This chapter begins around two weeks after the last one left off. It is about two days before the Marauders go their separate ways for the last Hogwarts age Christmas hols.
Sirius stared blankly out the window from the seventh year boys' dormitory. Hogwarts was covered in blindingly white snow with plenty more still steadily falling. Sirius was curled up, his knees to his chest, as he watched, shivering slightly.
Remus opened the door and quietly shut it behind him, watching the other boy. Sirius had been acting strange for around two weeks now, ever since Lily and James officially started dating. Remus intended to find out why, but had been struggling on a safe way to approach Sirius about the subject. So, he stood by the door and watched.
Sirius was hunched over slightly to fight back the cold, and he looked as if he hadn't moved in a while. There was no trace of laughter on the usually joyous boy's face. His eyes were glazed over and sad looking. Remus ached for him and longed to be a comfort. He couldn't stand seeing Sirius so broken over something. The last time he had been like this, it was right after he had let slip Remus's biggest secret. Remus had longed to comfort him then too, but his anger had overpowered his sympathy. Now Remus could go to him; if only he knew how.
The best approach, he decided, is just to ask him. Don't beat around the bush; just ask him.
Remus was taking a deep breath and getting ready to walk over when suddenly, without ever changing position from the window, Sirius spoke.
"You might as well come away from the door and sit down somewhere."
"H-how long did you know I was there?" Remus asked, taken by surprise.
"Since the door opened, you daft wolf. I'm not deaf, and having a dog's sense of hearing doesn't exactly make sneaking around possible."
"Oh, right. Sorry, I just was…thinking."
"Oh really? What a coincidence," Sirius replied flatly.
"Padfoot… are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Stop trying to avoid the topic, Sirius. I know damn well when you're upset over something."
Sirius whistled. "Whoa, sorry Mama Wolf. Can you bring back Remus?"
"Don't mess around, Padfoot. You're going to tell me what's bothering you."
"Bugger it all, Moony, can't a man pout in peace?"
"No."
"Right then. Well, it's nothing I can't handle on my own; I assure you."
Remus's eyes narrowed. "Oh, is that why you've been moping for two weeks then?"
"I have not been mop—"
"Yes you have! You've been like this ever since Lily and James became a couple!"
Sirius's eyes darkened. "Why don't you try losing your best friend and see how you like it?"
Remus calmed a bit. "Sirius, you know you haven't really lost James and that's not the real problem here."
"Oh? Well then what is?"
"I don't know; you tell me."
Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry Moony. You're just trying to help. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You're upset, clearly."
"It's more than that. It's like I'm…scared. That's it. I guess this sounds stupid of me, but I always thought that hell would freeze over before Lily finally agreed to go out with James."
"Did you call the devil and ask? Because I always thought that too. Something fishy is definitely going on down there."
Sirius snorted. "If James and Lily are a possibility, then think about what else is possible! We could all go our separate ways, not be the Marauders anymore! One of us could die; all of us could die! Voldemort could start a real uprising and take over the world! We could turn on each other! I could fall in love! Remus, falling in love has never been on my list of plans for the future! Buying a motorbike, sleeping with as many women as possible, being the most famous auror to ever live! Yeah, sure, those were on there. But I never made room for falling in love!"
Remus was a bit taken aback. "Calm down, Padfoot. You're afraid of falling in love?" Sirius looked at him with big, sad eyes that only a true canine could possess. "But you don't fall in love."
"What if I do? I think I already have," Sirius whispered the last part.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Remus sighed. "Look, Padfoot. You shouldn't spend all your time sulking and worrying. It won't get you anywhere. If you fall in love, you just, well hell, you just fall in love."
"What if they don't love me back? What if I get my heart broken?"
Remus felt a pang in his chest. "They will definitely love you back. Anybody who's smart would. You're amazing, Sirius. Everyone already loves you anyway."
Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment, and then turned to look into Remus's eyes. "Promise you'll always be here for me."
"Wh-what?"
"James may have Lily, and who knows where Peter will end up, but we have each other. Promise you'll always be here for me."
Remus smiled. "I promise."
"Thanks Moony."
Sirius stopped slouching and his eyes shone as he turned back around to gaze at the still falling snow.
Depressing mood, depressing Padfoot. Sorry, I have to write what I feel. I think it is a requirement of me. Poor Sirius is worried about the future. Once he gets into one of his moods, Remus is usually the only one that can pull him out of them. Thank goodness for that hot little werewolf.
