Chapter 12

I stared out my open window breathing softly, slowly. The moon was glowing with a bright ivory that I couldn't help but stare at. And next to it, the stars seemed dim; washed out by the spectral splendor of the huge white orb illuminating the night.

I sat back a bit, inhaling as much of the warm, sweet evening air as my lungs could hold. It felt good - so pure and clean; untouched by the damaged world that it nurtured. And from somewhere outside, the calming, comfortingly monotonous chirping of crickets was twisting through the air, winding itself deep into the soothing scenery I was enjoying so much and blending perfectly with the gentle rustling of a light breeze through the sleepy treetops.

I laid down on my bed, not bothering to pull my blanket over me. The whole room was warm, and my mind began slowing down; my thoughts all blurring together in the sleep-inducing setting. This night was perfect...completely, wonderfully perfect...

"Katara, no matter what happens, always remember I love you," whispered the bleeding figure lying in the snow.

"Mom, no! I need you! We all do! Please, get back up; before they come back, Mom, you've got to get up," I sobbed while I pulled desperately at her arm.

"No, Sweetheart. Stop crying; you'll upset your brother..." She winced and groaned a bit as she lifted her head to kiss my tear-stained cheek. "Here," she pulled off her betrothal necklace and held it out to me, "I want you to have this, so no matter where you go, you'll always have something to remember me by."

"Mom, stop; you're fine. Just come with me; I can help you. I -"

"Katara, go find your brother and your Gran-Gran and wait until your father comes for you. And honey, tell them..."

I dried my eyes but the tears wouldn't stop coming. "Come on, you can tell them. Come with me; please, you can tell them then."

"Darling, tell them...I love..." Her whispering stopped and her hand fell to the cold, red snow.

"Mom?" I screamed, wishing her eyes would open; wishing she'd get back up. "Mom!"

Sokka's hand suddenly clamped onto my shaking shoulder. "Katara," he whimpered, "stop it. Just stop."

"No, Sokka! We've got to help her! We've got to -"

"Help who?" snickered Sokka as he brought one of my dad's war clubs down onto my head.

I crumpled onto the ground, the whole world spinning...swirling around in front of me and I tried to make it stop...

My eyes shot open and I sat bolt upright, gasping for breath as my fingers wrapped loosely around my neck, searching for the familiar blue band. As they twisted around it, I let out a shaky sigh of relief. What a horrible dream. A horrible, horrible nightmare...

I wanted to talk to someone. To leave this room and the emptiness it was choking me with. Drowsily I got out of bed, determined not to spend the rest of the night alone. Maybe Sokka was still awake. I just wanted to see Sokka.

I stumbled to the end of the hall and glanced down at the stairs. Sokka was sleeping downstairs because his sheets were being washed. And I had to see Sokka. So I lifted one foot and moved to go down the steep steps, but something stopped me. Wearily I turned around.

"What are you doing?" whispered Zuko hoarsely.

"I want to see Sokka..."

"You're hardly awake. Come on." He pushed me gently back to my room but when he opened the door, I hung back. He sighed. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep there. Not alone. I want to see Sokka."

"Katara, he's sleeping. You should be, too. I should be...what are you even afraid of?"

"I...had a bad dream..."

"What happened?"

With sleep swimming in front of my eyes, I sat down on my bed and shrugged. "My mom was dying...again, and I couldn't help her. She was dying again and I couldn't save her. And Sokka hit me..."

"Katara, you couldn't have done anything. Even if you could've healed then, she probably would've died. You can't blame yourself," promised Zuko.

"No, you don't get it. I could've helped her; she needed me and I let her down," I cried. "It's my fault. If I'd tried, she'd still be alive. But I didn't even try."

"It's not your fault. No matter how hard you tried, you wouldn't have been able to do anything. And it's already happened, anyway. There's no use dwelling on it. I couldn't have stopped - er, you couldn't have saved her."

"What?" I was tired; not in the mood to dwell on anything...but what could he have done? "What are you -"

"Just go back to bed."

I curled up under my blanket and watched him walk away; watched him abandon me in the room that was sure to kill me. "Zuko?"

He stopped and yawned. "What?"

"Can you stay here?"

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Katara, you'll be fine by yourself."

"Please."

"Fine..." He sat down next to the door and crossed his arms, letting his head fall onto his chest. I knew he wasn't going to stay; he'd be gone the minute he thought I was asleep. But he was here now; someone was. I wasn't alone anymore...I wasn't alone...

"Okay, truth or dare?" I demanded, trying to sound dramatic.

"Uhh...truth," Zuko replied between snickers.

"Okay, um, what's your favorite thing about being in our group?"

"Hmm, well that's a real secret. You can just ask me that, you know. No need for truth or dare."

"Oh, I think someone's avoiding the question," I mocked.

He chuckled. "Okay, okay. My favorite thing about being in your group is being around you guys. Having real friends. It's nice. And you. I like having a girlfriend. Well, I mean, I like you. I like us. I love you. I love us; this."

What an incredible thing to say. Zuko knew all the right things to say. Zuko was perfect.

We kissed. A perfect kiss.

"Thank you."

He shot me a cocky smile. "Truth or dare?"

"Do you remember when we first came here?" I asked, changing the direction of the conversation. That would have been awkward only a week ago. But not now. I couldn't embarrass myself in front of Zuko anymore. We knew each other inside and out.

"Yes, I was 'lost' and you came to find me. We sat in here for a long time. That's when I knew we had chemistry."

"That's exactly right."

He looked at me for a long time. And I looked back. But we weren't really looking at each other. More like into each other. I could tell just by looking at him what sort of mood he was in, or if he was lying, or if he needed something to change. And it was the same both ways.

"Katara, Katara!" Zuko practically screamed in my ear.

"What, what is it? I'm up!"

"Sokka told me to wake you up. He says he's hungry."

What a stupid reason. "Oh, alright. Give me a few minutes. I'll be right down."

"Okay." Zuko left.

What a dream.

What a horrible dream. What would bring on such a terrible dream? What was I thinking about that made me so receptive to such inappropriate dreams?What had happened before I went to bed?

That's when it hit me. The events of last night. My first dream. Zuko. Oh no! What would Zuko think of me now? Being so immature, so weak?Needing him to sleep in my room; what kind of girl was I? What kind of girl did he think I was? And that dream! That appalling dream. What would he think of me if he ever found out about that dream? Just because I liked him and he sort of liked me didn't mean we were going to be playing truth or dare in the storage room anytime soon. It didn't mean we loved each other. It didn't mean we would ever kiss each other.

Maybe I was just remembering the dream wrong. Maybe it never even happened. I wouldn't think about it. I wouldn't remember it.

Bedhead: I think this chapter turned out really well. Besides the fact that you, Squaw, completely gutted the first half of the chapter...more like the first two-thirds...it ended nicely. And both of us do realize that the truth-or-dare thing is extremely ooc, so no need to point it out, but it was a dream. And anything can happen in a dream.

Squaw: I made some minor changes. Basically I just toned it down a little. That's not gutting.

Bedhead: Yeah, but I had to remove entire paragraphs of stuff I really, really loved. That's called gutting.

Squaw: I say you can use it in another story.

Bedhead: Oh no; you wait and see. I'll weasel it all back into this story somehow; you'll see...you'll all see...snickers evily By the way, next chapter update will be on Friday. However, if we haven't gotten five reviews by Friday, we're not updating. And in the mean time, check out The Sun Sets in the West. It just got updated so there's three chapters now...it will be updated again on Friday, too...

Squaw: So did you guys like the first half better or the second half?

Bedhead: Actually, the first "half" went all the way to the beginning of the second dream, and I wrote all of that. Then the second "half" was Squaw's. So who's was cooler - the first half or the second? Please review and let us know!

Squaw: cough

Bedhead: Wow. Insightful. Anyway, REVIEW!! FIVE REVIEWS BY FRIDAY OR NO UPDATE!! :)