Dudley Dursley was oddly comfortable in the world of magic even without his cousins confident guidance.

After going to school in Smeltings for three years, and spendings nearly a months with Harry, everything about magic seemed almost predictable. Dudley became laxed, he dropped his guard. It was his own fault really.

He just never expected Wizards to be gay.

Obviously gay people were normal enough, but that was just it. They were Normal. Wizards and Witches were … well not.

It was embarrassing how shocked Dudley had been when he hiked up the cliff to find Finn making out with some platinum blond dweeb. His first reaction was to draw his gun and press it to the boy's head.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

"Dudley, relax" Finn had never given an order in his life, but this was probably as close as he would ever get.

Reluctantly, Dudley lowered his side arm but he didn't relax entirely.

"I'm Draco." Platinum answered with such aristocratic arrogance that Dudley nearly shot him out of spit.

He figured Harry wouldn't approve though. If he had an guessed of how wrong he was, Draco Malfoy would have been swiss cheese. It was Dudley's ignorance that saved Draco in the end.

Dudley took a half a step back and assessed the situation. Draco was clearly a wizard. He had nearly identical robes to Harry. Finn seemed entirely fine with him being in the tent and Draco looked at home at the Selkies side. They were probably dating or as close to it as Finn could manage.

That didn't explain how Draco came to be in Finn's tent when the Carnaval wasn't even in Vancouver yet. By rights, only the Ring Master should be visiting. Draco had striking features and a snobbish attitude that made him hard to miss, yet Dudley had never seen him before. Somehow, Draco had managed to get into the Carnival to visit without raising alarm. He was clearly privileged to uninterrupted visits.

Likely, he clearly came from a rich family. If his superiority complex was anything to go by, not a terribly nice family. Not the kind that earned their riches. Maybe his family had investments within the Carnaval.

Draco wasn't the sort who knew how to share so he was likely the only son. Therefore, it wasn't a sibling who invested in the Carnival. Draco himself was too young so either his parents or an Aunt or Uncle.

"Where's your father?" It was a hunch. Not a terribly good one either. Dudley knew for a fact that if he were in Smeltings, he'd be reamed out for such faulty logic but Draco and Finn didn't seem to notice.

If anything they both looked equally shocked.

"I thought you were a muggle" Draco sneered.

Dudley pistol whipped him.

Dudley never pretended to be even tempered.

"You great bleed oaf-"

Dudley pressed the muzzle of his gun to Draco's forehead which shut up the pretentious prattling twit.

"Where is your father?"

"In talking with the Ringmaster. I wasn't invited because Father suspects I don't approve of the Carnaval and doesn't want me interfering with his investment." The dweeb sneared.

Finn pushed gently at Dudley's wrist until the gun was lowered and Draco was out of immediate danger.

Dudley still felt like he was teetering on manslaughter and his face like showed it.

"Look, obviously, Mr. Malfoy and the Ringmaster don't know about us. But-"

Dudley had the sickening sense that Finn was about to spew some overly sentimental tripe.

Finn rained himself in though, "Draco and I are … well we are what we are on our own terms."

"What about getting your pelt back?" Dudley asked.

Draco sneered "I've already tried. It's not use. Once my father passes then I can negotiate Finn's release but Father won't hear of it now."

Dudley smeared, "Look here montague-"

""It's Malfoy!"

"Whatever. If you care about someone, you don't just give up because it's hard."

"You got a better suggestion?" Draco crossed his arm defensively.

Finn looked stricken .

Dudley pursed his lips. There last hair brained scheme had landed Harry in a Yeti's tent. He was still recovering weeks later.

"Obviously we can't rush anything. Nothing we've tried so far has worked. But that doesn't mean we give up. We need to regroup a bit. Maybe leave off with getting the pelt for now. In the meantime we need to figure out how to get the collars off. Since you're already snogging Finn and staring longingly into his eyes, do us a favor and sketch out what the collar says."

Dudley pulled out a bit of parchment form his bag and a muggle pen. Platinum looked dubious at the pen but took it nonetheless.