Hey Guys! Okay so I tried something a little risky in this chapter but I worked super hard on it! So basically I was thinking along the lines of like on a TV show how it switches back and forth between a conversation with two characters but they are basically saying the same stuff. It will make sense once you read it. Just remember Bold and Italicized is Bee, Just italicized is Jordi, and underlined is the both of them. I hope this chapter isn't too confusing but if it is I'm apologizing in advance, this is the only way I could think to write the scene the way I wanted. Explanation over, start reading!


I let the breeze drift through my hair and watch the stream ripple in front of me. It's a nice day considering it's December, I remember back in Ohio how it would always be cold and slushy during this time of year. The weather change was one of my favorite things when we moved to Cali.

"You must be stressed." I turn to see Jordi behind me.

"You must be too." I comment acknowledging the guitar that's slung over his shoulder.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks

"You first." I reply.

"I have to start another round of chemo in a few days. My social worker is giving me Hell about it because I don't have a guardian to sign off. The first time around my mom just happened to pop in for a visit and was able to sign off. Now that's she's disappeared again I need to find another way to get my treatments approved." I nod in response and look back out at the water. "Now what about you?" He asks sliding his guitar off his shoulder and taking a seat by me.

"I had another meeting with Dr. Heart today." I say quietly.

"I take it that it didn't go too well." I shake my head.

"Nope."

"I'm here to talk if you want." Jordi offers after a moment of silence.

"I don't think I want to talk about the meeting but I'll talk about something else." I say

"Okay, shoot." He tells me. I quickly turn around to face him.

"You would not believe what's happening today." I exclaim taking on that tone I always do when I start to gossip.

"What?" Jordi chuckles.

"They're giving me a roommate!" I exasperate.

"You're kidding!" Jordi cries.

"No! I'm like completely kicked out of my room because she needs to do some 'redecorating' or something." I declare. "What am I even supposed to do until then?" Jordi gives me a shy smile.

"We could just hang out." He says quietly scooting over a little closer. My heart begins to flutter and I begin to think about how sweet it was of him to come down and check on me. He's taken care of me ever since I got here and especially on Christmas he was so cute! He actually wanted to hang out with me, and kiss me. My cheeks start to blush at just them memory.

"I was kind of hoping the same thing." I smile. We lock eyes for a moment and my heart changes from skipping every few beats to completely stopped. Slowly Jordi leans forward and I feel myself doing the same. It isn't long until our lips connect. His hands find my face and I intertwine mine in his hair. His kiss is soft, just meeting mine but I've kissed a lot of boys in my days and I move the process along. It's totally steamy up in this streamy. Oh man, I'm turning into my mother and her awful jokes. This thought hits me like a brick and my heart takes on a heavy feeling, returning me to reality.

"Jordi," I mumble pulling way. "I'm sorry. I just can't do this. I was out of line kissing you. I'm not ready to commit to anyone, I can't even commit to myself. I just don't want to drag you into this mess of mine and end up hurting you if, something happens." Jordi's expression falls.

"I'm sorry Bee." He apologizes. "God I feel like such an idiot."

"Don't, if it were under different circumstances I would be all over you." I laugh before taking on a more serious tone. "It's just, I don't know what I'm capable of anymore. I don't want to get close to anyone I guess in case something does happen."

"Bee don't talk like that." Jordi pleads reaching out to stroke my face gently. I turn away from his gesture even though all I want to do is pull into another kiss.

"I should go." I mumble getting up. "It was nice talking Jordi." I drag myself back up the trail to the hospital.

Time skip

"Leo, man. You got a sec?" I ask walking into our room.

"Sure thing Jordi." He replies. I take a seat on my bed and place my head in my hands.

"I messed up big time."

"What do you mean you messed up Bee?" Emma asks me.

"I let my feelings get too far ahead of me and I just messed up." I shrug.

"What happen?" She inquires.

"I kissed Bee." I moan.

"You kissed Jordi?" Emma shrieks. "That's awesome! Was he good?"

"That's beside the point, I mean yeah she was a pretty good kisser but that's not what's bothering me." I tell Leo.

"Okay, what's up then? You kissed this girl you've been liking since she got here and there's a problem?"

"I wasn't ready." I declare. "I'm not ready." I correct myself. Emma gives me a weird look.

"What do you mean? You finally kissed the guy you've been pawning over like the past week and you're saying you're not ready?"

"She said she doesn't want to hurt me. She said she doesn't want to get close to anyone because she doesn't know what she's capable of anymore." I explain.

"So, she's basically said that she doesn't want to hook up with you because she doesn't know if she's going to try to commit suicide again?" Leo asks.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds about right. I mean I think its more of I need to get better before I get involved with anyone." I murmur in reply to Emma.

"Bee, that is absolutely stupid. You're passing up this awesome guy because you don't want it to get in the way of you getting better! Besides, last time I checked you could care less about all of your counseling and therapy." My heart seizes at this, I guess, obvious fact.

"Alright Jordi, so this isn't as bad of a situation as you think it is." Leo tells me after pondering for a moment.

"It's not?" I ask

"Nope." Emma continues. "I once read somewhere that human interaction is the best type of medicine for a wounded soul. I also know that love is the most powerful thing on earth. Put those two together and I think you might have solution to your problem."

"Not at all." Leo answers. "To me this looks like you're classic damsel in distress story. She just needs her prince charming to come sweep her off her feet."

"It's not that easy."

"It really is Bee. I say you give it another chance." Emma explains.

"What if I make a complete fool of myself? What if she doesn't even want to talk to me again."

"Now you're just being dramatic Jordi." Leo laughs.

"I just walked away though!" I cry. "I seriously just let him sitting there by the stream, probably feeling awful. What am I supposed to do? Just go straight up to him and be like 'Hey, I know I'm unstable and super messed up but I'm kind of hoping you're as into me as I am into you?'"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect." Emma laughs.

"I'm serious Leo!" I exclaim. "I've never been good at fixing awkward situations, normally I just make them worse."

"Jordi, you just need to grow a pair and go talk to her! I'm sure she won't be upset, don't tell Bee but Emma always tells me how much she likes you. I'm pretty sure they are off talking about it right now."

"Lovely." I moan.

"Well maybe this is the perfect opportunity." Emma grins.

"Oh no. We are not going down there." I tell Leo.

"Oh yes we are!" Emma cries taking my hand and pulling me out of her room towards Leo and Jordi's.


Did it work? I hope you all understood this chapter okay! Again if you just need a quick reminder Bold and Italicized is Bee, Just italicized is Jordi, and underlined is the both of them. That's about it! Don't forget to check back soon for more updates, I have a few chapters prewritten so it's just a matter of finding time to post them. Also I'm almost done with my first Character Profile which is on Bee! I'll be posting this soon also or I will include a link if I can find a way to put it online somewhere. I hope you all are having an amazing break! Lots of Love - Britt