A little bit of badness
The hunting trip was horrible. My parents didn't hunt, they just watched me with worried expressions. I wasn't myself chasing after the innocent animals and killing them one after the other. And when I was finished I couldn't remember a thing except for the sickening rusty taste of blood in my mouth. I felt a little dizzy and full. Although still exhausted, I was better. The hunger didn't hurt anymore.
By the time I was home I was so ashamed of myself I couldn't look my parents in the eyes. They sat by the Dining table worried. 'Honey we're worried about you. You seem to need more and more blood and every time we see you you seem more exhausted and vulnerable. It might be the fact that you're gaining in powers but I don't think so. We can't do nothing but we just want you to be careful. Yesterday, with that boy, you were too close. We know how you feel about him and we are really happy for you but we cannot let you hurt him. Just keep your distance.' Said dad calmly.
His face was composed but moms showed all her emotions. Sadness, worry, anger, shame and pain. None of it touched her eyes though. The only emotion I could see in her eyes was love. The love I didn't deserve, either from her nor from Daniel. I nodded to both of them repeatedly, sitting on the mahogany chair trying to fight back the tears. A huge lump was forming on the back of my throat and I knew I wouldn't be able to speak so I just stalked back to my room collapsing back on the bed in tears.
I couldn't even think about what could happen yesterday. I've been the whole night out hunting and the hunger was finally gone. But instead of hunger other kind of pain came in. Shame. Shame in what I was, what I'd done and what I could have done.
Tears trickled down my cheeks. My heart sank, I could no longer hide it. I cried through the whole day and cried myself to sleep. Sleep didn't ease the pain a little bit as the nightmares I dreaded came, appearing even worse than the last time.
I woke up fighting the scream at the back of my throat. I realised it was just a stupid dream and collapsed back on pillow crying. I was weak and spineless. Not very good features for a hunter. I was useless.
I looked out of the window at the sky above me. It was the middle of the night and the moon was beautiful. Not beautiful enough to make me happy though. I was never going to be happy, that was my fate.
I was exhausted but it didn't matter how much I slept, sleep didn't help much anymore, it only brought nightmares back. The Halloween break was starting tomorrow so at least I didn't have to go to school. That would've shredded my will.
I could barely stand Daniel and the thought of hundreds of students passing by me not knowing the danger they were all in was sickening. I sat on the window sill staring at the moon with awe. I wasn't going to go back to sleep. It was impossible.
I was scared of what would happen in the next dream. I was scared of what would happen to me tomorrow. Another terrifying power? Even more blood and hunger? I sniffed bitterly at the thought. What could be more painful than loving a person and hurting him at the same time? What could be more painful than loving someone and not being able to be with him ? Nothing.
The morning came slowly. I got dressed and walked downstairs quietly just to find my parents already there. They didn't sleep either. Sometimes I felt like they were living my life instead of their own happy lives. I was a big burden on them, making every day of their never-ending existence a misery.
But what could I do? Kill myself? If only it had been that easy. I looked down at the breakfast my mom made me. I ate it out of politeness, I wasn't hungry. Nobody spoke, the atmosphere was tense. I thanked my mom for the breakfast and decided to go for a little walk. Fresh air would do me some good, I thought but I knew it wouldn't help a bit.
I got a few texts from Daniel but never checked to see what they said. I could check when she was back after all. I walked slowly down the street with my eyes on the road. Finally he called.
'Lilly why are not answering my texts? I'm sick worried over you are you crazy?' At least he cared what happened to me. The thought was a little comforting and sent a wave of warmth inside me. 'I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood.' I answered blankly.
'Oh so you don't answer my texts because you don't fell like it and I'm here near a heart attack thinking something bad happened! Very smart. Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could for a walk before night?' He said, amusement in his voice. 'I'm already on a walk and I already said I'm in no mood for another one.' I replied sharply.
'Please, for me. Don't make me miserable and say yes. ' Finally after a long insisting ritual I agreed. I was just trying to protect him. I didn't want him to get hurt. Was this too much to ask? Apparently yes.
I walked back home my eyes on the ground. I slept through the rest of the day waiting for Daniel. I didn't dream this time and I was really grateful to that. Daniel came with a huge bouquet of crimson red roses. I smiled at him happily and he gave me a little hug. I took the roses hesitantly and went to put them away.
We walked and talked for ages but I didn't let him get too close to me. Not this time. This time I was going to take all the precautions I could. By the time we were about to head back I realised it was pitch black and we were in some woods I didn't know.
It was cold and I couldn't see the moon or the stars. Daniel tensed a little and I shivered. He moved a little closer to me and stopped. I sensed something behind us. I heard a broken twig a few meters away but it was impossible for him to hear it.
After all he was only a human but still he seemed to sense something too. I backed away a little but Daniel didn't move. I really didn't want to use my powers. This time a branch above us broke and I was sure that someone else had done it.
It had fallen a few inches away from me as if it was aimed at me. There was a long silence followed by someone else's shallow breathing. I closed my eyes, this was just another one of those terrifying nightmares I thought to myself.
But it wasn't. Something grabbed my hand and there was a long snarl behind me. My head was spinning, there was a sudden lightening another snarl and a growl and the creature backed away.
I looked at Daniel in confusion. He just stood there calmly as if nothing happened. I couldn't say a word. I never intended to use my powers but the change in weather was so sudden I suspected it was me. There was a huge thunder and I couldn't hear nothing but the wind. I felt Daniel's hand grab mine and we ran away from the woods. To my relief Daniel knew some shortcut and just a few minutes later we were back near the gloomy street.
