Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Natsu called for an ambulance.
He wants to know what happened while he was gone, but there are more important things to do first. On those two years that had passed, he has never been kind to her. And now, to see Lucy begging him to help her, it just simply crushes his heart.
She doesn't have to beg. He will save them no matter what. She doesn't have to act like they were distant apart. He has come to her. He went home, back to where she is because she is who he needs.
Her groans of pain sound worse than her sobs.
He could wipe her tears, but how could he take all those pain away?
"Relax. Breathe in. You'll be alright Lucy. You'll be fine. Everything will be fine, Promise."
"Please…"
The way she is holding onto his shirt, it shows how much it hurts for her. The way her body trembles, he could feel how scared she is to lose their baby.
He is scared too. There are so many possibilities neither of them would want to happen.
While inside the ambulance, she is still crying.
"Shhh… Our baby will be fine. Calm down." He said while holding her hand.
At that time, it was all he could do. He doesn't have any power to stop the pain, to freeze the time nor to return it to when Lucy was still fine. If only he could do it, he will bring it back and do everything he should have done sooner.
He would squeeze her hand, and he would feel her responding by tightening her grip. She needs him. There's no way he's going to leave her again.
"Please, let the baby be safe…"
"Of course. You and the baby will be safe."
Maybe it's really too late for him to realize everything. But he couldn't be more thankful for realizing and learning everything he has known.
He couldn't bear seeing her cry. His feelings have grown deeper for a long time now, making him wonder what has gotten him so blind to see it.
"Sorry, but you can't enter Sir." A nurse stopped him from following Lucy.
"She needs me. I just can't leave her!"
"I'm really sorry Sir."
The door which separates him from Lucy closed.
That time, he felt like everything really closed for him.
He doesn't want to lose any of them. He doesn't know if his heart could bear losing Lucy and their child. He loves them.
He loves them so much it will surely kill him if something or someone will take them away from him.
Second chance…
Would it be too much to ask for a second chance? Would it be wrong to ask for another chance, another lifetime, another tomorrow with them by his side? Would it be wrong to ask for another opportunity despite of the opportunities he wasted? Would it be wrong to wish again if this time, he'll promise and make sure that he'll prove himself worthy of her heart, of her love?
Is he going to lose it all?
Does her bleeding means she's going to lose the baby? Damn it. She might not be able to take it.
There are so many things clouding his mind. He doesn't want to think of anything. It hurts. Everyone, everything is blaming him. Gray, Wendy, Lisanna, his conscience… They were all saying one thing.
It's his fault.
Yes, it is his fault.
And for the umpteenth time that day, his tears rolled down his cheeks again.
Fuck it. His tears are merely nothing compared to the tears he made her shed. But it is so hard to stop them. He's worried. If they are going to lose the baby, it wouldn't just kill him. It will surely kill Lucy too. And he doesn't want her to feel any more pain.
She has already suffered a lot. She had enough. She doesn't deserve to get hurt again. She doesn't have to cry again.
"Sir, are you the husband of the patient?" A nurse came out, asking him about that.
"Yes…"
"The patient is on 50-50, Sir…"
Second chance…
Is it too late to ask for another chance?
Second chance is all he needs that time, coming second after the safety of his family – his wife and their child.
"What on earth are you saying?! How come they were on 50-50? This is a hospital! Dammit! Give them to me alive!"
He was shaking the male nurse to death. Though the nurse understands, he couldn't help himself but to get scared.
"The doctors are doing everything Sir. I'll go back inside."
The door closed once again.
He was silent.
What the fuck is happening?
He used to ask himself what more will gods take from him. He used to believe that they enjoy taking everything away from him. His parents down to Lisanna, and now, Lucy and their child. He thought they just like to snatch something important that's why he asked them to take everything away from him except Lisanna.
He's taking back what he said long ago.
Lucy and their child are his everything. He couldn't afford to lose them.
How could he make such a wish?
What should he do to correct everything? If only an angel could descend and tell him what he should do, it must be easy.
He is damn sorry for everything.
He prays to God to forgive him and let his family be safe. He wants them safe.
"You look pathetic Ash-hole"
"How's Lucy-san?"
"Oi, what are you crying for?" Gajeel asked.
"Uh, is Lucy fine?"
The thought of losing them can really bring him to tears. There are chances that she would wake up, there are chances she wouldn't.
"I don't know." He punched the wall beside him.
"Natsu, it won't fight back." Erza reprimanded him.
"Do you know how much I want to go inside and tell her that I'll never leave her till everything's fine?
Everyone was shocked, but decided to keep silent.
"But the door closed for me twice. Do I deserve forgiveness? Why am I so dumb? Why am I so stupid?"
Gray is right when he told him that you'll only learn the value of a person when you are starting to lose them. Just when he is ready to admit her feelings to her, fate rolled in some crazy stunt again.
Is it funny to throw people out to difficult situations?
He was praying intently with his elbows propped on his knees. He is resting his head down to his clasped hands.
He knows the bench isn't the place to pray, but he couldn't go far away from her.
"Natsu, we'll come back again. Everything will be fine." Levy said. And that's the last thing he heard from them.
They were taking so long. What are they even doing to her? It is almost nine. His eyelids were shutting down, but he is fighting the urge to sleep. He doesn't want to sleep, but something is pulling him to sleep. It was like he's going to lose something he should know if he doesn't sleep.
"Save Lucy…"
It was his last word before he fell asleep.
Suddenly, he regained his consciousness.
X – X – X
Laughters from two people filled his ears. There was a tiny and boyish voice, later on followed by a lovely voice that he thinks he heard somewhere.
Opening his eyes, endless green grass welcomed his sight. The cold yet soothing air gives his chest the best feeling.
"You're awake, Da!" He jerked forward when a tiny human form hopped on his back.
Turning his head back, brown irises on a slanted shaped eyes met his own.
"Yo, Da!"
He's quite cheerful. His blonde hair shines under the sun, making him remember someone he still couldn't comprehend.
His tan skin was at level with his own skin.
"Da!"
"Who are you?" He asked after finally getting a grasp of his voice.
"You don't know me?" The boy asked in a sad tone.
He noticed that they somehow, have a similar tone, accent and voice.
Just then, tears pooled the boy's eyes, making him panic to where he is sitting.
"Uh, don't cry on me."
But still, the boy wouldn't stop.
Out of impulse, he grabbed the child under his arm, lifted him up and hugged him.
A gasp escaped on Natsu's mouth. He feels like they are one, but he is still wondering who the child might be.
"Stop crying, okay? Da is here." He said, though he doesn't know why he is calling him Da.
The kid pulled apart and wiped his tears. He smiled before cupping Natsu's cheeks.
"I won't be long, Da. I just have to tell you something Ma told me to tell you." He said.
"Ma?"
"Yeah. Ma."
"Who's your Ma?"
"Secret!"
"Tell me, please? Or maybe, tell me where she is."
"No." He stated firmly. Later on, he cried again.
"You'll just make her cry again. Ma loves you. She always loves you, even though it hurts. I want Ma to smile. She couldn't tell you this and she will never have the chance to tell you how much she loves you that's why she asked me to do this. Why are you making her cry? Don't you love Ma?"
He felt dizzy. Pictures of a blonde girl, a beautiful woman whose smile is so beautiful entered his mind. There were lots of pictures. She got married, and there he was on her side. It made him think if they were married. But why isn't she smiling? The next pictures were Lucy with her fake smiles.
"Lucy…"
It's weird, but he could feel something just by looking at the pictures that were flooding his mind. Pain, betrayal, sadness, name it.
"I…"
"We're going now. It's nice to meet you, Da."
He ran away, and then stopped in front of a tall figure.
"Lucy…"
Her smile. It was something he didn't see for a long time since they got married. Is it going to be the last time he will see it?
Slowly, she raised a hand and waved it.
"Bye."
His eyes went wide. Without his consent, salty waters flowed down like a waterfall down his eyes. He extended a hand, in hope that she will reach it, but she didn't.
"Wait. Don't go!"
She frowns. Brilliant lines flowed down her cheeks.
Tears.
She was crying again.
Is making her cry the only thing he could really do to her?
He felt stiff.
He was just staring while they were walking away from him. They were getting meters and meters apart, she and their child.
He wants to follow them, but he is so scared. He doesn't want to see her cry. He doesn't want to be the reason of her tears anymore. He wants her to be happy.
She deserves happiness.
Let go.
Is it really the only option left?
If he would run to her, would it be better?
Stay away or stay close?
Still, his tears won't stop.
"I love you." He said.
He loves her so much it's so hard to stay away.
Why would he be scared of getting close to her? Why would he be scared of getting her back?
He promised to himself that he would never let her cry again. He made a promise that he will do everything to save her.
He couldn't leave her. She still needs him, and he needs her.
He won't allow the meter distance to turn into something immeasurable.
"I LOVE YOU, LUCY!" He shouted, making her look back.
Just when she successfully looked back, her face met a cloth figure.
"Natsu…"
"I made a promise, right? Do you remember? I said everything will be fine. I'll make everything right. Fight Lucy."
The hug was so warm it defies the cold air around.
In his arms, Lucy feels so sound. She could hear his heart beating so loud.
To have her in his arms, it was like a dream. Though he was really in a dream. Would it be too much if he'll ask for that moment to be real?
There are lots of things he needs to tell her. If only that moment was real, he could talk about it, but not. He is in the middle of fantasy and reality.
Which one is true? If he will wake up, what part of it will become true and which will remain a fantasy?
Which of those pleasant moments is going to remain a dream?
"What was that three words you said?" She asked, not believing what she heard.
"You have to wake up first if you really want to hear it." He whispered in her ears.
Silver dusts floated around. When they looked down on the little kid, who was their child, Natsu was surprised to see him slowly vanishing.
"Hey… What's happening?"
He turned to Lucy.
She is vanishing too. She is turning into specs of golden dusts.
"Where are you going?! Don't go!"
Fear rises again. Just when he can hug her finally, why does she have to go?
"Wake up."
X – X – X
"Sir."
He jolted on his seat.
The first thing he remembered was the dream. It really was a dream.
More importantly,
"How is my wife?"
Anticipation runs through the air.
No words can explain how he is feeling that time. Was it the positive 50 or the negative 50?
Everything is silent. Even his heart seemed to stop beating.
If everything won't turn out good, then he shouldn't have woken up.
What is life if one day, you are just going to wake up with no one beside you? Loneliness will be forever etched at every corner of the room. To wake up knowing that you are alone in this cruel world will be hell.
The pain will surely not subside. Everyday will be longer than normal days. Rainy days will be much lonelier. Sunny days will be hotter than usual. Windy days will just make him feel how cold it is to be left alone.
Is he going to experience that? If so, would it make her happy in return?
He had decided that he will make everything right. But in the end, his mind and heart are still clashing.
And the doctor in front of him isn't still answering. It makes him go insane.
"Doc?"
"They are…"
I promise to be a good man. Just please let this doctor say they are fine.
"I must say… Your wife and the baby are so strong."
And just like that, his hope surge up the sky.
Hi. Im so sorry for posting it for the second time and deleting it for the second time. Well, it wont happen for the third time. Im so sorry for any errors, Im too lazy. Im so sorry my dear readers (if I have any) for making you wait for this. Im truly sorry. Truth is, I deleted this story for the second time for a reason.
Anyways, thanks. Peace on Earth. The second half here.
Tcare.
-Aia
