Head's up, I had no motivation for this chapter, as you could probs tell it fell kind of flat and I didn't even try to edit sorry yall. Hopefully tonight's episode gives me so ideas. Thanks to those of you who reviewed, it means a lot! :)

The song for this chapter is Untitled - Interpol watch?v=Qm2oBSCtImg

BELLAMY'S POV:

"Kane!" I marched up to him.

He turned to me from speaking with Sinclair. Bewilderment registered in his eyes at the sight of the knife. "What's going on, Bellamy?"

Sinclair held his hands up in peace while Kane stepped toward me. "We can talk about this in private."

"What's the point? Everyone knows."

A few of the Guardsmen had taken notice of our interaction, their weapons raised. "Put it down, Blake." One of them instructed.

Kane waved them off. "It's okay." He stepped closer to me. "Mr. Blake and I are going to have a talk. Get back to work." He gave me a curt nod then lead the way to the tent then council just convened. He turned to me. "How'd you find out?"

"It wasn't hard to guess. Do you have anything to say to me?"

He huffed, then ran his hand through his dark brown hair. "I honestly never thought we'd have to have this conversation."

"Now's the time to pay the piper." I realized after I said it that it sounded cheesy, but it was too late to take it back without looking stupid.

He leaned against the table, his arms folded across his chest. "So you don't want to talk about it, you don't have any questions?"

I stumbled back, not prepared for that question. If I wanted to say something now was the time. I took a few steps forward and really looked at him. "Why couldn't you just let her live? She didn't hurt anybody, not one single person. She did everything she could to make things better for us and you just floated her."

He blinked rapidly. "Who are you talking about?"

My anger flared. "My mother!" My grip on the knife tightened. "Did you even think what it would be like for me and Octavia? We didn't have anybody else!" I had never allowed myself to think too much about our father because he didn't care enough to stay around. That resentment silently manifested over these years and now I took it out on Kane. "Then you took Octavia away from me and I was alone. I had nothing." I couldn't fight the tears that sprung to my eyes as I sniffed. "And now I have nothing again."

"What do you mean again? What happened when you left?
"She's gone." I didn't want to believe it, as I told Kane this it made it final.

"Clarke?" He asked, worry thick in his voice.

All of my anger drained away. "I don't know what happened. I searched for her, screamed for her, but she was gone." My shoulders fell. "Who would take her?" I slid to the ground, my knife laid a few feet away.

What was I going to do without her? She was my other half.

"How could I be stupid? I yelled and left her by herself. She wouldn't be gone if I had just listened, if I had forgiven her."

Kane knelt in front of me, his face sympathetic. "Don't put this on yourself, son. You could've been captured along with her. Maybe it was supposed to happen this way, so you could tell us she was missing. We're going to find her."

I looked up at him, noticing something familiar about his eyes, but I couldn't quite place it.

"What's going on in here?" Abby flew in.

Kane rose and went to her. "Let's talk about this outside."

"Why are there Guardsmen ready to shoot this tent to pieces?"

He pushed her out. "Come on."

I had done a lot of wrong when we got down here; making everyone take off the wristbands, torturing Lincoln, and ruining the radio that costed three hundred lives. Out of all that I knew I didn't deserve much, but I didn't deserve Clarke being ripped away from me.

"She what?" Abby nearly yelled.

"Wait wait wait-he's just a kid. He didn't make this happen, Abby. He can't take you blaming you right now."

There was a pause of silence, long enough to stir my curiosity.

"Did you tell him? Is that why you're finally sticking up for him?"

"No, I didn't tell him." He spoke lower.

What were they talking about?

I dusted myself off and wiped my eyes before exiting. "Are we going to go look for her or what?"

OCTAVIA'S POV:

I stirred awake and after a few moments after I realized where I was I looked up to see Murphy sleeping, his face so and not the hardened mask that he usually displayed. A sense of contentment filled me. This was nice. I wouldn't mind waking up like this everyday - woah!

I glanced down at my stomach and his excited johnson. Part of me wanted to be mad, but I couldn't really blame him. This was actually kind of funny. Sure, it kind of killed the romance, but somehow it didn't bother me, so much that I shook him awake with my silent laughter.

He peaked an eye open and took us in. "Woah, Octavia." He pulled me up his body, then groaned. "Not helping at all."

I laughed. "Relax, it's okay."

He looked confused. "What got into you?"

I could think of one thing that I wished got into me. My face flushed and by the smirk on his lips I could tell he knew what I was thinking.

"What's on your mind, O?"

"Nothing." I grinned. "I just woke up and I saw you there," I gazed into his eyes, not sensing any danger in them at all. "And I thought that..." Butterflies danced in my stomach and my nerves got the best of me. "That I'm glad that you're okay, that we're okay."

He stared at me for a few moments before saying, "I'm glad we're okay, too. For a while there, I thought I lost you."

I nodded. "Well, I thought you were going to die, instead Lincoln died and I was trying to be the perfect soldier for Indra. I just-I didn't want to be weak."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Panic spiked in me. "Oh, nothing important. I just meant I had to be focused, I couldn't let myself get distracted and I should've told you that instead of letting you think I hated you. I never blamed you for Lincoln's death."

"How'd you know I thought that?"

"I know you, Murphy. And I'm sorry."

He pouted. "Well, apology not accepted. You hurt my feelings, Little Blake." He feigned a hurt look and turned his head. "I don't think I want to be your friend, it's not worth this personal trauma."

"Yeah, whatever. You love me." I teased.

His eyes turned to mine. There was a lot of unspoken things between us, but for the most part I could tell what he was feeling by his eyes. They gave everything away. Now they were telling me that he wanted me to say something back.

Did I love Murphy? Yes. Was I in love with him? I still didn't know. There were times when I I had no doubt in mind that I had very real feelings for him that weren't going away, feelings that as much as I didn't want to admit it, I started to feel when I was still with Lincoln. As I looked at him now, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to see where this could go, but this wasn't the right time. As I looked at him now, I knew there was so much I didn't know about him, but that I was willing and ready to know him.

"I can't believe things have changed so much. You know, I'm pretty sure I wanted to violently murder you at one point." I gave a wry grin.

"I'm pretty sure you did, too."

"And now..." I didn't think we could be any different, yet we were more alike than I once wanted to admit.

"And now?"

"Would you just kiss already" Richards asked suddenly.

We looked around, almost everyone was awake and starting to follow Jaha down the trail he forged with his walking stick. Had they been awake this whole time?

I carefully rose, reaching my hand out to Murphy. He strongly grasped it as I pulled him up. Whatever we were, I didn't want us not to be-

"Okteivia." Indra called me, then added a few choice words I didn't care for.

I called back, then turned to back to him. "I want you to know that whatever happens with us that I've never had a friend like you."

There was clear disappointment in his eyes. "Ah, a friend?"

I took his hands in mine. "Yes, a friend. A best friend. Even though I haven't been much of one to you lately. And that's not to say that I think of you as just a friend because I don't. You're much more than that, so please remember that if something happens and I'm not me for a while, okay?"

He gave a slight nod, unsure of what to say. I wasn't sure I've ever seen him speechless. He pulled me close, his arms wrapped around me tightly. I relaxed in his embrace, a smile on my lips as my eyes closed. We stayed like that for a few more moments, then he pulled away.

His eyes gazed into mine. "I know that you're not in the same place as me and I'm okay with that. As long as you understand that I'm not going to let you push me away because you think it makes you weak."

I started to object, but he placed his finger on my mouth.

"I'm going to fight for you, O. Trust me, I know how cheesy that sounds, but I'm not going anywhere, so you're going to have to accept that either way." He moved his finger away.

I nodded. "Okay."

He nodded. "Good."

FINN'S POV: Three months ago

"When do you think I'll be okay to walk again?"

Eli looked me over, his eyes before meeting mine. "A month or two."

My eyebrows shot up. "A month or two?"

He headed over to the kitchen area. "You dropped off a cliff, Redshirt" He said with a hint of amusement. "How long would you think it would take?"

I sighed. "I can't let you take care of me for that long, I don't want to impose."

"I don't mind." He started on dinner. "It's been a while since I've had a man in my bed."

"Oh, um..." I didn't know what to say to that.

He grinned. "Did I surprise you with that?"

I shook my head even though his back was turned to me. "I kind of picked it up. You're not very subtle.

He laughed. "I try not to be."

At least one of us wasn't uncomfortable.

"So you like men." I started. "Is that accepted amongst your people?"

"No, that's why I'm all the way out here."

A twinge of sadness ran through me. How sad his life must've been.

"That's not very progressive."

He smirked. "I'm just messing with you. The Commander's a lesbian herself. It's not uncommon."

A sense of relief tugged at my heart. "Well, then our traditions aren't that different aside from your people being savage."

He tasted the soup that was actually growing on me, then he brought it over. "We've had to be." He agreed. "Imagine your world stopped existing as it had for centuries and you're left with no government, no easily accessible resources, no transportation, nothing. You have to survive together. Sooner or later there's going to be chaos. Someone has to step up. Someone has to make the rules and enforce them. Someone has to keep them safe. Someone has to keep everyone else in check with a firm hand and if they don't then things will fall apart. It would be every man for themselves. Eventually, everyone would become purely animalistic, things like love and companionship wouldn't matter." He continued to stare at me. "Isn't that what you all had to experience when you first landed?"

He was right. That was exactly what we had to endure.

"I never thought of it like that." I told him. "Obviously, not all Grounders all the same." I took the bowl from him, his hand lingering, making sure I had a steady hold on it. I cleared my throat. The contact felt different, not because it was a man, but because it was a man who I was almost sure was attracted to me. Sure, I've met gay guys before, but none of them seemed to be interested in me that way.

"So," I took a sip of the soup. "What's in this stuff? Why don't I feel the pain?"

He gave a tight smile. "If I told you then you wouldn't eat it."

My lips stopped on the bowl, my eyes meeting his. "It's not like bugs or anything gross, is it?"

He grinned. "No." He took the bowl from me. "But if you're worried about sea plants and tiny woodland creatures then I should probably figure out another meal plan."

I grinned. "It's fine. I don't hate it."

"I didn't think so, Redshirt."

I gave him a questioning look. "My shirt's not even red."

He laughed. "What do you want to be called then?"

"My name."

"Finn sounds like a fish."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "I've never gotten that before."

Come to think of it, I didn't like Finn either. It was a tainted name. I looked back at Eli. I don't want to be called Finn anymore."

There was understanding in his green eyes. "We all have baggage. I was kidding about the name." He had a faraway look in his eyes. "It's up to you if you let it carry you down or let you grow."

He was right. Besides it wouldn't matter what I was called, when I healed I'd find my way back to the cliff and finish what I started. I couldn't go on like this. It was too hard.

"You want to talk about it?" He offered.

Even know he knew the gist, did I want the one person that was willing to help me to know how messed up I was?

"Come on." He leaned on his knees. "It might help you."

"Not even a little bit."

"Too bad. I'm already expecting a story."

I shook my head with a wry grin. "Just remember that you opened up this can of worms and I had no intention of bring this up."

He lifted a dark eyebrow. "You jump off a cliff and you expect me not to ask questions?"

He was right again. He took care of me without asking anything in return. The last I could do was answer whatever he asked me.

"Alright." I thought back to the moment when I first met Clarke, how much she looked like light in the darkness the council threw us into. How she challenged Bellamy, how she stood up for herself. How she looked at me those first few days. "When we met, I thought here's the Princess, spoiled and entitled. She's never going to last down here, but Clarke was the first person to step up and try and help us survive. And that's what we did. I got to know her and suddenly everything didn't seem so bad. We slept together and then my girlfriend flew down and I completely screwed everything up. I tried to see where things would go with Clarke and she rejected me, so I tried to make it work with Raven."

He gave a small shrug. "That's not uncommon down here. I'm going to guess that they didn't like that?"

"That wasn't my intention. When Raven and I ended things Clarke and I wanted to start things up again, but then the war kind of got in the way and the mountain men took them. I only wish I knew that before I had eighteen people's blood on my hands. And after that she couldn't even look at me and I couldn't blame her."

"This all happened in a month? You seem to like complicated."

I huffed. "I never wanted it to be complicated. I just wanted to be with Clarke.

He nodded. "And now?"

"Now, I'm here with you and she's over there with Bellamy."

Interest darkened his eyes. "Is that the hot tan guy with the dark shaggy hair?"

I nodded.

"He's not too bad looking."

"Gross. He's a major dick. He likes her and it's obvious to everyone but her." Just thinking about them angered me. "You couldn't write the tension between them." I sighed. "I should've fought harder for her."

"Maybe if you fought harder you'd be in a lot more trouble."

"Don't tell me you believe in fate?"

His brow raised. "You don't?"
"Not really." I shook my head. "I've never believe in much but peace and look where that got me."

His eyes softened. "Well, someone was looking out of both of us. You got a savior and I got a puppy eyed hottie in my bed."

"Oh, thanks." I laughed awkwardly.

He smirked as he rose. "You already knew I find you attractive." He said with confidence as he made his way around the room.

I choose not to answer that.

"So are you going to tell me about you or do I have to gu-"

A blonde guy flew into the door. He looked at me for a few moments then turned his not so friendly eyes to Eli. I didn't speak Grounder, but the conversation didn't sound too happy.

Eli forcefully held the guy back. "Easy there." He shoved him a few feet back.

The blonde guy glared at me with resentment thick in his eyes before spitting in my direction and leaving after another heated exchange.

Eli stared after him, his whole body stiff.

The tension was thick in the air.

"Not a fan of me, huh?"

He scoffed and turned to me with a look of resentment, something I hadn't seen, but thought was inevitable. "No." I shook his head. "He's an old friend, always sticking his nose in other's business."

"Do you mean old flame instead?" I asked nervously, waiting for him to go Grounder on me and my broken ass.

"What do you think?" He paced and angrily spoke in Trigedasleng, then went after the blonde guy.

In his absence I thought of how much I had disturbed his life. I barely knew Eli and he'd halted whatever he was doing to heal me after I slaughtered his people. Why was I still here?

With that thought I pushed my body over onto the floor with a thud as I refrained from groaning in excruciating pain. Not even the soup could prevent me from feeling that. For a moment I thought I was going to black out from the agony. Once I caught my breath I attempted to crawl for the exit. Attempted was a bit of a stretch I could barely move without crying out. But I had to keep going. If this was what it took for Eli to get his life back then so be it. He'd be grateful to not have the burden anymore. Maybe if I was lucky enough another Grounder would find me and take it all away. There was no way I'd make it to the cliff this way.

I searched around me. Eli was nowhere around. I could do this. Who knew how long he'd be back. The brisk night air chilled me to the bone. A growling from nearby caught my attention, but in the darkened forest I couldn't see a lot. Branches snapping, leaves rustling, a heavy growl. Then I felt breath raise the hairs on the back my neck.

CLARKE'S POV:

I stirred awake at the incessant sound of an alarm, the sunlight burning my eyes. I rolled over onto the pillow and wrapped the thick covers over me. I reached over and pounded it in hopes to stop the noise, but couldn't find it, so I threw the covers off and saw it sitting there on the bedside table, blinking numbers and all.

I pressed the buttons to make it stop, my heart stopped as it registered. A lamp. My eyes scanned my surroundings. Drapes. A tv. A fridge. A stove. A door. Where was I? Even on the Ark we had technology, but nothing like this.

Shocked, I jumped out of bed and opened the double doors to the balcony, the light blinding me. A gasp left me.

A/N: As a clarification, Clarke isn't back in Mount Weather or anywhere else the show's taken them.