Author's Notes: It's summer now, but we're still in fall. The fall chapters of Four Seasons that is. Sorry for the wait, (those that have been waiting), but it's been a very busy season for me and its going to get busier this fall 2009 Well, as a special present I have a new chapter for you guys. I can't promise new chapters for FS and my other series, or even a new fan fiction, at the rate I'm going though. But I will make an effort, and I will update something so don't despair. It's just that my muse is on vacation and it seems I've caught a case of the dreaded writers block.
Anyway, this chapter focuses on Rin. Usually Rin goes along with Sesshoumaru shacking up with (living with) Kikyou (or any of the other girls in Inuyasha) in fan fiction. Let's see how she adjusts to Kikyou. ;)
(Also, don't put up questions in a review that have been addressed in an Author's Note)
Plus, I don't own Inuyasha. It's been awhile since I've written a disclaimer so I might as well remind the legal powers that exist. I am making no money off of this and I am not the creator or animater or script writer for either the manga, anime, or whatever else that has "Inuyasha" on it. So don't sue me or expect perfection.
Four Seasons: Fall – Chapter 3
When Rin had first
seen Kikyou, she had saved her life from a demon. Back then, seeing
Sesshoumaru and Kikyou together had meant nothing, not to any of
them. It was merely a meeting of two people with similar dispositions
,and for Rin it was the possibility to talk to someone that was also
a girl and to hopefully make a new friend.
Rin had never been
lonely with Sesshoumaru, because with him loneliness did not exist.
Rin had never been scared with Sesshoumaru, because he protected her and never hurt her.
Rin had never been sad with Sesshoumaru, because Sesshoumaru protected her from the feeling of sadness. She could no longer remember her parents and in her eyes Sesshoumaru would never die or be hurt, and in some ways she was right. He was immortal and her hero. But he did occasionally get hurt.
And linked together like this, it was only natural for Rin to think that she was special to him. Which she was. Only she could make him smile (well, almost) and only she, a human, was allowed by his side.
Jaken,
Sesshoumaru, and her—it was only natural to think it was forever.
But on that day when she met Kikyou again, in the rain, and saw
Sesshoumaru and Kikyou together, something changed. Kikyou and
Sesshoumaru changed. They all changed.
Rin had gained something
more than a friend. She was no longer the only special person by
Sesshoumaru's side. She was no longer the only one to make him
smile.
Now Rin felt lonely.
Now she felt sadness, especially when she thought he would be taken away from all of them by Mitsu.
And now, she felt jealously.
"Rin, are you alright?"
Rin looked up from the flower crown she was making and into Kikyou's brown eyes, the older women was leaning over Rin with concern. Rin nodded and then smiled cheerfully.
"Yep, Rin-I mean, I am fine."
Kikyou returned
Rin's smile. "I'm glad then. Shall we go?"
Rin turned away
from Kikyou and continued threading the flowers together. "I will
wait for Sesshoumaru-sama. He said he would play with me."
Kikyou
stood up and looked toward the horizon. They were in a small clearing
waiting for Sesshoumaru to finish securing their transportation. "I
talked with him earlier, he said that he would be late. Besides, I
doubt that he would have time to play with you today."
Kikyou's last words, echoed in Rin's mind. She threw down her
unfinished flower crown angrily. Why did Kikyou get to spend so much
time with Sesshoumaru? Rin herself had barely seen him at all today.
And the last week they spent in town not at all. It was as if
Sesshoumaru and Kikyou were married. The thought of which brought up
the painful topic of Sesshoumaru's first and only wife Mitsu.
Rin
had been withdrawn and anxious then, worried that her journeys with
Sesshoumaru would end. However, Rin had not been jealous because she
could tell that Sesshoumaru did not love Mitsu. But now...
Rin glanced at Kikyou as she went to pick up the discarded flower
crown. Kikyou was beautiful and could do many things that Rin
couldn't, such as use a bow and make medicine. Kikyou was intelligent
and kind, even if sometimes she could be a little distant. And Kikyou
had one advantage over Rin also, she was an adult.
Rin loved
Sesshoumaru, maybe not romantically like Kikyou did, but love
nonetheless. Rin was not ignorant of their relationship, even if she
did not understand it. But she had seen young couples together in the
forest and animals mating, and spying on Sesshoumaru and Kikyou
together Rin had quickly realized that the two were now a couple.
Rin was not jealous or angry at the former priestess for their coupling, only that Kikyou seemed to be taking all of Sesshoumaru for herself. Rin was afraid that she was no longer needed. Kikyou could give Sesshoumaru so many things that she, a child, couldn't. Rin wished only to stay by his side, but if Sesshoumaru no longer needed her...
Rin ran off suddenly in tears. Kikyou called for her to come back, but Rin ignored her and ran deeper into the forest until she was soon lost. Angrily, Rin wiped away her tears and started to turn back, but it was all ready too the late. The damage had been done. Rin could no longer stay by Sesshoumaru's side.
"Rin! Please, if you can hear my voice please respond and say something! Rin!" Kikyou shouted as she combed the forest looking for her. Sesshoumaru said nothing, and his silence was beginning to scare her.
This was all her fault. If she hadn't left Rin alone, or if she had been kinder to her, maybe this would not be happening at all.
But it was not as if Kikyou had been rude to Rin, or as if she had turned her back on the girl, it was that Rin was inexperienced with sharing. To put it simply, Kikyou suspected that Rin was jealous of her and Sesshoumaru's relationship and insecure about her place in their lives.
Kikyou stopped and wrung her hands anxiously, something she had never done before. Kikyou was also unsure about her new role as Sesshoumaru's lover. Kikyou was used to dealing with children that weren't her's, what if she was doing something wrong? Instead of a sister Rin needed a mother. Should she had said something before that could have changed everything.
Thinking such thoughts made Kikyou realize that she loved Rin, in her eyes Rin was her child. And it scared her.
Sesshoumaru's hand on her shoulder made her jump.
"We should hold off searching for Rin and wait, at least until the
moon comes out."
Kikyou wanted to bash Sesshoumaru in the face.
"Can't you see that by then something could have happened to Rin!
It might already be too late!!"
Sesshoumaru's grip on her shoulder tightened and his mouth became a
stern line. "I'm going to forgive that because you're concerned for
Rin's safety, but she's been walking through forests since she was a
toddler and the lengthening shadows won't help. Someone should stay
here, at the campsite until she comes back."
What Sesshoumaru
was saying made sense. What if Rin came back and they were away
looking for her. Then they would be lost and Rin would be looking for
them.
Kikyou nodded. "Alright I'll—"
"—Look for Rin," Sesshoumaru finished. "If anyone can find her it is you."
Kikyou was flabbergasted. Wouldn't Sesshoumaru be better equipped to find Rin. Rin didn't even want seen to like her!
It was surprising that even though they used to be so close they were now so far apart. Maybe getting them to find each other, metaphorically and physically would be the key to bringing all of them together.
Kikyou was silent for a long time. The shadows lengthened before she
spoke. "If I go searching for her... And my servants, the
shinidamachuu, come to me..."
Sesshoumaru brushed his hand
against Kikyou's cheek gently, a rare display of emotions for him. "I
trust you will know what to say when the time comes."
Kikyou set out, determined to find Rin, but less and less certain of what would happen when she would find her. Kikyou had no fantasy's about a joy full family reunion. Rin didn't even see her as family! Plus, with the coming of night Kikyou started to feel faint with the need to gain energy. She had forgotten her needs, what with the battle with Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru's confession, and Rin running away Kikyou had completely forgotten that she hadn't devoured souls in a long while.
The sun set and the moon was just starting to rise over the horizon when Kikyou found Rin. The small girl was huddled at the base of a tree, crouching amongst the tree roots and trying to keep warm.
"Rin..." Kikyou whispered. Her knees shook with relief. Rin was
safe after all.
Kikyou had believed herself emotionless.
Above human emotions because she was not human.
Above human emotions because she was dead.
Above human emotions because she was fueled by hate.
But now things were different. She had a new reason to live. Rin and Sesshoumaru the reason to live beyond her feud with Inuyasha and Naraku.
Kikyou began to run toward the girl when she felt her legs give out for real. Her time was up, her energy had run out.
One by one lights flickered in the darkness, trying to outrace the moon.
Rin looked up from her lap as she heard a thud. She had spent the last few hours debating on whether or not to go back to camp when Kikyou had found her cold, hungry, and about to beg to be admitted as Sesshoumaru's servant like Jaken rather than be forced out of their group now that Sesshoumaru no longer needed her.
When Rin looked up she saw Kikyou face first in the dirt before her. The young women seemed to be struggling to lift her head, much less sit up.
Forgetting her turbulent emotions, Rin ran toward Kikyou and helped her sit up. Kikyou could only stare at Rin as she weakly tried to lift her hand to push Rin away.
Even Kikyou didn't need her... Rin pushed such thoughts away and held on to Kikyou more tightly.
Just then she felt the brush of scales against her exposed face and hands as well as a gust of wind. Suddenly her and Kikyou were surrounded by serpent like creatures floating in mid air and glowing eerily. Rin tried to brush them away, but they just ignored her. In their arachnid like limbs they held glowing orbs, orbs that hey were trying to place in Kikyou's lap but which Rin mistook as trying to take Kikyou.
Rin put herself between Kikyou and the creatures to no avail. They just moved around her and alighted upon Kikyou. Rin tried frantically to hold on to Kikyou, but it was no use. Kikyou and the creatures took to the air.
The glowing orbs—souls—were absorbed by Kikyou, giving her a new life. Free of her paralysis, Kikyou touched her face and arms, and they reached out her hand to her soul stealing servants like one would to a pet.
Rin, below her, continued to stare at her friend. She was terrified of the creatures, but if Kikyou was still alive then that meant that everything was alright, right?
Yet she had never seen Kikyou like this. This was not the human woman that had played with her and always been by her side, this was something else.
"Kikyou...?" Rin whispered, almost afraid to disturb her.
Finally remembering Rin, Kikyou's already pale face was paled further. Rin had found out her secret.
Kikyou returned to the ground and reached for Rin, but the young girl took a step back. Kikyou dropped her hand, her heart broken. Would Rin hate her too?
Almost as in encouraging their mistress, and sensing that she needed a time alone, the shinidamachuu left the two of them alone.
"Rin... I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to know that I'm... To feel like you're..." Kikyou was at a loss for words. She wanted to apologize for never telling Rin about her and Sesshoumaru, yet she also wanted—needed—for Rin to understand her. To not run away like the others had and still love her. Even Inuyasha had been repulsed. Kikyou had thought she had found a sanctuary in being with Sesshoumaru, Rin, and even Jaken. Here she was respected, loved, and even valued. Sesshoumaru loved her despite her status and her body, could Rin?
Rin looked down and then back up at Kikyou before glancing at Kikyou's servants. Once you got used to them, they weren't so menacing. And Kikyou... Rin had never seen Kikyou so hurt before.
Rin thought of why she had been so angry at Kikyou, so afraid that Sesshoumaru would not want her, but here Kikyou was risking herself to find her. Kikyou had collapsed in exhaustion from trying to find her. The woman's clothes were torn, dirt smeared her face, and her saddles were ripped to shreds from jagged rocks and roots.
Rin looked up as she heard Kikyou sob.
"Rin... I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Sesshoumaru, this, none of it! I... I love you. And I want what's best for you... but I'm not even human! Sesshoumaru, I love Sesshoumaru because he loves me for what I am, and this is what I am!" Kikyou waved her arms around her, indicating her servants. "I am a lifeless doll! I only lived so far off of my need to for vengeance. But now—now I want to live with you and Sesshoumaru. If I can't be your mother, or your sister, I want to be your friend. Sesshoumaru loves you so much, and so do I. Will you come back with me?"
Rin reached out her hand as Kikyou reached out her's for Rin's hand, their finger tips were just about to touch when they both turned at the sound of the underbrush rustling.
It was Sesshoumaru, he too seemed to be in an elegant state of disrepair. It seemed he had been looking for the two of them. Many hours had passed by between Rin leaving and Kikyou setting off after her by herself. Sesshoumaru had held back from coming along not because of pride or because he didn't care, but because he didn't know what to do to mend the situation and was hoping Kikyou and Rin could figure it out for themselves.
Rin smiled at seeing Sesshoumaru at last and ran up to him and jumped up to embrace him. Kikyou watched the two of them sadly.
If it would mend things between them, then Kikyou would gladly leave both Rin and Sesshoumaru if it meant that Rin would be happy.
Sesshoumaru, seeing Kikyou's reluctance, held out his hand hoping Kikyou would come back with him and Rin. Kikyou looked up startled as Sesshoumaru offered his hand to her. There was an incertitude in his eyes she had never seen before.
Rin looked between them, really looking at Sesshoumaru and Kikyou. It was obvious that they cared for each other, yet Kikyou (and even Sesshoumaru, though he would never admit it) were willing to go through hell for her. If Rin really couldn't get along with the both of them, one of them was prepared to leave the other.
Did Rin really want to break them up? More importantly, did she really not like the thought of the two of them being together?
Rin thought back to the days before Kikyou and Sesshoumaru had expressed their love for each other. The days back then had been fun and everyday full of adventure, hope, and happiness. They had had their dramatic moments, even a few scary ones, but all together they—Sesshoumaru, Rin, and Kikyou—had gotten through it like a family.
A family, this was what they were. And the the closest one Rin had ever known. They could still be a family. They still were.
Rin smiled and waved at Kikyou, inviting her over.
"Rin?"
"Come on
Kikyou-sama, we should return before Jaken thinks we've left without
him!"
Kikyou wiped away her tears and accepted Sesshoumaru's hand. Sesshoumaru briefly squeezed it before setting Rin down and holding her hand. Kikyou took Rin's other hand in her own and Rin smiled up at her happily. She would always be Kikyou to her, no matter what form she took.
The three of them returned to the campsite together, as a family.
Rin would never been lonely with Sesshoumaru and Kikyou, because with them loneliness did not exist.
Rin would never been scared with Sesshoumaru and Kikyou, because they protected her and never hurt her.
Rin would never be sad with Sesshoumaru and Kikyou, because they protected her from the feeling of sadness.
Rin finally found her home.
(7/31/09—Fall Chapter 3—End)
Author's Notes: Who doesn't have the warm fuzzies after reading this? I hope everyone liked this. And I wish I could update weekly, or even monthly, but I really can't. There is some much going on all the time in my life. I'm really busy. Plus, school starts in 2 weeks for me. Wish me luck, I'll need it. (I'm not even a senior yet, and college life is kicking my ass, lol) So please, please, continue to believe in me. I know I've broken promises before, but I will not break this one. I promise you that by the middle of next year at least, this story will be over. If not sooner. So please be patient on this and my other works.
Anyway, the next chapter will be Inuyasha's thoughts on Kikyou and Sesshoumaru's relationship and what, if anything, he should do about Kagome.
I know the Inuyasha manga series is already over, but I haven't finished it. So no one ruin it for me. Okay? I already know that in the series (SPOLIER ALERT) Kikyou is killed (again) and does not end up with either Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru. But that is what fan fiction is for, to fix the injustices and the original author's mistakes.! (just kidding, ;^_^) Really, it's no surprise. Kikyou couldn't live forever in order for Kagome to exist, but it's not like Kagome couldn't exist without that small part of her soul. Kikyou deserved to live a regular life as herself. I can't even believe Kagome is Kikyou's reincarnation. But at least I'll say this, Inuyasha and Kikyou are really meant for each other. I know, I know, blasphemy considering that I'm now a big time Kikyou and Sesshoumaru fan. But think about it, especially IxK haters and Kikyou haters, Inuyasha fell in love with Kikyou right? And then Kagome? Kagome is Kikyou's reincarnation, which means that as long as her soul continues to come back to earth her and Inuyasha are meant for each other. So it's kind of bittersweet. Kikyou is still technically alive in Kagome, but the Kikyou we know is gone.
Now I will say this in SxK defense, because the other half of me wants to kick my ass for all this IXK love. If Inuyasha had never met Kikyou, if it had been Sesshoumaru after the jewel's power (and we know that he always passionately goes after whatever he wants, look at how many times he has tried to kill Inuyasha?), then Kikyou and him might (and I say might because I'm not the creator of Inuyasha and am not 100% certain of what they would do in that situation) have fallen in love. No matter what, those two brothers are more alike then they think. (especially when it comes to being stubborn). Maybe the tale of their romance would not have been as exciting as Inuyasha, but we as fans can dream, right?
One more thing, Kikyou will always be reincarnated. Which means, as long as Sesshoumaru does not die, he has the possibility to see her again in the future. In the modern world, long after Kagome has kicked the bucket, they could be reunited. Sweet huh?
So it's not hopeless, and as long as people continue to love Inuyasha, people will continue to write great fan fiction about the greatest woman in anime: Kikyou.(SPOLIER ALERT)
Plus, and this is not "spolier alerted", any SxKagome fans out there? Kagome is Kikyou's reincarnation, which means you all are not only fans of one of the most impossible couplings, you also are secretly SxKikyou fans! (LOL)
That's all I wanted to say. Sorry if I was long winded. (or picked on you, ^_-)Please look forward to Fall Chapter 4.
