What I own: An odd, Alice in Wonderland inspired lunch container, two bottles of 'I'm Not Really a Waitress' nail polish and at least 20 red lipsticks.
What I don't: Rookie Blue. STILL not mine. I know. I KNOW. I'm just playing with them, I'll clean them up when I'm all done, I promise.
Author's Note: First thing. This is STILL rated M so unless you can buy smokes and vote where you are from, please do be finding something else to read. Okay, boring stuff over. Y'all. Wow. So, I love every single one of you. I really, REALLY do. The encouragement and sheer kindness of everyone that I have been lucky enough to chat with in this fandom… you all blow me away, all the time. I'm so overjoyed that y'all are enjoying this rambling little tale of mine because I LOVE writing it and the fact that, I think, that comes through in the words… that is just… yeah. I'm not always so good with the speaking but thank you. ANYWAY. This hasn't been beta'd yet, because I insist on keeping Janeycakes busy FOR 18 YEARS and keep sending her chapters. All mistakes and twisty, shift tense are mine. She and her red test of awesomeness will make them pretty. Reviews, as always, will be rewarded with sneak peeks of the upcoming chapter and a VAST amount of babble. They make me grin like a movie star. Happy reading folks, I hope you enjoy!
The ride to the hospital was quick, the windows in the truck rolled down despite the still oppressive heat and humidity, the movement bringing an almost cool breeze into the cab of the truck. Sam was quiet, as usual, and I sat quietly, my knee bouncing nervously for the duration as I ran over the events of yesterday yet again, the little girl's face when I had found her in the park still haunting me.
"McNally." Sam's voice was low and laced with concern, his hand on my bare shoulder pulling me out of my thoughts and I twisted in my seat to face him, realizing after the fact that we had arrived at our destination.
"Sorry, I was just... yeah." I could feel my cheeks tinge with color as Sam gently took my face in his hands and placed a light, sweet kiss against my lips.
"Don't over think it McNally." A soft brush of a thumb over my heated cheek and he was pulling away, unbuckling his belt and climbing out of the truck. I can't hide my smile as I follow him, scrambling to buckle my sandals before hopping down and nearly running to catch up to his side, my hand slipping into his almost instinctively as we headed to the main entrance of the hospital.
By the time we reached the pediatric floor, we had taken every twist and turn possible, and been interrogated by no less than three nurses about who we were and where we were going. Understandable of course but frustrating none the less.
We stood at the nurses' station, explaining for the fourth time who we were and who exactly we were there to see, which was no easy feat when you didn't know the patients name. My exasperation must have been obvious as I felt Sam's hand on my lower back, resting reassuringly for a moment before rubbing small, relaxing circles. The gentle gesture grounded me almost immediately and I took a deep breath, centering my thoughts before addressing the nurse again, my voice quiet.
"I know what the laws are, believe me. But I brought her in yesterday and promised her I would come back. She doesn't have anyone, at least she didn't yesterday. I know you know who she is, and I know you can neither confirm nor deny that she is a patient here but please, please if she is still here can you at least tell her that-"
"Andy, you came back." My words to the obviously exasperated nurse were cut off by a small voice from behind me, one that brought a smile to my face, although the surprise and almost disbelief that tinged the words made my heart sink. I hid my worry as best as I could before turning around, Sam's hand dropping from my back. She was sitting in a wheelchair, the IV still in her tiny hand as she looked up at me a smile on her cherubic face.
"She hasn't said a word to anyone since she came up, not even her name." The nurse at the desk's words were almost a whisper as she addressed Sam, who I could almost guarantee just shrugged.
I crossed the few steps to the heart achingly tiny wheelchair and crouched down, getting as close to eye-level as I could with my little friend.
"Of course I did, I promised I would, didn't I?" The smile I received in return was almost blinding, and her brown curls bobbed as she nodded.
"You did but I wasn't sure you would come. Mama said she would come back an' she didn't."
I was barely able to hide my frown, wincing at the words that were said with the honesty and simplicity that only a child could have.
"I know, I know and I'm sorry." I carefully run my hand over the curls on her small head and fight tears as I search for the right words. "Why don't you go back to your room and I'll come right down, okay?" I kept the words as light as I could, giving a small smile when she nodded in agreement.
"Okay, you promise you'll come?" Her eyes were wide and shiny, filled with uncertainty.
"Of course. I pinky promise." Holding out my hand, I extended my pinky in the air, wiggling it her in a single digit wave. Her smile was bright but didn't quite meet her eyes as she wrapped the small finger from her non-IV'd hand around mine, holding it as tight as she could.
"Okay. See you in a minute." With that, the aide behind the wheelchair gave a small smile and backed up heading down the brightly painted hall. Tears filled my eyes as I rose, my muscles protesting the prolonged movement. A few steps to the nurses' station and Sam's hand was once again resting on my back. The simple gesture meant so much even though no words were spoken.
"She… she hasn't spoken to anyone." The bright pink scrub clad nurse who had, only a few minutes ago been reassuring us that this girl didn't even exist, was glancing at me like I had two heads.
"I found her yesterday." My words were brief, no other explanation was needed and I saw recognition dawn in the other woman's eyes as she nodded mutely, grasping the tablet that was in her hands, glancing between it and Sam and I, obviously struggling with what she was about to say.
"Psych came down for a consult and social services has been called again. Nobody knows anything about her mother, we don't even know her name yet." The nurse, Ella according to her name badge, trailed off with a small shrug.
"I'll see what I can find out. Maybe get a name at least. Something." I received a small nod in thanks before Ella turned away, glancing back at the item in her hands, her fingers moving rapidly over the screen. Glancing up at Sam, I saw the concern in his eyes and returned my hand back into his with a light squeeze. "You're coming too."
"McNally, I don't think-"His voice was low, and held a hint of hesitation. Frowning, I gently pulled him away from the desk, ducking in a small alcove in a vain attempt at privacy.
"Then don't think. I need you." My words were whispered, almost a plea as squeezed his hands, blinking back tears. "I don't know if I can go in there and pretend everything is okay and just question that little girl by myself. She's alone, Sam, completely and totally. I just… I need you there. Please." The final word is a barely whispered plea and my voice cracks as I fight a sob and drop his hand, closing the small distance between us with a single step and wrapping my arms around him, my head resting on his shoulder. His arms instantly tightened around me, and his lips pressed gently against my head.
"I'll be there McNally, however you need me. Always." The words were little more than a whisper but they could not have meant more if they were shouted from the rooftops.
Tipping my head back, I can't help but smile as I meet Sam's eyes searching their depths and finding nothing but trust. Rising up on my tiptoes, I place brush a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling against them as his hand gently caresses my cheek. My thank you remains unspoken, verbally at least, but it isn't necessary, the moment of calm silence between us speaking volumes in just an instant.
We stood there, tucked away in out tiny and just held each other for a moment and the world faded away. We pulled strength from each other, each giving and taking in an unspoken arrangement, the trust that had become so intrinsic over the years now bolstered with something more, though I was still afraid to put words to whatever it was, not just yet. A last, gentle squeeze and a flash of that smile that I had grown to love and Sam pulled back, gently taking my hand and stepping back out into the hallway.
"C'mon McNally, she needs you."
