*Oh my god, I have my computer back! I missed it so much I could practically kiss it. (You don't need to know that!) Anyway, Here is part II. E.N.J.O.Y.
Oh, and please don't sue me. Mike and Bryan own these characters.
I want to scream.
I want to punch something.
I want to kill Mako for putting me in this position.
I don't take back my heinous thoughts immediately, I try to think them out. Which is something rarely done. I am almost taken aback with how well I have held myself together for the past few weeks.
It hangs in the air over my head for awhile. I have been pregnant, from what I can tell, for a month now. Probably more, it depends how far along I was when I took the actual test three and a half weeks ago.
Mako has asked over the weeks why I see so off-key. Why I am acting so high strung. Why I throw up my food so easily.
I sigh as I close the lid to the toilet, flushing it and resting my head on the cool plaster of the lid. I know it's gross, and I know it's probably extremely unsanitary, but all I am thankful for in the moment is that I have not yet vomited up any internal organs… yet.
Mako was there, I could easily tell he was disgusted, but he stayed with me anyway, rubbing light circles in my back and whispering kind words to me. I want to snap at him, but I am far too exhausted to make any attempts.
What also makes me backtrack my actions is seeing deep into his amber eyes, the ones the hold worry. I almost groan at how worried he is for me.
If the kid is causing this much trouble already, still developing for only a month, Mako is damn well in for a rude awakening.
He doesn't know that yet though, so I hold back my snappiness.
` It was one particular night though that I couldn't shake off how upset and frustrated I was. I found myself, yet again in the bathroom, sitting on the floor next to the toilet. Mako followed me in, just like always, knowing before I opened the door to enter the room, that I was heading to throw up whatever food I had earlier, still not fully digested.
"Why the hell are you playing with my hair!" I snap, trying to smack away his hand.
Unfazed, he says, "I was just trying to get it away from your mouth. I thought it would make you feel better getting your hair out of your face." Mako said.
Guilt ate away at me. "Sorry. Yeah, get it away from my face." Even my apology seemed forced, but he silently nodded, tucking away the stray hairs behind my ear.
I created a small list in my head. It was unintentional, but it contained of symptoms I have been feeling so far. The first symptom was, obviously, nausea, and vomiting. Second, which only appeared a week later at most, was tiredness. I was constantly tired, wanting to go back to bed only hours after waking up.
Everyone questioned my behavior, but I often left them with more questions. I either shrugged or said, "I am not sure."
Of course I knew, but I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet. I wasn't even ready to tell anybody.
Apparently though, I wasn't good at keeping secrets. I never was, and obviously never will be. Mako dropped the bomb one night.
I was laying down next to him, staring out of the window that was opposite of our bed. He was unusually close, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I was relatively calm in the moment, not realizing I had only seconds to spare on the ticking bomb.
Mako's voice broke through the silent air, "Are you pregnant?"
There was a couple of seconds before the question actually settled on my mind. He just asked me if I was pregnant. Why did he have to find out like this? Why am I so bad at telling people things? Am I seriously that obviously bad at keeping secrets? The questions that I was asking myself came flying all at once. I forced myself up on my elbow and turned to look at him.
"How did you know?" I asked.
Well, he obviously got his answer.
"I'm not sure. I guess just a feeling?" He said. "How far along do you think you are?" He asked, also now propped up onto his elbow. I shrug, "I took a test a few weeks ago. I am thinking along the lines of a little over a month?" I asked, half answers, and half questioning.
Mako didn't answer immediately, and I began to think he was upset with me. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Although I couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, I could tell by the quiver in his voice he was hurt.
"I'm sorry. I know I should have. The moment I found out, I know I should have. But I couldn't. I don't know why, but I just couldn't. I wasn't prepared. And I still am not prepared. Mako, I don't know what we are going to do. I just don't know. I am sorry… I am so so sorry," I said, my voice taking on different tones as it was cracking. I felt myself on the verge of tears.
I know he was still hurt, but he took a softer tone towards me. "It's okay. We will figure this out." Even though I know I should feel lighter after getting that off my chest, I guilt trip myself. I know that after this, there will be strain on our relationship. Distrustfulness. Only because I don't tell him things, like the fact he is going to be a father.
I cringe at how much I realize only now that I have been such an idiot for keeping these things away from him.
We settle back into the same positions we had, except I now could feel all the tension in the room. It was almost like humid air, it was there, and you couldn't escape it.
After a few minutes, I am the first one to speak, "So, am I really that bad at keeping secrets?" I hope it forces some of the tension between us out of the room.
He chuckles, "Extremely."
I lightly elbow him, rolling my eyes. I join in on his laugh too, as I also know I am the worst keeper for secrets.
I am not sure exactly when, but I do eventually fall asleep. Despite the stress, and the guilt, and the tension, I manage to fall asleep. I fall asleep particularly in Mako's arms, the only place I have felt safest in the last month.
Sooooooo, did you like it? Leave some reviews, so I know! Also let me know if you want a part three, or you think it is just perfect like this. Also, has anyone else realized how much better of a writer I have become? Or, am I just being cocky as fuck? I am not sure, but I hope you enjoyed!
