Two more chapters left for this story, all written and ready to be beta-ed.
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Disclaimer: I only own my twisted imagination :P
Blackout
12
Teresa glanced at her alarm clock on the night-desk. She sighed and let herself fall back on her bed. In a little less than an hour, Patrick would pick her up for a serious conversation. He had promised to tell her his side of the story, and she felt ready to listen. This would, she believed, either end their relationship or strengthen it.
The pepper spray was still in her bag, but also a condom. While she knew he probably still had some in his bathroom, she just wanted to make sure... who knew where this could lead them? she thought with a blush. After all, given the kiss they had shared the previous day, she was still pretty much under his charms.
"Hey Teresa?"
Tommy was staring at her from the entrance of her bedroom, a hesitant expression on his face. She straightened up and waited for him to ask his question.
"You're going back with Patrick, right?"
Lisbon nodded.
"We are going to straighten things out for the moment."
"Okay, just wanted to make sure." he hesitated before adding: "If you make up... you... could you slide a word about my... uh... problem?"
The young woman suddenly had to repress the urge to laugh.
"Sure." Someone rang at the door. "I'll go get the door."
Much to her surprise, Jane was standing there, hands in his pockets. He looked better than the previous day -had shaved, cleaned up, but he still hadn't regained the cheerful glint he use to possess when they were dating. Lisbon felt the pit of guilt in her stomach again, but forced herself to get over it. He still hadn't told her anything.
"I want to get this over with" Jane blurted before she could greet him. "Figured you'd be thinking hard, so might as well end it sooner than later" he added with an apologetic smile.
While she knew she should have been annoyed, Teresa actually felt relieved. Waiting another hour? She would have just banged her head against the wall way before he arrived. Or called him to make him hurry up. She picked up her stuff and, after a quick goodbye to her brothers, followed him to his car. The trip to his apartment was silent but not uncomfortable. They didn't need to talk, and Lisbon wasn't in the mood for chitchat. They parked, went up the stairs and he closed the door.
"Take a seat" he ordered softly. "I'll get us something to drink."
Lisbon obeyed and let herself fall on the couch. A quick glance around her confirmed that Jane had done some major cleaning between the time she left yesterday and today. The room smelt fresh and clean and the windows had been opened to chase the stuffy scent. No more clothes were lying on the ground, nor were the dust balls she had spotted in corners.
"I feel bad you saw that... scenery yesterday."
The young woman glanced over her shoulder. Jane was there with two glasses. He put them on the table before sitting next to her and started bluntly:
"I suppose Angie told you I shot her fiancé out of the blue after stalking them for a while." Lisbon nodded. "It's part true. I had my reasons though."
She leaned back in the couch, crossed her arms and stared at him straight in the eyes. Just like him, she wanted to be done with this story. While a hint of uneasiness kept her on guard, Lisbon knew he deserved to be given a chance to explain himself.
"I'm listening" she said. Jane smiled tightly before breathing deeply.
"Angie met the guy at college –his name was Barthelemy Thomson, one of her teachers. She immediately fell for him and he reciprocated her feelings. In a matter of months, they started dating, she spoke of moving in with him, and they got engaged. At first, I thought he was playing her, because their decision to move in together and all? Way too fast in my opinion. I never believed in love at first sight, so I followed them, to figure out if he was hiding something." He snorted. "God, had I known how things would turn out, I would have called the police immediately instead of trying to sort it out by myself."
Lisbon waited patiently for him to continue.
"Barthelemy was a serial killer."
She stared blankly at him. What?
"I found proof in his bedroom" Jane continued. "In a hideout, in his mattress. Hair and pictures of the dead victims, and that guy could have not collected those with the police, those were too personal." The color in his eyes shifted to a deeper blue, the kind that appeared when he was anxious. "I tried to warn her. I wanted to show her the stuff, but that guy made it all disappear. I guess he suspected I was after him, so I tailed him to find more evidence. That bastard made it look like I was a complete stalker -although I admit my behavior was stalk-ish" he added with a tight smile. "Then one day, I finally realized this was way too big for me and went to the police. Naturally, having no proof at hand, no-one believed me" he muttered, staring at his hands. "Only one guy decided he'd give me a chance... he had been following that case for a while, and would have tried anything to solve it. We tried to work out on ways to pin him, and coincidentally, Barthelemy perfectly chose his timing to set things straight with me. He decided, after notifying Angela about it, that he and I would have a little chat about my... attitude and dragged me to a coffee shop." Jane paused and hesitated before adding: "I swear, it's freaking creepy to hear a serial talking about his previous killings and at the same time, claiming he really fell for my big sister... Anyway, I managed to elude him in the bathroom and called Minelli to the rescue..."
"Wait" Lisbon cut, frowning. "Isn't that the name of your boss? Minelli I mean."
Jane smirked and nodded.
"First 'case' I ever 'worked' with him. That guy was -and still is- brilliant. He managed to arrive in record time, slip a gun and a microphone in the bathroom without Barthelemy noticing and when I got back to the table, I had backup waiting to intervene. Unfortunately" he added with a grimace, "It boosted my confidence, and that bastard felt it. I still managed to trick him into confessing his murders once again, but when he figured out what was going on..."
The young man shut his mouth and tightened his fists. His breathing rhythm became slower as he revived those moments.
"He was going to draw his weapon, I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to kill me before..." His voice dissipated and he clenched his jaw. Lisbon held her breath. She had never seen him so tense before. "I... I had to shot first. I tried to aim at the shoulder, to disarm him y'know. I didn't want to kill him."
His fingers were twisting nervously. Lisbon kept quiet, waited for him to continue, sensing he was not quite done yet.
"But I did. You have no idea how it feels to pull the trigger on someone. Everything turned red and for a moment, I couldn't... move. I think I even blacked out a few seconds. Minelli and the others never blamed me. Said that was the right thing to do." The young man paused. "I was fifteen, Teresa. I shot a man and killed him. I was not really... stable afterward. The police told my family I had been brave, all sorts of crap but all they saw in me was a murderer and for some reason they never believed that creep had been a serial killer. Mom, Roger and Danny didn't really want to speak to me and Angela never forgave me. She was the only one holding me back there, so I ran away. Took a few jobs to survive, gambled... I even went on drugs once, turned into a dealer for a few months." Lisbon tensed at his words. He replied to her reaction with a tight smile: "It was a few months thing. I needed something to make money out of. I quit before getting in too deep, turned to alcohol instead. Until Grace found me passed out next to a dumpster in her street."
The young woman remembered the expression on the redhead's face the previous day. That was why she was so upset... Jane went on, not even noticing her pause:
"She helped me go through my problems, kept checking and pester me, and I had no choice but to get better. Got back in contact with Minelli, to get a temporary job to get a new apartment. Ended up staying there because they found out I was good at picking up details. Then I found that second job at the casino, signed as a part-time dealer. Tired to make up with Angela... hence why I have a few of her old clothes stored in my closet" He glanced at her hesitantly, before adding: "I was a bit of a loner back then. Didn't really have friends, aside from Grace and her friends. I didn't even felt the need to make some. The only girls I had were one-night stands in dance clubs and such. But then I met you."
Lisbon bit her lower lip and looked away. The way he was staring at her now made her feel uncomfortable.
"When I saw you at the bar, I just thought you were just another of those girls, wanting to get loose, get laid and start anew the next day." The dark-haired winced at the memory. "But then I looked into your eyes and felt you were different. I couldn't... bring you to a hotel and behave like you were just another random laid."
"So you brought me to your apartment. How considerate of you" she cut sarcastically and glared at him. Jane grinned at her lecherously.
"Believe it or not, but I had no idea you were a virgin until I pinned you to the bed and..."
"I think we have more important matters to deal with right now" Lisbon interrupted again, blushing as flashbacks teased her memory. The young man shrugged.
"As you wish my dear. Where was I anyway? Ah yeah, our first lovemaking." His lover threw him a warning glance. "Teresa, you might think I'm just joking around, but I am serious." Every trace of amusement had deserted his eyes now. "You changed me. I can't think of anyone else I had ever wanted to make love to; or just spend time with." His fingers tentatively reached her forearm and he brushed her skin, barely touching. "I cared Teresa, and because I cared I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to scare you off. It was like... an instinct. I knew if I told you too early what I have done, you'd back off. You're the best thing that happened to me in a while and..." he whispered the last words: "I didn't want to lose you."
There was an instant of silence, and Jane spoke again:
"I told myself that I had to prepare to this eventually. That you might run away again, and that I'd have to accept it." His tone was so low she had to concentrate to hear him speak: "But I... I can't."
He looked at her. Really looked at her, and she saw it. The worry. Lisbon closed her eyes. She didn't want to be influenced by these blue orbs, she needed some time to gather her own thoughts. At first, Angela's tale had made perfect sense. Then, with Jane's added details, she was starting to get the bigger picture. If she took his word, he just wanted to protect his sister. And according to Angela, he was just plain jealous. Perhaps it was a bit of both that drove the young man to follow his hunch and reach such extreme measures. But then, why not contact the police directly, or tell his parents? She asked him the reason.
"My parents wouldn't have believed me" he replied nonchalantly. "They thought I was just hanging after my sister, like I always did. And I thought in my stupid fifteen years-old mind I could solve the problem myself."
"Angela said you had a difficult childhood, and understated your parents weren't very tender with you." Lisbon paused and frowned: "Wait, didn't you mention your step-father abused you?"
The young man's lips formed a thin line and he looked away.
"He didn't really like me."
"But did he mistreat Angela? Or your other brother?"
Jane stared hard at the coffee table. She could see a thin vein forming in his neck, indicating a rise of anger.
"Oh certainly not" he hissed. "I wasn't his kid, so he didn't give a damn. Roger was just kind enough to adopt me so..." He closed his eyes and whispered: "My father's a carnie, Teresa. I spoke to him once, only an hour, and I knew what sort of man he was. Believe me, I was better off with Roger. Can we" his voice had an urgent edge "talk about this another time?"
Lisbon nodded in understanding. Although she had a feeling his attachment to Angela had something to do with the way he was treated as a child, she wouldn't push the matter now. The little she had learn about Patrick during their relationship was that he didn't talk about himself much. That he had agreed to open up a little to her... he mustn't have been lying when he said he cared.
"So, what's the verdict?" the young man asked nervously. The dark-haired glanced at him and bit her lower lip.
He had been the first boyfriend treating her with a hint of respect -in spite of the circumstances of their meeting. In fact, he had been nothing but tender and -very- affectionate towards her. He had never shown aggression towards her, or underestimated her, or made sarcastic comments about her according to his friends. A few months with him had confirmed that while he may not talk about himself or his past often, he was not the kind of fellow to hide his feelings; especially antipathy. On her side, she liked hanging out with him. As she had first said to Bosco, Jane was an interesting character, smart and funny. Plus, she thought with an inside grin, he was awesome in bed. She really liked him, but he had issues -bigger than hers. Could she handle someone like him?
The young woman swallowed hard and made up her mind.
"Maybe you're right. We should start anew."
Patrick stared at her in puzzlement. She bit her lower lip before adding softly:
"Everything went so fast after that first night. We started sleeping together, then dating-sleeping without really taking the time to know each other. I think we forgot the essential. Had I known you better and if I wasn't a bit scared of you, I don't think I would have ran immediately without leaving you a chance to hear your side of the story."
The young man stared at her in disbelief.
"You're scared of me?"
Out of all things, that was the one thing he was shocked by? The young woman shrugged.
"Of you, of how I act around you. I can barely recognise myself."
"I would never take advantage of you" Patrick protested. She raised a brow; he winced and admitted: "Okay, there were a few times."
In spite of herself, Lisbon chuckled at his embarrassed face.
"I never exactly protested" she added, shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch. "But I do think we should start again, slower. I want to know you fully and I want you to know me... Then we can decide if this is worth a shot."
"I guess I can live with that" Patrick whispered after a while. "I have one condition too though. If something bothers you, ask to me straightforward. Don't… I don't want to lose you because I… I didn't talk."
She caught his chin and, pulling back, lifted his face so he could meet her eyes. Those blue green orbs were so translucent. She couldn't leave him now, not when he was acting so vulnerable. That would definitively be a huge blow. Her lips brushed his gently. He deserved another chance. They deserved another chance.
"Same goes with me, all right?" Lisbon said, trying to sound more assured than she felt. His face lightened immediately at her words, and a beautiful, genuine smile grew on his face. And then, she knew she had made the right decision.
-B-
Jane stood in front of Minelli's office and breathed in deeply. None of the other teams had arrived yet, and he wanted a word with his boss. The young man knocked at the door and waited for the response.
"Come in."
He entered without waiting a second more and couldn't help the little smirk at Minelli's stunned expression -he never knocked.
"Jane? What... never mind. Sit there, I was going to call you."
The blond man obeyed and crossed his legs.
"Before you start speaking" he said, not waiting for the older man to open his mouth. "I'd like to apologize for my behavior. I had been extremely rude to the team and disdainful towards potential criminals and the victims. That won't happen again."
Minelli snorted in disbelief, and Jane grinned:
"Well, it will happen less. That is if I still have my job. Or did Bosco manage to kick me out while I was on leave?"
The older man grunted.
"He started going through procedure, and seriously Jane, a lot of people want you out; especially since your last mess. The Senator was not happy."
"I still caught the murderer."
"That won't always save your ass young lad! You were lucky he didn't come after you."
"Oh no worries, I let him know his dark little secret is safe as long as he stays put. He may not be a drug dealer, but he sure was cheating on his wife with his secretary."
Minelli blinked.
"But his secretary is a man" he pointed out.
Jane shrugged.
"Mister Johnson wouldn't be the first one to hide his true sexual orientation for fear of scandal. Parents were conservative I suppose..."
Minelli sighed deeply.
"Do you really have to notice all these little details?"
"That's what you pay me for, sir" the young man replied with a grin. "It's not like I can turn it off at will."
"Remind me how your girlfriend puts up with you?" the older man asked, before shutting his mouth and looking apologetic. Jane's smile tightened, but did not falter.
"It's okay sir, we're on good terms. And we breaking up had nothing to do with my charming personality. As a matter of fact, I came to warn you that she knows about that case now. But she won't breathe a word."
Minelli stiffened and Patrick understood him. At the time, the young man was a minor, so no name had been included in the report. If the story happened to be known around the office though...No-one knew exactly how the older man had come to know him. No-one knew why he had hired him. If it came to light he was just using his authority as the head of CBI to do him a favor...
"Who told her?"
"Angie. But I've taken care of that too." he assured. "She's heading back to Florida. Just wanted to check if my life was still unstable."
Minelli grumbled something and shook his head.
"That woman has never been really stable herself, Patrick."
Jane's face turned blank.
"I stole her fiancé from her. Even though he was a bastard, she sees me like the one who destroyed her life. Can't blame her for hating my guts y'know. Anyway" he said on a more firm tone. "Do I still have my job?"
The older man leaned back on his chair and sighed.
"You're due to return Monday morning. But I swear Jane, one wrong slip and..."
"Don't worry boss" the young man teased. "Things are getting better in my personal life. I will make efforts to be more considerate."
"You really need to learn to separate your personal and professional life" Minelli grumbled. Jane smiled apologetically.
"I never had that problem before, because I didn't care about others. Teresa... she's special. I don't want to let her go" he added in a whisper.
The older man shifted uncomfortably on his seat.
"Shouldn't you talk about this with your friends instead of your boss?"
Jane tilted his head on the side, as if thinking deeply, before muttering:
"That a very good idea Virgil. Actually, an excellent one. I haven't thought of it before."
"Are you mocking me?"
"Never would dream of it." he replied with a grin.
The older man groaned, but as Jane left the room, he allowed an amused smirk to grow on his face. Despite the rumors in the corridors, Minelli never regretted his decision of keeping him around. That kid was smart, damn good at his job, and a real entertainer. If only he stopped trying to cross the line...
For reminders, Angela was older than Jane when the whole thing happened.
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And thank you for reading so far!
