Note: I do not own Friday Night Lights or Sparks by Coldplay
Chapter Twelve
My heart is yours
It's you that I hold on to
That's what I do
I know I was wrong
I won't let you down
The room was completely dark. All I could see was the faint moonlight that shone through the crack in the curtains that covered the small window. I was rolled on my side, my head against the pillow and my half-curled body covered by blankets. It was my little bubble of desperate comfort when sadness consumed me. Tears streamed across my face from the angle I was laying. I could feel them get cold as they ran down my neck and eventually dry when I didn't wipe them away. The only thing I was thinking was that I needed him. I missed seeing and looking into his blue eyes when I thought I couldn't get through the day, and holding his hand while we walked to lunch, and how big his smile got after I pulled back from a kiss. I really, really hoped he missed me as much as I missed him. I just couldn't let him go.
My head turned to look at the digital clock that sat on the night table next to my bed. It was the only other source of light besides the small ray that shown across the floor from the night sky. 1:30AM. I sniffled and wiped the fresh tears off my face, sitting up in bed. Holding back more tears, I covered my face and shook my head. Stop. Crying. I took a deep breath and got up, walking to the door and opening it as quiet as I could. My dad was a light sleeper, and he'd be up in three and a half hours, plus I didn't feel like talking to him.
I moved slowly down the hallway past his room to get to the kitchen. I was kind of hungry, since I didn't eat much for dinner. Peanut butter and jelly sounded good enough. I got out all the ingredients, a plate, and some utensils to start making it in silence. I absentmindedly started putting it together and when I was finished I leaned against the counter and stared wistfully into space as I tore pieces off my meal.
"You're up late," I heard a deep voice say to my right.
I jumped and the sandwich almost fell out of my hands. Turning to glance at the figure next to me, I rolled my eyes when I saw my dad. "Yeah. I know."
"Hungry?" he asked, going to a cupboard and grabbing a glass, then filling it with water for a drink.
I nodded and took off another small piece from the sandwich. "A little," I muttered as I placed it in my mouth.
"You should've eaten more." He rubbed his eyes and finished his drink before putting it in the sink and leaning against the counter, folding his arms.
I swallowed the lump in my throat that had formed and tried to finish my last bite of food. Without any warning at all, tears started coming to my eyes and I turned my back to him, picking up everything and putting it back quickly, then throwing my half-eaten sandwich away.
I felt his eyes on me and grabbed a glass from the cupboard to wash down what I had eaten. "Aubrey?" he asked in a low voice.
I cleared my throat and answered before taking a sip of water. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry I was being so hard on you."
I shrugged and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wiped it quickly, knowing he must have seen, and finished my drink before setting it in the sink and walking toward my room.
"You can stay home the rest of the week," he said as he watched me walk away.
I stopped where I was and turned back to walk into the kitchen, stopping in the entrance. "Are you being serious?"
He looked over at me and nodded. "Would I joke about that?"
"No… at least, I don't think you would."
He rubbed his chin and thought before speaking again. "I think you're havin' a hard time, and you're stressed about a lot of things that are somewhat, emphasized by what happened. And I think you're responsible enough to make up all of your homework and everythin' you miss. So you can stay home the rest of the week."
I smiled and walked over to him, hugging him tight and closing my eyes. "Thank you, daddy."
He gave a small chuckle. "Haven't heard that in a while."
I stepped back and smiled at him. "…I'm sorry I said 'fuck you' earlier. I was really mad, and it was uncalled for."
He smiled and pulled me in for another tight embrace. "Don't worry about it, honey."
I tried to pull away but he kept his arms around me, hugging me tighter and tighter. "Dad… can't… breathe!" I said as I tried to catch my breath.
"Awe, I just love you so much!" he said with a laugh, letting go a moment later.
I took a deep, dramatic breath and smacked his arm playfully with a grin. "Goodnight." I started walking back to my room, my lips baring a small smile.
He laughed again and watched me walk out of the kitchen once again. "Have fun doing nothing tomorrow."
I laughed to myself and walked into my room where I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
…
The next morning I didn't wake up until… 11:13AM, according to my alarm clock next to me. I sat up quickly in bed after realizing I have over-slept by three hours, and then sighed with relief when I remembered what had happened earlier that morning. Now unable to go back to sleep, I got up and sauntered with heavy feet to the kitchen for breakfast. "Am I even hungry?" I asked myself with a small groan when I felt the hint of nausea my stomach gave off.
I then realized that being home by myself for the next two days wouldn't be so easy after all. What was I supposed to do? Go shopping? Shopping was a chore in itself, why would I want to do that? A couple ideas were swimming through my head but… I really didn't want to give in to them. They sounded really tempting. But shouldn't he come to me? I shook my head and walked to the bathroom.
Drops of water ran down my legs as I walked to my room in the large maroon towel I had wrapped around myself. Locking the door behind me, I walked to my closet and picked out the clothes I would wear for the day and played with my hair, wondering what do with it after I was dressed. After staring into the mirror thoughtfully a familiar buzzing noise sounded from behind me. Walking over to it, I picked up my phone and read the text message I'd received a moment earlier.
"I have no idea what's going on." It was from Mike and I looked at the clock. I could envision him sitting in our Algebra 2 class and not understanding a word our teacher is saying.
"Maybe you should stop texting me and pay attention!" I replied, smiling down at my phone like an idiot.
I walked back over to the mirror and looking at my hair again. Before I could set the phone down it buzzed again. "Maybe you shouldn't be playing hooky."
I smirked. "Sorry, I didn't know I was obligated to be there." I set my phone down and grabbed the leave-in conditioner that sat a couple inches away. I sprayed it into my hands and rubbed it evenly through my hair, leaving my auburn locks wavy as well as shiny.
It buzzed again and I rolled my eyes. "I'll just have to suffer."
I smiled again and texted back one last time. "See you Monday! :)"
Setting my phone down again and slipping on my black Classics, I looked into the mirror one more time. My hair was down, falling over my shoulders like a river of brown tresses, wavy, and the slightest form of effortlessly messy. I looked at my black and white fitted Led Zeppelin t-shirt then down at my light blue cut-off jeans that stopped at my mid thigh. The perfect outfit for a Texas heated, fall seasoned day.
Another message appeared on the screen and I read it before sliding the Blackberry into my pocket. "Monday? Okay, see ya."
My bag hung on the post of my bed and I slung it over my shoulder as I walked out the door. I knew Don was the stubborn type, and after I told him I didn't want to see him… or be around him… or even hear his name, I figured he was going to stay away from me because that's what he thought I wanted, no matter how much it hurt. Yeah, I felt like I was being weak and stupid for giving in to the temptation of finding him and telling him that I was sorry, even though he was the one who needed to apologize… even though he already had. I was the one who needed to set things straight, and tell him that I didn't mean anything I said. I just couldn't stand being without him any longer. I don't know what it was. It's going to sound extremely cheesy and probably really cliché, but it was like something was pulling me toward him.
I locked the front door behind me, knowing I might be gone for a while. I knew exactly where he was… well, I had an idea, I wasn't sure if he was actually there. But I was confident with my assumption. When I got in the car and started to drive I didn't put on any music. I drove in silence, thinking about what I was doing and what I would say if I found him there. Shit. I hadn't thought about this beforehand. Dammit. Butterflies started filling my stomach as I searched for what so say, or how to even say it. I'm such an idiot.
After driving and continuing to fight the nervousness and anxiety I felt, I parked beside the road and looked out at the desert land in front of me. A small black spot appeared, almost masked by the heat waves that came up from the ground, moving up toward the heavens. I took a deep breath and leaned my head back against the headrest. Go. Just friggin do it, Aubrey. Without another moment of thinking I got out quickly and started walking toward the blurry black dot I saw in the distance.
The sun was hot and I felt the heat of the ground seep through the rubber soles of my sneakers as I walked. Sweat soon left little beads on my brow and forehead as well as the back of my neck. I soon found myself putting my hair in a bun to try and cool down. My eyes, once focusing on the ground in front of me, shifted to the scene that my feet had led me to.
A black truck sat sideways, pointing south. I couldn't see him yet, and for a moment I wondered if he was even there at all. My question was answered when he stood up, everything above his waist suddenly appearing from behind the body of the truck. It took my off-guard and I gasped, taking half a step back and swallowing the lump in my throat. Apparently being a ninja wasn't something I would be good at if I were to pick it as a profession.
He glanced at me and did a double-take before his gaze stayed on me, making him freeze like he'd seen a ghost.
I took another deep breath and took a step toward him, opening my mouth to say something.
"Aubrey?" he asked softly, almost as if he were asking himself, possibly thinking the heat was playing tricks on him.
"You're not hallucinating. I'm actually here," I said, clasping my hands together in front of myself nervously. I walked slowly around the truck and stayed a couple feet away from where he was. I eyed his little campsite; a fire pit, a cooler, and a log to sit on was all that I found.
He swallowed nervously and cleared his throat, watching me as I looked over his hideout. "Okay…" He opened the door to his truck and grabbed his old maroon baseball cap, putting it on to shield his eyes from the sun.
"So… you've been hiding out here?" I kicked a rock gently with the tip of my sneaker and watched as it hit the log a couple feet away.
"Yeah."
My gaze shifted to him. His eyes were red and blood shot, probably from drinking and maybe crying, and the clothes he wore were surprisingly, different from what he wore on Monday. "Don… I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean to say those things to you. I've been really down about everything that happened for the past couple days. I knew you'd be here… I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here but I just thought I'd come to just… I don't know. Apologize? I thought I'd lost you, and I didn't like the feeling. At all."
He stared at the ground as he listened, slid his hands into his pockets, then looked up at me when I was finished. "I forgive you."
I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and tried to hide the fact that I would probably start crying at any moment. "Okay… well… I forgive you too."
He moved to sit on the log and I watched him as he reached into the cooler and took out a beer. Cracking it open, he wiped the sweat off his brow before taking a swig and looking past me out at the earth and dirt that went on for miles. "Wanna know what I've been doing out here?" he asked, his eyes meeting mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat and he continued. "I've been getting drunk, feeling sorry for myself because I'm, once again, a big, stupid, piece of shit fuck up, who can't seem to do anything right in his life but maybe…" He shrugged. "…run a few good plays and catch a ball every once in a while." He took another gulp of his beer and his eyes moved to the fire pit in front of him. "I missed you so much, Aubrey."
A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away, sniffling softly as I listened.
"I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life about someone I care about," he admitted in a low voice.
"Donnie… I just want this to be over."
He looked up at me and stood up, finishing the can of beer and crumpling it up before opening his hand and letting it fall to the ground. "I didn't mean to kiss Ann. I swear on my life and everything I have."
I nodded. "I know you didn't."
"We're supposed to be with each other."
I smiled with tears still in my eyes and he returned it, walking toward me as I walked toward him. We came together in a tight embrace and I closed my eyes, suddenly remembering how good it felt to be in his arms. "Thank God," I said with a sigh of relief and a small laugh. "Let's not do that again."
"I would never," he said as we still held each other.
I smiled and took a deep breath to clear my tears, feeling comforted with his arms around me. "Don, don't take this the wrong way… but you smell… really bad."
He laughed. "Awe, but you love it!" He held me tighter, rubbing up against me to try and get some of his stink on me.
I pushed him away quickly and wrinkled my nose with a laugh. "EW. YOU'RE DISGUSTING."
He laughed again and grinned down at me. "Ah, it's nice to have you back, Stinker."
"You too, stinky," I grinned back.
"This is how I smell after football practice."
"That's rank, dude." I laughed and smiled up at him.
Don smiled down at me. "You're so nice to me."
I smirked and nudged his arm. "Let's get out of here."
"Agreed." He gave a small smile and we both started to load everything into the back of his truck.
…
"So… do you even want to talk about what happened?" Don asked me after we got into his truck from loading everything.
"Sure…" I said, dragging out the word and looking over at him.
"Well, it's just kind of weird how we're already back together without even talking about anything."
"And that's a bad thing?"
He glanced at me. "No. I mean, it's weird, but I'm glad that we're back together."
"Being back together is… weird?" I asked, moving my legs to sit cross-legged in my seat and keeping my eyes on the land in front of me.
Don sighed lightly. "Come on, you know what I meant."
"Alright then," I looked at him and showed a small smile, "Let's talk about it."
"Okay…" Don said, soon stopping just a couple feet away from my car but keeping the engine running for the AC. "Ann kissed me."
"I know, you told me."
He looked at me and then looked down at his hands. "It will never, ever happen again," he looked up and our eyes met, "I promise."
I smiled. "I believe you."
Don grinned and scooted closer to me, putting one arm across my shoulders. "I think we just covered everything we just talked about."
I laughed softly. "Yeah I think we did."
Don smiled and looked out the windshield thoughtfully.
"Baby, I'd hate to ruin the moment… but you still smell."
"Oh," Don laughed, taking his arm off my shoulders and scooting back to the driver's seat, "My bad."
I grinned at him. "You can take a shower at my house so you don't have to go home."
Don nodded. "Sounds good, I've got a change of clothes in the back."
"See you soon then," I smiled and got out to walk to my car. After getting in I started down the highway toward my house with Don following behind me. I sighed with relief, thinking about what had just happened. Maybe we really were meant to be together, because if you love someone, you don't care about what they've done to you, you need them no matter what. Of course, we hadn't said 'I love you' to one another yet, but I knew it would happen. I trusted him and I knew he was glad that I did.
I pulled into the driveway and Don parked along the curb and snatched his change of clothes from the back and before heading inside with me. "My dad isn't home," I said, shutting the door after he entered.
He looked around casually then turned to look at me and smiled. "I know where the bathroom is, so I'll be back in a minute."
"My brothers shampoo is still in there I think. You can use that," I said as I followed him down the hallway.
He walked into the bathroom and I started for my room. "Thanks, babe," he answered before shutting the door.
"No problem."
Thank you for reading, reviews and critiques would be really helpful if you see anything that needs to be improved :)
