#GladiatorsJustBreathe! Here is your long awaited update for this chapter. I didn't end it the way I planned because well I wrote too much. Not that you all mind. I also changed the closing in this chapter because of what happened on Thursday night #KissKissBangBang.
Don't worry I'll think you'll enjoy. Please leave me tons of "seeds" because they make me smile and update sooner. Me's ;-)
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Chapter12: "Just Breathe…"
Olivia for the entire ride to Boston, road on the chopper, and looked intently out the window. Her heart was beating in her chest so quickly that she thought that she could have a heart attack any minute. Part of it was about her grandfather, the other, was well because she kissed Fitz, her boss, the President.
She had wanted that kiss to happen all weekend, and she knew he did also. Olivia felt a small smile begin to form over her lips, as she touched them. Fitz's lips were soft like she dreamed. He tasted like whatever coffee he drank. She could only imagine, if she allowed him to deepen the kiss, what that moment would have been like. The thought of having their tongues touch was causing her toes to curl already.
She did not regret the decision, and a part of her wished it happened sooner. Everything about Fitz was perfect. Between his eyes, hair, smile, and that body, that man was beyond words. Olivia had no idea where he came from but, it warmed her heart that he wanted her, just as much as she wanted him. He was willing to "woo" her, which was something that didn't happen in this world anymore.
Olivia was grateful that he wanted to take things "one breath at a time," but could they continue whatever they started at Camp David; if they indeed started anything. At Camp David, they were just them. No White House, no press, no one else. She finally began to let him see her, and Fitz did the same. It was refreshing yet, scary all at once.
There at Camp David, for the first time, she was reminded just to be herself. She wasn't the polished fixer, press secretary, or Communications Director for the White House. She was "just" Olivia, or in this case "Livy," his Livy more importantly. Every time he was near, touched her hair, they held hands, or he kissed her face, hand, her hardened shell fell. She was letting him in, whether she wanted to or not. The man had some "magic superpowers" of his own, and wherever they came from, he knew how to work them.
For the first time, she saw him as just "Fitz." However the truth remained, that HE IS THE PRESIDENT. He would always be the President whether he was in office or not. He was part of a special "brotherhood" only a few other men on the planet had the pleasure to be apart of. She HAD to keep that in mind. Could she really write his speeches, give press conferences, and go up to the residence at night to be with him, Karen and Jerry. That was not her home, even though she sensed he wanted it to be. Or was it?
She had these questions and more running around in her brain. Olivia wanted him, more than anything in the world. But it wasn't his body, (as nice as it is) that attracted her to Fitz. It was his mind, heart, and soul. No man she had ever seen touched her the way he had, and so quickly. Fitz was in her system, and no matter who much she denied it, and didn't wanted it to be different, this pull towards him was undeniable.
Fitz challenged her brain to fire all on levels all the time. Many times already they had heated arguments over what should be in his State of the Union address. At times he infuriated her to the point where she literally walked away from him, unable to think. Then it was like he flipped a switch and that hardened "Presidential" exterior melted away, and he let her see into his own heart; a heart that was shattered and broken like hers. A heart that was alone, looking for its other half.
In these fleeting moments when it was just the two of them, and sometimes the kids, she just saw Fitz the man, and Fitz the father. She saw the man that loved his country and wanted to help people. Olivia knew that was why he got into this job to begin with. He wanted to give Americans a better way of life, and make this our Nation great.
But as he lowered that "Presidential" exterior, she little by little saw a man, who was hurt deeply by his ex-wife. This man was trying to be a father to his children, giving them his all whenever he could. Giving Karen and Jerry the "Dad" they deserved. Fitz did not tell her about his relationship with his father, but from their one conversation, she assumed it was not the best.
Here was the most Powerful man in the World, trying to do the hardest job one could have, and he was giving it more heart, love, and devotion than she had ever seen. She knew he was trying to give that to her, to show her, she was worthy of him, but it still frightened her.
Little by little, she realized Fitz broke through every one of her defense mechanisms she put in place long ago. She did this to prevent herself from experiencing the loss and devastation; and vowed never to let anyone in like that again. However she realized that it wasn't just Fitz that broke through her "Chinese Wall," it was his children.
Karen and Jerry Grant broke through with a king-sized bulldozer the first day she met them, at that first breakfast Fitz made for her, weeks ago. She didn't even realize it happened until she told Jenny, after their visit to the White House. Karen and Jerry began to heal her broken heart without her ever even realizing it had happened. Piece by piece, encounter after encounter, they were making her whole and healed again.
But a piece of her was still shattered and tucked away in a corner afraid to come out into the light. It was the piece of her heart she kept hidden, under lock and key. This piece no one was allowed to touch or been seen again. That was until Fitzgerald Grant came along, and began to lift the dark veil she had it covered with for protection.
That started to happen the moment she met Fitz. The moment their eyes connected in Cyrus office. But it wasn't just their eyes that connected that day; it was two long lost souls that had been looking for each other all their lives. Once that occurred, the black veil she kept over her heart began to fade away. Of course she fought to keep it there, but the more time she spent with Fitz, the more he was pulling it away, lifting it so he could let some light back into her life.
That was the reason, she would not allow herself to call him Fitz. He was her boss, The President of the United States. It was a line she did not want to cross, even though her heart was dragging her over it already. Being a divorced President was a feet upon itself. She figured he could date and be with anyone. But he wanted her. That thought alone, placed a smile on her face, she didn't think existed anymore.
This weekend, Fitz gave her something she had not had in so long; a family. She told him that her family was close, but every since her heart break, she was distant even with them. She walled that piece of her life up, so it would not be broken again. Camp David changed that for her. Fitz was willing to take his time to get to know her, something a man had not been eager to do in a long time.
Most men she encountered did not care what she thought or had to say. But Fitz cared, really cared. It mattered to him. She just knew that he wanted to know everything, even her deepest and darkest secret. But that secret, even now was pain, she could not tell him yet.
If she did, would he turn away from her? Would he leave her too, like everyone she loved dearly? Would Fitz blame her, causing her to experience that feeling of emptiness all over again. Yes she was told it wasn't her fault. To have something you loved ripped away from you, when you wanted it so badly, caused a pain she never wanted to experience again. Then thinking you had the support to get through it, and they leave you too. She could not go through that again.
If she told Fitz, she feared she would lose him. He would see that part of her, and come to realize, maybe she wasn't the woman he thinks she is. That maybe they can't do this after all. She is trying to let him inside, but it was so hard. This one piece of herself, that she has kept hidden for so long, could she really do it. Can she let Fitz into that last piece of her heart? Not only that, but once she allowed that to happen, she'd never been able to get it back. She knew Fitz would hold onto that and never give it back.
This last piece is the window to her soul; a soul stained, broken, afraid to take chances on love, and happiness. This window she slammed shut long ago. Olivia told herself, she would never let anyone in like that again. Her mind was telling her to let him in gradually. But her heart, every time she tried, shut it like the vault at Fort Knox. If she let go of that heart ache, would Fitz be there to catch her from falling. In losing him she would not only lose herself, but the "family" he gave to her, without even realizing it.
She was so lost in her mind, that without realizing it they were now in Boston. Mitch tapped her arm to get her attention. He told her that the hospital was about 15 minutes out. You could almost see it in the horizon. Olivia gave him a faint smile, and could feel the tears again.
Mitch was a great Secret Service Agent, and she gave him a faint smile. "It's going to be okay Ma'am," he told her. "The President cares for you very much."
Olivia looked at him. "I know. Mitch I…" she wanted to make sure that he would not say anything to anyone about what he saw.
"I am by your side and The President's Ma'am- always. I will never betray either one of your confidence. I am here to protect both of you." Mitch said to her, as the helicopter began its final approach.
"Thank you Mitch," she said as she gave his hand a light squeeze.
"Miss Pope, it's really going to be okay. Just remember to just breathe okay," Mitch told her, trying to help ease her fears.
"Okay but how do you know?" She asked him as the chopper began to land on the top of the hospital.
"It's what you call faith Ma'am." Mitch told her. Olivia smiled, and the helicopter landed softly on the ground. Someone came out to greet Olivia and Mitch and assured them into the hospital to the floor where her grandfather was about to have his surgery.
/
"Protecting Olivia Pope…"
Back at Camp David, Fitz had run through his speech a few times, reciting the words to Lionel, Elizabeth and the kids. These were the words that Olivia had written for him, with his corrections. He wanted to make her proud. Even though he was doing his best to concentrate on the address, his mind kept wandering to her.
He smiled, and he knew that Lionel, Elizabeth, and the kids, all saw their kiss. He turned away briefly and looked out the window, so he could touch his lips, the place where Olivia kissed him. If he had placed money in that bet, he himself would have lost. He thought for sure that he would have kissed her, but every time he tried, other forces got in the way.
But when her lips graced his, and he felt her press them against his own, Fitz lost his footing. He lost all thoughts, his mind went blank, and his heart turned to mush. How could one woman do that in only a short kiss to a man? Her lips were softer than he thought possible. If she allowed him to deepen the kiss, there would have been no way, he'd let her leave.
He was so stunned by the kiss, that when she said his name, if it was not for Tom, Fitz would have fallen on the ground. He had always hated his name, because of his father. But now, he could not wait to hear its sweet sound coming out of her mouth; the mouth that he would never grow tired of.
He turned back to his speech, and could feel his cheeks turn red. Karen and Jerry grinned at him, knowing what he was thinking. Lionel shook his head, and Elizabeth grinned at him. He ran through it a few more times, and as the last two hours went by, he had not heard anything from Mitch or her yet, and was beginning to worry.
He put the speech down and went to find Tom. "Tom," he called.
"Yes Sir." Tom said coming into the room.
"Have you heard if she made it to Boston yet? The chopper should have landed on the roof by now." Fitz asked, with his voice full of worry.
"Yes Sir. Mitch just phoned. They had just reached the surgical wing that Miss Pope's grandfather is on. They landed about 15 minutes ago." Tom told Fitz.
Fitz stood up. "Is she alright?"
"Yes Mr. President she is hanging in there. Once the medical staff came out to meet the chopper, Miss Pope took off running, practically tripping over her high heeled boots she is wearing. He told me that Miss Pope would phone you and the kids as soon as she is able. Right now she has to speak to the doctors, her family, and see her grandfather."
"Tom did she say…" Fitz tried to ask if she missed him or anything.
" Mitch said that he can tell that she misses you and the kids," Tom told Fitz hoping it would make him feel better.
"Did she say that?" Fitz asked hopeful. She had only been gone a short time, but how he missed her so much already.
"I don't know Sir. If you want, I can pass him a note at study hall to give to her next time I see him if you want me to," Tom said to Fitz jokingly.
Fitz chuckled and finally laughed. "No Tom that's fine. If I don't hear from her by tonight I'll call her myself. I'm just worried about her. Thank you."
"It's my pleasure Mr. President." Tom said back. Tom wanted to talk to him and decided to get the other agents that were there with him to come. Karen and Jerry were busy with Lionel and Elizabeth, so it was the perfect time. Sometime later, Tom found Fitz reading over the State of the Union in the study.
Tom knocked on the door. The agents on his detail with him came into the room. Fitz stood up and came in front of the desk, wondering what was going on. "Tom is everything okay?"
"Yes Sir," Tom said. "The agents and I wanted to talk to you about something," he said letting his voice trail off, unsure how to start.
"Sure. Come on in everyone and have a seat. Something tells me that this has to do with Olivia and I. Am I right?" Fitz said. He knew these agents had witnessed their kiss before she left. Their flirting, touching, and how much they cared for one another not just this weekend, but in general. He expected this conversation to happen sooner or later.
"Yes Sir," Tom said, first, now sitting down with everyone. "Can we speak off the record?"
"Sure," Fitz said, looking at Tom and the other agents in the room. They looked nervous and unsure how to approach this subject.
"It's just" Tom tried to say. "We just want you to know that…" Tom started again.
Fitz then said, "Look, I know you all have seen us together. You've seen her interactions with the kids, her visits in the residence. I know you all saw what happened before she left. Especially my reaction to her kiss," Fitz said with a smile. "And I don't care what you think, or if you all think it is wrong because she works for me, with me, but" Fitz started to say but Tom stopped him.
"No Mr. President," Tom stated. "We KNOW she makes you happy. We have been with you since you won the nomination. Myself and the other agents on your detail just wanted to let you know that we have your back and most importantly Miss Pope's back. We are all on BOTH your sides."
Fitz raised his eyebrows not prepared for this response. "You are?"
"Yes Sir," Mike said. Mike was the second agent in command behind, if Tom was not on duty. "Miss Pope is a wonderful woman. We all make sure that she is kept safe and protected."
Fitz sat back and rubbed his forehead. He knew his agents would always be there to protect him, and keep him safe. But to know that without reservation, they would protect Olivia. That even though she was not his wife, they would see to her safety, touched him profoundly. "I don't know what to say gentlemen."
Tom then continued. "She makes you happy Mr. President. And you said so yourself, she's everything to you, Karen and Jerry."
Fitz looked at Tom, a little surprised but okay with his admission. "Tom you are right, but she's more than that. Olivia is the love of my life. I know we are all sitting here being frank with each other, and I need you to all understand that first off. If anything ever happened to her because of me, I'd never…" Fitz voiced began to break.
Jamal, another agent spoke up. "We understand Sir. Most of us here are married and have families. Miss Pope is part of your family. We wanted you to know that even though technically she is not your immediate family, we will still see that she is protected."
Fitz studied the agents who all nodded in agreement. "Thank you gentlemen I really appreciate it. I know I am your Commander and Chief but do we need to clear this with the head of the Secret Service?"
"Yes Sir," Tom told him. "If that is okay with you, I will talk to my boss, and let them know the how important this situation to you. If you want I can schedule a meeting for you upon your return."
"Thank you," Fitz told him. "It means a great deal to me, that you are all doing this for me, for us. But how about the cameras in the White House," Fitz asked. "I know they are everywhere, and I don't want anyone seeing anything inappropriate." Fitz was now blushing.
"Sir, we will all take care of that," Tom stated.
"Tom that is not my only concern," Fitz voiced letting his voice trail off. He was worried about the rest of the West Wing staff finding out. Learning to soon how much he cared for Olivia and her him. Would they say hurtful things to her? Would it cause her to resign? What would the press say and do when they discovered what was going on between them?
He did not want her hounded and belittled because of their strong feelings for the other. Fitz knew that she feared being "that girl" who was known in the work place that was sleeping with or involved with their boss. He was the President and yes it could cause his numbers to take a hit, but for her it could be worse. If things went badly, she could lose her career, all because he loved her.
Tom, Mike and the other agents looked at each other. "Sir, when Miss Pope gets back we'll do a sit down with both of you in the residence, if that will help. She needs to know to that we are here to help you both figure this out. I am sure she wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. But we do have one major concern?"
"Oh," Fitz asked. He was racking his brain trying to think of what it could be. Keeping Olivia safe and protected was paramount. Having the agents by their side, especially now when they were beginning to figure things out was a huge advantage. But what else could they be worried about.
"Sir," Mike spoke up. "It's Mr…." he stopped talking, watching Fitz's realization hit his eyes.
"Cyrus," Fitz groaned, now running his fingers through his hair. "Oh yes my pit bull Chief of Staff, who would do anything to make sure my Presidency is scandal free. To see that I am elected another four years. Cyrus Rutherford Beene is all for the Republic. He would slay dragons for me that I know for sure."
"Yes Sir." Tom said. "We know him, and his ways. There is nothing he wouldn't do to keep you in office, and himself the person that stands by your side. From what I heard from the agents on his detail, he is suspicious of your actions towards Miss Pope already. And the former Mrs. Grant calling him the other day didn't help matters."
"I see. Well gentlemen what do you suggest 'we' do." Fitz asked wanting their opinion. He came to realize that if they are going to make this work, they will need the help of the Secret Service, and his closest staff in the West Wing. Without them, they would probably never be able to make it.
Tom, Mike and the other agents in the room looked at each other. Tom made a quick phone call to Mitch to not only check on Olivia, but to see if he had any input, since he is on Fitz's detail also. After a quick conversation with Mitch, Tom informed Fitz that they would do everything that needed to be done to not only see to Olivia's safety, but to her well being. If they detected any hint of her not being well, having a hard time with things, or Cyrus or anyone else belittling her, the agents would tell Fitz immediately.
"Guys, you know she is going to fight us all, when it comes to her being under your protection." Fitz stated. "I can hear her screaming at me now," he said with a smile on his face.
"It's okay Sir. As long as she doesn't threaten us with any pillows, and stays off of stools I think we can handle her." Tom spoke, laughing slightly.
"Easy for you to say everyone," Fitz said partly sighing and mumbling. "I am the one that caught her and got hit. Not that I minded entirely. Thank you."
"It's our pleasure Sir," Mike told Fitz.
"You guys don't have to do this you know. I know she is not my wife, fiancée, or in my immediate family. Why are you willing to risk getting into trouble with your boss for Olivia and I? I really don't know what to say." Fitz said, not believing they just had this conversation.
"Because of one thing Mr. President," another agent said this time.
"That is," Fitz asked.
"Because you love her, and we are pretty sure she'll eventually become the First Lady," Tom said flat out. Fitz didn't respond because he couldn't. The agents saw him smile, and knew that was Fitz's endgame.
"Thank you gentleman," Fitz responded finally. "Tom if you hear from Mitch again let him know to have Olivia call me when she's able. I'll be waiting." Tom nodded his head and him and the agents left Fitz alone. By the time this conversation was over, it was past lunch. Fitz saw that Elizabeth saved him something.
Fitz ate, and spent the rest of the afternoon making run-throughs of the State of the Union, talking to Cyrus about what was going on, worrying about Olivia, and hating the fact that he would have to see his family tomorrow. He also wondered if Olivia was going to make it to the address. He hoped that she would be he was not sure. The only thing that he could do now, was wait for her phone call, and prayed that she and her grandfather were both okay.
/
"Grandpa's Special Girl…"
Olivia had been at the hospital for some time now. She landed late in the morning, and had spoken to her Mom, Dad, older brother and sister about everything the doctors had told them. Since her grandfather was stubborn, he had waited for her before going into to surgery.
She saw him lying fragile and medicated in his hospital bed. Her mother encouraged her to go and see him before the doctor's wheeled him out of his room. She saw Mitch standing by keeping a close eye on her for Fitz. Olivia was happy that he was there, but wished Fitz was more and more. Her parents luckily paid Mitch not too much attention, and figured he was a friend of hers from D.C.
Olivia walked up to his bed, and squeezed his hand. "Papa," she squeaked. "It's your Libby. I'm here. Fi…I mean the President found a way to get me up here before you went into surgery."
Her grandfather opened his eyes. He was a strong man, and to see him this way broke her. "Libby," he murmured. "You're here."
"Yes Papa. I'm here." She was beginning to cry. He reached up and Olivia leaned down and let her grandfather, who helped raise her, touch her face.
"You can't leave me yet Papa. I'm not ready for you to go." Olivia said through her tears. Mitch walked close to the window and could see her. He knew she was struggling and knew of only one person who could help. Even though Fitz could probably not be with her, hearing his voice would be all she needed.
"Not yet sweet baby," her grandfather said to her. "You go wait with your Mother. I'll be seeing you real soon."
Olivia leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you Papa. Don't go towards any white lights okay. Tell Nana she can't have you with her yet. I still need you here by my side. Plus you always told me one day you wanted to meet the President. I work for him now, I'm his Press Secretary. You have to make it so you can meet Fi-President Grant. He's a good man. I'm lucky to have him," she told him before it was time.
Her grandfather may be under the influence of many medications but what he heard in his grandchild's voice warmed his heart. "He's the lucky one. I have to go now. I love you Libby."
"I love you Papa." She said back and she watched the doctors wheel him out the door. Olivia sat down in the chair by his window in his room and thought of Fitz, the kids, and how her life has changed. She hoped to introduce her grandfather to Fitz, and could only pray to the man upstairs, her prayer would be answered.
Olivia had moved to the waiting room when she heard a familiar voice. She looked up and saw her best friend Jenny coming in her direction. She was so happy, that she flung herself in her arms. "Jenny what are you doing here?" Olivia finally asked.
"I knew you needed me. I heard from your mom that this happened. I hopped on the first flight back. But how did you get back? I thought you were away this weekend. You know 'getting to know each other," Jenny said letting her voice trail off. She was not sure if anyone knew where she really was, and who she was with.
Olivia whispered to her, "My mom called me this morning and told me about Papa. I was around him when I found out. He got a helicopter to land and take me here. It landed right on the roof Jen. I was speechless."
"Seriously," Jenny asked in shock. "Oh my."
"Yes," Olivia told her. "After I took off, I had the pilot land and I ran back and hugged him."
"You hugged him huh," Jenny said, nudging her friends shoulder. "That's not all you did Lib's," Jenny whispered causing Olivia to hit her. She glared at her but didn't say anything else. Now was not the time.
Jenny watched her face and knew something more happened between her and Fitz. She had encouraged Olivia to go be with Fitz and the kids this weekend. From Olivia's flushed cheeks something BIG must have happened. She was about to ask her more, but Olivia gave her a look that told her now was not the time.
Six Hours later, the cardiologist came out of the OR. The doctor told Olivia's family, Mitch and Jenny, that the surgery went well but because of her grandfather's age, the next twenty-four hours were crucial. He was going to be in ICU till the morning under heavy medication. The doctor would examine him again. If he made it through the next day without too many complications, they expected him to recover. But he cautioned, because of his age, anything could go wrong.
Jenny squeezed Olivia's hand, and watched her mom come and sit next to her. Her Dad was with her brother and sister until their spouses arrived. Since both her brother and sister each had children, they had to make sure a sitter was secured, because the kids were not allowed in the ICU. When the doctor was finishing up the post-op update, her brother and sister in-law, both arrived.
Through the entire conversation with the doctor, and spending time with her family, no one had asked her anything yet about working for Fitz. Her family knew she had gotten the job as Press Secretary, and she talked to them often. But it was nothing like the "Pope Inquisition" she was expecting. She was surprised but relieved. Olivia told herself, the moment her grandfather was out of the woods, the twenty questions would start.
Olivia also noticed a few time Mitch was on his phone talking or texting someone. She saw him watching her many times and knew Fitz was checking on her. She knew he was worried, but right now she had to focus on her family and grandfather. Olivia had asked Mitch to let Fitz know that she would call later, but she did not when that would be.
The cardiologist said that once her grandfather was settled, they would be able to see him one or two people at a time. Only immediate family would be allowed into the room, and if anyone wanted to stay longer, they would need the doctor's approval.
/
"Pumpkins…"
While her Mom and Sister went into to him, Olivia excused herself, and called Fitz. It was past dinner now, and she figured he'd be going crazy not hearing from her directly. He picked up the phone on the first ring.
"Liv," he breathed.
"Hi," she told him immediately. She was sitting in a stairwell so they could talk. Mitch was by the door so no one would disturb her.
"Hi. You all right," Fitz asked.
"I'm fine." Olivia told him.
"Olivia you are not fine. I can tell by your voice," Fitz told her.
"I'm sorry it's just I'm worried about my grandfather. I know he's old." Olivia told Fitz everything what the doctors said, and his prognosis. "I am not ready for him to leave me yet, you know. Everyone I love ends up leaving me. He can't go. Not yet. I don't know what I would do without him."
Fitz's heart broke on the other end. "I won't," he said as he voiced cracked and ached for her. He was not sure how could someone ever leave her but he wouldn't.
"You wouldn't what," she fought through her tears.
"I won't EVER leave you. Not now, not ever. I wouldn't know what to do without you. You are in my blood Livy," he told her with a barely audible voice. "I am never letting you go." He heard her whimper on the other end. He knew he probably shouldn't have said it, but he wanted her to know that he wanted her, no matter the price he'd have to pay.
"I don't know what to say…" she said barely audible.
"You don't have to say anything Livy. I just needed you to know. I want all of you because you have ALL of me. Remember that for me okay." Fitz told her, hoping that whatever she was feeling right now would help.
"Okay." She then said, "I don't know..." she trailed off, attempting to hide her fear of losing him from Fitz.
"You called me because you didn't know what to do. The great formidable Olivia Pope, the thrower of pillows, the breaker of Presidential balls, and stools, doesn't know what to do." Fitz said, trying to make her laugh. He succeeded, hearing her reaction.
"There you are," he whimpered out. He could feel his eyes filling with tears at how much he wished he was there with her. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms, and take away all her doubt, pain and worry; his detail be-damned. The woman he loved needed him, and he wanted to be there with her.
"Hey I told you I was sorry," she whined. "That was an accident," Olivia said with a partial whine but a giggle.
"I know. But it made you laugh. So you're calling me because you don't know what to do next." Fitz asked her. She didn't respond. "Olivia," Fitz said getting her attention.
"No. I'm calling you because I wanted to hear your voice," she got out. Fitz raised his eyes, not sure at first that she said that. "I wanted to talk about Camp David, the kids, and,…" she tried to say but stopped herself. She heard Fitz let out a breath on the other end of the line, and knew he was smiling.
"And," Fitz wondered.
"And pumpkins," she voiced with a hint of happiness.
"Pumpkins?" Now Fitz was giggling and so was she.
"Yes Pumpkins kind Sir. I make more than just Pumpkin cupcakes and muffins you know. You just wait till I get back. I'll prove it to you. Plus pumpkin ice cream is the bomb," giving him a hard time.
"Pumpkin ice cream huh," he said to her. "I can't wait. Gives me something to look forward to besides…" he stopped himself.
"Yes," she prompted him.
"Besides getting to kiss you again, and hold you," Fitz blurted out. He heard her make a sound, and knew he just melted her heart. "Liv?"
"Yes," she squeaked.
"Do you regret it…the kiss I mean, and saying my name. I know that was a big deal for you, and I wanted you to know that I won't pressure you into anything if you don't want me too. I just needed you to know that. I'll wait for you." Fitz told her. He had to make sure she knew this.
He heard her make the 'aw' sound on the other end of the line, warming his heart. "No I don't regret it. It was…"
"Perfect," Fitz said with a sigh. "I miss you."
"I know." she said. "I need to go. My parents are probably looking for me."
"Okay," Fitz said. "I'll be here waiting for you Livy." He heard her let out a small whimper. Olivia nodded her head.
"I'll call you when I can," she breathed out.
"Liv, do you need or want me to come up there?" Fitz asked. Despite how much she wanted him there, it would be a huge risk to his safety. The Secret Service would probably have a stroke working out the details. She didn't answer him. "Do. You. Want. Me. There? I'll drop everything, all you have to do is tell me."
She bit her lip. She needed him but couldn't allow it. Her family would flip and the Secret Service and Press would have a field day. Plus he had to get back to the White House tomorrow. "No. You need to stay put. I'll be okay. Jenny is here and my whole family. It's fine. I can handle it."
"You sure," Fitz asked, hoping she would be honest with him and tell him the truth.
"Yah," she answered trying to hide her uncertainty.
"Liar," Fitz teased.
"No comment Mr. President. I refer to the above Press Statement," she said back with a smile.
Fitz chuckled. "Always the Press Secretary, but I know you're in there somewhere. Come on say something so I know it's you."
"Hi," she giggled. "Is that better?"
"There's my girl," Fitz said softly feeling himself smile, and her squeak something cute on the other end of the line.
"I need to go," she said.
"Wait, I need you to do something for me before I hang up," Fitz told her. He heard her ask him 'what' and he said, "Just breathe for me. I'm not there if you if you have a panic attack, so I need you to breathe. Let me hear you."
Olivia let out a few big breaths, making her feel better. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Fitz knew she was trying to ease his mind. He relented and gave in. "Okay. Hang up the phone. I have a speech to practice. Bye Livy."
"Bye," she almost said Fitz but stopped herself. She hung up the phone and went to see her grandfather in ICU.
After Fitz hung up the phone, he went and spoke to Tom and the agents. Tom asked how Olivia and her grandfather were doing, and Fitz gave him the update. Tom could see the worry in his boss's face, and asked if there was anything he could do. Fitz told him no, and that Olivia would call him later.
"I'll make sure I keep in contact with Mitch Sir. He's keeping a close eye on her, and Jenny is with her too now. I guess she arrived right after her grandfather's surgery."
"That's good Tom. She didn't mention it to me, but I am happy she's there." Fitz said. Tom watched Fitz and saw him walk to the window.
"Sir, do you want to go up there? I can arrange something." Tom asked. "We'll make sure we have you back here for the morning ride back on Marine One to the White House."
Fitz looked at Tom quite surprised, but remembered what Olivia told him. "No she wants me to stay here but thank you for asking. I appreciate it. I am going to tell the kids, Lionel and Elizabeth what's going on." Fitz touched his shoulder and walked out of the room.
Tom walked out with him, and told the other agents on his detail what was happening. He stood off in the room, and watched his boss tell his family what was going on.
"Daddy is her grandpa okay?" Karen asked.
"Don't know sweetheart," Fitz told his little girl, pulling her into his lap. Jerry then sat next to him.
"Dad, why are you here and not with her. She needs you. You're speech is ready. You're ready. You should go." Jerry told his father.
"Are you sure you're only nine Jerry?" Fitz said, wrapping his arm around his son. "How'd you get to be so smart?"
"It's in the genes. And I don't mean Levi's Dad," Jerry teased, leaning his head on his father. Fitz heard Tom chuckle in the room. Lionel and Elizabeth looked at him.
"She wants me to stay put," Fitz groaned, not happy about it. "It would be a huge undertaking to get me up there. I want to go, but I want to make it to my first State of the Union Tuesday in one piece."
Elizabeth sat in front of him. "Fitzgerald where do you think you belong?"
"Miss Lizzie," Fitz said to her, touching her hand. "She has her family there, and her best friend is there now. She's fine. I have to trust that." Fitz was saying these words but didn't believe them.
Lionel sat down next to Fitz, because Karen was still in his lap. He put his arm around Fitz. "Son, she needs YOU. Yes her family is there. They are her family, so of course they are there. But it's not the same as having the man she loves there. You love her Fitz. I know you are the President, but you are also a man, that KNOWS where you belong."
"Lionel, if I risk my security, she's going to throw more than a pillow at me." Fitz smiled. "If Cyrus were to find out, he may have a heart attack."
Lionel just looked at him. "Fitzgerald, who gives two shits what Cyrus Beene says. You are the President of the Fucking United States," shocking the hell out of Elizabeth and Fitz because he never swears. "You have all these powers. Put them to use Son. She needs you."
Fitz looked at him, Elizabeth and the kids. Karen hugged her father, and Jerry did the same. Both his kids whispered something in his ear. Fitz hugged his children back and looked up at Tom, who he saw talking to the agents outside.
"We'll see guys okay. I need to think," Fitz said, getting up from the couch. He was so torn at what to do. She needed him, but didn't want him there. He knew the risks, but Olivia was worth the risk and more. He got up and went and sat by the window. He looked out into the landscape of Camp David, and stared at the new fallen snow.
A few moments later, he looked back and saw the kids, Lionel and Elizabeth wanting him to come and watch a movie. He sat down, wrapped his arms around his children, and did his best to relax. His mind kept drifting to Olivia, hoping that if she needed him, she would call.
/
"Just Breathe…"
Olivia was in the ICU waiting area with Jenny and Mitch, waiting to go in and see her grandfather. Her mother and father had just come out of the room and her mom looked terrible. Her cheeks looked stained from her tears, and her Dad didn't look to much better.
She saw her older brother and sister. They had looked over to her and had already gone in to see him. They sat next to Olivia and took her hands. "Just Breathe Libs. He's going to be okay," her brother said.
"How do you know that?" She asked him. "You're not God , Kevin."
"No I'm not. But that man is stubborn like you, and isn't done yet. We all know he's sticking around to see you happy again. Papa loves you. You are his favorite." Kevin told her.
"Oh quit," she told him. "You're just saying that."
Her sister Jeanette then said, "Livy, you are everything to him. We know he loves Kevin and I, but we are not you. He fought Momma and Dad to go into surgery till you got here. Why do you think he was being stabilized? He was waiting for you. You are everything to Papa. You know that." Her sister squeezed her, and she rested her head on her shoulder.
"Thanks Jeannie. But it doesn't help." Olivia said.
"So," her sister asked, "tell me Little Sis, how do you like working for President McDreamy? That man is so sexy girl."
"Jeanette we are NOT having this conversation, with our Papa right over there in ICU," Olivia scolded her older sister. "He's my boss in case you forgot, and the Leader of the Free World."
"Yes HE is your boss, but HE IS divorced. Come on Sis don't tell me after working so closely with him over the last month and a half, you haven't thought about him romantically. I am surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend." Olivia swallowed hard, hoping her sister wouldn't notice. She wasn't Fitz girlfriend, they weren't dating, but what were they?
Her brother saw her become nervous as did Jenny. "Jeannie leave Lib's alone. We can bug her later about President McDreamy." Kevin said, messing with Olivia. He tossed his jacket at her, causing Olivia to laugh at him.
"Can you stop calling him President McDreamy," Olivia said flustered. "Just remember I can spill all your secrets to the Leader of the Free World. You to Jeannie Weenie," Olivia said sarcastically, nudging her sister.
"You best not tell your boss that name for me Lib's. I can tell him all sorts of secrets about you too." Jeannette told her.
Olivia finally laughed and looked at Jenny. Jenny smiled back at her. Her phone rang, and she told Olivia she had to take the call. "Everything okay," Olivia asked.
"Yes honey. I guess I forget something at the hotel. I'll be right back they need my address so they can mail what I left behind." Jenny told her. Olivia said okay and that she would wait for her to see her grandfather. She was not ready to see him yet. She knew it would break her, and needed her best friend by her side.
A few minutes later, Jenny came back and told her everything was all set. The hotel was going to mail her cell phone charger she accidently left behind. "Jenny you always do that."
"I know don't remind me. Why do you think I buy so many?" Jenny told her. "Come on you ready to go inside and see him?"
Olivia looked at her, and down the hall to his room. "Jenny I can't. I'm not ready. Can we go home and I get cleaned up first. I got right off the chopper and ran in here. Mitch can bring us to my parent's house."
Jenny asked her to stay with her, and she happily agreed. She couldn't have Fitz so Jenny was the next best thing. She told her mom she'd be back in a couple of hours after she cleaned up, and ate something. Mitch followed them, and drove them to Jenny's house.
Periodically she saw Mitch talking on his phone. "Everything okay Mitch?" Olivia asked.
"Yes Ma'am. The President is just checking in to see how you are that's all. If you are okay here with Miss Nursestorm, I'll be back. I am going to find something to eat."
"Mitch we can feed you. Jenny is a really good cook." Olivia told him.
"I'm sure Ma'am but it's fine. Call me when you are ready to head back. I'll let the President know where you are. He also told me to remind you to…" Mitch started to say but Olivia stopped him.
"I know. He wants me to breathe right." Olivia voiced in a disgruntled tone.
"Yes Ma'am." Mitch said. He then left and was back to get them in a little over two hours. Olivia and Jenny had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when Mitch arrived at the door to get them.
"Mitch I am more than capable of driving myself back to the hospital you know. I did grow up around here." Olivia told him grabbing her coat and purse.
"Yes Ma'am that may be the case but the President wants me to stay by your side as much as possible. I am just doing my job." Mitch said, looking at Jenny now who was coming in from the back of her apartment.
"He worries too much," Olivia said. "Come let's go. By the time we get back there it's going to be almost 11:00. I want to see my parents before they go." Mitch walked to the car with Olivia, as Jenny locked her apartment. Jenny drove back, with Olivia in the front seat and Mitch in the back.
They entered the hospital just as her parents were coming into the reception area. Olivia hugged both her parents, and they told her that they would be back in the morning. They had put her grandfather in a room with a double bed, so Olivia could stay the night if she wanted to.
"Momma, how did you know that I was going to spend the night?" Olivia asked her Mom.
"Because I know you child," her mother said caressing her daughter's cheek. "But not only that you are your Papa's girl, and I know you won't leave once you get into his room. He has not woken up yet but the doctors took the tube out of his throat. He's breathing on his own Livy and we can only pray now that he'll wake up soon."
"Thank you Momma. I'll call you if anything happens." Olivia told her mother.
"Tell my Daddy that I love him Livy," her mother said. "And I love you dear. Thank you for coming home. Tell the President I owe home some southern hospitality if I ever meet him."
"Yes Ma'am," Olivia hugged her mom again. She turned to her Dad, and told him that she would see him in the morning.
Olivia entered the elevator with Mitch and Jenny. The exited on the floor her grandfather was on. She looked around and saw that the staff had changed for the night. She approached her grandfather's room, she stopped.
"Jenny I don't know if I can go in there," she whimpered. Mitch opened the door and she was standing in the doorway afraid to go inside.
"Yes you can. You're a gladiator in a suit remember. You are your Papa's gladiator most importantly. You need to go in there Liv." Jenny encouraged her.
"But what if he dies? I can't do this. I can't see him this way."
"Yes you can. Olivia he made it through the surgery. Now it's almost the home stretch." Olivia started to walk a little bit further, but she stopped again. Olivia looked and saw her grandfather on the bed, looking fragile. She saw all the tubes, wires, machines working, and it caused her to freak. She froze in place unable to move.
"Jenny," she cried. "I can't do this."
Jenny sensed her fear. "Tell me what you need." Jenny asked.
"Fitz," Olivia said. This was the first time she said his name, since leaving. "I need Fitz here."
Before Jenny could answer, "I'm right here Livy. I'm right here," Fitz said, walking out of the darkness in her grandfather's room. Olivia stood their stunned, not believing he was really there. Jenny smiled behind her, and so did Mitch.
"Fitz?" Olivia whimpered out, and he continued to walk more into the moonlight, so she could really see him now. His hands were in his pockets, looking at her with a silly grin. Jenny gave her a little nudge forward, and that was all it took. She ran into his arms, and Fitz wrapped himself around her. He picked her up off the ground, letting her head fall on his shoulders.
"I'm here Liv. I couldn't stay away. You're everything to me. I had to come." Fitz murmured, as he held her in his arms. He felt her breathing change. "Just breathe for me. It's going to be okay. I'm going to fix everything."
Fitz rubbed her back and squeezed her with everything he had. He looked at Jenny and Mitch and mouthed "Thank you." He mumbled into her ear that he was there and she was going to be fine.
Olivia pulled away and looked into Fitz's eyes. She placed her hands on his face, making sure it was really him. She smiled at him finally. "You really here," she cried out. "I mean…" she touched his face more. "It's really you."
"Yes," he touched his forehead to her, enjoying their skin touching. "You needed me. I couldn't let you go through this without me Livy. I was lost without you." He cradled her face in his hands. She got lost in his eyes, and felt tears come down her cheeks. He kissed them away.
She turned around with Fitz holding onto her.
Jenny was in the room and she saw Mitch and now Tom, out the door in scrubs guarding the room. "How?"
"The President called me Livy. He asked me if you needed him here. And I knew you did." Jenny told her. "You're my best friend, and I knew I wasn't enough. He is all you need to breathe and get by."
Olivia let go of Fitz's hand, and gave her best friend a hug. "So he's your missing cell phone charger," causing Fitz behind her to stifle back a laugh.
"Yup, 'fraid so," Jenny teased. Jenny came into the room, and Fitz gave her a quick hug, making Jenny's night. "I got a hug from President McDreamy."
"Oh no, not you too," Olivia grumbled ready to hide.
"President McDreamy," Fitz said, unsure on what else he could say. He would ask Olivia about it later, but right now his focus was on her and her grandfather.
Fitz thanked her and Jenny left, leaving with Mitch who needed to get some rest. Tom and some other agents on Fitz's detail were out in the hallway. They were dressed in hospital scrubs so no one would notice anything. Tom closed the door and left Olivia with Fitz and her grandfather inside the room.
She felt him watching, and then his arms wrap around her laying his head on her shoulder. "Please don't be mad Liv. I had to come." She looked at him and nuzzled into his arms. She then looked over at her grandfather, and felt herself let go.
"I can't lose him. Everyone I love leaves me," she cried, feeling her legs give out. Fitz caught her, and carried her to a rocking chair that was behind her grandfather's hospital bed. He sat down cradling her in his arms, letting her cry into his chest. He looked over at her grandfather, who was still sleeping.
Fitz began to rock Olivia back and forth. "I'm not leaving you Livy. I couldn't even if I wanted to."
Olivia looked up and saw Fitz look down. She sat up and stared into his eyes getting lost in them. She could look in them forever and never get tired. He saw her give him a faint smile, and he did one back. He reached and touched her face, caressing it lightly with his hand, whipping her tears away. She pressed her cheek into his open palm, loving his comforting touch.
Finally she let out a breath. "Just breathe right," she told him.
"Yes Livy just breathe," he told her, kissing her forehead. As he pulled away, he watched her eyes give him a questioning look.
"Liv?"
"Thank you Fitz," she whimpered. She saw him let out a breath. Olivia had known how much saying his name finally meant to him. She was not afraid to say it anymore, and she needed him to know that.
"You called me…" he stopped, when she lifted her finger, and placed it on his lips.
"Fitz." She felt him exhale.
"Livy," he said back. He wanted to kiss her desperately, but wasn't sure if he should. He saw her yawn and tapped his chest for her to place her head down on his chest. He watched her eyes squint at him, "What?"
"Are you going to rock me to sleep Mr. President?"
"Yes." Fitz said. He left no room for her to argue, and watched her lay her head down on his chest. She looked up and saw him looking down at her. He leaned down, and she let him kiss her lips lightly. He pulled her close as their lips touched for the second time and an adorable smile, as he moved away. She nuzzled herself into his chest.
He found a blanket and covered them both up. He saw her looking at her grandfather, who was still resting peacefully next to them. "Do you think my Papa is going to make it?"
"I do Livy. He has too. I am sure he knows how much you need him." Fitz told her rubbing her back. Olivia reached and placed her hand on her grandfather's. It was warm, and she squeezed it. "I can't wait for you to meet him."
"I know me too. I don't want it to be too soon. I need him to recover from heart surgery first." She heard Fitz chuckle and felt him kiss the top of her head. "I'm here Papa. You have to make it. You have to meet Pres…Fitz," this time she said, causing Fitz to breathe out, and place his hand on top of hers. He heard her yawn as he rocked her back and forth.
"I love hearing you say my name," he told her. "Don't ever stop calling me that okay. You have a way with words."
"Very funny, but I am your Communications Director." Then in a sleepy voice, "You came for me." Fitz's rocking was beginning to lull her to sleep.
"I will always come for you."
"Why," she asked before finally drifting off in his embrace. She felt so safe and at peace. Fitz knew she was out, and felt her let go of her grandfather's hand. He moved it, but kept it next to her grandfather's on the hospital bed.
"Because I'm in love with you Livy," Fitz said finally. "I love you."
Fitz closed his eyes, and felt his tears. He inhaled her shampoo, and perfume. It filled his lung with life, and he reminded himself 'just to breathe.' He started to move his hand along with hers off the bed, when her grandfather's hand went on top of theirs, halting Fitz. Fitz looked up and saw the man looking at him.
"Well Mr. President, you really are the Man of the People," her grandfather voiced loud enough for Fitz to hear. Fitz mouthed dropped. "And you are in LOVE my Grand-daughter?"
/
Whoa #GrandPappa! So how much did her grandfather hear of Fitz and Olivia's conversation? Did he 'see' them when they were together? What will he say to Fitz? We all know the "Formidable" Olivia Pope, but now you'll see where she gets it from. Watch out Fitzy! That's all I'm saying.
I also was not going to have Fitz showing up at the hospital but after the heartbreak of this past week's episode, I changed my mind. It helped heal my heart, and I hope it did the same for you. And you got the THREE WORDS you were waiting for Fitz to say to Olivia… "I Love You." ;-)
You got to see Olivia's family, Jenny made a comeback, and you got to see Olivia's relationship with her grandfather. This section has A LOT to do with me because I was raised by my grandfather. I was extremely close to him, and to this day I still don't think of him.
The State of the Union will FINALLY be in the next chapter, Fitz's parents, and so much more. Leave me Pumpkin Seeds, thoughts on where you think they are at in their "relationship" or anything else you have to say. I hope I did this chapter justice. I wanted to do more, but alas other stories need my fingers.
Be well and leave me "pumpkin seeds" cuz they make me smile.
Peace, Luv and Pumpkins….Me's
