A/N: Oh, well, I don't even know WHERE to start with this. This chapter contains many things that I'm almost positive will start confusing the shit out of you. I apologize deeply for that.

Shorter than I'd like.

Grammar and Spelling errors ahead.

ONWARDS!


-Chapter Eleven-


The sun was rising above the horizon, there was soft breathing coming from the bed. Sougo stepped into his pants, slid them up, zipped the fly, and buttoned the top button. He figured he could find the belt later on.

He smiled elegantly to himself. He felt refreshed, renewed. He turned around, a grin sliding across his lips. He raised his eyebrows at the sleeping figure on his futon, a sadistic thought crossing his mind.

He strode over to the deeply asleep figure, picking up his vest and slipping it on, not bothering with either the outer coat nor the white scarf. He could just leave them for after he kicked the sleeping person out of his room.

He raised his leg up and was just about to kick the guy out of his bed, when the bastard jolted awake, only to stare blearily up at Sougo.

"Mm...Sou-chan? What are you doing?" The guy's eyes flickered to Okita's raised leg, and back to his face. He slowly started to raise himself from the futon, but was quickly tugged upwards as Okita took ahold of the longish hair atop his head.

"Itai! Itai! Itai!"

Sougo released his hold on the man's hair, although he started to glare daggers into the male's soul. "Leave. You were my bitch for one night. Nothing more, nothing less. Leave me now, before I decide you need to die right here."

Nodding swiftly and with trepidation, the male looked around, grabbed his clothes, and ran out, slamming the shoji behind himself.

Sougo all but cackled to himself at the fear-stricken look on the guy's face. "Haaaaah, too funny. I just love scaring the shit out of boys like him. Well, bitches like him." Grinning sardonically, he decided to dress for the day. Maybe Kondou would pay attention to him, for once, not like a brother, but more like a lover.

"Ha! As-fucking-if."


THE DAY PRIOR

-Sougo and His Group-

Okita had his arm slung around Kagura the Yato's shoulder with relative ease, an easy-going smile on his lips. He kept pressing his body closer and closer to hers, which, in turn, caused his buddy Shimura Shinpachi to start trying to shove his in-between them. To no avail, though.

Sougo wouldn't give up his fun without a fight, and, at the moment, messing with the Yorozuya brats was the fun he'd been looking for to distract him, momentarily, from Kondou.

And, speaking of Kondou, he was just laughing his fucking ass off, a fucking cheesy grin on that fucking older (but still quite sexy) face. God, Okita just wanted to fuck that body into a mattress, all-the-while Kondou still retaining that perfect ass sexy grin. (Ah...was he drooling? Probably.)

He shook his head a bit, trying to get the image of a sex-induced Kondou out of his brain. He distracted himself by pressing his body even closer to the fourteen year old Yato. (Was this against the law, since, in the government's eyes, he was an adult? Eh, who gave a shit? He sure as hell didn't.)

"A-ah, Okita-san...w-what are you doing?" The Shimura boy stuttered out, his brown eyes blown wide from jealousy and a hint of anger.

Kagura, well, basically imploded at the sound of Shimpachi's voice. It was as if they were in an alternate universe and the younger girl didn't supposedly hate Sougo's guts. (But hey, he was quite alright with having a non-pissed off Yato crushing on him.)

"Shut the hell up, Shinpachi! Nobody cares about blue balls you've suddenly gained," she hissed, her smaller body pressing even more close to Sougo. Without. His. Permission.

He jerked away a bit, disentangling himself from the almost vice-like grip she had suddenly obtained on his forearm. He nearly flinched at the shriek that came from the Shimura brat's mouth.

"KAGURA-CHAN! THOSE ARE UNLADYLIKE TERMS THAT A YOUNG GIRL SUCH AS YOURSELF SHOULD NOT SPEAK!"

Sougo growled, "Can it, Megane-Shimura. Danna isn't around, and it seems that neither Kondou nor I give a shit about her language. So shut your trap and let her speak at her own freewill." He ran a hand through his short, brown hair, his eyes glaring icily at Shinpachi, daring him to talk back.

The latter gulped, took a couple steps back, and lagged behind, his head drooping in dejection. Okita smirked, and turned his attention back to the orange/red haired girl walking beside him.

"Oi, Yato girl, doncha wanna go comfort your Megane-chan?" He questioned snidely, watching closely as multitudes of emotions flashed across her face. The emotions included: anger, confusion, regret, despair, and a bit of happiness; they were all gone in a second, her face composing itself within a couple of seconds.

"Of course not," she replied. "We may work together. We may both like Gin-chan, but he is NOT my Megane-chan, as you so eloquently put it. Now, leave the topic alone." She nodded to herself at the words, then she quickly tacked on 'ya bastard' at the end.

Okita's eyes widen, just a teeny tiny bit (of course), and he stared at her in shock. She was fucking fourteen (and she didn't seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed), and she actually based her answer so coherently around Sougo's question it was, in fact, too shocking. He blinked rapidly a couple of times, and ever-so-slowly tried to remove himself from her personal space.

Which, somehow, actually worked. He ended up backtracking, forward tracking, all the way up to Kondou. He figured his eyes were still blown wide, because all Kondou did was pat his back soothingly, rubbing small circles there. The feeling almost made him groan in pleasure. Almost.

He inwardly sighed in happiness, a small smile ghosting across his lips. It felt so good; so right. He didn't want it to end, but, sadly, it did.

Okita and his group had ended up searching throughout the whole abandoned hospital, and were now leaving without so much as an answer to where exactly Katsura Kotarou was.

/Time Skip/

Sougo stood outside a gay bar, gulping down air like it was alcohol. He was nearly shaking with nerves and adrenaline. If any of his lady friends saw him here, he'd never hear the end of it during sex. And if any of his guy friends saw him here, he'd never hear the end of their taints and laughing. He shifted from foot to foot, continuously drawing in oxygen as he anxiously mulled over the pros and cons of entering a gay bar.

Pros:

-He'd get laid.

-He'd figure out if he was bi or not.

-He'd get experience in anal.

-He might get a new fuck buddy.

Cons:

-He could be seen.

-He'd get laid.

-He'd fuck a guy.

-It might get back to either Kondou or Hijikata.

Wearily, he took the first few steps, opened the door, and sauntered in as if he owned the place, his nerves and fears going into the deep, dark depths of the back of his mind. Vaguely he took in the area of the bar, his eyes scanning across the patrons, waiters, and the one bartender.

He grins once his eyes make contact with deep, green hued emeralds that seem to glow in the dreary darkness. He strode over to the green-eyed man, his movements graceful and predator-like, as if he's a hunter in the prowl for a doe-eyed piece of ass. (Ah, that analogy suuuucked. He needed new comparisons if he wanted to make it in the gay world. Wait, did the gays have their own terminology? He'd have to look that up when he got the chance.)

"Hello there, handsome. If I might say, you have a fine ass on you," he purred, his brown hair falling into his face.

The stranger grinned and moved closer to Sougo, his breath ghosting over his cheeks. "Hm, shouldn't we learn each other's names if we're gonna fuck?"

"Call me SOU-CHAN. There. Happy? What's your name, babe?"

"Mm, I'm Umenosuke. And yes, I'm quite happy, in fact. Do you top? Or maybe bottom?"

"Top is definitely my thing."

"Good. We'll get along just fine." Umenosuke's fingers trailed lightly down Sougo's vest-covered chest. "So, Sou-chan. Your place or mine?"

"Mine."

Both of the males grinned. Sougo just about dragged Umenosuke out of the bar, all the while the green-eyed man just laughed and went along.

They were both ready for the ride of their lives.


-Gin-chan and His Group-

Gintoki shuffled painfully along behind Hijikata, Otae, and Yamazaki. He griped and groaned every time his upper thighs brushed against his bruised balls and dick, which was every fucking second, it seemed.

He grit his teeth as he glared daggers at Hijikata's retreating back. He planned on getting revenge soon enough. (Maybe when they were fucking he'd force Hijikata to go through orgasm denial. Hah.)

He didn't expect them to be fucking any time soon, considering Gintoki probably wouldn't be able to come int he next couple of weeks. Surely, though, they could dry hump and make out. He grinned hopefully at the thought.

He didn't notice, but as he was drooling and grimacing, Otae continuously looked back at him, then at Hijikata, her conversation with Yamazaki never wavering. And since he didn't notice, he never caught the eery glares she sent the mayora's way, or the nearly infatuated glances she sent him.

All in all, he missed just about everything that was going on, and once they reached the entrance of the abandoned building once again, he shook himself out of his fantasies of binding Hijikata up and making him wear frilly lace panties. Their group broke up, each of them going their own way.

/Time Skip/

Gintoki strolled lazily through the streets of Kabukicho, a small carton of strawberry milk gripped tightly in his hand. He needed to hurry home, or else Shinpachi might get some ideas on what to do with a lonely Kagura. He inwardly shuddered at the thought.

"Mm, better not go there," he wryly said to himself. With graceless ease, he drank his milk and walked, paying not mind to any other citizens.

As he kept on walking, his feet suddenly stopped working, his eyes widening. His breath became shaky at the sight of Okita and another man leaving a bar he usually frequented. But, it wasn't the sight of the sadistic 'womanizer' Sougo with a man. It was the man in question.

It was that man. Umenosuke. Shit.

"I'll be damned." And he probably was, if the smirk that was sent his way was any thing to go by. He shuddered and clutched his head, his eyes shutting as memories of pain and hurt flitted through his mind.

He just about collapsed on the crowded street, but hurriedly moved to an alley. He leant against the brick wall, his back slowly sliding down as his legs gave out on him. He shuddered, his body shaking.

"God, this fucking sucks...why'd he have to come back...?"


THE DAY AFTER

-Gin-chan's Harem-

"Ne, so, Otae-chan, what happened yesterday with Gintoki and that demon-man?"

Shimura Tae scratched the back of her neck, not willing to admit that she'd barely paid them any attention, since she was fairly distracted by that Yamazaki man. But, of course, she'd seen Gin get kicked in the nuts by Hijikata, so she told them that.

The women's reactions to it was fucking hilarious. (Like, haaaaaalarious.)

Otose scoffed, Tsukuyo gaped, Ayame got teary eyed, and Kyuubei grimaced. Otae smirked at them all. "It's true, ya know," she stated dryly.

Varying types of raised eyebrows were sent her way, Otose speaking first. "Anything else that you might have forgotten?"

She shook her head. "Yup, that was basically it. Gin-san hit on Hijikata-san, but it wasn't much until he got a foot in the balls."

The younger women of the harem sighed. Then they said in unison, "That wasn't very much information..."

Otose smirked, her gaze boring holes into Tsukuyo. "Ah, yes, Tsukuyo, you're next to spy on our Gintoki."

Obediently Tsukuyo nodded, blond hair falling into her face. "Hai, Otose-san."


Tsukuyo glared angrily at her feet, her back against an alley wall. She was bored; so bored, in fact, that she would willingly suck that Shimura Shinpachi's dick if she had to. Though, she would never do that if the had the choice. Gintoki was the only one for her. (Hah. Funny.)

She was keen to just get her spying shit done and over with, so that she could head home and start on her master plan. It wasn't much of a plan, yet. Soon enough, she'd start getting to the real badassery of her sinister and diabolical plan. (Pft, she sounded like one of those weird-ass villains from those American cartoons.)

She crossed her arms in front of her, willing away the urge to crack her knuckles and do something physical for a change. But she couldn't just abandon her post. It WAS her day to spy on both Gintoki and Hijikata. (She didn't really want to, well, maybe spying on Gintoki wasn't so bad, but Hijikata just pissed her off.)

With a huff, she stopped leaning against the wall, and stood tall and firm, smirking. She raised her brows at the sight in front of her.

There was Gintoki, who was, as per usual, flirting away with random women, although Tsukuyo knew he flirted with men at night. It wasn't as if the women would actually take him up on any offer for casual sex. Besides, Gin probably wouldn't be able to get it up, anyway. Even if he flirted, they always seemed to have that effect on him. (She knew from personal experience.) it was pretty funny to watch him fail so epically. Usually she wouldn't even crack a smile at him flirting with another, but, for the time being, her mind was currently occupied by her plan.

Vaguely, she wondered if her odd interest in the Yorozuya perm-head was finally ending, but she quickly shook her head of the thought. Of course it wasn't going away anytime soon. First off, she needed to date him, then get bored, and then she'd be able to dump his ass and walk off.

It was just how she worked. It was pretty depressing, she must admit. Eh, who cared?

She grimaced inwardly when he seemed to have taken notice of her, his red eyes gazing right at her. She cocked her head to the side, a seductive smile gracing her lips. With a cheeky grin and a small wave, Gintoki striding, less than gracefully, over to her.

"Ne, Tsukuyo-chan, it's quite the pleasure to see you here." He grinned cockily at her, his wine red eyes lazy and apathetic. As-fucking-usual.

"Mm, Gin-san, how are you?" She questioned lightly, pulling her kiseru from her kimono. She stuck it in her mouth.

"I'm very fine, actually." His grinning continued, while his gaze moved over her body lecherously. She shivered, just a bit, her face turning a decent shade of pink. "And you, pretty lady?"

"T'ch, you know how I am. But, anyways, I'm acceptable, really." She sucked on the tip of her kiseru in a manner not unlike a child sucking on the slightly sweet lollipop stick.

She noticed his mannerisms seemed...off. Huh. She wondered what happened to actually make Sakata Gintoki seem off.

"And, you don't seem 'fine', Gin-san. What's the matter?" She asked him carefully, not wanting to prod too much, in case he caught on that she'd been stalking(spying on) him.

"Ah, you chucklehead, I'm truly fine. No worries."

"Chucklehead? Uh..."

She noted that his attention quickly sidetracked to someone else, his eyes trained on them like a dog. She glanced over and shuddered. It was Hijikata.

Well, at least she could spy some more and get more details on their 'relationship', if they even had one. She gently nudged him with her hand. "Go on. Go talk to your man."

Gintoki laughed and sauntered off. Tsukuyo pervertedly started to watch that perfect ass go. Ah, she was going to Hell.


A/N: Ah, yes. The chapter is finally over, you people have lived through a horror fest of random shit and road blocks. Dafuq am I saying? I don't know. Reviews and their replies!

Life Starts Now: Ah, once again, not very much GinHiji action, but I SWEAR the next chapter will have something, be it fluff, smut, or even angst for them. ^^

karunebulous: I'm not sure when I'll actually shove in a woman just to make Gin-chan rage, but I'll try. I'll try so fucking hard. XD Also, I think Hijikata will be a 'gay only for Gintoki' kinda guy, sort of like Kondou, but without Sougo trying to get a piece of that ass. (ShitwhatamIsaying,Idontevenknowanymore.)

There wasn't much on Otae spying, but she told the harem basically what happened. Does that count? Pft, probably not.

There was teeny tiny bit of Sougo being a 'playa', but mainly he was a little shit to Shinpachi. XD

I freaking love Shouyou-sensei, but he seemed too...nice and good, for my liking. So, I popped in Umenosuke-chwan, and WHALAH, bitchy ass Shouyou.

Umenosuke-chwan will be my favorite OC for, like, ever, so I gotta make him count, especially in the story. He'll be appearing more and more often soon. Very soon.

Until next time!