~SPENCER POV~

I was sleeping soundly until I heard the sound of a door slam and remembered where I was. I jolted out of bed still wearing the clothes I'd worn yesterday and ran downstairs. I couldn't believe that I was stupid enough to think she wouldn't leave in the middle of the night. What the hell was wrong with me?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice what was there in front of the door and slammed right into Trinity. I couldn't grab the door fast enough to keep us from falling to the floor and I landed right on top of her.

We were both groaning in pain at the contact and she she moaned "What is it with you F.B.I members using your whole body weight to bring me down? Do I look like I weigh that much?"

I felt a blush cover my cheeks at her words and my actions. If I thought I'd looked stupid before, there were no doubts now.

"I wasn't expecting you to be at the door. I thought you…" I forgot my words as I lifted my head and realized how close she was. Her face was inches from mine and I could see her bright blue eyes sparkling with amusement. I also didn't fail to notice the awkward position our bodies were in: one of my knees were between her legs, her breasts were pressed against my chest, and I had a hand on her hip where I'd tried to stop her from falling.

"I love how you carefully avoided the weight question. Accusing me of going back on my promise to help makes me feel shitty enough but you called me fat on top of it." She said with a laugh and I blushed even deeper.

I pulled her up by the waist as I stood up and said "Most of the people that I've dealt with go back on their promises and deals so I couldn't be sure. Your weight is something you don't ever need to be self conscious of."

She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrow. "Was that almost a compliment, Dr. Reid?"

I shook off the question and said "What did you have on the agenda for today?"

"You answering my question to start with. That'll determine what we do first." She said and handed me a cup of coffee from the local coffee shop. I grabbed the cup and nodded before taking a sip. "Good."

"Now can you answer my question?" I asked and she took a sip of her coffee.

"Well." She said before taking a seat in the floor in the same spot I'd knocked her down to a minute ago. I didn't say anything but took a seat in the floor across from her. "I figured we would start with something easy. We're going to the training room in just a second and I'm going to teach you an effective way to bring someone down… that doesn't involve tackling someone as often."

I laughed and took another sip of my coffee before saying "So you get the opportunity to get even with me for knocking you down?"

"No, I get the chance to kick your ass and teach you something about fighting like a criminal at the same time." She said with a grin and sat her coffee down before grabbing mine out of my hands and placing it next to hers.

I gave her a disapproving look at the action and she didn't seem to care in the least. "You can have your coffee back when it's over. It'll stay hot for ten minutes. Prove to me that you can handle yourself or learn something."

~TRINITY POV~

I didn't wait two seconds after we got in the room to knock him on his ass by sweeping his feet out from under him. He fell on his back and said "I'm assuming the words begin and start aren't in any of your languages."

"Get up or I'm going to strike again. I'll give you once to get up on your own. After that, you have to do it yourself. Treat this like a real fight, Spencer." I said and he looked at me with wide brown eyes before standing up.

He then held up a hand and went to swing when I hit his arm and kicked him in the stomach, knocking him back to the ground. I grabbed his hand and helped pull him back up before going to kick him again and he grabbed my leg. I was about to use the other to kick him when he shoved me back and I fell on my ass.

He then held out a hand to me and pulled me back up. I smiled and saw that he was making slight improvements already. I didn't let him relish in this fact for very long before I dropped to the ground and tried to kick his legs out from under him. He quickly dodged my leg sweep and kicked me back before pinning me to the ground. I fought him until I realized that he had my arms and legs pinned.

I gave him a sly smile and said "You're a fast learner it seems. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. I'd also be lying if I said this was the first time you'd straddled me like this today."

He blushed and the look of pride vanished as he moved away from me. "I honestly just wanted to finish my coffee. I had no motivation besides that."

I continued to lay on the floor while he went to get his coffee. He sat down beside me and took another sip of his still steaming coffee. I thought about the time my father and I had been attacked by a person in a coffee shop. I put my hand on my shoulder as I thought back to the bullet that had pierced my shoulder and shivered lightly at the remembrance of the pain.

"Spencer." I said with a quiet voice.

He sat his coffee down on the floor and asked "What is it?"

"Have you ever had something happen that was so awful that you wanted to hurt someone but couldn't?"

He looked down at his hands and said "I've come close."

I took a deep breath before asking "What's the worst thing you've ever seen that came from your job?"

He took another sip of his coffee before sitting it down in front of him. "That's an easy answer but not an easy discussion."

"Please?" I asked and he finished his coffee before he put it down beside me.

He laid back and said "I met this amazing woman online when I was having severe headaches and I fell in love with her. I never met her or got the chance to tell her I love her even though she told me. The first time I met her, she'd been kidnapped and I tried to negotiate her freedom.. She was killed right in front of me in a murder/suicide by a woman named-"

"Diane Turner." I said and he gave me a puzzled look. I pulled my feet up so that my knees were in my line of sight. "My dad knew her. I never met her but I remember him telling me about her and her murder/suicide. I'm so sorry that you went through that."

I didn't turn to look at him but I felt his eyes on me. I lifted my leg and looked at my foot as he said "I would have rather known her and lost her than never know her at all. What's yours?"

I smiled and felt a tear come to my eye. I hadn't talked to anyone about this but it was time for someone to know the truth. "Did you look into my file?"

"No, you said that I shouldn't violate your privacy unless you could violate mine. I thought you deserved your privacy." He said and I could hear from the sound of his voice that he was being sincere.

I found myself letting my tears fall free down my cheeks. "My dad had an affair when I was eight. I met my brother when I was twenty-two without my father's permission. My brother Mason had just turned fourteen and I went to see him at his school against my father's warnings to stay away from him. I was so tired of being alone in this world that I walked into the school without thinking."

"What happened to him?" Spencer asked when I didn't continue. I let out a deep breath and tried to cover up my choking sob.

I turned my face away and said "A woman walked into the school that was five months pregnant. She was an old enemy of my dad's and shot him. I held my brother in my arms as he died before going to shoot her. All I could see was her pregnant stomach and I couldn't pull the trigger. I let her go despite the hate that I felt in my heart."

I felt his body move closer to mine and he said "You don't have to say anything else, Trinity. I'm not going to force you to relive any more painful memories."

"My dad drug her back to the house and threw her at my feet." I said and sniffled lightly as I saw the woman's terrified face in my mind's eye. "He handed me the gun and told me to shoot her so that my brother's death would be avenged. In the hour that I knew him, I'd seen that he was full of love and so innocent. Mason wouldn't have hurt anyone even if he had to. I refused and told my father that I didn't want to kill her. He looked me in the eye and said Mason's dead because I was weak and shot the woman, killing her and the child. I couldn't even argue with him."

I could only hear the sound of his breathing and sat up from the floor to look at him. I knew that I was showing weakness by allowing him to see my pity, tears, and regret but I didn't care. I ran a hand through my hair before standing up from the ground.

"We'll start again tomorrow morning. You're not too bad on your fighting skills." I said with a smile that I knew was broken. Mason's memories, like my mom's memories, had a way of tearing me apart and leaving me vulnerable.

I turned to walk up the stairs and he said "It's not your fault."

I looked back at him with a question in my eyes and he made no move to get up from the floor. Instead, he looked up at me with honest eyes before repeating "It's not your fault. Losing the people you love is never your fault unless you are the one who pulls the trigger."

"How can you be sure?" I asked and turned towards him, waiting for answer that would make sense.

He returned my broken smile and said "Blaming ourselves is how we deal with the loss of a loved one. Just trust me when I say that there was nothing you could have done."

I didn't agree with what he said but I wasn't going to argue with him. Instead, I nodded and walked up the stairs to my room, leaving him on the wooden floor. It was going to be a long restless night full of nightmares and haunting memories.

I should be used to this by now.

***I want to start off by saying thank you for all of the lovely suggestions you all have given and I have taken them into consideration. I have a lot planned myself but as always suggestions are welcome. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, they were wonderful. Thank you for reading and don't forget to review.