This one was right after Edward said that Bella has free reign of Alice's shoe warehouse:
"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, YOU PUT DOWN THOSE FLATS RIGHT NOW! JUST BECAUSE I SAID YOU COULD BORROW ANY OF MY SHOES DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE A SAY IN WHICH ONES!" Alice continued yelling as she walked up the stairs, came into her room and began throwing different shoes at me. "AND WHAT ARE YOU THINKING EVEN PICKING THOSE UP? YOU'RE NOT WEARING ANYTHING WITH LESS THAN A TWO INCH HEEL! I BET YOU WERE PLANNING ON WEARING YOUR HAIR IN A PONYTAIL AND THROWING ON SOME FOUNDATION, WEREN'T YOU? THIS IS A SEMI-FORMAL EVENT! GRADUATION, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" She finally stopped long enough for Edward to tell her to stop yelling. In response, Alice held out a pair of strappy silver heels to me. "Put them on," she commanded. She was still glaring at Edward as she said it, clearly thinking incredibly malevolent thoughts.
And this one was right after Emmett saluted Charlie because I was REALLY bored.
"If I had a dollar for every stupid thing he's ever done, I'd buy out Louis Vuitton," Alice sighed dully.
"You can't," Edward reminded her.
"I know, I know!" she said irritably, "It was worth a try though. I wonder if I could buy the rights to Project Runway from Heidi Klum. 'So sorry. You are out. Auf Wiedersehen!'" she said in a perfect German accent. "Tim Gunn can stay tough. I like him."
I stared at her in disbelief.
"What?" she asked bluntly.
"Nothing, you're just acting very… odd today," I tried to explain without hurting her feelings.
"Don't worry, she always gets this way when large chains refuse to sell out to her. If it were anyone but Alice this would be weird, but it is Alice so it's not," Edward said in one really long fast breath.
Conclusion for today: Vampires have their crack days too.
A/N: Back to work! Hope you liked these little moments of OOC Alice-ness (because she's my favorite )
-Alice C.
