Lily had always liked the library, but at this point, even she was getting tired of it. She was ready for N.E.W.T.s to be done - alternating studying diligently in the library and studying diligently in the common room wasn't any fun, and it was making her want to let James talk her into doing something like sneak into Hogsmeade or even apparate to London for a Saturday.
She wasn't going to, of course. She was 90% sure of that. No matter how much James gave her puppy eyes or promised to buy her a book or moped around because he was depressed and worried about his parents' health.
Well, she was 80% sure of it, anyway.
Maybe 75%. No lower than that, though.
"So how are things going with James?" Jane asked her one day while they were trying to memorize transfiguration principles and failing miserably. "D'you think you're going to stay together after we leave Hogwarts?"
Lily blinked at her friend several times. "I don't know. I'd never really thought about it. I guess I just assumed that we would." A stab of insecurity broke through the malaise. "Do you think he's planning to break up with me?"
"No, I'm fairly sure that he isn't. I was actually wondering…" She trailed off. "Oh, never mind. It's stupid."
"No, what?"
Jane shook her head and turned back to her book. Lily immediately grabbed hers and shoved it into her bag.
"Lily, what on earth -"
"If you won't tell me, I'll go ask him."
"Ask him what?"
"I - I don't know. Something."
Jane looked back down at her own book. "I think you're just bored of studying and you're looking for an excuse to go find him so you can enjoy a little distraction." Lily felt her face flush, and her friend made a shoo-ing motion. "Get to it, then. Enjoy your boyfriend's lips and wandering hands."
Her face burning, Lily headed back up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She paused outside for a moment to catch her breath and try to regain her composure. Jane was a good friend who could be a little more perceptive than Lily would have liked - though in fairness, Lily had been genuinely worried about what would happen after they left Hogwarts for the past couple weeks. James clearly cared about her a lot - he'd made that very clear even before they'd started dating this year, and one didn't confide about extremely illegal activities in just anyone.
Also, he seemed to like kissing her quite a bit.
When she felt fairly confident that the blush had faded, she gave the Fat Lady the password and climbed into the Common Room. It was fairly crowded, but she didn't see James or his friends in the scrum of people. When she stopped at the base of the stairs to the boys' dormitories, however, she heard loud laughter echoing down the stairs. After a moment of hesitation, she headed up the stairs; she wouldn't be seeing most of these people for much longer, anyway, so if they thought a little worse of her because they assumed she was going upstairs for illicit reasons, it wasn't the end of the world.
And, in fairness, she wasn't opposed to going up the stairs leading to illicit things. She'd done it before, just… with fewer people around. So there was that.
The seventh year boys' dormitory door was closed. She wondered if this was a sign to turn around and head back down the stairs, but she was already here, wasn't she? It would be ridiculous to give up now.
So she knocked on the door and waited for it to open, shifting from one foot to the other and feeling exceedingly uncomfortable. After a moment, Sirius yanked it open. When he saw her standing there, he dropped the bottle he was holding. It stopped suddenly just above the carpeted floor.
It smelled suspiciously like firewhiskey. So did Sirius.
"Who is it?" she heard her boyfriend's very cheerful voice call from the other side of the room. "They can't be worth spilling that over, you dolt. Pick it up, I'm not going to hold it forever."
Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. His face was flushed. "Er - about this. I - why - not that you're not - er…"
Lily shifted her weight from one foot to the other and rubbed the back of her neck. She opened her mouth to try to say something, but nothing came out. She wasn't quite sure what she'd been expecting, but it wasn't this. She felt like a very awkward intruder.
Peter's round face poked around the door to see who was managing to make Sirius feel so uncomfortable. When he saw her, his mouth formed into a little 'o' and he vanished from the doorway.
"Oh, for the sake of -" Now it was James in the doorway. He grabbed the bottle off the ground before looking up. "Oh - Lily!"
She opened her mouth and closed it again. James stuck his head out into the stairwell and glanced up and down it; when he didn't see anyone else, he grabbed her with his free hand and pulled her inside.
"Take this," he said, shoving the bottle at Sirius. "And don't drop it again." He shoved the door closed and turned back to Lily, who could feel her face getting red again. "I thought you said you were studying with Jane is the library. Is everything okay?" She nodded, and a grin spread across his face. "So you were just missing me, then? You couldn't bear to go more than a few hours without seeing me?"
"You're ridiculous."
He pulled her close and kissed her. "Yes," he agreed. "You've known that for years, though, and you asked me out anyway."
"You taste like firewhiskey. You're drunk."
"Yes," he agreed again. "Do you want to follow my good example? There's still a lot of firewhiskey left - we smuggled in a few bottles. Oh, stop it, we're not going to drink it all tonight."
"I'm not sure whether that makes it better or worse." He threw back his head to laugh, and she peered around him to look at the other three boys. "Sorry," she said. "I just - I kind of - I didn't mean to crash anything."
Peter managed a pained smile while directing his gaze anywhere other than the bottle Sirius had just handed him, while Remus just shifted uncomfortably from his place on the window seat. Judging by the small glass in his hand, he was the only one of the four not drinking straight from the bottle.
Sirius had far more important concerns than any potential awkwardness from the Head Girl finding him drinking straight from a bottle of hard liquor. "Are you going to take our firewhiskey?" he asked.
"I probably should, but I don't think so. I'm actually not sure I smell it - I have an awful cold, you know. For all I know, you're just drinking butterbeer."
Sirius bounced off his bed and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Then you are very welcome to crash our party. I consider any girl willing to take pity on my dear friend James a welcome addition to any drinking endeavor. Provided she doesn't try to take my firewhiskey, of course."
"Of course." Lily could feel her heart starting to slow down. "That's very generous of you."
Sirius shrugged and collapsed onto his bed. "Pass it here, Pete." Peter, who was still eying her carefully, passed the bottle over. Sirius took another swig. "It's easy, you know," he told her. "See, he's got good taste and you'd got awful taste, so it works out well for everyone around him."
"Oi!"
Sirius grinned at his best friend. "Just drink the firewhiskey, Jamie dear," he said. "You'll feel better."
James glanced at Lily. "Do you mind?" She shook her head, and he kissed her again before snatching the bottle from Sirius's outstretched hand. "Come sit with me," he told her. "You're not crashing, really."
Lily climbed onto his bed. Her heart was hammering again. They'd all end up with quite a lot of detentions if they got caught, and she could only imagine McGonagall's face if she knew that Lily hadn't put a stop to it.
Of course, then there was her boyfriend. His tie was askew, his hair was as messy as always, and his smile was even more ridiculous and goofy than it usually was.
Well, what were the chances that they would get caught, anyway?
She climbed onto the bed with him, and he wound his free arm around her waist. "What more could a man ask for?" he asked, giving her a very sloppy kiss on the cheek. "A beautiful girlfriend willing to put up with my bad habits, the best friends in the world, and firewhiskey that is very much against the rules. Life is wonderful."
After Remus had departed to do his rounds, Sirius and Peter turned on the radio to listen to a Quidditch game. James knelt up to yank the drapes around his bed closed. When Sirius let out a loud guffaw, James stuck his head back out. "Shut up," he said, pointing a finger at the two other boys. "Just shut up."
"I didn't say anything," Sirius started as James collapsed back onto the bed. He reached across Lily to grab his wand off the sidetable and pointed it in the vague direction of his friends. Sirius's voice was cut off midword.
"That's better," James said, laying back onto the pillows. "They can't hear us, either, by the way. Come here."
Lily edged down to curl against him. "You're still drunk," she told him.
"Yes," he agreed. "But it makes me so compliant. You could probably talk me into anything right now."
"Couldn't I usually?"
He considered that for a moment. "Good point." He wrapped an arm around her as she smoothed her skirt down. "Oh, no, leave it, I love your legs." She gave him her best impression of Professor McGonagall's stern look when one disrupted class, and he shuddered. "Oh, fine. Spoil my fun."
She took a deep breath. "James?"
"Mm?"
"I - what are we going to do? After we finish our NEWTs, I mean?"
When she glanced up at him, he was frowning. "I dunno. What do you mean?" His eyebrows shot up. "What, like, will we be together?" She nodded. "I - I assumed we would. D'you - d'you not want to?"
His face looked absolutely crestfallen, which was solid confirmation that Jane had been right. She felt a weight lift from her shoulders instantly. "No, I do! I just - I wasn't sure if you did."
"Oh. Well, I do. You've clearly been studying too hard - you know I love you." He shifted his weight and slid a hand up her leg. "Maybe you need reminding."
"Maybe I do," she agreed, winding her arms around his neck. "So remind me."
A/N: For BellaLestrange87 at HPFanficTalk. She's a good friend and an amazing person, and I hope she likes this.
