It had taken over a week before the sedatives were finally out of CJs system and she was able to stay awake for more than five minutes at a time. Each day Houston was by her side as soon as dawn was breaking, anxious to see her and to be with her, and every night he stayed until the nurses forced him to leave. He had noticed all the changes in CJ during the first week, from her being barely able to finish a sentence to now chatting to him and complaining about being forced to lie flat and still….! She was awake nearly all morning now, dozing just before lunch and another nap early evening, and today another milestone, she had eaten solid food, albeit mashed potatoes with melted cheese, but it was a massive step for her as the previous attempt at eating two spoonfuls of ice cream had seen her stomach rebel and Houston had watched with his heart in his throat as she had choked and retched for several minutes until the nurses were able to help her. Since then there had been no major scares or set backs, and the tests that the doctors kept running seemed to indicate that CJ had suffered no long term damage from her head injury and that her neck fracture had knitted together well, she had sensation in her legs and arms and could wriggle her toes and fingers easily, they were still keeping her in a full cast and she was lying flat in her bed, only being raised a fraction each day as part of the tests and earlier today when she had tried to eat.
Houston knew everyone was happy with how she was progressing, everyone commented on how well she was coping and how cheerful she seemed when they visited, but Pip and Houston were with her the most, they were with her when she woke crying for her husband, when she wished that she had died instead of him or with him, they were there when she refused the pain relief the nurses brought claiming that the she deserved to hurt, that she had killed Stephen. The doctors had said no permanent damage, well maybe not physically, but as Houston sat here holding her hand and watching the tears slide down her face as she woke from her nap, he knew CJ was damaged, and in a way beyond normal medicine!
"Hey cowboy!" she sniffed as she gripped on his hand, "you still here?"
"No place else to be right now!" he grinned at her as he leaned forward so she could see him more clearly. "How you feelin' honey?"
"Oh, ya know…had better days!" she gave him a wry smile, it faded as he reached over to wipe away her tears. "Sorry Houston, you must be getting fed up of doing that huh?"
He gave a soft chuckle. "Nope, in fact I like looking after you"
"Yeah? Well from what the doctor was saying I have a long recovery ahead of me so you may regret saying that!"
"Never…I'll never get tired of looking after you, ya know that Slick, right?"
She frowned a fraction, swallowing lightly before asking. "So you're really gonna stick with me through this Houston?"
"All the way hun, every step of the way" He brought his other hand over to grip hers and rubbed at her palm, "you don't get rid of me that easily!"
She gave a soft laugh. "And yet I seem to normally do so well at getting rid of the men in my life, especially the ones I care about, that I love! First my dad, then Carl…even Robert left me in his own way, and now…now Stephen. I'm not sure you should stick around big guy…I'm not safe, I'm cursed!"
"Nooo, no CJ! You're not cursed…you're just…"
"What Houston? Hmm? Unlucky? People who lose their credit cards, or their purse, they're unlucky. People who get a flat tire or caught speeding, or who get hit by another idiot on the road…unlucky! People who have their partners cheat on them, or watch as their friends marry the person you love, unlucky! People who never find love…UNLUCKY, all unlucky! Me? Well, now…I've been shot 3 times, kidnapped a few times, run of the road by Laurel and Hardy…oh yeah, and been injured in a bomb that blew my husband to bits…yeah Houston, you're right, not cursed…unlucky, that's it!"
"CJ" he sighed as he kissed the back of her hand, "calm down now huh. You know it isn't good for you to get upset…"
"Good for me? Ha! Houston…come on! Look at me! I got a hole in my head where they drilled into it, I've got pins holding my neck in place and I can't move cos I'm in a full body cast, underneath the cast there is enough stitches to make a quilt…I'm Frankensteins wife! Why would it matter if I get upset! What's the worst that could happen?"
"You could end up stuck in that hospital bed for good and if you stress out too much you could get your brain to pop like a big old piece of popcorn and leave you in a vegetative state so the only thing you'd be fit for , counsellor, is a stint as draught excluder in my swanky new LA Penthouse!" Both Houston and CJ looked at the door as Pip walked further in and added, "Then again, you may clash with my décor!"
"Thanks!" CJ chuckled, "and not what I was expecting anyone to say!"
Pip grinned as she sat down on the opposite side to Houston. "Not PC? Sorry…but to be fair you did ask what's the worst that could happen, I just gave you one example…I could give you several more if you like…anything to stop you whining!"
CJs eyes bugged slightly. "Pardon me? Whining!?"
"Yeah! Whining….poor me, my neck hurts, my head hurts, I got stitches…get a grip woman…you're alive, and THAT'S the most important thing, ok?"
CJ nodded slowly, then with a small smirk muttered. "At least you didn't tell me to stop whining about Stephen!"
Pip shot her a quick look and saw the smirk. "I'll allow you that…for now!"
Houston hadn't realised that his eyebrows were raised until he relaxed and looked back at CJ, seeing her genuine smile he took a deep breath and smiled himself. "Well hi Pip…and how are you today?" he chuckled
"I, Mr Houston, am just fine thank you…in fact, I'm bloody marvellous!" she gave him a wide smile and winked
"Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain Italian detective would it?" Houston asked wriggling his eyebrows a fraction
"As a matter of fact…yes. Although, it isn't just the incredible hot sex that has me feeling so happy" she paused as CJ gave a startled gasp, "oh sorry CJ, but he is HOT…wowser hot! Uhm…but no, I'm feeling marvellous because I have news…important news!"
Houston leaned forward and tilted his head waiting, then prompted her with a "So…what's the news?"
"I'm waiting for Mac, he needs to…" Pip was interrupted as Mac came bustling through the door on cue
"Sorry, there was a wait for coffee. Houston, brought you one to…sorry CJ, Pip says coffee is out for you!" he gave an apologetic shrug as he sat down on the chair next to Pip
"It's ok" CJ said as she noticed the way he had automatically rested his hand on Pips knee. Whatever the news is, it's big, she thought…he is calming her down
But Houston was inpatient. "Pip says you have some news…so?"
Mac looked briefly at Pip for reassurance then leaned forward as he spoke. "I have good news and bad news…"
"Why don't you just tell us the highlights!" CJ said as she saw the way he was fidgeting
"Ok, well…Pip got a break from her friends in Scotland Yard…we did a bit of digging, and …well…the woman who was shot in Houstons office…WAS Elizabeth Sheridan!"
"WHAT?" Houston nearly stood up but felt CJs fingers tighten in his hand so stopped to look at her then sat down and asked quietly. "But I thought the dental records proved it wasn't my wife, now you say it was?"
"Well, yes…and no" Pip said softly before looking at Mac and urging him to go
"The victim was Elizabeth Sheridan, the real Elizabeth Sheridan…the woman you married, who called herself Elizabeth…well her name is Hilary Kettering, the half sister of one Malcolm Kettering!"
"Oh my GOD!" gasped CJ
Houston just closed his eyes and sat back taking in two steadying breaths before asking. "Wanna tell me the rest of it?"
Pip sighed before she took over the story. "It seems Elizabeth Sheridan, the uh real one, found out her late fathers business associates were using her company to launder some serious money…they had police and politicians on their payroll and the corruption affected some big companies and some major players in the international political world…so, she decided to turn states witness…brought the whole thing tumbling down…then went into the witness protection scheme and disappeared. That was my tip, an old colleague of mine recognised her name when he was chatting to my old partner about, well Steve, and why I was in America…lucky break, he had been part of the task force sent out to investigate…he went back to look at the case papers I had sent…and spotted straight away who was in the wedding photos with you Houston! Anyway, seems when Elizabeth went to the authorities her cousin, dear old Malcolm, genuinely didn't know anything about it…his own little crime syndicate hadn't been part of the investigation…but he needed Elizabeth to co-sign loans and keep his legitimate business looking safe…nobody really knew what Elizabeth looked like as she had travelled for years before coming back to take over the ropes when her dad died, they just knew she had red frizzy hair and was slim and pale…enter look-a-like cousin Hilary who doted on big brother and loved having Elizabeths credit cards! He thought Elizabeth had been bumped off, so it suited him to bring in Hilary…then when she married you..banzai, doppelganger fully accepted in society!"
"So, I was married …to Hilary?" Houston asked slowly
"Kind of…well…no!" Pip saw his shocked look and quickly explained "Hilary was already married, to Malcolms right hand man… Olivier Passeau, he is an explosives expert!"
Houston glanced at CJ then at Pip and Mac. Mac gave a small nod before saying. "The guy who rigged your car Houston. We got him! That's the good news!" He paused as he saw Houston taking it all in, then said, "the night you staked out the dock and got Kettering , well, you went in the van right? So…he sneaked in and rigged your car that night, lucky break for him and ironic that he had no clue you weren't in the office but out arresting his boss! But Kettering was taunting you as he knew Olivier was rigging it that night, knew what would happen even if he was in jail and didn't see it!"
"Wow!" breathed CJ, "but Kettering didn't know Houston was on to him, so why the hit? And what was the real Elizabeth doing in LA? " she asked suddenly
Pip rubbed at the back of her neck and sighed. "Hilary!" she said and gave a small shake of her head. "She wasn't playing with a full deck as they say! Elizabeth saw some old magazines whilst enjoying her comfy new life in Spain…saw the report on millionaire Matt Houston and his happy bride! She recognised Hilary of course…and knew her past…she had been sectioned twice since her teens! Elizabeth felt bad for you Houston, and worried for her cousin…so she tried to find out what was going on…she made her own way to LA to warn you, explain the situation…but Hilary was staking out your office, seems she really loved you and was determined to have you back…even if it meant killing!"
"You seem to have that affect on woman cowboy!" CJ muttered, "remember your adventure with Erin Brown?"
Houston shook his head sadly and looked back at a puzzled Pip. "So Elizabeth came to my office…and Hilary was waiting, just bad luck?"
"She was waiting for CJ…the woman who she thought you were having an affair with, who she blamed for ruining her marriage to you!" Pip told him as he gripped CJs hand and looked at her. "When it was Elizabeth who got off the elevator, she killed her and decided to frame you for murder instead. She rang Malcolm to say what she had done, he knew Lowell from a previous case and knew he was keen…and reckless…so set the ball in motion to have you blamed! He planned to get Hilary out of the country and get more planted evidence on you to make the charges stick…"
"But…?" Houston asked
"But we showed up right?" CJ asked quietly
"Uh huh!" Mac cut in, "and you wiped the floor with Lowell, and asked too many questions for it to be a straight forward investigation…Kettering didn't have time to plant any more evidence…and then Hilary broke free of him. She only rang him when she heard Houston wasn't being charged with murder…she put the hit on you Houston, you and CJ. Kettering did as she asked on the agreement she would come back to him so he could...look after her…"
"I'm guessing that didn't happen?" CJ asked again as she looked quickly at a stunned Houston
Pip chuckled. "No…believe it or not Hilary walked into a downtown LAPD and handed herself over last night! She'd heard about Malcolms arrest…she knows who his associates are…and thinks she would be safer in jail than trying to fend for herself. She told us everything Houston, every last detail. She was almost proud! We picked up Olivier at a small airstrip in San Fernando…we got Ketterings log books…we got his list of contacts in high places and we got his bank accounts…it's over, we got the bad guys for you!"
Houston gave a small smile and kissed the back of CJs hand before pausing and asking. "You said good news…and bad news…what's the bad?"
Mac shifted in his chair. "Hilary…she was seen by psych…she aint fit to stand trial, and although she killed Elizabeth she isn't gonna do time on the grounds of diminished responsibility"
"And the bomb? She ordered the hit…she killed Stephen" CJ gasped
Pip nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she looked at the floor before whispering "She won't stand trial CJ. She will be sectioned, and then she will go into witness protection…she walks away!"
CJ stared at her, her eyes wide as she waited for Pip to add more, anything more that would tell her justice would be served. But Pip looked back and slowly shook her head. "No!" cried CJ, "no! She killed him, and she walks away? No!"
Pip looked up at the ceiling and wrapped her arms more closely around herself as she bit her lip. She knew how CJ felt, she wanted Hilary to pay, but the woman was crazy, and it wouldn't bring Stephen back. "This is as close to justice as we get CJ" she whispered, "It's not good…"
"It's not enough!" CJ hissed
"But it's all we get!" Pip said quietly before looking at Mac and Houston and silently asking them to leave her and CJ alone
As the two men closed the door behind them Pip whispered to CJ "Listen to me, CJ, listen. I went to the precinct with Mac, I wanted to see her, hear what she had to say…CJ, she barely knows her own name! She has no real idea of what she has done, of how much pain she has caused, she doesn't see things that way. Ask yourself this…if you force the issue and have her sent to jail…will it stop Elizabeth dying? Will it stop them planting the bomb? Will it stop you getting hurt or make you heal any faster? And…will it…will it being Stephen back?"
CJ was breathing heavily and was gripping the cot sides. "She killed him Pip, how can you let her walk away? How can you not want her to pay for what she has done?"
Pip sighed and took CJs hand. "If I thought it would have any impact, if I thought she knew why she was on trial…but CJ, she told the cops her name was CJ Houston, and Hilary was just a nickname…she said she asked for the bomb to be planted to blow up Houston and kill him so he would come back to her having learned his lesson…she walked into that precinct and confessed everything as if she was getting an award, then asked the detective if he was ordering pizza for lunch and when Houston was coming to take her home!"
CJ looked sideways at her and asked. "Is she really getting sectioned?"
"Yes!" Pip replied quickly, "sectioned and treated. She will be in a secure unit for years…"
"But then out in witness protection? Free?"
Pip thought for a second or two. "Truthfully, the way she was today…I don't think she will ever taste freedom again!"
"It's still not justice" CJ closed her eyes and turned her head away to face the wall
Pip sat and watched her for a little while, then suddenly leaned forward and yelled slightly. "Look at me CJ. CJ Parsons Waldon-Combs, look at me!" She nodded as CJ turned to face her. "I guess this is what some people would call tough love, me…I call it the brutal truth…Stephen is dead, you're not!"
"What? How dare you..!" CJ started to splutter but Pip held her hand up to silence her
"CJ, I know that sounds harsh, and I don't mean to hurt you…but I don't want you doing what I did either. When Mark died...when he…he was killed…I was so, angry! His death was so unnecessary, so…so…needless. I wanted answers, I wanted to know why him, when he was due home so soon, we hadn't even been married a year and he was gone…why him, and not someone else! I knew there were no real answers, it's war…so I turned my anger on the people who had made our life difficult, said we were too young…told us not to marry. I argued with my mum and dad, with my friends…with Stephen when he tried to broker peace…but while I held on to the anger…it kept the pain away"
"There a point to this?" CJ asked quietly
"There's a point. For a while I lost myself, lost who I was, I focused everything on the few months we had together and I wouldn't let anyone talk to me about him in case they chipped away at my memories. I looked at his photo every day, slept with it on my pillow…held on to my grief as I believed it meant I could hold onto him that way! I pushed everyone away so I could focus on my own pain at losing him. Don't hold on to the bad CJ, it destroys SO much. Distorts your memories of the good times you were together, chips away at you until every time you think of Stephen it will be the anger you'll feel, the bitterness…not the love. And you and Stephen had so much love, you can't lose it! He…he wouldn't want you to do that, he wouldn't want you to lose yourself…he would want you to be happy, to carry on." Pip paused and took a deep breath. "It was Marks mum who finally started to get me back on my feet, she told me about the tapestry of the soul"
CJ narrowed her eyes at her and asked softly, "The what?"
Pip smiled a fraction and explained. "She saidd that if you look at your soul as a tapestry of your life, every thread and stitch is made by each and every step you take through life, and every person in your life is a different coloured thread weaving in, and sometimes out of your tapestry…cutting a great colourful path through your life…or maybe just a few small stitches but at a point that holds the whole thread together"
CJ shook her head a fraction and said "I'm sorry, maybe it's the drugs I'm on but…I don't get it!"
With a sigh Pip tried again. "Stephen will never leave you, he is woven into your tapestry of the soul forever…who you are and who you will become will always carry that with you…you will always have him with you do you see? So you don't get to stop your life, you don't need to hide yourself away and stop living in order to hold on to his memory. You don't need to change who you are and you don't need to stop having fun and enjoying life because you think it is some sort of betrayal that as a widow you must be sad and miserable to show the world how much you cared, the only one who needed to know that was Stephen, and he knew CJ, he knew! Your tapestry is far from complete…there is still so much out there for you to do. Once you get back on your feet, literally in this case, then you keep walking forward CJ and don't let the grief you feel now hold you back, and don't lose yourself in it all…laugh, live…and love…he would want that for you to"
CJ felt her head begin to ache. She knew what Pip was trying to say but it was all too much, too soon, so instead she gave a small smile and muttered. "Well from what I've seen in the time I've known you, you certainly laugh, live and uhm, love with the best if them!"
Pip knew it was a diversion, and knew that she had sais enough, for now, so went along with the joke. "Hey, I had some catching up to do…I married my first real boyfriend…so I just went a little wild, a belated teenage rampage if you like!"
"Your first REAL boyfriend? So you were…ah, on your wedding night you were a …uh"
Pip laughed. "No…not on my wedding night…but yes, Mark was my first, if that's what you're asking!
"But definitely not your last!" CJ chuckled
"Like I said, I had some catching up to do!"
"Catching up and overtaking!"
"I'm pretty sure if you and I compared noted we wouldn't be that far apart Lady!" Pip said with a raised eyebrow causing CJ to laugh out loud before wincing at the slight stabbing pain that followed. "Sorry!" Pip said sheepishly
"It s'ok…and, you're probably right! Though, that was from the days of my mis-spent youth, not quite as wild as I used to be!"
Pip nodded. "Me neither, think my wild days are…almost behind me. Know it seems strange, but…well Mac, it is different, he is…well he is like my friend as much as my lover !"
CJ raised her eyebrow and laughed as she said "And as the sex is red hot he must be an amazing friend!"
Pip smiled back and then slowly asked "Amazing friends can make amazing lovers…given the chance…don't you think?"
CJ just looked at her, then smiled back and replied. "Yes, if given the chance, maybe they do!"
Before either of them could say anything else Mac and Houston came bundling back through the door, with Houston grinning ear to ear. "Contraband CJ!" he laughed as he same back to sit next to her and brought out a plastic cup, containing a caramel frappe…one of CJs favourite drinks. With a wink he produced a straw, and chuckled as Pip tutted loudly. "Just a few sips hun, see how it goes yeah?" he said softly as he brought the cup nearer to her and held the straw to her lips.
CJ sighed in delight as she took her tentative first sip, waiting a few seconds before taking another, and another, frowning as Houston said "Woah hun…let's take it easy…put it to one side for now hey? If it stays put then have some more with dinner yeah? "She looked at his caring brown eyes and nodded, whispering her thanks in a way he knew how much she meant it from the heart
Mac coughed politely as if sensing he was cutting in to a moment. "Sorry CJ, but Pip and I have to go, we said we would help Lt Hoyt with a stakeout"
"Pip is helping Hoyt?" Houston gasped
"Ex Scotland Yard Matt, why wouldn't he want my help? Pip grinned as she stood and kissed CJs cheek before heading for the door. "See you later maybe?"
CJ looked quickly at Houston before saying "Neh, see you tomorrow…I wouldn't wanna interrupt your, uhm, catching up sessions!"
"And I guess it gives you some more time to be with your amazing friend, give you the chance to talk about…well!"
Houston looked puzzled as CJ chuckled softly and wiggled her fingers as a way of waving Pip out of the room…as Mac went to close the door behind them he leaned back and said "Goodnight you two, behave!"
"You to Mac," called CJ, "bit not too much!"
Houston scratched his head a fraction and muttered. "I get the feeling I'm missing something"
CJ just smiled at him and reached for his hand. They stared at each other for several seconds, Matt felt his heart beat quicken. He could see CJ wanted to say something, saw her hesitate, look away a fraction before looking back at him and whispering. "Can I have some more coffee?"
