No Copyright infringement intended on Stephenie Meyer's work!

Corrine

Attempting to rebel against the feelings that Paul stirred in me today, I called Marlon as soon as I got home and made a date for that night. We decided to go to the pizzeria for dinner. I dressed up in a pair of black leggings with white skulls all over them, my black boots, a long red plaid shirt and my leather jacket. I put my hair in a high pony tail and borrowed some of Mom's red lipstick.

"Wow, look at you!" she said when she caught me in her vanity mirror.

"You look like Minnie Mouse," Luke said with a giggle as he jumped on our parents' bed.

"No I don't silly" I told him. I caught him and tickled his tummy until he got away.

"So where are you guys going?"

"Just to get some pizza. I'm not sure about after."

"Are you being safe?" Mom asked me.

"Mom! It's not even like that! And I doubt it will be."

"I thought you liked him?"

"I do, but it's not that serious, okay?"

"Alright, that's good to hear, I want you to be much older before you consider certain other things." She looked at me knowingly.

I kissed her cheek. "You've got nothing to worry about."

I ran downstairs and out the door when I heard Marlon pull up in his Trans Am.

Ten minutes later we were seated at a booth eating pepperoni pizza, my fave.

"So what are you doing about college?" he asked.

"Uh, I'm not sure. You?"

"I might go to Michigan State, or something. I dunno yet, but my Dad's got a few friends and I think he can get me in at lots of places."

"That's cool, I'm happy for you."

"I'll be glad to get out of this dead ass town, I just wanna be free to see the world, yuh know?" He looked at me for a second with passion in his eyes. "But, I'll miss seeing you though," he tacked on as an after-thought, throwing me what he believed was a charming smile. "It would be cool if we went to college together."

I snorted. Sure, like that would ever happen. There would be tons of other beautiful girls around and they'd all be receptive of his charm. And I was in no danger of following Marlon anywhere.

"You know, you're super talented Corrie, you could do anything you want, don't you wanna get out of this place too? You could do anything." He took a bite of pizza and watched me expectantly.

"Sometimes I do but I dunno, it's home… I love it here." I shrugged. "Well, I love La Push more."

"Oh yeah, your family's from there right?"

I nodded. "My Dad's family. My Mom's family is from Seattle."

"But La Push is even worse than here! They've got a population of like three hundred! What would you do over there?"

Be with Paul. I choked on my own thoughts and took a huge gulp of coke. How could I be so stupid to think that? Leanne was in La Push too…although she did say she would be going away to college. Why did the thought of that excite me? The guilt wormed its way in again and I coughed some more. If Marlon knew what I was thinking, he'd be really hurt too. I internally berated myself for not being smarter. Marlon not Paul, simple! At least for another year of my life that was the safer bet.

"You alright?" Marlon asked, coming over to rub my back.

I nodded, uncertain that I should speak. He leaned over and kissed me chastely on the lips before going back to his seat to resume his eating. I decided to eat too, just so I wouldn't have to talk. Luckily Marlon dropped the topic and started talking about something his friend told him about another guy at school. Apparently Peter Simms had been caught snorting cocaine by his parents.

After finishing up our pizza we shared a sundae which was delicious. I felt a little better then – I mean, who wouldn't after eating fudge and ice cream? Marlon paid the bill and took me by the hand as we walked back to his car.

"So where to now?"

I didn't know how to answer so I shrugged. Most kids went to the beach on dates, but I couldn't. That was my place to talk to Paul and what if I saw him there? La Push was out of the question. Marlon didn't belong in that part of my world.

"You wanna go to Mike's place? He's got some people over?"

"Okay, that sounds good." Us not being alone together suddenly sounded better.

When we got to Mike's place a lot of Marlon's friends from the basketball team were there. I wasn't surprised. I recognized a few girls from my team and even Valerie.

"Val?" I went over to her and pinched her shoulder lightly.

"HEY!" She said and hugged me. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. "You cammmmmeee!"

"Are you okay?"

"I am perfect! Can't you tell?" she drawled and lazily slung her arm around my neck.

"I think you hit your limit," I said disapprovingly.

"Oh Mom, don't start," she rolled her eyes at me causing a few of the others girls to snigger.

"Come on Corr, she's fine." Tara reassured me.

I didn't like them making fun of me. Valerie was my best friend and I could see that she was wasted. "Did you drive?" I whispered.

"Yeap."

"OH Val! Why did you drink then?" I whined.

"I'll be fine before I leave, hun. Stop worrying."

"Okay, that means you're definitely done for the night. I'm gonna get you some coffee and a snack. Come on." I carried her upstairs and opened a couple doors til I found a bathroom. I made her stoop in front of the toilet and then I shoved my finger down her throat causing her to hurl into the bowl.

"God Corr!" she protested when she got a chance to talk.

"I had to, and you know it," I said sternly. "Stay here, I'm gonna get that food and be right back. Don't move Val, I'm not kidding."

Valerie rolled her eyes at me. "Fine."

I ran back downstairs and went straight to the kitchen, looking through the cupboards.

"Can I help you with something?" Mike asked, obviously pissed at me for being so bold.

"I need coffee for Val now." I demanded.

Mike walked over to a cupboard above the microwave and handed me a bottle of instant coffee.

"Thanks." I mumbled. He then went to the electric kettle and turned it on for me. "Hey do you have crackers?" I asked sheepishly, ashamed at my lack of manners. Mike nodded and handed over a box from another cupboard.

I thanked him again and he tipped an imaginary hat at me before walking out the kitchen.

I had just finished preparing the coffee and placing the crackers on a plate when Marlon found me.

"Corr! What are you doing? I've been looking for you."

"Val is drunk, I'm just trying to sober her up."

"Oh great! So there goes the rest of our night then!" He threw his hands up in exasperation. I hadn't thought that far ahead but he was right. I needed to drive Val home. I couldn't let her do it.

"I'm sorry but I have to take care of her."

Marlon nodded but I could see his disappointment. "Well I guess I'll go back to the guys then."

"Sure, I'll check you later." When I left the kitchen I glanced around at the party going on. Girls were dancing, the guys were goofing off playing beer pong. Marlon looked quite happy; as usual he was the center of attention. I knew he wouldn't really miss me and I was slightly annoyed. I felt as though he should have cared more about my best friend. He should have been helping me.

Would Paul help? I shoved the thought out of my head and went back upstairs.

Val was on the floor outside the bathroom, propped up against the wall with her eyes closed.

"You okay?" I asked setting the stuff down on the floor between us. I had snagged a water and some cookies too.

"Yeah, uh Simon was keeping my company for a bit."

"Simon Rivers? Really?" I was surprised that he was here. These weren't exactly his friends. He was a quiet but okay looking guy from our year.

"Yeah, well you know Josh is his twin, right? He dragged him along. He was all too happy for an escape from the guys I think." Val took some of the water, a cracker and then sipped the coffee.

Josh was on the team with Marlon.

"I think Simon has liked you for a while though, he stares at you in class." I said.

"Who doesn't?" Val smirked at me and I rolled my eyes at her, shoving another Chips-a-Hoy into my mouth.

"So where's Marlon? You came here with him right?"

"Yeah, we went for pizza. He's not happy with you for messing up our night by the way. I guess he wanted to show me off to his friends."

"You're welcome," Val said to me knowingly. I couldn't help but laugh. She was right after all. That wasn't who I was. Being captain of the volley ball team didn't mean that I wanted to be a popular "jockette." I didn't mind going to parties, but I didn't want to be the center of attention like Marlon, and I knew he'd pull me into his circle one way or another.

"So do you like him now?" Val asked. I could see she was feeling better now, her eyes were clear.

I sighed and shook my head. "I guess, I just don't know if we really click."

"You'd make a nice couple, both captains, athletic, good-looking."

"Yeah, but, that isn't enough, Val." I shrugged.

"I know. But still, give it a shot. I mean, who else is there? You'd prefer an Emo or Goth beau instead?" Valerie scoffed.

I prefer a giant. I sighed again, the guilt making its way back. I needed to stop thinking about the one choice I didn't have, but it was hard not to. Paul had thrown it out there and now it was all I could think about….What if we became friends? What if we both wanted more than that?

"Have you ever liked a guy who was all wrong for you? Who made you angry as fudge?" I blurted out.

Valerie looked at me with a confused expression. "Ummm, yeah! Johnny Resnick, remember?" she scoffed and shook her head. "We fought like cats n dogs, but the making up was hotter than the Sahara. He was like a drug, I hated to want him." Johnny Resnick was this punk rocker guy from Port Angeles that Val dated last summer. She went through a rebellious phase and looked for the one guy who'd upset her parents. Needless to say, it worked like a charm.

That was how I felt about Paul too.

I hated to want him.

"Every girl wants a bad boy at some point, but it's never worth it. All the arguing and making out, it gets you nowhere, and they always dump you for some other chick who knows how to keep her mouth shut and do as she's told." She rolled her eyes. "Older guys are no fun sometimes."

I couldn't help but feel like that was true about Paul too. Leanne told me all about his reputation, and it wasn't good. He'd just use me like he used her, so I had no option but to turn down his so-called friendship. Why was he so infatuated with me anyway, was it because I was new meat? I bet it was. He was just practicing his sweet talk on me. I sighed and knocked the back of my head against the wall. I was just a stupid fly on his spider web.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." I grumbled. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I guess, sleep is calling."

I picked up the plate and coffee mug while Val held on to the water. I washed the dishes and found Marlon to let him know I was leaving. Val was saying her goodbyes to Simon and our friends.

"I'll walk you out," he said to my surprise. He threw his hand around my shoulders and made a big show of walking me outside. He then pushed me up against Val's car and kissed me hard, his arms locked around my waist. He tasted bitter with beer and it wasn't appealing but I didn't stop him. I needed to do this, I needed to keeping doing things that would remind me that there were no options.

"Later babe," he winked at me and ran back inside. I slid into the driver's seat and buckled up as I started the car.

"Wow." Val looked at me smugly.

"Shut up, Val."

She laughed as I pulled out from the curb and headed over to her house which wasn't far away.

"Spend the night?" she asked with puppy eyes as I pulled into her garage.

"Sure." I called my parents to let them know I was doing that before walking inside the mansion. In her room I found a pair of pajamas and crawled under the covers. We always slept in the same bed even though she had a futon.

"Night Corr, sweet dreams."

"Night Val, sweet dreams," I replied mechanically.

It took me an hour of over-analyzing my feelings before I could drift off to sleep.

The next morning I hung out with Val, her mom and little brother. Val woke up early because she didn't want her mother to find out she'd been drinking. She took a shower and had some Panadol before heading downstairs looking fresh and brand new. She was the Queen of Covering Tracks.

We ate pancakes and a whole spread of breakfast foods that their housekeeper made for us. It was all delicious. I didn't envy them for being rich, I believed that it came with a price, Mr. Davis was always working, never at home. Pampered living was the substitute for his presence.

I got home around eleven that morning. Mom was making lunch for the boys – burgers and fries. I decided to help her finish it.

"How was your night?"

"It was quiet. After pizza we just went to Mike's place for a small get together and then Val and I went to her house, like I told you, she wasn't feeling well. Marlon was kinda pissed but, whatevs." I shrugged and went back to slicing tomatoes into perfect circles.

"Who is Val dating?"

"No one right now, but I think Simon Rivers has a thing for her. He actually talked to her last night, so we'll see how it goes."

"Oh, Marlene is a nice woman, I'm sure Simon was raised right."

And that's how it was, everybody knew everybody in Forks.

I ate lunch with my family and put some laundry in before I decided to take a ride. I had a babysitting job later that night.

I went to Joey's trail and for some reason decided to be fast and reckless on the course. I had been faking my good mood all morning and afternoon and now was the chance to blow off some steam.

I was upset, for a lot of reasons:

I was upset that Paul wanted to be my friend…that he'd placed an offer on the table: he could be whatever I wanted him to be.

I was resentful because he'd dated my cousin first, making it impossible for me to accept his proposal.

I was annoyed with myself for being interested in him knowing that he was a danger to girls everywhere.

I was pissed that I couldn't stop thinking about him constantly.

I loathed the fact that I was attracted to him, making it impossible to want any other guy as much as I wanted him.

I hated the feeling I got around him, that tugging in my chest. How dare he say that he felt it too?

It was all just too much. Paul wasn't the one for me. He was rude and angry and a womanizer.

Val was right, he was a bad boy and all I would get out of it would be making out and arguing. I deserved more than that. It was ridiculous. How old was he and how old am I? It was pointless.

So why did I yearn for him like I would water in the desert? I couldn't keep on like this! I was being a total fool over a guy I hardly knew!

"I can't forget you, I don't want to forget you Corrine!"

"You don't understand what this is between us."

"I'm drawn to you and I think it would be best if I stopped fighting it."

Why did he have to say those things?

Why did they mean so much to me, more than the negative facts about him?

I stopped the bike, needing a moment. Plus I had almost flipped myself because I went up the ramp lopsided. I was being careless now – thinking instead of focusing on the ride. I didn't want to break a leg or something, then I'd definitely never enjoy my summer.

"Dammit Paul!" I screamed through hot tears. Why did he have to choose me as his next conquest? I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't experienced enough for this. I knew nothing about dating older guys and what they expected. Did being friends just mean being friends? Maybe I couldn't be friends.

I heard a whining sound from the bushes and my eyes immediately searched for my wolf.

"Bullet," I sniffled. He whined again. "It's okay boy," I said pathetically. "I'm just being a girl. Annoying isn't it?" Bullet barked and made a choking sound that sounded like laughter. Could a wolf laugh? How did he understand me so well?

A shiver ran down my spine when his eyes locked with mine. It freaked me out that there was something oddly familiar about them. He'd never been so close to me before. I longed to reach out and touch his fur, what did it feel like?

"Okay, I'm heading home now," I whispered cautiously, knowing that it was dangerous to be so close to a wild animal despite how domesticated it seemed to be.

I started up the bike and sped away back to the main road, never once looking to see if the silver gray wolf was following me.

Paul

I was at Sam's for lunch with the pack. Everyone was jovial and talking animatedly. But I couldn't join in. I hadn't been sleeping well and I felt miserable all the time – since Corrine said that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Sam and Emily were talking softly so none of us could hear. It was when I saw them both looking at me that I knew what was coming. Sam walked over and motioned for me to follow him outside. We walked out to the backyard and sat on the lawn together, both shirtless.

"How are things Paul? Emily is worried about you."

I snorted and snapped bitterly, "You already know, since everyone enjoys discussing the things they see in my head."

"No one wants you to be hurt Paul. None of us are happy that Corrine wants you to stay away from her."

"My soulmate doesn't want me around because I went on a couple dates with her cousin – a girl I never even liked. You can go ahead and say it, you know? You were right, I should have left Leanne alone."

"I don't want to gloat, that doesn't matter. I want to see you with your imprint. I know what it's like to be separated, to have her reject you, and it's the worst pain in the world. It's beginning to take its toll on you Paul."

"Well I said I never wanted it right? So I'm getting exactly that. I'm not complaining, it's best this way."

"That's hogwash Paul. You know you care and you want her, there's no shame in that. It's natural." These were exactly the kinds of thoughts I didn't need anyone putting in my head. My wolf didn't need the encouragement.

"Corrie's with someone else, and Leanne is a deal-breaker. She doesn't even want to be friends. She only talks nicely to me when I'm in my wolf-form. I'm just being realistic, Sam. I'm not going to hope for what I can't have." For what I don't deserve.

"You can have her, there's still a chance for things to change."

"I don't want her like that." I reiterated for the millionth time. But I was starting to get sick of saying it, cause it hurt. Sam said nothing, he just looked out into the trees.

"You know what really gets to me? I can't even date anyone else! I can't even look at another girl who actually wants me!" I cuffed my chest in frustration. "Corrie could date someone else, but I can't. She's taken all my independence away – just like I always knew she would. This whole thing is just not going my way and now I'm stuck. I always knew imprinting would be the death of me." My voice broke in the end, as the pain took a hold of me. I was pissed at Jared and Sam for always making it seem like imprinting was the best thing in the world. Their happiness and my misery made it clear that I simply wasn't worthy of this, like I always knew.

"Jake should have been the one to imprint on Corrine. They both would have been much happier." My heart twisted in pain as I said the words and I hung my head in shame.

Sam reached over and squeezed my shoulder in support. "You're hurting Paul and we need to find a way to fix it so you can regain your strength."

"My strength is fine Sam."

"No it isn't. You're starting to lose weight. Your eyes are hollow, you're losing your speed bit by bit. Imagine what she's feeling, she can't be happy, no matter what lies you tell yourself to ease the pain."

"There's nothing I can do about it Sam."

"Just don't give up hope. None of us are. We believe that she'll come around. Emily knows from experience that one day soon Corrine will realize that you're the one she needs and it will all fall into place."

I snorted. "Okay. But forgive me if I don't hold my breath."

The day she did that, Paul Lahote was officially done for.

After a while I grew too restless to stay put. The tug in my chest increased and the wolf in me wanted to see Corrine. It had been hours since I'd last laid eyes on her and I couldn't resist any longer. I decided to make a quick run over to Forks to check on her. I felt anxious, like something was wrong.

I found her at the trail, riding. But there was something different about the way she did it today. She was moving way too fast, careless even. I almost phased back and yelled at her for being stupid. She went over a ramp too close to the edge and almost flipped herself. At least she had sense enough to take a break.

But it was more than just a break, it was a break down. I watched her shoulders heave with gut-wrenching sobs and wasn't expecting what came next. She threw her head back in anguish and screamed "Dammit Paul!" It caught me totally off guard, and although she was in pain I felt hopeful for a split second.

Her tears were about me?

Why?

Was Emily right?

I quickly denied that thought with a tortured whine. Being hopeful was stupid.

"Bullet," she sniffled. I automatically whined at the pain in her voice. "It's okay boy," she said. "I'm just being a girl. Annoying isn't it?" I barked and laughed at her attempt to be funny, it was unexpected for her to be humorous while crying. Somehow I had drawn closer to her than I had ever ventured before in wolf form. Our eyes locked and an electric wave ran down my spine. I could see that she felt it too and that she was curious about me.

"Okay, I'm heading home now." She started up the bike and sped away back to the main road, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I wished she had confided in Bullet just so I could understand what had just happened.

She was the one who walked away. Was she regretting that now?

She was unconsciously rejecting the imprint and although I was still on the fence about me and her; I was worried for her health, her mental and physical well-being. Today was proof that I should be, she looked miserable. We needed to at least be friends or in constant contact with each other for the sake of our individual sanity. That was just fact.

When winter comes, she wouldn't be out riding for my wolf to visit her, so what then? And how much longer could my wolf last without physical contact with our imprint? I needed it more than I cared to admit. No matter how much I told myself that Corrine and I didn't need to be in a relationship reality was saying otherwise. I found myself wanting more and more to reach out to her and the imprint was becoming less and less undesirable to me.

But I just didn't know how to reach out to her anymore. I was losing my way wading through all this imprint drama with Corrie.

The point we were at now, it was all up to her, and I was afraid of what she'd do next.