Only one chapter left. Is anyone else excited? Maybe I'll hold onto it for a week, just to make y'all suffer. No. I think I'll have to post it ASAP. I already have it written and everything. Love you guys! -Harles

Chapter Twelve

Bruce caught up with the Joker several blocks down. He was running.

"Joker!"

Joker spun around. "Get away from me!" he shouted, and sped up.

"No!"

"Yes! Leave me alone!"

Bruce forced himself to go after. "Joke-"

He turned into an alleyway. Bruce skidded to a halt, and turned. The Joker was gone. He saw a shadow vanishing over the roof above him.

Bruce reached for his grappling hook, then decided against it. He jumped up, and pulled down the ladder to the fire escape above him, and climbed up it, before pulling himself up to the next level, and the one after that. Finally, he hoisted himself up onto the roof, and stood. The Joker was on the other side of the building, sitting and facing away from him.

Bruce crossed over, and saw down next to him. The Joker swung his legs out over the side of the building.

"Hey."

The Joker didn't say anything. Bruce frowned- he was crying. The Joker turned his head away.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Take off my mask."

The Joker harrumphed. "I'm not taking off your mask. It's cliche and romantic." His tone turned bitter, and he looked away, kicking his feet. "I hate romance."

"Then I'll take it off." Bruce reached up and pulled off his cowl. "Please look at me."
"No. I hate you."

"Don't hate me." Bruce edged closer to him. The Joker yelped, like he'd been shocked, and moved away. Bruce pulled off his glove, and reached out his hand. "I need you to do something for me."

"I hate you," the Joker said sullenly, sounding heartbroken. "Please go away."

"Just take my pulse. Nothing romantic at all. Of course, I'd prefer it if you looked into my eyes, but you don't have too."

The Joker took Bruce's hand and pressed his fingers tightly against his wrist. He turned his head, met his eyes, and then jerked his gaze away.

Bruce took a deep breath. "My name is Harvey Dent. I'm a gangster, with a dual personality I call Two-Face. Was my pulse steady?"

"I dunno."

"Watch it this time. My name is Superman. I'm a complete asshole with stupid superpowers like doing everything a Batsuit does but if you wave a rock in my face, I turn into a normal being. And apparently I can't handle that, because I collapse onto the ground whenever that happens, screaming in pain. And my greatest enemy is a bald man, who owns a lot of real estate. Oh, so scary. I don't even know why I wear a cape. I just do. Probably because Batman does, and it looks great on him." Bruce smiled. "Well, was it steady?"

"Yeah." The Joker let go of his hand, and wiped his tears onto his sleeve.

"I know. I'm the world's greatest liar. I can fool anyone, any machine, any polygraph. But let's see how I do when I'm not trying to cover myself." He offered the Joker his hand again. He took it. "My name is Bruce Wayne. I'm Batman, and I do not love the Joker." He drew his hand back. "Well?"

"It… it spiked."

"See?"

The Joker paused. "It's still… scary. Hearing you say it. Watching you say that."

"I know. I'm sorry."

The Joker leaned over, hugging him. He buried his face in his shoulder. "Damn you."

Bruce put his arms around the Joker. He almost laughed.

The Joker pulled away and punched him. "I'm still mad at you."

"I know."

"Also, the signal just went up."

"Want to come with me?"

"Really?"

"Sure. But you can't attack the police."

The Joker squealed. "Let's go!"

In no time at all, Bruce had landed on the GCPD roof, holding the Joker tightly. Jim was leaning against the Batsignal, an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Bruce set the Joker down. "Commissioner, is something wrong?"

Jim Gordon glanced at the Joker, and lit his cigarette. "World's Greatest Detective," he muttered. "Yes, something's wrong. How did you know?"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he said sarcastically. "Nothing at all."

"Jim-"

"I mean," he said, his voice raising. "It's not as if there's anything I need to know!"

Joker glanced at Batman.

"Jim-"

"It's not as if people I care about are constantly in danger! So tell me!" Jim shut off the Bat-signal, and didn't turn to face Bruce. "So, tell me, Batman. How long has my daughter been Batgirl?"

"I-"

"And you! Did you know?" Jim demanded, shaking, pointing at the Joker. "When you came to my house and- and-"

"Oh, no!" The Joker said soothingly. "I'll just- I'll um-" He grabbed the door to the GCPD and dove inside.

"Did he?"

"No," Bruce said. "Commissioner-"

Jim spun around, and punched Bruce in the face. He stumbled backwards. "You might have thought to mention that," he snarled. "When I was at your house for Thanksgiving dinner!"

Bruce fell silent.

"It's funny. I thought it might be you, back when the Batman first showed up. Well, I didn't. Sarah, though-" Gordon's voice cracked. "But all the evidence pointed away from you, and we gave up on that theory. And Bruce, what the hell are you doing gallivanting around with him?!"

As if he'd been cued, the Joker stuck his head out of the doorway. "Excuse me. Hate to interrupt this little heart-to-heart, but you aren't answering your com, and I just got a message from Dickybird." He turned to Gordon. "Your daughter's awake."

Jim swore and spun around, heading inside.

"I can give you a ride," Bruce offered.

"I can drive just fine." He slammed the door shut.

"By the way," the Joker called. "I never slept underneath your bed!"

Bruce stared at him.

"What?"

"Nothing," Joker said. "Just something I made up this one time that I think really freaked him out."

"I can see how it might. What did Quinn do to Batgirl?"

"Oh." The Joker rocked back in forth on his heels, and bit his lip. "Well, she, uh… she had a saw. And she used it on her legs."

"What?"

They stopped by the hospital on the way home. Barbara was going to be fine. She wasn't ever going to be able to walk again, but she was going to live. That was what counted. Tim and Dick were both fine.

Back at the Manor, Bruce set up a guest room for the Joker, and headed down into the Cave.

"Damian? Jason?"

Jason rushed over to Bruce. Bruce hugged him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "For everything."

"Me too. For everything."

"I was a douche."

"But I was worse."

"I'm not even going to deny it. It's true. You're an asshole."

Bruce chuckled, and pulled away. "How's Damian?"

"He's fine. Asleep upstairs." Jason swallowed. "The Joker-"

"Also asleep upstairs."

Jason nodded, looking pained. "Fine. Whatever you want. It's your house."

"Jason-"

"No, I don't mind. Really. But if he tries to kill me again-"

"If that happens," Bruce said, "We are so breaking up."

Jason's mouth twitched up. "Ew. You're together. That's gross. I hate you."

"Jason," Bruce said. "You really are like a son to me."

"You're like my annoying dad who's always dating random chicks off the street."

"Hey. Let's give the billionaire some class."

"You also grab random kids from the street. That's freaky." Jason laughed. "Oh, and Catwoman and Ivy are up there, too. Selina called the police, but they ended up dueling a bunch of Quinn's goons. I'm pretty sure they beat them, because most of them got arrested. Some cops went down into the tunnels, but I bumped into them and told them everything was cool. Is Babs okay?"

"She'll live. She won't be able to walk again, though."

"What happened to her?"

Bruce sucked in a breath. "The way I understand it, her legs… got sawed off."

"I'm going to kill Quinn." Jason closed his eyes. "I can't believe- I trusted her. I didn't think she was capable of-"

"It's alright."

"I think- I might stay in Gotham. For awhile longer"

"Whatever you want to do," Bruce headed for the staircase. "It's your life, Jason. And you're lucky to have it."

"Yeah." Jason sat down. "Guess I am. Even if I had to get dumped in a Lazarus Pit."

"I'm going to head upstairs now," Bruce said. "The green guest room is empty, if you want to hang around."

Jason nodded, and Bruce headed out of the Cave. He changed out of his clothes, and collapsed into bed.

Quinn was still out there.

Jim was furious with him.

Barbara was in the hospital.

He was probably going to get suspended from the Justice League.

There might be a bug in the Cave.

Alfred was still missing.

Tomorrow, he thought. Just this once.

And Bruce Wayne slept.