Chapter 12: Hypocrisy
She briefly panicked when she saw the SUV in the driveway. Brad was sitting there waiting for her. She was grateful, she ran into the bakery first thing. It made it look like she had really been out and about early running errands. Not at all like she slept over at another man's all night.
He exited his car as soon as she parked.
"Hey Brad, what's up? I wasn't expecting you this early."
"I can't Bella."
"Can't what?"
"Keep lying for my brother. Do you know where he is?"
"Obviously, not with you, like he told me, so I think I have a pretty good idea."
He asked if they could talk inside. She shook her bag in front of him and told him she brought scones. Brad had a seat at the kitchen table while Bella put on a pot of coffee. He had a guilty conscience. He made a few confessions to her.
"He needs help...really intense therapy. I believe he wants to turn it around. Really, we just all need to stand up to him. I've talked to my parents until I'm blue in the face. They didn't want me to come here and start trouble for you two."
Bella admitted trouble started long before and they all knew it. "I can't live like this."
"You shouldn't have to but he loves you. I know he does. Please don't give up. We all want to see the family stay intact. I'm proposing an intervention. They do it for drug addicts and alcoholics. You know it's a similar affliction."
She talked with Bret's brother a good two hours. There wasn't much time to dwell on the fact she'd cheated and had already planned to see Embry again... Monday for lunch. Brad thought they could succeed in helping Bret once and for all if they presented a united front. She wasn't even sure she cared enough anymore, but then Charlie called. He put the kids on to say good morning. Connor asked to speak to his dad. He wanted to tell him about all the tickets he'd won playing games the night before.
"I got a prize and had enough to get something for Annie too."
"That's good, baby. Daddy's not here right now, but you can tell him all about it when you come home."
She talked to her father and asked if he could keep them until dinnertime. He asked if something was up. She was sure he didn't believe her lie that everything was fine, but he said the kids were enjoying their time. Sue was making cookies with them and they were welcome as long as she needed them to stay. Maybe she still did care in regards to her husband, because she owed her kids. She and Bret were probably irrevocably damaged, but if she could help him be a whole person again, it was the least she could do for her children. They deserved the father they started out with.
Brad agreed to stay with her until he returned because he was sensing it wouldn't be pretty as soon as he knew he'd been caught in a lie. He came home after lunch looking like pure hell. She assumed he'd lost money. He probably kept it up all night, hoping he could gain some back. Bella doubted all those cash pay jobs were real jobs at all. He spent a lot of time gambling, so of course, he won sometimes. He just didn't know when to quit.
The brothers got into it first. Brad was relentless, he told him exactly what he thought about his lies. He told Bret he was hurting Bella and his children.
"My kids don't even know."
"It doesn't matter, it affects them. Don't lie to yourself, that it doesn't."
Bret pleaded with her, "Bella, it's not what you think. Whatever he came here to say, don't take his word for it. I'm your husband. Let's talk about it."
She pulled the receipt out of the drawer and let him know Brad hadn't revealed any truth she hadn't already discovered. She knew he never stopped.
"No, you're wrong. I did for a long time. This only happened a few times. It's just... I was desperate to provide for you and the kids. We can't live on your income only and keep up our normal lifestyle. Jobs were hard to come by. I'm still trying." He made a string of invalid arguments on his behalf. He sounded like a rambling man at the end of his rope. She opened the computer and showed him his unfinished resume and all the jobs he was supposed to apply for. He hadn't filled out one application completely. They hadn't been to the marriage counselor all summer. He always canceled on her. She wasn't sure of the last group meeting he attended either.
Bret wasn't in any shape to keep up the fighting while she and Brad ganged up on him. He hadn't slept all evening or eaten any decent food. She finally gave up and told him to take a shower and go to bed. She thanked Brad for helping. He vowed to be there for her any hour of the day, but she knew he had his own family to care for.
She made an early dinner. At least, the house would appear to be normal by the time the kids arrived. Her father didn't stay but he looked around and she let him know Bret was having a nap. She fed the kids and they asked if they could watch a little TV before bath time, so she put on there favorite, silly cartoon. She cleaned the kitchen and then pulled her phone off the charger. She had shut it off during all the crazy time. Embry had sent her several messages. He was worried, but he missed her. He said it a few times. She looked around. The kids were mesmerized with the television. Bret hadn't come down the stairs but she swore she heard him moving around in their room. She replied quickly and said she was fine and she missed him too.
Maybe ten minutes passed before Bret joined the kids on the couch. He watched the rest of the program with them, laughing and cutting up like everything was perfect. Bella reheated his food and took it to him. She intended to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.
"Come on Momma, sit and watch the rest. You love this one...it's funny and it's almost over." Bret ate his dinner, the kids chattered back and forth about what the characters were doing on the show. She sat there in the midst of it, but her thoughts were somewhere else. She was replaying the previous night's events in her mind and she honestly could hardly wait to be back there.
The weeks drifted by. Anison did fine through her procedure. She was hardly even grumpy for one afternoon. Bret went to a meeting almost every night. Brad drove him each time and sat in the parking lot to make sure he went in and stayed the whole time. She actually helped fine tune his resume and watched him send out at least twenty job applications. All the birthday party plans had been finalized and life was going on smoothly for anyone that was looking from the outside in. She moved to the guest room permanently the night of the altercation. He said he understood. Sometimes he tried to get back in her good graces, but it never worked. She would not invite him to her bed and she was definitely not going back to the one they used to share.
"I get it. I have to earn back your trust. I'll do it. I swear I will, Bella. Don't give up on us." That was something she heard on a regular basis. Not another soul knew, what was really happening. Bella tried to hold the family together for the sake of the children. She somehow thought getting Connor started with Kindergarten was necessary and then she planned to see a lawyer. Embry had urged her not to put him in the private school the Harringtons were paying for. He wanted her to bring him to the reservation school so he wouldn't have to change once she left the marriage. She was considered a member of the tribe for life because of her marriage to Jacob.
She had mastered the double life in just a few weeks. Bret still thought there was hope for them and it seemed to be working for him. He swore he hadn't gambled since that night. She believed him and truly wanted him to be well, but her feelings had changed. She was in and out of Embry's as much as time would allow. Early mornings on the days she didn't have the kids, private lunches whenever possible and even a few sneaky rendezvous when she visited La Push. They were involved in a full fledged affair. She knew it was morally wrong, but once they started back, she couldn't stop.
Lunches often started out with her letting herself into his loft with the key he provided. She put the bag of food on the bar. He tried to sneak a peak but she didn't have a lot of time or her absence would be discovered. She slapped his hand away. She had gone from learning to let certain parts lie completely dormant to being a sex starved maniac. She couldn't look at him too long without wanting to strip him naked and climb up his body. Embry tapped those previously suspended desires and unleashed them. She literally throbbed for him night and day. It was damn distracting.
"Hey, I'm hungry," he pretended to complain.
"First things first," Bella grabbed at his belt and started to unfasten his pants. They both had other needs that were higher than physical hunger. She dropped to her knees in front of him to find he was already anticipating what was next as soon as he heard the turn of her key. He tried to pull her into the bedroom but she was trying her best to make him a very happy boyfriend. Embry eventually made her stop.
"Bed...I have to be inside you now." She did her own version of growling as he hoisted her up and threw her over his shoulder. They made the most of the time they had left. She couldn't believe how good it was between them. Each subsequent time was even better. How was that possible? She was lucky he worked for himself, and could juggle his schedule to be with her anytime.
"I love you." He told her every time.
She knew it was true and it was the only thing that got her through most days. What he did for her body was damned amazing. What he did for her spirit gave her strength she didn't know she even possessed. Afterwards, she'd spend her last ten minutes quickly feeding food to him before she had to leave again.
His requests were always similar. "Stay longer, come back this afternoon. When can you spend an evening with me?" She did her best, but she worried that her routine already had drastically altered and that someone was sure to notice.
She promised each and every time, "It's not for much longer. I swear it's not forever. I'll be free soon."
Bella often called herself a hypocrite when she looked into the mirror, but every time, she heard from Embry, she hardly cared. She'd run to him whenever the chance presented itself. He swore he wouldn't tell anyone. He reminded her of the old days, when he felt mistrust from the pack. He knew how to protect his thoughts. She was confident that she could make it work a little while longer. In her mind, she thought if she saw Bret through his recovery, then he could remain a constant for the children and that it would be enough to keep him going. He would have to understand that too much had occurred between them and that she couldn't move past it.
She'd created an imaginary world for herself where she was wife, mother, bakery owner, but also Embry's lover. She dreamed all her roles could coexist for as long as she needed them to, but one afternoon reality slapped her hard in the face. Her world was about to crumble.
"Bella, hun...open up. What's wrong? Is it Bret? Please, don't tell me you caught him again." Emily begged for her to come out. She'd been locked in their office restroom for a good thirty minutes. She switched between moments of absolute silence and loud sobbing.
She finally unlocked the door. She had to confess her situation to one person or she would surely explode. Emily stepped inside and saw Bella sitting on the little bench seat they had in there, since they often changed clothes or had a shower after work. Emily's eyes were glued to what she held in her hand. The two women exchanged glances. Emily's head moved slowly side to side in disbelief while Bella's moved up and down as confirmation.
~Thanks for reading.
I'll just sit back and wait to hear all your thoughts.
