"Swan," Killian breathed, aghast.
His voice broke the calm and Emma dropped to her knees feeling tears begin to flow. Turning over the lifeless body she groaned deep and low in her chest in agony; the bridge, the small flap of wood that held the strings away from the body of her cello was laying sentinel on the floor beside the scene of the accident and a small hole gaped at her in the cello's face from where it had been ripped away.
The stage exploded, people rushing at Killian, shoving him back yelling in their whispered stage voices. August stood in the front of the line with Killian's shirt bunched in his fist as if he were going to hit the man.
Emma felt herself unwillingly break into rough sobs. Her cello was broken. She knew of no repairman in this city and even if she did her bank account was still fairly drained from her move there. How much would the W.C.C.G. insurance cover? Even if they covered everything sometimes holes could never be repaired – sometimes repairing a hole changed the sound of the instrument and, therefore, the owner's ability to play it entirely.
What am I going to do?
"Is it playable?" Mary leaned over her but Emma could tell from Mary's tone that she knew it wasn't. "Come on." She pulled Emma up and took the two of them, Emma and her broken cello, backstage.
As soon as they were out of the stage lights Emma's soft crying turned into full-blown weeping. Mary wrapped her arms around her for a moment understanding and then with the authoritative tone of the first violinist she held her at arms length, "I'm sorry, I want this to not be true but the show is supposed to start any second." She told her of a colleague in the audience whom she was sure had locked their cello in one of the instrument lockers.
Emma nodded, understanding and not at all offended.
The show must go on. For now, anyway.
She had a few minutes to gather herself before the other instrument was shoved into her hand and she was ushered back on stage.
She wished people would stop sending her furtive glances as if they were worried she was going to shatter apart. The more looks she got the more her panic turned, churning into hot anger. She could feel Killian behind her, wanting to reach out and apologize, but she internally begged him not to; she wasn't sure how professional she could be in that moment and time.
The new cello was fine but she didn't like it. It felt slightly wrong like driving someone else's car into a new city.
Emma played terribly that night only adding to her mortification. Her mistakes weren't because of the foreign instrument - she just couldn't focus. She knew no one would blame her but she couldn't help but to blush scarlet avoiding all eyes as they took their bows and rush off stage as soon as was possible.
So fucked, so fucked, I'm so fucked.
She handed Mary the other cello and returned to her own, which lay broken and bleeding on the table. She began to cry again, this time, tears of fury. Slowly she packed it up, unsure of what else to do with it, and turned to head for the door just needing an out.
"Hey guys," Mary called from the stage "I need you to stick around for a few minutes. The president of the board is on her way down with a few questions. I know, I know, it's late. We will get you out of here quickly."
Emma instantly felt just a bit lighter, Regina was exactly who she wanted to see just then. Even the thought of her soothed some of the burning ache in her chest as everything about her craved the woman, the comfort she knew she could find in her so-called crocodile.
The small group of people gathered on the stage, instruments packed looking furious and terrified all at once. No one was speaking to Killian. He took a seat in the middle of the group, looking like he might vomit and Emma, needing to be as far from him as possible, sat on the very corner edge of the group, her back to everyone making it as clear she didn't want to talk. She could hear the mumblings around her, gossiping and whispering about the event but no one spoke directly to her, reading her message loud and clear. She was glad.
Soon she heard the tale-tell clicking of heels coming through the stage door and looked up hopefully.
Soon. She promised herself.
Regina was purple in the face, her lips pressed into a thin line, the professional mask twitching in place looking as if she was going to fry someone up and eat them for dinner. Even Ruby stalked behind her looking violent, wolf-like in defense of her friend.
The sight of them silenced the entire crowd instantly, children in the presence of the school's furious Principal.
Regina's eyes found Emma's face and for a moment her foot falls stuttered, shock crossing her face at the obvious red puffy eyes and tear tracks Emma knew she wore.
While Regina headed to the front of the class demanding every eye Ruby came to Emma's side, wrapping her arms around the woman's neck, leaning against her back in wordless support for a moment before stepping into her role as Regina's ears.
Hands on her hips, her lip curling into an evil grin as she spoke to the group, "What the hell happened?"
Silence met her question.
"What the hell happened?" she roared.
Emma opened her mouth to speak, the only one in the group not intimidated but Killian cut her off, "I bumped into Emma, her cello fell and it broke."
Emma whipped toward him knowing she was going to scream but people around her did it for her, a cacophony of it-was-on-purpose's and you're-making-it-sound-like-an-accident-asshole's surrounding her.
Regina held up her hand, demanding silence.
"I think there was some type of altercation between Killian, August, and Emma just before it happened." Mary supplied in a quiet voice, her head cocked slightly to the side as if unsure of what she was saying.
Regina glared for a moment before insisting, "Everyone but those three may leave."
Emma sat in her seat, longing for the mask hiding Regina's true face to fall away, panic about the thing that brought all of her income still clutching her chest suffocating her.
Ruby appeared at her side again, clutching her shoulder. The comfort from the touch was like a cooling sip of water on her throat that was burning alive from the screams she held back.
"Tell me," She demanded of August who stood his ground next to Emma despite those almost black eyes burrowing into him.
Briefly and honestly he told Regina everything that had happened from him teasing Killian to Killian purposefully bumping into Emma.
Regina's chest heaved as he continued, her anger visibly rising as she understood the situation, "You idiot!" she yelled though whether at August or Killian they weren't completely sure. "What were you thinking?"
"In my defense," he said slowly, "I never meant for any of this to happen. It was an accident."
Emma bit her tongue. She bit it hard, willing herself to stay quiet, willing herself to stay professional. Her wicked tongue had gotten her into trouble more than once in her life and she had learned the hard way to keep her trap closed.
"To be fair, friend, it didn't seem like it was." August shrugged.
Regina approached Killian with all of her distaste, all of her loathing evident on her face, "what were you thinking?"
He took a step back, his face growing remote and defensive, "I said it was an accident."
"Is this how you were taught to behave, Mr. Jones? Is it? Is this how you as a musician feel you can behave? An instrument is broken!" Regina began to tear into the man about professionalism but the more she did the angrier Killian's face became until finally he exploded, "I made a mistake!" He bellowed, "However yelling at me on behalf of your girlfriend is equally as unprofessional as what I did!"
Emma jumped to her feet, fury rippling off of her, a burning force.
"This is not," Regina screamed right back, "because Emma is my girlfriend, this is because of your rash and juvenile behavior!" She scowled deeply, "this is absolutely unacceptable, Mr. Jones!" In her vicious anger, for just a moment, Regina lost control of her anger, of her voice and a large honking sound escaped her lips.
Regina froze, mortified, her face going magenta.
Emma's eyes shot wide; she knew Regina had spent years, most of her life in fact in speech therapy learning to avoid a moment such as that one. Though she couldn't see it in Regina's defiant face she knew the woman would want to run away and hide.
Killian's eyebrows rose to his hairline at the sound but they settled into a disgusting look of smugness, a single, "heh" escaping his lips.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emma roared at the top of her lungs launching herself at him.
She had to hit him. She had to get to her stupid fucking ex-boyfriend and punch him in his stupid little fucking face.
August and Ruby caught her around the middle, yells of surprise escaping them. She thrashed wildly, needing to sink her fist into some part of him.
As a pair, Ruby and August pulled her through the stage door.
The cool night air hit her like a brick to the face and sobered her a little. Breathing hard, she yanked away from them swearing and pacing.
"Emma, I'm sorry," August said softly, "I know this is partially my fault. Let me buy you a drink."
In truth she didn't blame August, he had just been teasing his friend; she blamed herself for not remembering Killian once she had fallen into Regina's arms. She blamed herself for dating the asshole at all. Still she glared at him, her impression of Regina perfect as she snarled, "you better buy me fucking several."
Informed that Regina would handle her broken cello for the night, Emma went to the bar that was becoming a frequent hangout and sat, fuming, in a bar stool staring at August expectantly.
"What about you Ruby?" he asked a glint in his eye. Ruby smiled back mischievously. The innocent flirting spiked Emma's want to hit something. She glared at August who grinned a little and ordered a double row of shots for each of them. The three slammed them back quickly, cringing and shuddering.
"Again!" he called to the bartender.
After her fifth shot, Emma began to feel a bit better. She wasn't drunk but she was well on her way and happy about it.
After her seventh she was drunk and nothing had ever felt better. She was beginning to wish for Regina. She was going to meet them when she was finished with Killian, right?
Ugh, Killian and his stupid face. I hope she's serving it on a platter.
"So." August said throwing his arm over Emma's shoulders, his inebriation making him bold, "you and the Evil Queen."
Emma snarled at him not quite drunk enough to allow badmouthing of Regina, "shut up, August."
"No, no, no!" Ruby cried, wrapping her arm around her friend's waist and cuddling in closely, "Regina has been refusing to talk to me about it. I want to know!"
Emma looked at both of them and rolled her eyes, "I am so not talking about this. Bartender, another round please."
"Emma!" Ruby cried shaking her, "tell me! I've been dying to know. How did it happen? Is she good? I always thought that sign language would make a lesbian really good in bed. All of those small movements, you know?"
Emma's lip twitched. She would never have shared this information with August alone but with her friend Ruby – she grinned, "It does."
Ruby slapped the bar as if to say I knew it!
"She took me dancing -
"Wait, she can go dancing?" The slightly drunken women glared and he held his hands in the air, eyes wide.
"Why, because she's deaf?" Ruby challenged, "Some of the greatest dancers have been deaf. There is a deaf dancer at The Joffrey Ballet now as a matter of fact."
"Hey, hey! I'm not trying to start anything. I just didn't know. Cut me some slack ladies, sheesh."
Ruby turned back to Emma satisfied, "so?"
Emma laughed and recounted the evening up until, blushing, she had to stop or reveal what had come after they had returned to Emma's apartment.
"So are you happy? Are you in love now?"
Emma laughed, blushing and feeling lighthearted for the first time since that sickening crack, "I don't know. Honestly Ruby, I'm a little worried about doing this."
"Doing what? Being with Regina?"
Emma nodded slowly, unsure how to say what had been worrying her.
"Why?" Ruby bellowed a bit too loudly, ticking her shot glass against Emma's and August's before they swallowed them down and then glaring at her, "It's not because she's deaf is it?"
"Ruby." Emma drawled just staring at her.
Ruby narrowed her eyes for a moment contemplating "Then what?"
"I don't know - I'm worried about Henry. What will life be like for him when she's gone? What will it be like for me? I can't imagine how he will take her leaving when we break up."
"Break up? Why are you breaking up already?"
"What?"
"You just said when she's gone and how will he take her leaving after you break up. Why do you say when, shouldn't it be if? If you guys break up?" August grinned at Emma's blank face.
"Did I say when?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"It hasn't even occurred to you that she might not leave, has it?"
Emma scowled, "Have you ever been in a relationship that didn't end?"
"No, but why assume she's going to leave?"
Emma didn't have an answer. Besides that was simply how things had always worked so she kept her mouth closed.
"That isn't it, though, is it?" Ruby eyed her.
"What?"
"There's something else."
They took another group shot, "I don't know." She gasped at the burn.
Liar, Ruby signed.
"Am not!" August looked confused.
"Then tell me." Ruby goaded.
Emma's drunken state made the confession slip past her lips before she had given it permission, "I don't know if I can do this! I think if I let myself be with her, I mean really be with her, with no bullshit then I – I'll fall in love with her."
Ruby and August burst into an uproarious fit of laughter.
"What?" Emma asked in a quiet voice, too vulnerable to take the laughter well.
"Emma!" Ruby chided, slapping her on the arm, "if you're worried about that then you already are!"
Emma was drunkenly blindsided, an SUV of words slamming into her at full speed.
"Yeah," August laughed, "let's just hope Killian doesn't break her too."
Ruby snorted, "I'd like to see him try."
"Very funny mate." The accented voice said dryly from behind them.
The three spun around to face the villain of the hour.
The man looked like death warmed over; clearly Regina had put him through his paces. Emma shot up, shoving him hard in the chest before she could stop and make herself think, "My cello, Killian! My cello? What is wrong with you? You fucking broke my cello because I wouldn't sleep with you? Because I would rather sleep with Regina? Are you fucking kidding me?"
Ruby tried halfheartedly to pull her back but seemed smart enough not to try too hard.
Killian winced but said nothing as she shoved him again and again.
"That was my livelihood, Killian! That was literally the food in my son's mouth! That was my rent! How dare you! How dare you! Do you know everything I will lose if I lose this job? My apartment! My son's food! We will have to move again and I just promised him we wouldn't!" With that last statement, she shoved him hard enough that he crashed into the table behind them. "All over Regina, you fucking idiot?"
The bartender shouted a warning at them but Emma ignored it continuing to shout and hit Killian, "We will have nowhere to go! What am I supposed to do without a fucking cello?" Emma screamed, her fist connecting with his chin in a flash of hot pain. Suddenly gruff hands grabbed her by the back of the shirt and the ponytail, making her yelp in pain, a familiar teenage fight or flight taking over. She writhed against the hands, doing her best to make contact with the body behind her, not entirely sure what was happening until with a cry she flew out the front door. She sat for a minute blinking confused as Ruby, August and Killian came flying after her, the huge bouncer yelling at them to sober up.
Clicking heels fell beside her as Regina finally appeared, yelling at the bouncer and helping her up. Emma cradled her hand growling.
"What the hell happened to your hand?"
Ruby and August roared with laughter, "She punched him! She punched him right in the fucking face!"
Regina's eyes flashed, "Ms. Swan, really? It's bad enough your cello is damaged, do you really need a broken hand too?"
Emma shrugged anger still hot in her chest, "Not the first punch I've thrown."
Regina pursed her lips, "Indeed."
Exchanging looks with Ruby Emma's face cracked into a grin as she asked, "Did we just get kicked out of the bar?"
Ruby doubled over, staggering a bit, the weight of her laughter almost too much for her skinny legs, "I think we did!"
"What happened?" Regina looked between them expectantly.
"Well Ms. Mills," August said pointedly slurring badly, "we thought it might be best to get Ms. Swan very drunk."
"What?" Ruby did her best to interpret, her hands slurring on their own.
Regina's lip twitched until ripping away from her, Emma charged again at Killian, her anger remembered. "You!"
Regina held her back easily.
"No, lemme hit him again!"
"Really, Mr. Jones." Her voice like acid, "I remember instructing you specifically to leave Ms. Swan alone for this evening. Go home. Get yourself together."
His jaw flexed, "I will, I know, I'm sorry. I just want to say," he tried to take Emma's hands but she ripped them from him with a roar, "I just want to say, I am so very sorry Emma. It was an accident but it was an accident that should have been avoided. I will fix it. I will cover any costs that the insurance doesn't. I have a good repairman. We can take it to him tomorrow."
Emma glared, "remind me of that when I'm sober."
Regina rolled her eyes, agitated, "Now please, Mr. Jones. Go home."
Killian lingered for a second longer before with a sigh he turned from them.
When he was gone Regina finally turned to her, pulling her into her arms, "Are you okay?"
Emma blinked at the sign, seeing double.
Regina kissed her lightly and much to Emma's drunken embarrassment the kiss ignited the usual flame in Emma.
Regina chuckled, feeling Emma's sudden spark, "You're quite drunk, aren't you?"
Emma scrunched up her nose, a little embarrassed and gave her best puppy dog eyes; "I guess we went at it pretty hard."
Regina's eyebrow tilted a bit at her choice of words.
"Well, Ms. Swan," Regina said kissing her in a way that made both Ruby and August clear their throats and look away, "I think I had better get you home so that I may go at it pretty hard."
They sat on the train together, Regina eyeing Emma as Emma giggled over anything and everything.
"What is Henry going to think of you?" She mused.
"Well let's hope he's asleep at this hour!"
"Very true."
"Plus, Becca will be happy. I promised her that I would give her a huge drunk tip every time I came home and I wasn't sober. You know, just in case I was later than I said or anything like that."
"A drunk tip?"
"Yup. A drunk tip." Emma kissed her cheek, "Are you staying?"
Regina grinned her wide pearly grin, "do you want me to?"
"Yes," She said simply enough.
"Then yes."
Emma nodded. "You called me your girlfriend."
"I beg your pardon?"
"You called me your girlfriend. When you were yelling at Killian and his stupid face."
"Aren't you?"
Emma giggled a bit, "Am I?"
Regina smiled, stroking the beautiful face before her, "Yes. You are."
Emma smiled, sighing as she rested her head against Regina's shoulder, "Okay."
