DISCLAIMER: still not mine.

((AN: Divodog I wanted to reply to your awesome reviews but since your PMs are off I'll just use this small space to say: you're one of the main reasons I'm still writing this thing. Thank you for the support and the enthusiastic and thoughtful reviews. They're really enjoyable to read and get me thinking about things.))

May 1996

They stood on a lightly snow-capped mountain overlooking a huge city. The skyline was fairly impressive, large high-rises soaring above the ground, surrounded by a sea of steel and concrete. Smaller buildings and wide highways fanned out from around the towering giants, stretching as far as the eye could see.

The orange glow on the horizon in the distance almost made it seem as though the sun had just set but it was only the countless lights from the city, the full moon was high overhead. Natsuki vaguely remembered that she had gone into her room to lie down after training, inexplicably tired considering it was only late afternoon. She could see the large form of Duran in her peripheral vision as her eyes scanned the vaguely familiar skyline, though she knew for certain she had never been to this city. "Where are we?" She asked her silent companion.

The location is unimportant to me, it is one of the countless cities that you humans have been building so large of late. I couldn't be bothered to learn its name. The pale wolf swished his bushy tail in an agitated fashion. I don't understand how you humans can stand being so close together all the time.

Natsuki just shrugged, not terribly interested in attempting to explain human behavioural patterns to her friend, especially not ones that she sometimes questioned herself. She and Midori had visited Fujikawa's apartment one night after walking him home from work and she was shocked to find that she could have fit the whole thing in her room back at the Fujinos'. He didn't even have his own toilet; he had to share with his next door neighbour!

She thought back to her increasingly fading memories of the time when she lived alone with her mother, before she was made a Slayer. Her mother had always seemed so worried and sad when she thought Natsuki wasn't looking, and while they always had enough to eat it was only just enough. If her mother had lost her job, or their landlord had raised their rent even a little things could have gone bad rather quickly. "Humans don't always live how they want to." She finally offered in explanation, "Sometimes they even have to live in ways they hate in order to survive."

But yet they still continue to fight, even though it all seems so hopeless. Duran let out a deep rumbling grunt, I suppose even normal humans have something of a warrior's spirit in them. It is admirable.

Natsuki nodded, thinking of her late mother, and of Fujikawa and Yohko-sensei. "It is..." She murmured, before remembering her initial question. "Well we have to be here for a reason don't we? I mean I don't mind just spending time with you, but we don't normally do that."

Her guide gave his snorting chuckle, I know we don't Natsuki. The Powers don't like me to spend too much time talking to you unless it's Mission related, and already I give you more help and information than they would prefer.

The Slayer turned to look at her guide with concern, "You aren't going to get in trouble with them are you?"

The wolf raised his great shoulders in an approximation of a shrug, They can't do anything to me. Anyway, I brought you here because apparently this is where the new Chosen One of the Powers has been activated. She's not to stay here, but I thought this place had good scenery even if I wouldn't want to actually live here.

Natsuki raised an eyebrow at this statement, "I thought there was always a Chosen One active."

There is. But they tell me that this one is going to be special. She's going to change everything.

"They don't think I'm special?" She asked softly, she had been wondering lately how she was different from the "real" Slayer. She'd asked Midori about it a few times, but the question seemed to upset her Watcher, causing her to get all defensive on Natsuki's behalf. Also Midori didn't seem to be able to give her many answers, saying that the records they had been able to recover from the First District were "shockingly lacking".

Duran huffed loudly, turning his head so that he could nuzzle her hair with his soft nose, his breath hot yet comforting against her neck. I think you're special. I would not have gifted my power to just anyone.

Natsuki looked up into his glowing green eyes, eyes that were the same colour as her own. "Sometimes I wonder why you picked me though."

He chuckled again, So do all who are ever Chosen... it's not really so simple as that though. I didn't really know ahead of time that this offer would be made to me, it's just that when I saw you... well I just knew that you had the potential to do great good.

"That makes me feel a bit better. So I just need to keep doing my best?"

That's all you can do. Keep fighting with all that you have for those you care about now, and be constantly on the lookout for new people who are also worth caring about. They need not all be aware of your Calling but anyone who offers you a connection to the world strengthens your will to fight for it. And that keeps everyone safer.

"Thank you Duran."

He just shook his large head, I wish I could offer you more help than words. So far we've been lucky; your city might be popular with humans, but since its Hellmouth inactive none of the vampires or demons there are organized. None of the more powerful dark forces are aware of your existence yet, but you won't remain so low profile forever.

Dark times are coming Natsuki. Not tomorrow, or even next year, but they might be here too soon all the same. Both you and this new Chosen One, if she does as well as the Powers hope, will be tested more than any one individual should be. I can't see the exact shape of things to come, only the dark clouds on the horizon, but there were many humans who still called me by name the last time I saw a storm this bad.

"That is the life of a Slayer though, the constant conflict and fighting. It's like we almost need it to feel alive." Natsuki said, using the same tone she would use to reassure Midori that she accepted the responsibility of her calling.

But you remember that there are feelings that make you want to stop fighting altogether. Things can happen that will make you want to quit because it seems pointless to continue the fight.

Natsuki thought back to a time two months ago when she had witnessed a young woman, no older than twenty, get her throat ripped out by a vampire. Natsuki had been rounding the corner of the alley, having heard sounds of the struggle... only to be moments too late. By the time she was through with him the vampire was begging to be staked and put out of his misery. She'd gouged his eyes, sawed off his right arm and leg with her trusty knife and had been slowly carving off the fingers of his left hand when Midori had finally stepped in and staked the vamp herself. She had looked at Natsuki with worry and compassion in her eyes and told the Slayer the old line of how she couldn't possibly be everywhere at once. She couldn't save everyone. "I hate it when I can't be there in time to protect someone. It hurts even if that person was a stranger."

And it hurts even more if that person is someone you care about. The more people you care about, the more chance it will be one of them. But you need to have enough people to care about so that you won't lose everyone. He gazed into her eyes, A wolf without a pack doesn't have much reason to keep living... he can survive but he is weak without their support, and he lacks the will to fight as hard without the motivation to protect.

"I don't want to lose anyone else." The Slayer breathed out, feeling the loss of her mother anew.

Duran whimpered softly as he nosed her hair again, Of course, no one ever wants that. But it is inevitable. Nothing lives forever in this world; even 'immortal' vampires inevitably die eventually. Even gods can be killed, or like a wolf without a pack... sometimes when there are no longer those that worship them, they simply lose the will to keep existing and simply... fade away...

Wolf and Slayer sat together on the cold snow of the mountain for a long while as they contemplated the inevitability of pain and remembered those they cared about; Duran's only memories of long ago save for the one girl sitting beside him now. In the city below them there was another girl who was confused by the strange new power within her. She too gazed up into a sky that glowed with city lights, as yet unaware of the true weight of the destiny resting squarely on her small shoulders.

-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-

Tokyo, Japan: July 1996

Midori and Natsuki stood together in the crowd that had gathered along the bank of the river that runs through Tokyo. They and the others were here for Toro Nagashi, a ceremony held at the end of Obon every year. Nearly everyone present held wood and paper lanterns bearing the names of lost loved ones that would soon be sent floating down the river towards the sea. She and Midori were each holding two lanterns. Midori had one for each of her parents, Natsuki had one for her mother and one for the Slayer that she knew had died earlier this year. She didn't know the name of the Slayer, so she had simply painted the kanji for "chosen samurai" on the thin paper. The sun was setting.

Natsuki did not consider herself to be a particularly devout Buddhist, but she had still spent the previous days remembering her mother and the fallen Slayer as well as those who came before her. She and Midori had hung lanterns outside of their house to welcome the souls of their lost loved ones home. Natsuki had briefly questioned Midori if such lanterns could double as invitations for vampires, but Midori had assured her they would not as they welcomed home the souls of the deceased, and a vampire no longer had the soul of the human whose body they possessed. Midori also couldn't say if the departed souls were really able to return home for a few days, but she had explained that it was just nice to take some time every year to remember them regardless.

Natsuki bowed slightly to the kind old man with smiling eyes as she handed him her lanterns to put on his small wooden boat. He and others were ferrying lanterns out to the centre of the river to start them on their journey. She swallowed down her sadness as she watched the little man slowly rowing away from the bank of the river, wishing that things could stay how they were these past few days. She had enjoyed spending time with her mother again, even if it was just symbolic. She sighed; the rest of the year had to be for the living. It was time to say goodbye again for now. I love you mom.

Natsuki and Midori stood by the river until after sunset, watching the countless paper lanterns meandering down the river. The soft gold light from their candles reflected off the water, making the river itself seem to glow around them. When it was full dark, the sky lit up and their ears were ringing with the sound of fireworks that marked the end of Obon in Tokyo this year. The sight of the explosions of coloured light in the sky behind the river of tiny glowing lanterns was beautiful. Natsuki spared another moment of silence for the countless Slayers who had fought and died, probably alone, so that they could be having this celebration. Her chest felt full with pride that someone had thought her worthy to be one of them, no matter what the personal cost might be. I won't forget you. Thank you.

-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-

Fujino Residence: December 1996

It had been a long four years, Natsuki reflected as she stood leaning up against the wall in between Takeda and Kenji watching as Tate and Reito played a game of pool. But even though she had fought so many battles in that time and had almost managed to complete elementary school, she could hardly believe that this was already the fourth birthday party of Shizuru's that she had attended. She could hardly believe that her friend had turned thirteen last week.

She gazed across the room at where Shizuru and the other girls were playing mah-jong. Yukino appeared to be sitting this round out, but Natsuki could tell that she was really helping Haruka. The Slayer grinned as she heard Chie's enthusiastic "Ron!" a moment after Haruka had made her discard, Well Yukino's trying to help her anyways.

Natsuki sighed longingly, wondering again why she was over here playing pool with the boys when she had been wanting to spend time with Shizuru for weeks. This year Shizuru had begun attending junior high school across town and Natsuki was still stuck at Kumagawa Gakuen. She still had Yukino and Kenji to keep her company, but it just wasn't the same. Lately she'd hardly even been able to spend any time with Shizuru after school to do homework or anything, because Shizuru was always staying after school for some club activity or other and by the time she got home it was dark and Natsuki had to be out slaying. Natsuki had managed to set things up so she did her training with her Watcher in the afternoons so she sometimes had a couple hours to spend with Shizuru in the evenings... still though. It seemed like she hardly saw her friend these days. And here I am in the same room with her and still not able to even talk to her.

Shizuru had really started to grow into a beautiful young woman this last year too. Natsuki was still getting used to how much she had to look up to meet her friend's eyes as she was almost 5'6" now. Midori of course had been teasing her Slayer relentlessly about how she would forever be the short one, as Natsuki still hadn't cracked 5'. She had a good feeling about the next few years though. She knew she'd never be catching up with her Watcher height wise, but she felt that she'd be able to catch up with Shizuru at least. After all who's ever heard of a really freaking short Slayer? I mean it's fine if you're eight, but if I'm still so short when I'm twenty I might cry.

She grinned at Shizuru as their eyes met across the room, offering her a small wave. The older girl just gave her a playful wink in return before turning back to her game. Frustrated she finally gave in to the temptation, figuring she didn't care so much about winning their stupid pool tournament anyway even if she hated to let Reito win. "Hey Kenji-kun, I'm gonna go over and hang out with Shizuru for a bit."

Kenji nodded looking like he wished he could follow her, he hated pool. She didn't give him the chance though, not wanting him there to provide an extra distraction from her Shizuru time.

"Hey ladies... and Chie." She greeted playfully as she pulled up a chair next to Shizuru, laughing at the rude gesture Chie sent her way.

"Soo glad you could join us Natsuki-kun." Chie replied sarcastically as the others laughed, even Haruka who even now seemed to resent Natsuki's inclusion in Shizuru's circle of acquaintances. Perhaps even more than she did years ago since Natsuki and Yukino were rather close friends.

"You don't mind if I sit here right Shizuru?" She asked shyly, cursing how the confidence that she felt in most situations still seemed to just fly out the window when it came to Shizuru.

"Natsuki may sit anywhere she likes." Shizuru teased, drawing a tile.

Taking a quick glance at her friend's hand Natsuki tried not to let her eyes bug out and give away the danger to the others. Natsuki wasn't exactly a mah-jong expert or anything but even she recognized the almost complete thirteen orphans. She just sat talking quietly with Yukino about school until she heard the cries of despair from the other three when Shizuru tsumoed two turns later. "Argh why do we even bother?" Haruka exclaimed, bringing a fist down onto the table and making the tiles jump.

Natsuki laughed as she gave her friend a hug, "Because it's only right that the birthday girl win right?"

Chie sighed dramatically, "I might accept your explanation Natsuki-kun... except that Shizuru-san also seems to win almost every other day as well."

Shizuru just shrugged a mysterious smile on her face, though Natsuki was sure she saw a flash of sadness in those crimson eyes, "Luck is luck. It cannot stay either good or bad forever. If we keep playing mine is sure to fail me at some point."

Chie nodded sagely scratching her chin as though deep in thought, "Perhaps that would be so if mah-jong was a game of pure chance, but your skill carries you where luck alone cannot."

"Thank you, Chie-san is most kind."

"Shizuru-san is your family doing anything special for winter break?" Yukino asked diplomatically.

"Maybe for New Years, I don't know that they have any definite plans." Again there was that familiar undercurrent of sadness.

Natsuki leaned in closer to Shizuru, speaking softly so the others could not overhear, "Hey do you think we could spend some time together, alone for a bit? I feel like we hardly see each other... and I wanted to talk about what seems to be always bothering you this time of year." Shizuru actually flinched slightly at the suggestion, but nodded anyway. "Thank you Shizuru, I know this is difficult for you, but I really just want to be there for you. You need to let me in."

"Tonight after dinner." She spoke softly; obviously not ready to talk just yet even though in Natsuki's opinion they had been due to discuss this for years.

"After dinner then." She stood up then and nodded to the others, "Alright, I see Takeda trying to get my attention, guess it's finally my turn again. Thanks for letting me watch Shizuru kick all your asses."

Haruka scoffed loudly, "As far as I'm concerted you're never wanted here."

"Concerned." Yukino corrected automatically before glancing apologetically at Natsuki who just shrugged off the apology, not really caring too much either way about Haruka's rude attitude. She gave Shizuru another hug and waved to the others before she headed back over to the pool table to do some metaphorical ass kicking of her own.

After dinner Natsuki and Shizuru walked upstairs together into the deserted library. The other kids, who this year were all going to be staying over for a sleepover, were all still downstairs. Shizuru settled down in one of the huge comfortable chairs where she had spent many hours reading, Natsuki perched on the large upholstered arm of the chair, sitting with her back partially against the tall back of the chair and her legs dangling off the end.

Natsuki reached over and traced the new necklace around Shizuru's neck, two snakes one gold and one black intertwined in a circular form, their bodies crossing in the middle in an infinity pattern, their heads biting each other's tails. "I hope you like it alright. It will make more sense once you read the books I got you too... I swear the fact that you like snakes so much is like the only nongirly thing about you." Natsuki said, the replica of the Auryn having been one of the things Natsuki got her friend for her birthday, along with Japanese translations of the whole Neverending Story series. Natsuki knew they were kindof kid books, but Shizuru had said she hadn't read them and she wanted to since they were favourites of Natsuki's. She had even gotten Midori to cast a protective blessing on the necklace so that it worked against vampires the same way that a cross would. Not that Shizuru knew about that part, it just made Natsuki feel better.

Shizuru smiled sweetly at her younger friend, "I love it, thank you Natsuki." She gave a shrug, "I really don't know why it is that I like snakes so much. I just feel some strange affinity for them. They are rather mysterious and often dangerous, but there's something beautiful about them to me as well." She trailed off thoughtfully, and then added with a smile, "They also like sunbathing and I can relate to that."

The Slayer nodded, "You just like what you like I guess. I can kindof see what you mean about them I guess." She grinned and reached out and poked her friend's nose playfully, "Plus they're one of the only animals that have as good of a poker face as you do."

The older girl smirked, "This is true too."

Natsuki reached out and ran her fingers through Shizuru's soft wavy hair, "To most people it might be anyway. But Shizuru..." Green eyes searched rust, "I see you. I pay attention, like you told me that time. I can tell when you're just pretending that everything's alright but it's really not." Natsuki sighed, trying to find the right words. It surprised her how good she'd gotten with expressing her feelings over the years, living with Midori had been so helpful in getting her to open up to people again. "You know that I like to protect the people I care about whenever I can. I can tell that whatever's bothering you isn't the kind of thing that my normal strength can really help with... but if you'd let me I'd still like to be here for you."

Shizuru gazed up into her friend's bright green eyes for a little while, and for once didn't attempt to mask her emotions. Natsuki just sat quietly, allowing the older girl to take her time as she played with her friend's hair that these days was almost a golden colour thanks to the highlights that she had professionally put into it. The Slayer thought it was a good look on Shizuru, it was... warm. She always associated with Shizuru with warmth, her rust coloured eyes and how she could always seem to bring a hot blush to Natsuki's face without any effort at all.

They had been sitting together for a while, and Natsuki had almost begun to think that Shizuru still wasn't quite ready to trust her with her pain when finally the older girl spoke, "This time of year... it's hard for my family. A few years or so before you came to live with us my mother was so happy because she had just found out that she was pregnant again. She had really wanted another child, maybe more than just one more. She gave birth to my brother a day after my birthday... I was so excited about meeting him... but..." She stopped looking down at her hands, picking nervously at the light lavender polish on her perfectly manicured nails. She let out a ragged breath before she continued, "He was not well when he was born. The doctors never did figure out exactly what it was, some lung infection or something that he had from the first day. They tried everything, kept him in the hospital on antibiotics and artificial breathing... he had the best medical treatment that money can buy. It just wasn't enough. He died a week later."

She looked up at Natsuki, tears in eyes that had darkened to crimson. Natsuki just held her friend close, she knew that Shizuru allowed herself to cry even less often than she did and knew that her friend needed to allow herself to in order to heal. "My mother, well she's just never been the same. I found out later that she also had a couple of miscarriages a few years before that I didn't know about at the time because I was too young to really understand what was happening. But actually giving birth to him and then having him die anyway even after everything..." Shizuru shook her head sadly, "Now these days it just seems like my mother is barely there. She just goes through the motions. I know she loves me, but it's like she's afraid to let me be too close to her because she doesn't want to lose me too." She just shrugged, "So I guess that's why we never celebrate Christmas. It's hardly a big holiday but plenty of people do celebrate it to have a bit of fun for the end of the year... and anything to just bring a little happiness to our house this time of year seems like it could only be a good thing... but I don't want to push my mother."

Natsuki thought for a moment, trying to think of any way that she could help her friend. "Um... well maybe if you wanted... well maybe you could spend Christmas with me and Midori. Like you could sleep over at our house on Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day we could go to the city and do something." She glanced over to see that Shizuru was staring at her, her red eyes wide in surprise, "I mean... we celebrate it a bit more seriously than most people in our country do, since Midori's dad was a Christian. Midori and I aren't really but we celebrate it so that she can remember him you know? Not too seriously or anything. We usually just watch A Charlie Brown Christmas and then go to a midnight candlelight service at a nearby church on Christmas Eve..."

Shizuru shook her head, "I don't have a problem with doing any of that, I'm sorry if you had that impression. That sounds like it would be nice if you're sure that Midori wouldn't mind me imposing on your time together."

"Don't be silly Shizuru, you're family to us." She caught those crimson eyes with her own, trying to convey her sincerity, "You are always welcome at our house alright? I know it seems like Midori and I are really close, but we both care about you and your family a lot too."

Shizuru gave her a shaky smile, "Thank you. Natsuki is very sweet."

"Well don't tell anyone about that, I do have a reputation to keep up." She gave her friend a playful wink, "Anyway I'll let Midori know about our slight change of plans, I know that she'll be happy to have you over for the holiday. She always loves getting new converts to Charlie Brown too. Next Halloween you'll have to watch The Great Pumpkin with us too."

"Thanks Natsuki. I need to double check with my dad but I'm almost certain he won't have a problem with it." She again dropped sad eyes to study her hands, "I doubt my mother will even notice if I'm here or not."

They stayed there in the library together, Natsuki holding her friend loosely in her arms until Hirotaka came and found them. He seemed thrilled that Natsuki had offered an idea to help cheer his daughter up. It usually took almost all of his energy this time of year to keep his wife from falling into an extreme depression, but he always worried that Shizuru might be suffering as a result. He made a note to himself to thank his good friend Midori if this had been her idea.

-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-

Natsuki grinned at her reflection in the mirror, rather pleased that she managed to pull off this look. She had on a plain long sleeved black shirt, having ripped the whole right sleeve off and instead replaced it with a wool armband over her forearm. Over top of that she wore a tight, black leather vest with a black leather armour practice pad over her left shoulder, and fingerless black leather gloves on both hands. On her legs she wore slightly baggy black leather cargo pants. The large silver cross around her neck for once rested outside her clothes completing the outfit.

She was so excited about the new Final Fantasy game being released next month that she had gotten Midori to help her with finding clothes so that she could dress up like the main character. She had been seeing so much promo art of him for what felt like forever. She didn't really care that this outfit was probably going to earn some strange looks when they went to the midnight church service later, and she knew Midori wouldn't either. Her Watcher actually seemed to enjoy doing things that would earn her annoyed looks from stuffy people. Plus Midori actively encouraged her Slayer's interest in the Final Fantasy games claiming she doubted that Natsuki would ever learn Japanese reading well enough to pass without them.

Hearing a soft knock at the front door Natsuki charged out of her room to answer it, nearly trampling over Midori who was walking out of her room. "Oi! Watch where you're running you beast!"

Natsuki just laughed, before skidding to a stop when she reached the door. Running her hand through her hair she took a calming breath before sliding the door open. For a moment she could only stand there silently, staring. There was Shizuru, looking more beautiful than Natsuki had ever seen her in a long dark plum colour velvet dress that elegantly hugged her newly developed curves. Her hair was done up in two long braids down the side of her face and a loose ponytail in the back, the fringe of her bangs hanging down loosely framing her sparkling red eyes. Not only was she beautiful, she had somehow managed to dress almost exactly like the girl from the promos for the new Final Fantasy. Had she done that on purpose? Natsuki dismissed the idea; Shizuru didn't pay attention to things like videogames. Still it was a happy coincidence.

"Um... Shizuru! You look... nice." She immediately blushed hotly, "I mean better than nice, you look really pretty."

Shizuru just gave that mysterious smile of hers, "Thank you Natsuki. May I come in?" She asked raising an eyebrow at her friend's flustered appearance.

"Oh, yeah, uh sure." She hastily stepped aside to allow Shizuru to enter their house.

"Natsuki looks very dashing tonight." Shizuru teased, looking down into her friend's eyes playfully. "I didn't realize they made leather things in your size though."

The Slayer growled a bit, "Hey, there are plenty of short women in this country that probably like to wear leather as much as I do."

Midori walked into the room and headed for the small kitchen, "Hey there Shizuru-chan! I'm really happy you could make it."

Shizuru smiled politely, "Thank you for inviting me Midori-san."

The redhead gave the girl a sharp look, "Shizuru-chan of course I would invite you. You're like a niece or something to me."

Shizuru nodded, the shyness that she rarely displayed these days returned as she gazed down at her feet. "Thank you." She replied softly.

"Yah no problem. Now! I got adventurous and made cookies to aid in our holiday celebration!" Midori proclaimed theatrically, removing a Tupperware container from one of the cabinets.

Natsuki scoffed openly, "You made cookies? Midori you got the kind that come in a roll and all you do is cut it."

"Shut it you! I'll have you know I did actually use those cool cookie cutter things to make them into festive shapes! Also I applied sprinkles and was able to bake them in the oven without burning our house down." She grinned shoving the container across the counter towards the two girls, "And they're not even burnt or anything. That should count as baking right Shizuru-chan?"

"They look great Midori-san." Shizuru replied politely, daintily taking a star shaped one with red sprinkles.

Natsuki just laughed but she grabbed a snowman one with icing anyway, "Yeah they are pretty good I guess."

Midori walked around the counter to poke her Slayer in the stomach, "Whatever you. I know where all the cookies I made last week disappeared to."

The young Slayer grinned cheekily, "Huh? Did you find the cookie monster that was hiding out in our cabinets?" She laughed as Midori smacked her lightly upside the head. "Eh I'm sorry! I'll admit it! You make the best cookies ever Midori-sama!" Shizuru just stood by watching them, smiling shyly at their antics and wishing idly that her family could interact in such a carefree way.

"Alright kids, it's time to get started with the movie! There's ham biscuits and potato salad with a disgusting amount of mayonnaise in it in the fridge too if you want anything else to eat Shizuru-chan."

"Eh I thought it was a perfectly normal amount of mayo!"

"It's perfectly disgusting. The potato and celery are practically floating."

Shizuru tried to keep her expression neutral and polite, but her voice betrayed a bit of her disgust as she replied, "No that's ok Midori-san. I ate dinner before I came over."

The Slayer just shrugged, trying not to be offended, "Whatever, that just means there's more for me."

"Ick whatever, just try not to sit somewhere where I can see you eat that crap." The Watcher teased as she set up the VCR while the two girls got settled on the leather sofa. She hit play and went to go sprawl on her favourite chair a relaxed smile on her face.

The movie didn't have any subtitles, but Shizuru did well enough in English and the plot and dialogue were easy to follow. It was a cute movie and Shizuru could see why Midori was such a big fan. She didn't personally know that much about the holiday of Christmas, but still there was a universal quality to the movie with the way characters seemed to place so much value on having friends who are family. Shizuru supposed that since her family had so much money she really did know for certain that the movie was right; having family was much more important than having pretty things any time of year.

The warmth that she felt sitting here with Natsuki and Midori was almost painful, since she still wasn't sure that she belonged here. Just for these couple of days though she decided to allow herself to believe their assurances that she was family. Even if she felt a little bit like that pitiful Christmas tree in the movie, just something that for this brief time had been brought in from the cold and given the gift of knowing what love feels like.

-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-BtVS-MH-

The church was a small grey stone building on the outskirts of the city a short drive from the Fujino Estate. It looked almost as though it could belong in the English countryside instead of here in Japan. The small parking lot was packed with cars when they arrived, and they entered the small sanctuary to find it packed as it was every Christmas Eve that they had attended. The worshipers came from many different backgrounds. Some were clearly Westerners here in Japan over the holidays for whatever reason looking for a taste of home, there were also plenty of families where one person had been raised in a more predominately Christian country and some purely Japanese families too.

Shizuru who had never actually been inside a Christian church looked around curiously, taking in the uncomfortable looking wooden benches and raised dais where the preacher and choir would be along with the black grand piano in the corner. And the huge wooden cross that loomed large against the wall at the front of the room. The sanctuary was only dimly lit by candles and the little fairy lights on the evergreen trees that decorated the room tonight. The large floor to ceiling stained glass windows were dark, but she imagined they would be quite beautiful with light streaming through them.

One would think that the stone walls and hard benches would give the place a cold and uninviting atmosphere, but the various families enthusiastically catching up with each other, the kindly old man who had given them their bulletins and candles with a smile and the assorted strangers who randomly wandered over to warmly wish her a Happy Christmas, all helped make the little church anything but cold. Still despite the warmth of the various worshipers, as she, Natsuki and Midori found seats on one of the crowded benches; Shizuru couldn't shake the feeling that she would always be an outsider here.

Natsuki sighed softly as she readied herself to spend the next hour alternately sitting or standing still in this very spot. She was certainly glad that church was something she only had to attend once a year. Midori had teased that there was another holiday in the spring that was even more important to her father's faith, but then admitted that she also found church boring. Christmas was the holiday that held the most sentimental value to her, so this was the one time of year she felt the urge to attend. Natsuki never complained much about attending church because she knew it was important to her Watcher.

The Slayer stood between her Watcher and Shizuru as they sang various traditional seasonal hymns. Some were in English, some had been translated into Japanese, and she thought that one of them might have been in German. She wasn't really paying attention to the details; she was just enjoying standing here between the two people she cared about the most in this sea of strangers. Natsuki allowed her eyes to drift closed as she concentrated on the beautiful, soothing sound of Shizuru singing next to her. The older girl's voice was warm with emotion, perfectly on pitch and clear in tone. The Slayer tried to memorize the peaceful sound of her friend's voice as she allowed her mind to wander, enjoying this rare moment of calm in her life.

After they sang, the congregation sat quietly and listened to the preacher give a sermon about the birth of their Saviour. He was born a mere human baby into near poverty, but he still lived his life helping others and doing many miracles before being killed violently to save humanity from evil and their own sins. Only to be resurrected so that he could bring his followers the message of the chance for eternal life. Natsuki had a tiny smile on her face as she listened to the sermon, wondering what the people in this room would say if they knew that in their midst was a young girl who risked her life every night to keep them safe from evil that most of them didn't imagine in their worst nightmares. She looked to her side to see Midori gazing at her fondly with a similar smile on her face. When she saw Natsuki looking she gave her Slayer a brief hug, and leaned in to murmur "Thank you" in her ear.

After the sermon everyone lit their candles by having a few people share a single light and then spread it throughout the room with everyone sharing the fire with others once they received it. Soon the whole room was bright with the glow of so many tiny candles, the warm light casting everything in gold. Looking to her side her breath caught at the sight of Shizuru who seemed to glow herself, her burnished golden hair and rusty eyes shining with warmth of their own. Shizuru saw her friend looking and gave her a smile, not one of the fake ones that she gave to all of her other friends, but the real one that seemed to light up her whole face. On impulse Natsuki switched her candle to her other hand and reached out to take Shizuru's empty hand in hers, again closing her eyes as everyone sang allowing Shizuru's sweet voice to warm her from within.