Not What He Seems Part 12
By Phantaz-magoria
A/N: Holy cow, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to write! Agh! Fortunately, hard part's over. Next one should come much quicker. Also, any lack of quality in this piece is probably due to me throwing up my hands and accepting that I was never going to get this chapter perfect. Thank you all so much for reviewing ie, guilting me into not giving up. Every single one of you rocks!
* * *
"Well, now. Isn't this a pretty kettle of fish?"
Glitch startled and twisted around. His hand flew up to his chest, he was certain his heart had skipped a beat, and he growled angrily, "Why do you always sneak up on people like that?"
Ambrose shrugged. "It's in my nature." He stood tall and straight in a black three piece suit, a naked blade held casually in his left hand.
Glitch looked around. They were standing on a silver beach, dark waves pounding against the sand with a roar. The moon and the stars shone as bright as daylight, flooding the area with ghostly light. The breeze that wrapped around them was warm and smelled of lavender and sea air.
"Why... uh... why do you have a sword, Ambrose?"
Ambrose twirled the blade expertly before resting it against his shoulder. "I'm a knight of the realm, Glitch. I'm trained to react to all threats with precision and deliberation." His glare was cold. "And finality."
"I'm, uh... I'm not really a threat, am I?"
"You've just spent a good deal of effort to prove to me that you are."
Glitch looked around again, nervously trying to find an escape route. He had spoken to Ambrose before, but this was the first time he'd ever gotten such a distinct vibe of animosity from him. They'd fought often, but Ambrose had never looked so much like he wanted to kill him as he did now. "How did we get here?"
"You killed us. We're dead. Mission accomplished."
"I didn't mean to KILL US, kill us. Are we really that dead?"
"As a doornail."
"You seem angry."
"Do I?"
"Yeah, a little bit."
"I can't imagine why that would be." Ambrose took a step forward.
Glitch took a step backward. "What... what are you doing, Ambrose?"
"The weak go quickly to their graves. A lesson better learned sooner than later."
Glitch was laughing nervously and back-peddling faster. "I don't suppose you could say that in simpler terms, could you?"
"Play with fire and you get burned."
"Ah! Yes, see? That I understood!"
Glitch turned and sprinted as fast as he could along the beach, only to skid to a halt and fall to his knees in the sand. Ambrose was already ahead of him and he hadn't even moved. "How are you doing this?
"We're in my mind, Glitch. You can kill us, you've certainly proved that, but in here, I hold dominion and I can destroy you. Pick up the sword."
Glitch looked down, in front of him in the sand was a sword identical to Ambrose's from the intricate etching on the thin blade to the elegant metalwork of the hilt and hand guard. "This is a really pretty sword, Ambrose, did you make it yourself?"
"En guarde."
Glitch was shaking as he picked the sword up. "Ambrose, please..."
"Please, what? Don't kill you? I'll take it under consideration. Stand up."
"I don't... please..."
"You want me to listen to you, Glitch. Fine. Here's your chance, and I'm only giving you one. You think you've got the guts to stand up to me, to stand up for what you believe in? Prove it."
Knees quivering and butterflies in his stomach, Glitch stood slowly, holding the sword awkwardly in front of him. Ambrose watched him dispassionately, a predator sizing up his prey. Glitch was more afraid now then he could ever remember being before. Ambrose was going to tear him apart like a wolf with a baby calf and there was nothing he could do to stop him.
After some moments, Ambrose smirked, the smile not reaching his cold, glittering black eyes. "Guard." He lifted his own sword in demonstration. Glitch swallowed and copied him.
Suddenly, faster than Glitch would have believed possible, Ambrose went from being ten feet away to ten inches away. Glitch had only barely gotten his sword up in time to block. Sparks flew as metal screeched against metal and the sheer force of Ambrose's charging attack knocked Glitch backwards and he fell over his feet, landing on his back in the cool sand. He rolled out of the way and onto his feet just in time to avoid a downward sweep of the silver blade. He lunged at Ambrose, who deflected his attack almost casually and kicked him hard in the ribs. Glitch fell with a gasp, breath whooshing out of his lungs.
"Word of advice, keep your feet underneath you. Helps you keep your balance, makes it easier to recover."
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks." Glitch rolled over and struggled to his feet, wheezing, but keeping his sword between him and Ambrose. He slashed at Ambrose, but it was easily blocked.
Ambrose sighed. "Are you going to follow through, or are you going to just stand there?"
Glitch grit his teeth and attacked again. Ambrose parried and back stepped, staying just out of reach of Glitch's thrusting attacks. Glitch continued to swing his sword, and Ambrose glowered while he blocked and parried. "You know that the purpose of attacking is to hit me and not my sword, right?"
Glitch was concentrating very hard, sweat beading on his brow and upper lip. This was so much easier when he and Cain had fought the long coats. He didn't have to think about what he was doing, he just had to move with the rhythm. Here, he couldn't rely on that. Lightning arced across the sky, illuminating the world in harsh white light. Glitch's chest hurt horribly and he wrapped his free arm around his torso. Maybe Ambrose had broken his ribs with that kick earlier. "I'm TRYING to hit you, but you're making it difficult."
"Might have an easier time if you stop waving that sword like feather duster, Glitch."
Glitch only barely had a second to be angry before he noticed that Ambrose's stance had changed. Suddenly Glitch was falling back under a powerful and impossibly fast onslaught of blows. Ambrose's sword was a never ending blur of silver and Glitch fell back, unsure how he was even holding him off. Blow after blow reigned down on him and sweat dripped into his eyes, stinging and blinding him.
This is it, he thought. I'm about to die.
Ambrose caught Glitch's hilt with his sword and twisted his blade, sending Glitch's sword flying. Glitch fell to the ground, a silver point pressed to his throat. Lightning flashed again and Glitch's chest felt like it was on fire. The sword point wavered as Ambrose's attention was diverted to the sky. Now was his chance. Remembering how he had beaten Ambrose the last time they fought, Glitch imagined his sword in his hand and there it was, cold and hard in his grip. He didn't think, didn't hesitate. He lunged upward, sinking the tip of the sword deep into Ambrose's belly. Ambrose groaned and his face twisted in pain. He opened his eyes Glitch met them look for look. The expressions on both of their faces was undecipherable. Ambrose raised his sword, ready to stab it downwards. Glitch shoved again, sliding his sword into Ambrose all the way to the hilt. Ambrose gasped and lowered his own sword, setting the point in the sand and using it to support his weight. Glitch let go of the hilt and scrambled backwards in the sand, breathing heavily. Ambrose staggered.
It was hard to say who was more shocked by what had happened, Ambrose or Glitch. Glitch stared at Ambrose, horrified at what he had done. Ambrose stared down at the hilt buried in his abdomen, then he smiled and sank to his knees. He looked at Glitch, wry amusement shining in his eyes. "Bravo, Glitch. I can honestly say that you have thoroughly succeeded in surprising me."
The warm breeze twirled around them, teasing silvery whiffs of sand into the air. The waves pounded on the shore, their steady roar filling Glitch's ears. Lightning flashed again and Glitch looked up at the sky. There wasn't a cloud up there... lightning needed clouds, didn't it?
Ambrose laughed quietly, looking upwards. "I think your girlfriend is trying to rescue you."
"DG? She's causing the lightning?"
"The heart beats according to an electrical rhythm. You stopped our heart. It makes sense to use electrical pulses to start it again. Good idea, can't say that I would have thought of it myself, though... Agh..." His face twisted again in pain and he bent forward to hide his grimace.
"Ambrose? Are you okay?" Tears formed in Glitch's eyes and he almost started forward to help, but the strangeness of the whole situation kept him frozen to the spot.
Ambrose chuckled and leaned back again. "Glitch, why are you even asking me that?"
"Because I don't want you to die. I didn't want to hurt you."
"We don't always get the things we want, Glitch." Lightning struck again and Ambrose looked up at the sky, face pale and bright in the moonlight, a serene expression on his face. The wind picked up, bringing in new scents from a distant garden, jasmine and lilies now, ruffling their hair and clothes. Ambrose groaned as he began pulling the sword slowly out of his body. With a gasp of pain, it came free and he dropped it in favor for clutching at the wound in his belly. "A black wind begins to blow... I think you should be leaving, now. Your princess is eager to see that you're alright."
"Are you coming too?"
"I'll be along shortly. I'd like to stay for a bit. It's peaceful here in the starlight, wouldn't you agree?"
"Yeah, I guess. You will be coming though, won't you? You aren't just going to leave me, are you?"
"Of course I'm not going to leave you, Glitch. You're just starting to get interesting. You'd better hurry up, though. It's rude to keep a lady waiting."
Glitch stood and brushed the sand off his trousers. "Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"I'll be fine. See you soon." Ambrose laid back on the sand and closed his eyes, his face a stark and ghostly white in the moonlight.
Glitch started forward. "Ambrose..." Then the world began swirling and he watched as Ambrose and the beach and the night sky all shimmered and dissolved into impossibly bright light...
* * *
The light was painfully bright and stung his eyes badly when he opened them. Thousands of needles felt like they were stabbing him in the eyes and temples, his chest felt like a vice had squeezed him until his ribs had shattered and his throat was dry and felt like the inside had been scoured with sand paper.
"Glitch! Glitch, thank God you're alive!" Thin arms grabbed him and pulled him up and he was being held tightly against a very warm and soft body.
"Deeg?"
"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Her face was pressed to his and her hands were in his hair and holding him close and then she kissed him and he could taste salty tears on her lips.
Glitch blinked, trying to bring the blurry world into focus. "You're crying... don't cry, doll." He brought his hand up and brushed the hair from her face and he could see her grief stricken eyes, bright as cornflowers. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hand.
"I thought I'd killed you. When I slapped you, and you stopped breathing, I thought..." A sob tore from her throat. "I thought that I did something to your brain, that I'd knocked something loose and that you were going to die because I'd killed you and I was so terrified I was going to lose you, Glitch!"
Glitch wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "It's okay, honey. You're not going to lose me, Deeg, I promise." The blurriness in his vision had mostly abated and Glitch looked around, seeing Cain's worried face not far away. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees.
"You gave us quite a scare, headcase."
"I didn't mean to. It was the only way I could stop him from hurting her..."
DG pulled back and looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"He was going to hit you. After you slapped him, he was going to throw you across the room. I had to stop him, Deeg."
"Glitch..." DG held his face in her hands. "My hero, my love... Thank you for saving me. But if you ever... EVER... hurt yourself like that again, even if it is to save me... So help me, I will never speak to you again. Is that clear?"
Glitch looked away. "I don't think you need to worry about that, DG..." A tear tracked slowly down his cheek. "I think... I think I killed him."
* * *
It was peaceful here in the moonlight. The waves beat gently at the silvery sand and the stars shone so bright Ambrose could see up and down the empty beach for miles. The silvery water swirled around Ambrose's ankles and the water was warm, as was the sweet evening breeze that wrapped around him, smelling like jasmine and lilies and sea water.
He stood there, breathing in the night air, the roar of the waves, the warm water at his feet. It was nice. Pleasant. Even if it wasn't real... It was wonderfully pleasant.
One second he was alone on the beach, the next he could see a man walking along the shoreline towards him. Ambrose wasn't in a hurry. The man would get here when he got here. In the meantime, he closed his eyes and tilted his face to the sky, drinking in the moonlight like a fine wine to be savored, like he could absorb it through his skin.
"Ambrose."
The voice was familiar. Achingly familiar. Intimately familiar. Ambrose's eyes shot open in surprise.
"Daniel."
"Yeah, it's me."
His face was just as Ambrose remembered, strong and sensitive with azure blue eyes and reddish gold hair.
"You aren't really here..." The shock was horrible, the pain unbearable. He shook his head, rationalizing, not letting himself get his hopes up. "You're nothing but a hallucination. A product of oxygen deprivation and misfiring synapses. You're not real."
"It's possible. You know better than anyone the power of the mind."
"I thought I couldn't do this anymore, get lost in fantasy... After my brain got split in half... It takes an imagination, and I'm a little short on that these days."
"It might be because you're dead, puppy."
Ambrose frowned and looked back out at the sea. "That could account for it."
Daniel stepped up behind Ambrose and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "You don't seem too surprised."
"You would be amazed at what it takes to surprise me these days. And it isn't as if I haven't been dead before."
Daniel's voice was a soothing timbre in his ear. "Tell me."
"The first time was after Leona died. I overdosed on narcotics. Ahamo found me in the lab when I missed her funeral." Ambrose pulled Daniel's arms tighter around him.
"Second time?"
"Second time was after you died. Hit the drugs and alcohol pretty hard. Then DG died not even a week later... wasn't planning on coming back out after that. Ahamo found me again. They kept me under pretty tight scrutiny for a while. How did that happen, anyway?" Ambrose turned his head to see Daniel's face.
"How did what happen?"
"You were always such a strong swimmer..."
"I saw Az drowning in the lake. She was screaming for help. I had to save her. Had to try."
"They told me it was a boating accident. I think if I had known... I don't know. If I'd had more proof, they might have believed me. I might have been able to do something. Change something. I don't know."
"You can't change the past, puppy."
"It's just like you, though."
"What's that?"
Ambrose was relaxing back into Daniel's embrace. "Dying nobly to save someone you love. Sort of reminds me of how we met."
"As I recall, I thought you were a bit of an obnoxious prick at the time. Love had nothing to do with it."
"And you saved me anyway. It was very sweet."
"Ambrose, you hardly needed saving."
"I had a shattered leg and the tunnel was collapsing."
"You rescued me from a minotaur. What was I supposed to do?"
"Leave me on the floor to bleed?" Daniel just shook his head and held him tighter. Ambrose smiled and looked up at the stars, his lover's arms wrapped around him. "I wish I could stay here with you forever."
"You can't, puppy."
"How long do I have?"
"Not long. You've only been dead a few seconds, but there's a lot we need to talk about."
"Seems like it's been hours."
"Mind can play tricks on you. But you know that."
"Yes. That I do."
Soft lips pressed against his cheek. "Sit down and have a cuddle with me." Strong arms pulled him down onto the cool sand and gathered him up and Ambrose felt like he was home. So comforting and so wonderful did it feel that tears sprung to his eyes at the thought of having to leave this perfect moment. "Don't cry, puppy, you know you can't stay."
"I miss you, Daniel."
"I miss you too. And you'll be with me again sometime, but that's no reason why you can't live while you're alive."
"That's a little redundant, don't you think?"
"And you're dodging, don't you think?"
"I'm alive. I'm living."
"In fear."
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"Except losing control."
"What is with you people and harping on that one little thing?"
"I'm not the only one, then?"
"DG found out. She won't let me forget it. Glitch mentioned it, too... Where is he? He was supposed to be taking care of this whole dying business."
"He is. He's waiting for you to come back. It's taking some time for the oxygen to return to your brain. In the meantime, you've got me for company. Tell me about him."
"Glitch. He's... Well, what can I say? He's the other half of my brain. He's the person you fell in love with, Daniel. The happy one. The one that everyone likes. The one that I can't ever be."
"Has it occurred to you that maybe I fell in love with you because you do so much for so many people and still worry that it's never enough?"
"I'm told I can be a bit of an asshole."
"And I loved you anyway. DG can do the same."
"She loves Glitch."
"She loves you both. Why are you so afraid of that?"
"What makes you think I'm afraid?"
"Because I know you, puppy." Warm arms held him tighter.
"You calling me a coward, Danny-boy?"
"I don't think anyone could call you a coward, love. I think you have some emotional issues that you like to keep on the back burner. She's not going to disappear on you if you love her back, you know."
"Easy thing for you to say, but I loved you back and you aren't exactly hanging around, are you?"
"That's not fair, Ambrose, and you know it."
"It's not cheating, either. You know what they say; all's fair in love and war."
"True. But I need you to start listening to me, Ambrose. It's important."
"What have I got to lose?"
"Your alter ego just tried to murder you. Twice. Thought I'd mention that... Speaking of, what was that second time about?"
"What? The part where Glitch stabbed me?"
"Yeah, that part. I saw the whole thing. You could have skewered him right off the bat. Why didn't you?"
"That wouldn't have achieved anything."
"It would have proved your point."
"I still proved my point, but I achieved something a little more important."
"What could that have been?"
"He scared me, Daniel. I don't want him getting it into his head that every time we have a problem, he can just cut off our oxygen supply to get his way."
"So... you brought him here. Oooookay... I guess that makes sense. Up until the part where you didn't skewer him right off the bat."
"He wouldn't have learned anything if I'd done that."
"I still don't see what letting him run you through could have taught him."
"And that is why you can't beat me at chess, darling. You don't see the whole game board. If he thinks that I'm not as much of a threat to him here, then he won't be afraid to face me here. Here, I can take whatever he cares to throw at me and brush it off like its nothing. A stab wound? Sure, it's uncomfortable, but it can't kill me, where as in the real world, if he pulls another stunt like the one he just did..." Ambrose trailed off, the memory of the terror he had felt, the helplessness, making him cold inside. "There was nothing I could do, Daniel... And the next time, he might succeed a little more permanently than I strictly feel comfortable with."
Daniel sighed thoughtfully, pressing the side of his face against Ambrose's "Would that really change anything?"
"If I was dead, yes, that would change something. I don't really want to be dead. I wouldn't mind too terribly if it happened, but that's not the same as wanting it to."
"Living isn't the same as being alive. What makes you think you aren't dead already?"
"That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."
"Unfortunately for you, I'm just an extension of your imagination. So... technically that's the stupidest thing you've heard yourself say."
"Is it just me, or did we already go over this?"
"I need you to take it to heart because I may not get another chance to tell you."
Ambrose was silent for a moment, working that around in his brain. "I'm not going to see you again, am I?"
"Probably not. Not until you die again a little more permanently."
"Something to look forward to, I guess."
"Ambrose..."
"DG is nice. She's wonderful, but she's not the same as you."
"I would hope not. But she loves you."
"She shouldn't. I'm not a lovable guy. I'm willful to a fault, I'm difficult, and pretentious. I hate most people with a passion, not to mention I'm a cold-blooded killer. There is nothing about me that she should love and I don't understand why she would."
"Can you really think so little of yourself? And so little of me that I would have devoted myself entirely to the man you've described?"
"Daniel..."
"People love you. You don't have to be perfect, puppy, you just have to accept it. You need to accept it."
"I don't think I can love her back... not the same way I loved you."
"That's the beauty of the thing. It doesn't have to be the same. You aren't replacing me, Ambrose. I know that, believe me, I do. I just want you to be happy."
Ambrose sighed and drew a shape in the sand with the heel of his foot. "Happy is as happy does and we're all happy just because..."
Daniel hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his hair. "Only a nut ball like you can recite something like that and sound like you're being marched to the gallows while doing it."
"I love you Daniel. I don't want to have to say goodbye again." The familiar aching pain in his chest was choking him, making it hard to breathe.
"Then don't. Say 'goodnight' and I'll see you when you wake up."
Ambrose laughed sadly, tears in his eyes. "Goodnight, Danny-boy."
"Sweet dreams, puppy." Soft lips pressed against his own and Ambrose kissed him back like a man dying of thirst taking his last drink of water as the peaceful world around him began to fade away and dissolve into nothingness.
* * *
Much later that night, when Glitch was alone in his room trying desperately to listen inside his head for a familiar voice, a sudden aching sadness filled him and he began to cry. He couldn't explain the hollow misery, or the hot flood of tears, or the wrenching soul twisting sobs that tore from his body. He just let it happen, sitting on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, shaking and crying, howling with a desperate intense pain that he didn't even know that he felt.
He stayed like that for minutes or hours, he couldn't tell which. Then a quiet voice whispered in the back of his mind...
Hey, Glitch...?
Ambrose! Where have you been? I was worried sick about you!
I know. I've been here... thinking...
Really? What about?
You, me, us. Could you, uh... could you do me a favor?
Sure. What do you need?
I think I could really use a hug, right now...
Glitch was a little taken aback. It was Ambrose that was hurting so badly, that was making them both cry so hard! He hadn't thought that he could feel so much heart wrenching pain because he couldn't. He wasn't capable of it. But Ambrose could...
It explained a lot. He wondered why he had never felt any of these feelings before. But then, this was Ambrose. Ambrose wouldn't have let him feel them, but for some reason, right now, it was too much for him to hold onto and still, Glitch suspected he was only getting a small trickle of what Ambrose was feeling. He was trying to shield him. Even after what Glitch had done today, Ambrose was still trying to protect him, even if he was failing to keep the pain all to himself.
Sure, Ambrose. Hugs are easy.
Glitch tried to smile through the tears that still streamed down his face. He would just have to prove to Ambrose that it was alright. That he didn't have to be strong all the time. Glitch could be strong for them some of the time. He did his best to send every warm and happy thought, every wonderful feeling he could remember to the dark corner of his mind where Ambrose had been hiding. He thought of daisy's and hot chocolate and kittens and sunny days and muglug soup and DG's smile and being safe and warm and cared for. He thought of all these things as hard as he could for as long as he could.
Just before they both fell asleep, Glitch could hear Ambrose's grateful voice.
Thank you...
