Chapter Twelve
Back in the group, Charlie and Joey were both on edge and couldn't quite look at each other.
"Are you okay?" Bianca asked quietly as everyone else assembled in the small circle.
Charlie nodded mutely, twisting her fingers together in her lap. She glanced up at Joey who had put her brave face on.
"Okay, where were we?" she asked.
She looked at Jaq who looked a little better than she had before the break.
"We were talking about kids," she said. "And I was hoping maybe people could help me..."
She looked sadly around the group.
"I think you're very brave," Charlie piped up.
Everyone looked at her in surprise.
"I got pregnant as a result of being raped," the police officer admitted. "And I wasn't strong enough to cope and keep my baby."
Joey stared at her with wide eyes. Charlie met her gaze.
"Anyone that can stand up and be a mother in that situation is pretty incredible," she said.
Joey continued to stare at her.
"Weren't you my age when you were raped?" Tash said, recalling Charlie's first meeting.
"I was fourteen," she said.
"Two years younger than me..." Tash realised, looking stunned.
"Did you give your baby up for adoption?" Jaq asked.
"Sort of," Charlie said.
She glanced at Joey, wondering if she was doing the maths.
"My parents adopted my daughter and she was raised as my sister," Charlie explained.
Joey looked shocked. Her mind was reeling.
"She found out the truth a couple of years ago and..."
Charlie sighed and shook her head.
"Well, I can't say she took it very well. You wouldn't, would you?"
"She can't have blamed you though," Tash piped up. "Considering the circumstances."
"It's been a hard road," Charlie said. "But we're getting there, I think. She moved out but she moved back in with me last year. And... well, it was very complicated when her father came back into the picture but... well, he's gone now and she and I are picking up the pieces."
Joey swallowed the lump in her throat. She could imagine only too well what Charlie had been through. Charlie made tentative eye contact.
"I'm not trying to make it all about me," the police officer said self consciously. "But if I can help you, Jaq by identifying with how you feel then I want to. Everyone shares so much of themselves here and I'm aware that I haven't really done the same."
"Thank you, Charlie," Jaq said honestly.
"Well done for speaking up," Joey added quietly.
The ex lovers smiled a little nervously at each other before the conversation continued.
After the session, while Nikki was making drinks and Mike was putting the chairs away, Joey stepped up beside Charlie.
"I thought you were very brave tonight," she said.
"Thank you," Charlie replied.
"Ruby's really your daughter?" Joey asked, as if not quite able to believe it.
"Yes."
"I guess it make sense," Joey ventured. "The relationship you have..."
She trailed off and sighed. Charlie nodded and shoved her hands in her pockets.
"I'm really sorry about before, Joey," she said. "I should never have judged you."
"Well, on the surface it looks like I'm living a lie," Joey admitted. "I'm still gay as a rainbow. But so is my husband."
Charlie looked a little stunned.
"We met in a group like this," Joey admitted. "We bonded. He's from the UK and needed a visa so we got married and he's been a father to Joshua all this time. He's been amazing."
Charlie nodded. She felt a twinge of unhappiness that she had messed things up so badly. If only she had been able to deal with loving Joey in the first place, she might be the one to support her in raising her son. She might have been given a second chance to make up for past mistakes.
"I'm glad that you've had so much support," Charlie said honestly. "You deserve someone that can be relied on."
Joey nodded. They both felt sad.
"And I know you don't particularly want to hear it," Charlie added. "But I will never stop regretting losing you, Joey."
"Me too," Joey said, surprising both of them.
She smiled weakly.
"I um... I doubt you'd want to but here's my card," Charlie said, digging one out of her pocket. "You probably don't have my number anymore..."
"No, I don't," Joey said.
She accepted Charlie's card and tucked it into her own pocket.
"If you ever want to talk or something," Charlie said. "Call me."
Next time... Joey decides to meet up socially with Charlie...
