~AL~

A Change is Gonna Do Me Good

April 1996

~AL~

I wrinkled my nose at the nasty smell that woke me from a deep sleep. I rolled over and heard what made that smell. Shotgun pops shot out of Matthew's butt in rapid succession that instantly stunk up the room. I stifled my laugh as to not wake him, but I couldn't help it. His little body was facing me while he lay on his side. His face was a picture of tranquility and the innocence of childhood. That right there was all I needed to be happy.

This past week had been more difficult than the time after we returned from Cabo. I not only called Edward and left several messages, but I also went looking for him at his house. He never answered his phone or his door. It was probably due to the fact that every time I called him, I'd left irate, nasty voicemails. But really, I deserved an explanation.

The more I thought about our whole relationship, and what might have led him astray, I realized one of the biggest problems was we jumped from one relationship to another. We had no time to discover ourselves as single people. Our instant attraction to one another was unavoidable but we should have been smarter about it. I felt as if we sabotaged our relationship before we even had a chance.

And in all honesty, I wasn't making excuses him for what he did. I was super hurt and pissed about that and was not in the mind of forgiveness at the moment. Or ever. Who knew? I couldn't predict the future, but either way, we couldn't even get there until we talked about it. And that led me to another thought: did he figure he broke up with me by disappearing that night in Cabo? I mean, in his eyes was that it? Ugh! I had to stop this train of thought because it served as nothing but reliving the pain.

Matthew was snoring away, so I snuck out of bed and went to the kitchen. I needed coffee. I had a long day planned. I was taking my baby to the park and then he was going to his daddy's house. Leah was dragging me to her brother's party. Alice and Rose were going as well so I supposed that made it a little better. That way I wouldn't have to hear their bitching and moaning anymore for walking around like a zombie lately.

~AL~

"What are you wearing, Leah?" I yelled from the bathroom.

A few seconds later she stood in the doorway to show me her very skimpy, but very cute, mini dress. It was black with silver thread sewn throughout to make it sparkle. The dress was short but looked fabulous on her because she had such long thin legs.

I looked in the mirror to see the curl that I made with the curling iron. It looked good.

"Okay, so what are you doing with your hair?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I was hoping you'd help me."

I nodded, as I grabbed another chunk of hair to wind in the curling iron.

"You'll do my make up?" I asked, and laughed. We were so pathetic and could barely get ready on our own. Hey, but wasn't that what girls did? Got ready in groups?

"Are the girls coming here or are we meeting them somewhere?" I asked.

Leah looked at her watch and said, "They should be here any minute. We're all driving together."

The banging on the steel security door rattled the house. Leah ran to open it and the girls poured in. My hair and make up were done and all I had to do was throw on a dress and shoes.

Rose and Alice were in my room within seconds with a twelve pack of Heinekens in hand. Popping a few open and passing them around, Rose gave me the once over.

"You're looking better."

I shrugged, not because I was actually feeling better, but because I had no choice in the matter. Life went on and I had to go along with it. I had too many responsibilities and a small boy that depended on me. No time to drown in my sorrow. I was sort of looking forward to this party. New people, new crowd, and I didn't have to worry about running into Edward or our mutual friends.

"You girls ready to have fun tonight?" Leah asked as she sauntered into my room. She picked up a beer and took the bottle opener to pop the top off. She guzzled that shit in a second.

"Damn, girl, you lush!" I laughed. "Hey, I need help picking out a dress. Look I have this one or that one," I said, pointing to a cute black mini dress with a halter tie around the neck or a red dress that went to my knees and had spaghetti straps.

Everyone pointed to the black dress. I nodded and threw it on. I dug out my four inch dancing shoes. They had a five-inch heel, an ankle strap, and two thin straps across the toes. And they were perfect for dancing. Comfortable and worn in so I didn't have to worry about blisters or sore feet.

Between the four of us, we finished off the twelve pack of beer and jumped into Leah's car. The music was blaring and the four of us were dancing in our seats. The small buzz we had going on lifted our spirits, getting us into party mode.

Forty-five minutes later and we were pulling up to a huge, dark brown two-story house. The driveway and street were packed with cars. Leah parked right in front of the driveway, blocking it. Piling out of the car, we walked to the front door.

Leah didn't even knock on the door; instead she opened the door and walked right in. People were gathered in every inch of the house. The music was loud and Celia Cruz pumped through the speakers. Small groups of guests gathered as they sipped their drinks and moved to the music between conversations.

Leah forged forward, while the three of us followed behind her. I watched as Leah's head moved back and forth in search of someone. Finally she stopped in front of a tall man with light brown hair. That was all I could see so far, as he was bent over speaking into the ear of the guy standing next to him. His sister stood in front of him with her hands on her hips, waiting for him to notice her.

As soon as he looked up my breath caught. He was handsome and my eyes locked on his face. I scanned every inch of it and without even realizing it, comparing it to Edward's. Their features were completely different, but they were equally gorgeous. Paul's skin was pale and his eyes a very light green with a lot of gold flecks in them. His hair looked thick and a bit puffy, almost frizzy. His bone structure was strong and defined and perfect. His perfect sized nose was a bit crooked as if it had been broken before. He really looked nothing like Leah at all.

"Bella, this is my brother Paul," said Leah while she elbowed me. I missed the introductions.

I diverted my eyes from his face to look at Leah and her lips were formed in a knowing smirk. She did this on purpose as if she knew I'd found this man attractive. Was this her way of trying to get me to move on? I narrowed my eyes at her and look at Paul again.

I didn't want to be rude so I held out my hand toward him. "Hi, Paul. Nice to meet you."

His hand wrapped around mine and it almost felt wrong. Regardless of how incredibly good-looking he was, I wasn't ready to move on.

"Thank you, you too," he said and he held my hand just a beat too long. I wiggled it out of his grasp and looked at Leah again. I knew my face showed my panic. I didn't want this to be a set up. I didn't want to be stuck with this guy all night.

"You girls want something to drink?" Paul asked.

"Sure, thanks," Rose and Alice answered.

"Great. Bella would you like to give me hand?" Paul looked at me and then the other girls. "We'll be right back. Wait right here."

They nodded and parted so Paul could steer me toward the drinks. He placed his hand on my lower back to guide me and it felt strange having another man touching me that way. We walked through the dining room into his kitchen. It was spacious and beautiful and looked like it was set up for a professional chef. The drinks were setup nicely on the beautiful island in the middle.

We stood staring at all the bottles of liquor lined up on the island; I tried to decide what I wanted.

"So, what would you like to drink?"

"Um, Barcardi and Coke?" I said in a questioning tone.

"Okay, I've got that. How about for your friends?"

"Oh, um, the same, I guess." I shrugged not really caring what they wanted. But I knew they liked Rum anyway.

He nodded and began scooping the ice into four cups, then measure the Barcardi and topped it with Coke. While he did that, we engaged in small talk.

"So, how long have you known my sister?"

"For a few months now. We met at work and hit it off. I needed a roommate and she was ready to move on her own." I tapped my fingers on the island.

"Yeah, my parents couldn't believe she was actually moving out. They would have been happy if she stayed at home forever. You know, she's the baby in the family and they didn't want to let her go." A laugh escaped him and his eyes lit up. God, he really was good-looking.

"I was surprised she still lived at home. I moved out when I was eighteen. I guess I'm just too independent."

"She's learning from living with you. We talk often. We're the closest out of all of our siblings, but since she moved out, she's been growing. I'm proud of her."

He was genuinely happy for her and it showed all over his face. He was very expressive. As I watched him, I saw every emotion pass so clearly across his face. The complete opposite from Edward, he hid every emotion until he wanted you to know it.

When he finished with the drinks we carried them to the girls. A few guys surrounded the three of them. Right as we got close enough, Rose threw her head back and laughed with such gusto.

"What did I miss?" I asked with curiosity.

Through a fit of giggles, Alice explained that Leah's other brother was telling them a funny story about her. Leah's dark skin was flushed red. They must have embarrassed her. I looked at the guys standing there to see which one she was talking about. Bingo! Now, this brother looked exactly like Leah, except he was about four inches shorter than her.

In trying to get her brother to stop telling everyone her most embarrassing stories, she interrupted him to introduce us.

"Bella, this is my brother, Quil." She pointed to the shorter guy, and then she pointed to another tall but very built guy and said, "This is also my brother, Embry and that is their friend, Art." I nodded, waved, and greeted everyone.

We stood around for a while talking and getting to know one another, but Paul seemed to stick the closest to me. He'd elaborate on a story or two that was being told by whispering in my ear or he'd touch me in a way that didn't seem out of place or obvious but sort of was. Either that or I was just hyper aware of his presence and wary of his intentions.

Whoever was in charge of the music was doing a great job. I couldn't help dancing in place as we all chitchatted, but so were Rose and Alice. When Matador by Los Fabulosos Cadillacs came on we just started outright dancing. We grabbed Leah to induct her into our dance group and showed her our dance moves. The guys all backed up and watched with their eyes bulging and their mouths hanging low.

We'd stomp our feet to the beat of the music during the chorus. With one foot in front of the other we'd sway back and forth, transferring our weight between our feet. Our hands were clapping and waving furiously around. A little alcohol and great music was a sure fire way to loosen me up.

After that we danced the rest of the night away. Paul danced with me a few times and I mostly accepted to not be rude. And as good looking as this guy was, I was not willing to jump into the arms of another guy. No way. My heart, even though it was broken, belonged to Edward.

~AL~

Leah, who was the designated driver and only had one drink, drove us home. Alice and Rose headed straight for the sofa in the living room and passed out. When I got to my room and began to strip, trying not to fall over from all the booze, I noticed the answering machine's light flashing.

I sat on my bed to pull off my shoes and pushed the button to play the messages.

There was a beep then the electronic voice said, "Friday, April twenty-sixth at nine forty-five." A male's voice started to speak and I prayed between it being Edward and not. I was too afraid of what he'd have to say if it was him and hoped that he'd tell me everything was all right.

But, it was Peter.

"Bella, I'm making the rounds. We're having a party tomorrow night at the house. Everyone's invited. I just spoke with Emmett and Jasper and they're bringing Rose and Alice. I want you and Leah to come. All righty, I'll see you then."

I felt the color drain from my face. Looking up, I saw Leah standing in my doorway; she'd heard the message.

"We're going. You guys can't hide from this problem anymore. You're going to face him head on and we'll be there to support you. We've got your back." Her face was set like stone and her hands deliberately on her hips. She was determined to help me resolve this issue, but was I ready?

I shook my head back and forth, my hair swishing with the rapid movement. "No, no, no! I'm not going. I'm not ready," I chanted until I began to sob into my hands.

Ignorance was bliss. I didn't want to hear him tell me it was over. I wanted to live in my head with the idea that perhaps it was all a misunderstanding. I didn't want there to be a chance I'd see him with that other girl and have all my dreams crushed before my very eyes. It was all too much and I wasn't ready for any of it.

~AL~

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