It took me a month to update... I'm sorry and thank you so much for being patient. I just want to say thanks to all who reviewed, its nice to know you enjoy my story. Please enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer : I Do Not Own Yu Yu Hakusho.


Hydrangea In The Rain


Chapter Twelve : Dearth of Heart

Courage is not afraid to weep, and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. - Black Hawk

Normal POV

Botan sat stiffly in the corner, too afraid to move, lest she receive a harsh smack from the frightening nurse. She watched Rakshya apply some ice to Kibou's somewhat purplish skin, all while getting a very stern lecture on how to treat hospitalized patients.

The ferry girl could see the smug grin of the injured boy and stuck her tongue out at him in response. He ignored her, turning attention to the female nurse.

"Rakshya," He said in Nepalese, earning a hateful glare from a certain blunette. "I'm feeling really good today."

"Really?" She asked, raising a brow, and placed gauze on his wounded cheek. He winced when she smacked it on, probably in punishment. The female caretaker had a way of knowing when he was responsible for his injuries. She often commented on his brash, straight-forward attitude.

"Yes," He continued, pretending she didn't just subtly penalize him. "May I take Botan to the roof today?" She gaped at him, partly shocked, but recovered swiftly; beaming at him in a way only he could understand.

He realized quickly what she implied and hastily glared, hiding a small blush. Rakshya ignored him.

"Of course." She responded in a sugary way, gaining a deeper blush and a deeper frown from the patient.

Botan looked back and forth between them, an annoyed and confused look on her face.

"What?" She asked the Nepalese woman in English, but only got a secretive smile as a response.

"Have fun and don't stay up there too long; it's getting somewhat colder nowadays." The nurse picked up the clipboard she used to keep track of all the people she tended to and left with a content expression on her face.

"Hey, I-I mean, you- oh w-whatever." Kibou was finally able to articulate though he was positively fuming. His visitor giggled at his behavior and he retorted with a snort. The young lad threw off his covers and tossed his legs of the side of the bed. "Come on."

"Eh? Hey, what you-" He grabbed her hand, giving her a boyish grin with a somewhat mirthful gleam in his eye. Before she could react, he began pulling her out of the hospital room.

He brought her to the elevator and pressed the knob that led to the highest floor. It responded with a chime and the door slid shut, the button glowing a red hue.

She looked oddly at him, but did not say a word, watching him smile slightly in the corner of her eye.

When the entrance opened again, he seized her hand yet again, leading them to a door at the end of the ridiculously elongated hallway. He did not fret discovering it was locked, and reached for a string that was tied around his neck like a necklace. He pulled it out of his shirt, revealing a silver key dangling from the thread.

He stuck the key into the lock, turning it slightly until he heard a tiny click. He stuffed the metal object back into his shirt and swung the door open, pulling her inside.

Botan felt she had remained quiet long enough.

"Kibou, where are we going?" She inquired exasperatedly, still being hauled up the dreary stairs. He grinned.

"Why, outside of course." The boy heaved her up the last few steps and opened the door at the end.

"Wha-" The hospital had a surprising view of the mountainous landscape that Nepal was famous for. She could clearly see the small town it overlooked and the winding river that cut right through the area. There was also the tiny forest she had taken residence in, though she kept that a secret from her companion.

"You can see Mt. Everest over there." He pointed to the far off peak cover with fog. He let her admire his hometown for a while, leaning on the railing that kept them from toppling off the roof of the building. When she finished, she looked almost expectedly at him.

"Why did you bring me here?" Botan quietly asked, still soaking in the natural beauty of the terrain. He shrugged nonchalantly.

"The hospital stunk of expired antiseptic." He pushed himself off the railing, moving to lie on the floor. She smiled and leaned over him, careful to hold her hair back so it wouldn't tickle his face.

"Thank you." He smirked, shutting his eyes in peaceful bliss as Botan rested near him so the tops of their heads lay almost touching. "The sky is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Aa."

"Kibou?" He grunted to show he was paying attention. "Are… are you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"Of death." Surprisingly, he didn't stiffen, nor did he try to dodge the subject, he seemed almost comfortable with the topic.

"Perhaps, but then again, aren't we all?" Kibou asked almost cynically, giving a small grin. "Ah, there so many things I'd like to do. I've always wanted to be an explorer, or maybe an astronaut… or maybe a pilot."

"… You sound like an adult." He waved uncaringly at her comment.

"I've had a lot of time to think about this… After all, I have been told a million times that I would die." Botan sat up quickly, turning to gaze at his face.

"You're not going to die." She said fiercely, balling some of her shirt sleeve in her fist. He sat up and looked her in the eye.

"Then why did you ask?"

"That's not was I-"

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean it isn't your death I'm worried about!" She blurted out before she could take it back. Word vomit, she realized and instantly detested it. He paused, staring at her with wide orbs. "Forget it." She shook her head and stood up, but before she could walk away, Kibou grasped the material of her pant leg.

"Are you afraid?" Her smile was saddening, and foreboding to some extent and for a moment, he was sure she wouldn't answer.

"Deathly afraid." She lowered and reached for his hand like a mother beckoning for her child.

Wordlessly, he accepted her limb, allowing her to take him away.

The trip back to his assigned room was quiet, but neither complained, reaching his quarters in a matter of minutes. He had retreat to his bed and she took the chair that sat right beside it. Botan had not yet released his hand, but he did not ask of it.

She stared out the window.

"… When I was six, my father had died from disease." She raised a brow at his statement, but Kibou did not see her questioning stare and continued. "…My mother hated him." His blue orbs ran over her somewhat pale face. "After he passed away, she destroyed everything of his; clothes, pictures, home movies… I never understood why she loathed him so much; when he was alive, they always seemed really happy.

Then one night, she was going back home after visiting me and was attacked by a robber. She had been stabbed twice and brought here." He took a deep breath and kept his eyes focused on Botan's.

"And as I watched her in the hospital bed, I realized why she detested every remnant of my dad. It was because he had left her. Because he went to heaven without her. Because she loved him so much, it pained her to see anything that reminded her that he was gone." He stopped, suddenly smiling at her. "At that moment, I knew exactly how she had felt all those years. And soon, I began to hate them both, just as my mom did with my dad." He paused, his mind processing all the memories that suddenly poured out, like thousands upon thousands of raindrops in a thunder storm.

"What about you?" He asked, squeezing her hand tightly in his when she gave him a startled gaze. "I see you look up at the sky a lot; I do that too when I remember my parents…" She didn't respond right away, unable to recollect anything.

"… They died a long, long time ago; I can't even remember what they look like anymore. It often makes me wonder if I had a family at all." Botan laughed at bit, though she spoke in a sorrowful tone. "But I have some people who I feel have become my family and that's good enough for me." Kibou gave her a rare half-smile which she returned with a radiant beam and slightly pink cheeks. "It's nice to talk, isn't it?"

"Aa."

"Hey Kibou?" He nodded to indicate she had his attention. "… Do you still hate your parents?"

"…. What do you think?" She grinned happily.


Though her bed had been an uncomfortable tree and she had several bug bites on her limbs, Botan smiled joyfully knowing her best friend since Cara was awaiting her arrival semi patiently.

After making sure no one was around, she threw off her dirty shirt and pulled a somewhat fresh, but wrinkled, one from her knapsack. Quickly switching her jeans, she ran to her usual field to pick fresh flowers for Kibou, knowing the old ones she had gotten yesterday wilted.

She selected a few daisies, asters, and several bright orange cosmos flowers. The coloring was a bit odd, but she had a feeling he could care less about the hues.

She was just about to leave until two odd floras caught her eye. Being the curious creature that she was, she examined each of them and picked them, deciding to ask Kibou later.

She was sure he had books on just about everything.

Collecting her wares, she trotted off to the hospital. It felt like a beautiful day.

"Kibou?" The blue haired woman knocked on the door, careful not the drop any of the plants. A soft 'Come in.' sounded from behind the block of wood, so she went in, having to shift a bit to twist the knob.

He smiled cheerily watching her enter.

"Good morning." She beamed while taking her place on the stool beside him. He slightly dipped his head to return her greeting. "It was very interesting today."

"Oh? It's only ten a.m."

"Yes and I found these two flowers in the fields today; I've never seen anything like them." She plucked her new discoveries from the bouquet and presented them to him with great gusto.

He took them from the palms of her hands, a natural inquisitiveness taking over. Unable to recognize them, he leaned to the drawer beside him, pulling out a hefty book, quite different than the paperback on Roman mythology he pulled out the day before.

It was a far older book; the cover had several small scratches that had made the title almost illegible and portrayed, to some extent, an aged, raggedy item. The pages had an antique white coloring to them and were a bit crumpled at the edges. There were many tabs that jutted out of the tome, suggesting it had been used generously over the years.

The ferry girl watched in profound fascination as Kibou had once again took on a much older persona and held a rather scholarly attitude. All the boy need was some round framed glasses.

The young man flipped through the ancient volume; it would be hard to find the particular floras without their common or botanical names, but he always loved a challenge.

He briefly glanced up and saw amethyst eyes glittering with unfathomable interest. He inwardly chuckled.

"This is my father's old botany book." He informed her in hopes of quenching her immense curiosity. "Like any child, I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Do you still wish to become a botanist?" She asked languidly, partially engrossed in all the bright pictures of exotic flowers that could probably be found in a steamy rain forest somewhere in the Amazon. He answered her inquiry with a faint smile.

Botan had become so transfixed by the wondrous manuscript, her mind completely forgot about the slowly drying plants in her hands. The boy vaguely reminded her, causing her to pout as she tore her eyes away for the pages to go and prep the vegetation and place them in water.

Kibou still searched, his eyes soon caught the sight of an image of the same flower sitting beside him on his bed. He silently read the description by himself.

'Aconite is now found wild in a few parts of England , mainly in the western counties and also in South Wales , but can hardly be considered truly indigenous.' Kibou furrowed his brows; then it was indeed odd to find this type of flower growing wildly in Nepal . Keeping his thoughts, he continued with the passage.

'It was very early introduced into England , being mentioned in all the English vocabularies of plants from the tenth century downwards, and in Early English medical recipes.' He skipped a few useless sections like description and medicinal uses and moved lowered to the passage about the other species.

'Indian Aconite root or Nepal Aconite consists of the root of A. laciniatum (Staph.). It is also called Bikh or Bish, and is collected in Nepal . It is much larger than the English variety, being a conical, not suddenly tapering root, 2 to 4 inches long and an inch or more at the top, of a lighter brown than the official variety, the rootlet scars much fewer than the official root.' The boy examined the photograph, noting that the flower he held resembled the European type more than the Nepalese type.

He considered a few ludicrous ideas, like the species suddenly becoming common here or the Nepalese Aconite evolving more European, before tossing them out.

Absently, he read the whole page about the flower. He skimmed the segment of the meaning of flower and, almost missing it, reread it again.

'Not all flowers speak of love; the aconite (Aconitum napellus, or Monkshood) for example. The aconite says, 'Beware, a deadly foe is near.'' He stopped reading, his gaze slowing shifting to the oblivious blue haired maiden.

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. He shook his head noiselessly, gently placing the lavender colored plant beside him and picked the other flower up instead.

He turned the pages slowly, trying not to alert the woman beside him in any way. He found it as easily as the first one and read the information just as quietly.

'Botanical name: Cyclamen hederaefolium, Common Name: Sowbread, Parts Used: Tuberous root-stock used fresh when the plant is in flower.' He frowned at the useless data he was receiving, skipping over more of the scientific lingo.

'In the Victorian language of flowers, the Cyclamen means but two things: Resignation, and Goodbye.'

"Done!" Botan shouted excitedly, practically throwing the last aster into the over crammed vase. "I think I should have brought less though…" She laughed to herself, rubbing the back of her head. "Did you find anything Kibou?" He looked up at her, turning to the next page leisurely.

"No." He gave a small smile. "It's probably not important anyway." He shut the book softly, resting his hands on the closed cover. "Botan, do you like your name?"

"Hm? I suppose I do." She brightly beamed. "It's a strong name, or so I've been told."

"Yes, I would think so. After all I heard that in Japan, 'Botan' is a male name." The ferry girl blushed, half in anger and half in embarrassment, as he stressed the word. Nevertheless, he continued.

"Peonies were believed to mean secretiveness because legends say that the peony granted its recipient the power to keep secrets. And among its many petals, nymphs made their homes because they would be protected in its tightly clenched petals." He smiled as he spoke about her, more specifically her name. He had said it all without have to glance at the tome on his lap.

"They are lovely flowers; but I think you're different from a peony Botan." He still had a smiled etched on his face. "I think you're more like a hydrangea."

"A hydrangea…? Why? Do they mean something?"

"In the Victorian language of flowers they can mean boastfulness, vanity, heartlessness, frigidity, or…" Her face was flush in rage and moved to strangle him before he continued, but he was already finished.

"Wha…?"

"I said, they can mean 'Thank you for understanding'. And in all, I think you'd be the last one."

"Kibou…"

"Well that's not the reason I believe you're more suited as a hydrangea."

"…" He laughed in a buoyant way.

"What's with that look?" He chuckled even while she shook him somewhat violently, grasping the aqua hospital garment's collar. "Hydrangeas are different from all others." He stated, causing Botan to cease her vicious shaking. "They change color with the pH of their soil, so in truth they don't know what their true color is. Maybe it's pink, or purple, or white… or blue." All the while he stared into her eyes, holding her in an odd, indescribable stare. "And yet they grow, in great numbers, into beautiful blossoms and big bushes. It makes me believe they can handle anything; even if the whole world fell apart." He rested his forehead on hers in a simply platonic way, staring into her sparkling amethyst orbs. "I think that's you."

A smile slowly crept its way onto her face until she began to giggle with uncontrollable joy.

"Then you're a hydrangea too!" She exclaimed with great delight and watched another rare grin stretch across his features. He took one of her hands in his.

"Let's go outside."

"What?" The blue hair woman was worried as his attitude turned serious.

"I want to go outside. Come with me."

"K-kibou, what are-" He stood up before she could finish, taking her out the door with him. "Where are we going?"

He didn't reply, pulling her into the elevator once again. She watched him push the button that led to the lobby floor and she immediately knew what he wanted to do.

"You can't go outside, it's too dangerous!" She grabbed his arm to make him look her in the eyes. "What if you have another attack? I… I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." He gazed at her sorrowful orbs.

"Botan." He implored, holding tightly onto her. "Just once, I'd like to go outside. Just this once, please."

"… Kibou-" The doors opened and Botan threw her jacket over his head. The passing nurse didn't acknowledge them. They ran to a nearby corner and hid. "… I don't know how far we can get with you in hospital clothes." He nodded.

"It's alright, this hospital doesn't have many doctors, so the nurses often have to take two different areas to work on; you won't see them around much."

"Is that why Rakshya can never stay with us for too long?"

"Yeah." Her mouth formed a small 'o', in which Kibou rolled his eyes at. "Look, when the woman at front desk goes to take her other shift, we will have about five to ten minutes to get to the door."

"How do you know all this?" He smirked proudly.

"When you've been here as long as I have, you know things."

"Look, she's getting up now." The two stared expectantly at the Nepalese woman who stretched her legs, leisurely getting off her seat. After she picked up her things, she was on her way down the other end of the hall.

Botan and Kibou dashed out, running as fast as they could out the double doors and as far down the road as they could get. Panting, they looked at back to the hospital which seemed a good distance away, then to each other, smiling with satisfaction.

"Twenty minutes." She warned him in which he grinned playfully.

"Now you're starting to act-" Before he could finish, she had proceeded to drag him away.

The exuberant girl could hardly control her zeal, her face lighting up with a luminous glow that could only be called joy.

"This is where I come to get you flowers every morning." She announced after pulling him midway into the wide terrain of wilds flowers and tall grass. Stopping in the heart of the area, she plopped down on the bed of grass, slightly tugging at Kibou's arm so he would lie down too. But he would not budge.

"Botan," He whispered over the howling wind. "Could you do something for me?"

"Hm? What is it?" She rose a little before his voice stopped her.

"You have to promise me you'll do it."

"Why? What do you want?"

"I… want you to return to Japan ." Her body sat unmoving on the grass, unable to

"K-kibou… why-" She stopped, her eyes widened and her pulse quickened as she stared the blond that suddenly appeared behind him.

"I found you, Bo-chan."


This chapter is long, so I hope it makes up for my inability to update quickly. Thanks again for reading my fic, don't forget to review.