minute before we let real life back in," Charlie said.
Paige smiled softly and put her hands in his hair, gently smoothing it out of his face before wrapping her arms and legs around him.
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The next two days passed in a haze of pain and illness for Remus with the only other constant being Phoebe, who offered quiet strength and comfort. He had not felt so loved and cared about since his parents had died, nor had he loved someone as fiercely as he did her in his entire life. Whenever he tried to thank her, she shushed him and said he would do the same for her with a beautiful smile.
By the time the full moon was over, they were both exhausted and malnourished. They spent most of that first day sleeping, waking up ravished and raided the kitchen. Remus noticed one very important thing about the way he was feeling that day. The black cloud which he had lived under for so long was gone. Phoebe had somehow managed to heal his pain. He still dearly missed the friends he had lost, but she had forced him to face his pain and recover from it.
Phoebe noticed that Remus still looked like hell and deduced that he probably would for the next few days at least. Phoebe made a mental note to ask Piper later how much leeway she was making on the potion and offer her assistance now that Remus was temporarily out of the woods.
"Have the two of you set a date yet?" Molly was asking her.
"Uh, not so much. With the full moon, we haven't even had time to talk about it," Phoebe replied looking to Remus.
"Don't look at me. I would marry you this minute if we had someone to perform the ceremony," Remus told her.
"In that case, all we really need are marriage certificates, on for the Muggle world and one for the magical one. For the ceremony in the magical tradition, we need a Wiccan high priestess. If you can get the certificates, I can summon Grams to perform the ceremony," Phoebe said.
"But, isn't your grandmother dead, dear," asked Molly gently, thinking she must be under so much strain that she was either going insane or had simply forgotten.
"Well, yeah. Grams died almost eight years ago. That would be where the summoning part would come in," when both Remus and Molly continued to stare at her, she asked, "Aren't you able to summon the spirits of the dead?"
"No. We were under the impression that Muggles had created the tales of séances out of wishful thinking," Remus replied slowly. "But you, Wiccan, are actually able to do this?"
"Yes. We don't really know any other Wiccan, so when Piper needed a high priestess for her wedding, we summoned Grams. When we needed a matriarch to bless Wyatt and Chris for their Wiccanings, she was summoned for each of those occasions, too," Phoebe said, amused by their surprise. "We've all even been able to meet our mother. She came to Piper's wedding and after we found Paige, we summoned her to finally meet her youngest daughter," Phoebe's face fell slightly. "But they, the Powers That Be, still won't let us see Prue. We're told that it's because we aren't ready to see her, that we're still all hoping to find a way to bring her back, but I think they are just letting the Elders be spiteful."
"But, the Elders are Higher Beings, why would they stoop to being spiteful," asked Molly, surprised at the younger woman's obvious dislike of the being that they had been told helped guide them.
"It's a long, long story," Phoebe said irritably with a dismissive wave of her hand. "How soon can we get the marriage certificates?"
"I can take care of them tomorrow. We should be able to do it by next week," Remus said with an eager smile lighting up his face.
"Sounds great to me. I'm going to go hunt down Paige and Piper and tell them the good news," Phoebe said standing up and kissing Remus before heading up the stairs.
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The sisters spent the remainder of the day doing one of Piper's favorite things: making to do lists. Little did they know that this was one of Hermione's specialties as well, or they probably would have asked her to help them. They sent out invitations via owl and sent Leo to find Victor Bennett, Piper and Phoebe's father, and Darryl to invite them to the wedding. Victor, who never really liked Leo due to his white lighter status, took the opportunity to rip him a new one for making him worry about his girls. He had been trying to get a hold of them and had begun to panic, thinking some demon had finally killed them. Then he moved into grilling Leo about Phoebe's intended husband.
All in all, by the time Leo got back to headquarters, he had a migraine and was extremely irritable, warning them to beware when Leo orbed Victor back for the wedding.
"Dad may bluster a bit, but he won't ruin my wedding. I'm not worried about it," Phoebe said dismissively. Then added, trying not to laugh, "Besides, he's already taken it out on you, so all we'll get is an 'I was so worried about you girls' and a hug."
Leo gave her a dirty look and announced that he was going to bed. Phoebe checked her watch, "Oh my god! It's 11:30 in the evening! We should all be getting to bed, too, there's so much to be done!" Phoebe said with a little panic in her voice.
"Calm down! It's really not that much," Piper said soothingly.
"We'll get it done, honey, don't worry about it," Paige said putting an arm around Phoebe.
"It would be so much easier if we were allowed to actually leave the house," Phoebe moaned in frustration, then looked to Remus and Molly. "I don't suppose we're allowed to leave yet, are we?"
"Phoebe, we are not holding you prisoner, however, between Leo, Molly, Tonks, and I, we should be able to get everything we need," Remus said with a comforting smile. "Come on, we all have a lot to do tomorrow."
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Phoebe and Remus made love again before he fell into a deep sleep. Phoebe on the other hand, kept going over to do lists in her mind. She gave up on even trying to sleep after a couple of hours. She got dressed, threw on a robe, grabbed her notebook, pen, and wand, and then made her way down to the kitchen by the light of the wand.
Phoebe was surprised to find Harry sitting on a chair facing a roaring fireplace, with a cup of tea in his hands. He started when Phoebe came in, but she only smiled and asked, "Can't sleep either, huh?"
"No, not really," Harry said forcing himself to smile back at her. His pain was pliable; it permeated the room and almost made her cry out in agony. Briefly she wondered whether or not she was getting back her empathy power and made a mental note to ask Leo to check in the morning.
Phoebe put her things on the table and busied herself making a pot of tea, as she pondered the best way to approach the teenager currently letting grief and guilt eat him alive. When the tea was finished, Phoebe found a chocolate bar in a cabinet, made herself a cup, and brought the pot over to the table.
"Mind if I join you?" Phoebe asked quietly. Harry didn't look at her, but shook his head. "Do you want me to heat that up for you?"
"Yes, please," Harry said with a strained voice, holding out his mug.
After Phoebe sat down she decided to get right to the point. She didn't know Harry well enough to banter it out of him, so she'd take the direct route and hope like hell it worked.
"Are you thinking about Siruis or your parents, Harry?"
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A/N: There has not been much a of a build up on this site for Paige and Charlie's relationship, mostly because it contains loads of NC-17 stuff. I am in the process of rewritting this fic, so, when I am done with it, I will reload it in its new form and I promise that there will be more details in it. This was my first fic and it was started two years ago. I had a great deal of trouble getting in everything that I needed to. Now that I am more experienced, I hope that the revised version will be much better! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and I hope that everyone continues to enjoy this story!
