Disclaimer: I do not own Drake and Josh. All rights go to the creators of the show.

A/N: So, as a thank you for all the amazing reviews I've received I'm trying to update more quickly. To all my readers and everyone who has reviewed this story thank you so much! You guys are awesome!

The next morning Drake slowly opened his eyes, and just for a second, hoped in vain that the weekend had been nothing more than a bad dream. He imagined that the hospital, the outpatient program, and his parents finding out about Rick Parker coming back into his life were simply figments of his crazy imagination that his subconscious had created. Drake groaned as he sat up in bed and his newly broken ribs screamed in protest at the movement. He looked over at Josh's bed only to find it empty, then glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was already 7:00 in the morning. School started in 30 minutes, and Josh being Josh always liked to get to school early.

Disheveled and exhausted, Drake hopped down the ladder from his bed and quickly threw a short-sleeved shirt and jeans on. He was fixing his hair in the mirror when he remembered the white bandages around his arms. Holding his breath, he dug his nail under the tape securing the bandage and yanked at it until it came loose then tore the bandage off and let it fall to the ground first on his left arm, then his right. He ran his thumb over the scars feeling the roughness of the stitches on his skin. He was glad to see that only a few of the deeper cuts had been stitched closed; it would be easier to hide that way. He tore his gaze away from his arms, shaking himself. Josh walked back in the room to get his backpack and stopped short, startled to see Drake awake and dressed for school.

"You're going to school?" Josh asked slowly, watching Drake closely.

Drake shrugged. "What else am I supposed to do? Sit around here all day?" He said nonchalantly.

"But…I thought Dr. Richardson said…" Josh started before Drake cut him off.

"He never said I couldn't go to school, he just said to take it easy." Drake said firmly. Josh stared at him for another minute unsure of whether to try to talk Drake into staying home or not. Drake rolled his eyes then pulled on a sweatshirt, covering his arms and grabbed his backpack.

Josh sighed and grabbed his own backpack and followed Drake downstairs.

"You're awake!" Audrey exclaimed obviously surprised to see Drake out of bed so early.

"School normally happens around this time." Drake muttered back sarcastically. Megan looked up from the couch where she was finishing some last minute homework.

"You know you don't have to go to school." Audrey said as she began packing her things for work.

"I want to go." Drake retorted, trying to stay calm even though he was becoming more annoyed by the second. Audrey stopped what she was doing and stared at her son.

"Don't force yourself Drake. You can stay home and relax." Audrey said hopefully, but Drake shook his head determined. Audrey smiled in spite of herself; Drake had always been stubborn.

"Since when do you want to go to school?" Megan mumbled into her book.

Drake glared at her, knowing she was right. But what Megan did not know was that while Drake may hate school, oddly enough it was one of the few places he felt safe. When he was at school, he was surrounded by people constantly and felt a sense of security as a result. The last thing he wanted to do was sit at home alone where Rick knew exactly where he lived and could waltz right into the house. Frustrated and annoyed, Drake swore under his breath and walked to the door in three quick strides.

"I'll wait in the car." Drake muttered to Josh then slammed the door behind him. Audrey sighed, staring at the door.

"I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes these days." She said quietly. Josh looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm sure that's not true." Josh said trying to comfort her. Audrey smiled weakly at him, then cupped his cheek in her hand for a second.

"Well, I guess you should get going." Audrey said a minute later and ran her fingers through her hair distractedly. Josh nodded and made his way to the front door.

"Oh, and Josh…watch out for him today." Audrey said.

"I will." Josh promised then shut the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mom thinks you hate her." Josh said, looking over at Drake in the passenger seat.

Drake sighed. "I don't hate her." He said quietly, staring out the window.

"Then why is it ever time she's tried to talk to you since you got home from the hospital you are practically yelling at her?" Josh asked slowly. Drake swore and stomped the floor of the car.

"She needs to stop treating me like a kid and trust me. I can take care of myself." Drake said defensively crossing his arms over his chest. It was Josh's turn to sigh.

"Drake, you can't earn trust back over night. You have been hurting yourself for months. How the hell you managed to hide it from me and everyone all this time I'll never know, but now that mom knows, you can't blame her for being afraid that you might hurt yourself again…Hell, I am too." Josh answered, not daring to look up at Drake's reaction.

Drake's mouth went dry.

"Not you too." Drake groaned in disbelief. Josh was silent for a minute before answering.

"I don't know." He finally said just above his breath.

"You don't know if you trust me?" Drake asked; his voice held an edge of bitterness.

"Drake, I caught you hurting yourself in the hospital. I do trust you, but I don't know if I can trust that you won't hurt yourself again." Josh answered, choosing his words very carefully.

Drake swallowed a lump in his throat and turned back to the window, hoping that Josh didn't see the hurt in his eyes. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Josh's words stung. But if he was truly honest with himself, could he even trust himself?

He shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts as Josh pulled into the high school and parked.

"Meet you here after school?" Josh asked.

"Sure." Drake nodded, sliding his backpack on one shoulder and followed Josh into the building.

Drake was surprised at how easy it was to fake that everything was all right during the day. He dozed off in class and joked with his friends. He slapped hands with one of his band members and they made plans to rehearse the following day after school. It wasn't until he got to Mrs. Hayfer's English class right before lunch that anyone noticed anything remotely different about Drake.

Linda Hayfer studied Drake closely. She didn't particularly like the boy, but he wasn't a bad kid. Lately though, the kid had been much more reclusive in class. Granted, he never participated during class. Unless he was sleeping, he was usually making snide comments and joking around in the back of the classroom with some of his friends. But lately, and especially today, Drake didn't say a word. He sat staring out the window silent, his arms crossed over his chest. He was fidgety and squirmed in his seat. For some kids, this was normal behavior, but after watching Drake for two years in class, she knew this was abnormal for him. She didn't know why, but something about his behavior bothered her.

The bell rang and she dismissed the class for lunch.

"Drake, could I have a word?" She said stopping him at her desk. Drake inwardly groaned, wondering what he had done wrong now to piss the wonderful Mrs. Hayfer off.

"Yes?" He asked, trying to keep his voice neutral and not show his annoyance.

"Drake…I couldn't help but notice that you've seemed a little more distracted in class lately." She began.

"Yeah and?" He said, sounding bored.

"Well, it is my responsibility to help my students succeed. What I'm saying Drake is that, if something is bothering you, you can always ask for help." Mrs. Hayfer finished shuffling some papers on her desk as she spoke.

Drake's mouth dropped; he couldn't help it. He must look extremely pathetic if he was now getting sympathy from his least favorite teacher in all of Bell View High. He quickly hid his shock, and plastered his usual smart-ass smirk on his face.

"Yeah, I know, I get it Mrs. Hayfer, you hate me." Drake said, his voice cool and even, and shoved his hands in his pockets. Mrs. Hayfer looked up at him half-smiling.

"Well, be that as it may Mr. Parker you are still my student. Just know that if something is bothering you, my door is open. And get some sleep, I don't want you dozing off in my class anymore." She replied.

"Right. Can I go now?" Drake asked taking a step toward the door.

She hesitated for a second, watching Drake closely.

"You're sure everything is okay Drake? She said slowly.

Drake glared at her. "I'm fine." He answered, his voice colder than he meant it to be.

She studied him for another minute, and then nodded.

"Just remember what I said." She said as a last note. Drake nodded once more then rushed out of the classroom as fast as he could.

Out in the hall, he leaned against a group of lockers and took several deep breaths. A sudden, horrifying thought occurring to him. Did his teachers know that he had been in the hospital? Had his parents notified the school? None of his other teachers had said anything to him or even looked at him differently. So, why had Mrs. Hayfer?

Do I really look that messed up? Drake wondered bitterly. Sure he had been a little quieter in class, but shouldn't Mrs. Hayfer appreciate that and not call him out after class asking him if everything was all right?

Drake stomped off toward the cafeteria trying to keep himself calm to no avail. He grabbed a sandwich and a bag of chips then walked outside and sunk down at a table outside the cafeteria. A couple of people he knew called out to him and sat down around him at the table. He grimaced looking down at the food having no appetite at all. After a while of sitting at the table and trying to focus on the conversation around him, Drake thought he was going to explode. Not able to take it anymore, he made up some lame excuse and grabbed his backpack and got up, throwing his sandwich away and tossing his chips to the first person that asked.

He found himself pacing the halls, not going anywhere in particular. He didn't know why he felt so annoyed all of the sudden. It was like he suddenly had no control over his emotions. Last night, without thinking he had tore up his room, and now here he was pacing the halls of Bell View High resisting the urge to punch the nearest wall. What the hell was wrong with him?

Before he could fully think of the consequences, Drake rushed to the nearest bathroom and locked the stall door behind him. He dug around in his backpack for a minute and was relieved to find the spare shaver he kept there for…emergencies. Thankfully, his parents hadn't gone through his backpack yet.

He rolled up his sweatshirt, exposing his already scarred arms and dragged the blade across his skin. He exhaled, closing his eyes with relief. For the first time that day he felt he could breathe properly. He brought the blade across his arm again and gasped as dark red blood sprung to the surface. Without meaning to, he had cut deeper than normal.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He cried grabbing a large wad of toilet paper and pressing hard against the deep cut. Keeping the toilet paper pressed against his arm with his elbow, he propped his backpack on his knee and frantically searched for a band-aid only to come up empty handed. He jumped again as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

"Damn it!" Drake muttered. He leaned against the back of the toilet, mentally kicking himself. How the hell was he going to hide this? If he were at home, he would slap a band-aid over the cut and throw a clean sweatshirt on. But here, he didn't have that option. If he didn't somehow cover the wound though, he was sure the cut was deep enough to leave a little blood on his sweatshirt and he did NOT want to explain that to people. He couldn't go to the nurse's office either because he knew that she would want to see the cut for herself.

Gingerly, he lifted the toilet paper up and assessed the damage. Dried blood mixed with fresh blood, making it hard for him to determine the severity of the injury. He had to clean his arm a little to find out, but that involved water.

Slowly, Drake opened the stall door and peeked out; the bathroom was empty. Quickly, he rushed to the nearest sink, grabbed a fistful of paper towels and wetted them under the faucet. He squeezed the excess water out so the towel wasn't dripping and darted back into the stall where he gently brushed the wet towel against the cut, wiping away the dry blood.

The cut he had created was still oozing blood at a steady pace, but the blood wasn't as deep a red as it had been when he made the initial injury. Knowing that the bleeding wouldn't stop for at least another several minutes, Drake threw away the stained toilet paper he had been using and ripped a new strip of paper. Instead of applying pressure with it, he wrapped it somewhat haphazardly around his arm and attempted to tie the paper. It wasn't very thick and he doubted it would hold, but he hoped it would keep the blood from staining his sweatshirt until the bleeding stopped.

He stood up, grabbed his backpack and rushed off to class knowing that he was already late.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time the school day was over, Drake trudged down the hall toward the parking lot when his stomach suddenly turned to ice. Normally, at this time he would find Rick's truck idling along the street waiting for him. He shivered, suddenly afraid to go to the parking lot. Josh promised to meet him at the car after school, but Drake knew that by now CPS had probably contacted Rick, which meant Rick would be looking for him.

Drake stumbled, took a few steps backwards then turned on his heel and ran back down the hall, not daring to go outside. When he stopped running, he looked around at the classrooms to figure out where he was and laughed when he noticed Mrs. Hayfer sitting at her desk a couple classrooms up from where he stood. It was crazy, but he really didn't want to be alone and out in the open. He tapped his foot against the floor for another minute debating before sighing and walked to Mrs. Hayfer's classroom, knocking lightly on the door.

She looked up from the papers she was grading and stared at Drake.

"Well, Mr. Parker this is a surprise. What can I do for you?" She asked indicating for him to come in.

Drake scratched the back of his head, suddenly embarrassed.

"I um…well, Josh is running a little late, and the halls are getting kind of empty and I saw that you were still here…I just…I was wondering if I could wait here for him?" Drake stumbled, tripping over her words.

She looked up at him curious. Drake Parker was afraid to be alone? She narrowed her eyes studying him closely. He definitely appeared anxious at the moment. She nodded, then straightened her arm and pointed to the rows of desks.

Wordlessly, Drake crossed the room and sat down in the first rows of seats, dropping his backpack on the floor.

"Drake, I will tell you that I will not sit here and watch you play video games or do some other mindless activity. You are welcome to wait here, but you must do something productive. Perhaps, start your homework for once, or at least read a book…you do own books right?" She said smirking. Drake rolled his eyes.

"Yes." He replied leaning back in his chair. He was beginning to think maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. Yet, Mrs. Hayfer wasn't being quite as hateful towards him as she normally was. She hadn't even said that she hated him yet.

She loaned him a copy of the literature they were reading in class, since Drake didn't have his book with him. The two of them fell into an awkward silence, the only time Drake had really only spent time with Mrs. Hayfer after school during detention, so it felt odd to be sitting here in a teacher's classroom willingly and not be in trouble. However, Drake could not see any visible signs on Mrs. Hayfer to indicate she found it odd to have her least favorite student asking to wait for his ride in her classroom.

After around 15 minutes, the desk Drake was sitting at vibrated as his phone went off. He picked the phone off his desk and saw he had a text message from Josh asking where he was.

"Uh…thanks Mrs. Hayfer, my ride is here." He said quickly.

"Take care Drake." Mrs. Hayfer offered before Drake walked out of the classroom. Going to his contacts in his phone, he quickly dialed Josh's number.

"Hey, bro where are you?" Josh asked again.

"I'm by Mrs. Hayfer's class, are you at the car?" Drake asked hesitantly, not wanting to cross the parking lot alone, even though he knew how childish and stupid that sounded.

"Yeah, I'm on my way. I'm leaving the science lab right now, I'll meet you at the front door." Josh answered. Drake breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sure." Drake muttered, then ended the call. He reached the front doors and leaned against the wall, picking at his nails while waiting for Josh. A few minutes later, he heard footsteps coming his way and looked up to see Josh walking toward him.

"Ready?" He asked as he reached Drake. Drake nodded and followed his brother to the car.

Drake glanced nervously at the street, almost expecting to see Rick's truck idling waiting for him.

"Can I drive?" Drake asked, wanting to get home as fast as possible and not wanting to put up with Josh's cautious, always-follow-the-speed-limit" driving. Josh shrugged and handed over the keys to Drake, who hastily jumped into the driver's seat and started the car.

They were about halfway home when Drake glanced in his rear view mirror and saw a white truck barely two cars behind them. His breath caught in his throat and his stomach somersaulted as a wave of nausea suddenly hit him.

"Drake?" Josh asked as Drake visibly paled and tensed.

Drake watched the white truck in the rear view mirror switch to the lane to their left. The truck picked up in speed and soon was beside their car. Drake kept his eyes forward for a minute, then shaking slightly, slowly turned his head and his eyes widened. The driver of the white truck was not his dad. A teenager with dyed black hair sat in the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel the other resting on the windowsill holding a lit cigarette. Drake tried to take a deep breath; he stared down at his hands and noticed that they were shaking.

"Drake?" Josh asked again, his voice more urgent.

"I…I thought I…that he…never mind, I'm fine Josh." He gasped out, bringing his full attention back to the road in front of him and turned onto their street.

Don't lose it Parker. A white truck doesn't automatically mean its Rick. Don't lose it. Keep it together. Drake took another shaky breath then turned off the ignition as he pulled into their driveway.

Hey everyone,

So, for once I actually updated pretty quickly. As I said, this is a thank you to all of you who have read this story and review. Also, again I hope this story isn't going too slowly, if it is let me know and I'll try and pick up the pace. As the trial comes closer and Drake starts the outpatient program, the pace will pick up too.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.

-Fantasyforever1989