White Eyes
By Perfect Soldier 01
Chapter 12: Resolution
"Zelda?" - "Link!" we cried simultaneously, the chorus of our voices caught somewhere between a ringing smile and a despairing sob as Link edged closer into the haze of the torchlight.
Rising up from my knees, I ran one hand across Link's cheek. "It's really you! I can't believe it. The Fierce Deity -" I faltered, his name too thick and difficult to say without recalling his bitter goodbye. "H-He let you go. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Link answered plainly. "But..." He stopped and looked around him, clearly puzzled by our present location, "where are we?"
I shifted uncomfortably on my knees as a lingering knot of loss tightened around my throat. "We're in the dungeons underneath the castle ruins." His eyes widened. "It's all right," I said as calmly as I could. "It's all over now."
"What's all over?" he asked carefully.
I lowered my gaze toward the heavy mask lying in my hands, hoping that there would be some sliver of comforting reassurance to show me some truth in my words. But the weight and pain of the Fierce Deity's sacrifice still hung silently in his white, soulless eyes, now dead and empty within the confines of his mask. No longer marred by the violent bruises or gritty stains of sweat and dirt, they stared back at me with an accusing cruelty, taunting me with the promise of relief and respite before snatching everything away as I remembered his agonising despair. He had told me that this would put an end to everything, that I could move on with my life and live without his distracting presence, but nothing had resolved itself and I still felt suspended by the tired strings of my bruised and beaten heart being torn in two directions.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the suffocating clench of grief in my throat had swallowed each sound before I even formulated the words on my tongue. Clearing my throat, I started again. "Can you remember anything?"
"Not clearly. I remember you speaking to me, but that felt like as much a dream as anything else. You kept appearing in different places before you vanished again."
"Where?" I said a little too abruptly. "Where did you see me?"
Link looked down and rubbed his forehead as if it would rouse the dormant pool of his memories into a moment of clarity. "It's difficult to say," he said with a frustrated sigh. "It was often white though, white like the mountain snow. But it was almost as if the sun was constantly shining in my eyes – too bright to really tell what I was looking at. I missed you though," he said, reaching out and nuzzling his knuckles across the curve of my cheek.
"I missed you too," I said, hugging him tightly before the bitter sting of my deceit could break us apart.
"Tell me what's wrong," Link murmured warmly, but the depth of his empathy was almost too much for me to bear.
"There was a slight...misunderstanding," I said slowly, making sure I wouldn't tumble too far ahead into a flustered trap of lies. "Just after you...transformed, a messenger came from Castle Town. He told me that your statue was finished and he asked me to come down and see it – but I couldn't leave the Fierce Deity in the manor so I brought him with me and -" I stopped, lost for an explanation. "And he..."
"Take your time," Link said gently, rubbing my back through the prison bars just like he always used to do when I was upset.
"I don't deserve you," I replied with a sad smile.
"Don't be daft," he chided, placing a small kiss on my forehead.
"How do you always know the right thing to say?"
"Practice," he said simply. "Now tell me what happened."
"He..." But I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. "It doesn't matter. We're both here now and that's all that matters," I said dismissively, knowing very well that my answer wouldn't be at all sufficient.
"It does matter," Link answered, sitting back on his heels so he could see me. "I may not – what are those marks on your neck?" he said suddenly, and my eyes widened as he narrowed his gaze into an unnerving scrutiny.
"What? No, no, these are nothing, nothing at all," I said hastily, tugging my scarf across the offending patch of skin as my cheeks grow hot and flushed.
"Did he do that to you?" he said, looking at me with a deadly seriousness.
"N-no!" I lied impulsively, my heart pounding too loudly for me to hear my answer.
Link then crossed his arms, his unease dissipating too slowly for my own liking as he watched me compose myself with a close scrutiny. I too shrank back into the darkness, hoping that the slightly weaker light would help hide my shame, but I could feel his intent stare refusing to move. I dreaded the moment when he realised what they were, and I froze when his eyes flickered down towards the mask.
"I may not be able to remember what I saw, Zelda, but I know very well what he felt," he said sternly, my heart sinking at every word. "I felt it all – every minute change and tremor... everything – and just now something made him terribly angry. He was so full of blood and revenge, so much more than I thought possible for anyone to feel. I need to know what he did, Zelda."
I blinked, expecting him to accuse me of betraying his trust and all the other horrific crimes I had committed, but when I realised that he wasn't going to say any more, I couldn't help but let out an inward sigh of relief.
It had been a long time since Link had spoken to me this seriously, possibly not since that night he had stormed into my chamber after I had banished him back to the forest. His grave, passive expression, the grim line of his lips, and the nearly-wild yet focused gleam in his eyes was exactly the same, the only difference being that he was no longer illuminated by the calm and quiet blue light of the moon. Instead, the mad heat of the fire beside us danced tirelessly over his features, surrounding him in an almost unearthly blaze, and I began to understand that apologies wouldn't be enough to save us this time. We had stepped out of our familiar territory and entered into something wholly more significant. This wasn't about fixing our past mistakes anymore; it was about forging a way for the future, and if I wasn't careful then I would end up burning the only bridge I had left.
But just as I prepared myself to tell the rest of the story, the long, dark shadows cast over Link's face brought me to another grinding halt. They were all centred around his eyes and cheeks, and his hair lent itself perfectly to creating the illusion of the Fierce Deity's pointed markings. If the mask hadn't been lying on the floor before me, it would have seemed like he was sitting there right in front of me, as if he had never let Link out of his grasp at all. I tried to ignore it and blink it away, but no matter how hard I tried his ghost continued to loiter in front of my eyes.
"H-He told me about the man who imprisoned him in his mask," I stammered, tearing my gaze away to where the Fierce Deity couldn't intrude. "He was a travelling musician and he was responsible for creating both the Fierce Deity Mask and Majora's Mask. But when we saw your statue, he...he thought that you were that man. He called me a liar and then he chased me out of the town walls." I paused, shivering as the racing panic that had nearly burst through my veins during my horse's flight resurfaced underneath my skin. "He caught me, and he grabbed me and held me against a tree with one hand," I continued, mimicking the action rather clinically with my hand around my throat. "I managed to talk some sense into him, but the guards then took him away and brought him here."
A silence then fell between us, the cracking flames the only sound interrupting the empty space that separated us. I looked tentatively at Link's stationary form, hoping that I would see him and him alone without the glare of the Fierce Deity staring back at me, and thankfully he had moved since the beginning of my speech and the shadows had morphed back into plain, unrecognisable shapes. His frown gradually loosened, almost as if there were invisible hands behind his brow slowly unravelling the creases of his skin, but he nevertheless remained in firm possession of his rigid determination.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise," he said dejectedly. "Are you all right?"
"I-I'm fine," I replied, not really sure whether I was fine or not. "It's okay."
"No, it's not okay," he said, his voice trailing off uneasily.
"Why not?"
Before answering Link inhaled deeply and ran both of his hands through his hair. "I can't be the one who walks out of here, Zelda."
My mouth dropped. "W-What?"
"The guards locked away the Fierce Deity."
"So?"
"As far as they're concerned, I'm still in the manor. If they see me here with the mask, it will look like I'm the one who hurt you like that," he said motioning towards my neck.
"I'll send the guards away," I said, somehow feeling as though I had been let off the hook too easily.
"Zelda, you know they would never agree to that. You're their princess – they would be neglecting their duty to leave you alone completely. You might have persuaded them to leave you here now, but I bet they're waiting close-by in case of any danger. And even if they did leave, it wouldn't be easy to get me out of here without being seen. It would be too risky."
"But you can't put the mask back on."
"We don't have any other choice."
"But I only just got you back!" I cried, and we simultaneously joined one another at the bars again, my hands encircling his in a tight fist of protest. "I can't lose you again!"
"Listen, Zelda," he pleaded, pressing his forehead against mine as far as the bars would let us. "I don't want this anymore than you do, but there's something inside him that needs resolving, I can feel it. Something isn't right. I don't know what it is, but there's a part of him that knows nothing but endless sorrow and heartache. No one should have to bear such pain, but I'm not in a position to help him. You're the only one who can save him."
"No."
"Zelda, please," he entreated.
"No!" I cried again, certain that letting go of Link now would make him lost to me forever. "What happens if he won't take the mask off again? What happens if I can't find a way to save him?" What happens if I start falling in love with him again? I added silently.
"I know you can do it."
"No."
"He trusts you."
I leapt away from Link in shock, thinking it was too unlikely to be true. "He trusts me?"
"I'm certain of it," Link replied. "Just before you brought me back it felt like he was hoping for something still to come. It might not seem like it, but I think he needs your help."
Sinking back down onto my heels, I realised that I had never really thought about what I meant to the Fierce Deity. Perhaps he had been wrong in dismissing his feelings as mere imitations of Link's affections. Maybe he did have sentiments of his own. The thought of him trusting me, hoping for the day when I would come back to help him, sent a bubbling rush of excitement through me, and my heart swelled inside my chest with the thought of being able to tell the Fierce Deity the truth about the feelings he had denied himself.
But at the same time I became aware of something else altogether, something competing alongside it and fighting to be savoured with equal relish. It was a sensation all too familiar, one that reminded me of days gone by in quiet serenity, and I gradually realised that the real driving force behind my growing anticipation was the debt of gratitude I owed to Link's kindness. He was forfeiting everything, for me, for us, and most of all for the Fierce Deity, returning the gamble that the god had placed in him.
It was time for me to make a decision; I had to make a choice and follow it through without any second glances. The Fierce Deity himself had said that he couldn't be what I wanted him to be, and I knew now what he meant. Taking a deep breath, I reached behind me to where I had left the mask, allowing myself one last small smile as I held it up in front of me. I would help him and be by his side as long as he needed me, but after that everything had to finish.
"Here," I said, handing it to Link through the bars.
Our fingers lingered over each other, silently seeking permission and assurance of our mutual decision, and I realised how much I had missed our subtle mode of intuitive communication. There was a far deeper level of understanding between us that didn't exist with the Fierce Deity, and while I wished there had been more time to say goodbye to Link, I smiled encouragingly and squeezed his fingers as I let go. Link then reached out and tilted the crook of my chin up towards him, and I rose up to embrace him. Cradling the back of my head in his free hand, he placed another chaste kiss on my forehead as the cold, rusty bars pressed into my chest and face.
"I love you. Don't forget that," I said, my voice trembling slightly.
"Of course I won't," he replied. "Don't be silly."
We were so close that his breath whispered across my lips and I closed my eyes, listening to the comforting sound wash through my senses, utterly content with his close proximity.
But a sudden trickle of clicks on the stairs made both of us jump. "Zelda? Zelda, are you all right?"
"It's Impa," I said anxiously, my eyes darting to the entrance of the prison as I tried to discern how close she was by the volume of her footsteps.
"We better say goodbye then," Link replied.
"For now," I corrected him with a final smile.
"For now," he agreed.
I kissed him quickly and then Link put the mask back on his face. Just like before his body shot backwards as he cast his eyes skyward, and the familiar white light enveloped him in a swift and blinding radiance. I dreaded the awful scream that had previously accompanied his last transformation, but the only sound that rang through my ears was the pealing sheen of the white magic at work.
Everything then fell back into darkness and once my vision adjusted to the growing gloom of the dungeon, the Fierce Deity eventually staggered out from his short-lived slumber. He groaned and rubbed his head lethargically, muttering curses to himself as he began to take note of his surroundings. It was only when he saw me sitting in front of him again that he jerked into motion.
"What the hell have you done?" he barked bewilderedly. "Why did you bring me back? You damned stupid woman! You weren't meant to choose me! You were meant to choose him!"
"I have chosen him!" I cried with equal force, silencing him at once. "But I've also chosen to help you put a proper end to all this, so shut up and start co-operating."
He blinked in stunned surprise, but I was saved the hassle of any retaliation when Impa and the guards she had dismissed earlier appeared at the doorway. "Zelda, is everything all right? You've been done here for a while and the guards were getting concerned."
"Everything's fine," I said decisively, rising to greet them. Striding toward the guards, I felt the comforting authority of my royal facade spur into action. "I want the Fierce Deity let out of here immediately and transferred up to the manor's stronghold," I ordered. "He's no use to anyone down here, so could you kindly unlock his cell and prepare him for the journey ahead? Take whatever precautions you deem necessary."
"A-As you wish, your majesty," they stammered, not daring to answer back.
"Thank you," I said. "Impa, I need to speak with the colonel and apologise for this embarrassment. I think we'll have to postpone all this until another time."
"Yes, princess."
I heard the satisfying twist of a lock and clattering bolts behind me, and the two of us ascended the winding staircase while the guards tended to the Fierce Deity, my sense of purpose burning more brightly than ever before.
AN: A little shorter than normal, so I apologise if this went rather quickly, but I really wanted this reunion to be a whole chapter in itself rather than getting bogged down in the Fierce Deity's return. I found this chapter quite difficult to write, especially in terms of achieving the right tone. I hope it fits in with what has come before! I didn't want Zelda to feel too eager to get the Fierce Deity back - after all, she still loves Link - but I also didn't want her to come across as melodramatic in her guilt, so your thoughts on this would be really helpful! :)
So, will Zelda be able to keep her promise? Find out in the next chapter (which I'm estimating will be up within a month or possibly sooner - I've got lots of deadlines and exams coming up in the next week or so, but after that Chapter 13 is the first thing on my 'To Do' list :D)!
Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed so far :)
Until the next chapter, Perfect Soldier 01
