Mixed feelings on what Edward did. Don't lose faith in him just yet…xo

E POV

I watch as the blood drains from Bella's beautiful face a second before she turns and runs down the passage and my heart stops beating for a few seconds.

I try and will myself to give her some space to process everything I've told her thus far but then I hear her choking sounds coming from the bathroom and I follow her.

I find her on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet on her knees, involuntary heaves attacking her small frame as she desperately tries to gasp for air in between. Her hands are grasping the side of the seat and I kneel down next to her, taking her hair in my hands and keeping it away from her face. She tries once or twice to shove me away but there's no fucking way I can leave her like this.

Eventually it stops and she seems exhausted as she lays her red cheek on the seat, her eyes closed as she evens out her breathing.

"I'm okay," she whispers croakily after a few minutes and I help her up. "Just…I need to brush my teeth," she says as she turns her back on me and I linger in the background as she does just that.

Fuck, I'm lost. Right now I'm so fucking lost because I don't know what's going on inside of her and just the thought of losing her sends tremor after terrifying tremor surging through my body.

She turns back to me and hops up, sitting on the counter as she regards me with a small frown between her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says shakily.

What? Why the fuck are you apologizing?

"Please, I need to know the rest," she says softly, her eyes never leaving mine.

And fuck, if my heart doesn't skip a beat because she hasn't left me yet.

"I was pissed as hell," I continue as I lean back against the cold tiled wall. "More at myself than anyone else. I realized why my father had not thought me fit to take over at that time. I was naïve and too gullible. I should have asked more questions, demanded to see exactly where the money was coming from…things like that. But fuck, I trusted her. She laid it out on the table that night. If I left, she would expose me. And there's just no way to argue that, Bella. I signed off on the transfer. It was my signature, no one else's. It was all about the money to her. Marrying me put her in a very lavish position and she knew with my father out of the way it would only get better. I realized for the first time since I got married that my wife had never loved me. She confessed to her affair and that it had been going on since before we were married. You think you know someone…"

I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. It suddenly feels like it happened yesterday, fresh and vivid in my mind. I startle slightly when I feel Bella's hand on my cheek and I look down at her. Fuck, she's so fucking beautiful…inside and out. I don't deserve her yet she's still here after everything I've told her.

"Tell me you returned the money," she pleads as a tear runs down her cheek. "Please…I need to hear you say it…"

I wipe the tear from her cheek and pull her closer. "Every single fucking cent…with a hell of a lot of interest," I vow. "I went through our financial records and found the investment account numbers. I sold off some assets, including two houses in Europe. I fixed it as soon as I found out."

She lets out a breath I didn't know she was holding. Relief floods her flushed skin. She sags forward in my arms, literally melting into me.

"That's all I wanted to hear," she breathes against my chest and I hold her to me so fucking tight I think I might break her.

"How can you still love me after all of that?" I murmur into her hair.

She looks up at me with those warm brown eyes of hers and smiles a sad as fuck smile. "I'm not going to lie and say this doesn't bother me at all, Edward. What you did was wrong on so many levels. Even if you didn't know exactly where the money was coming from, you should have known better. But…the most important thing is you fixed it as soon as you found out. Making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person. How we proceed after our mistakes is what defines us."

I look at her in absolute reverence. There's no way she's fucking real. Yet, she is…and for some or other fucked up reason she loves me.

She frowns suddenly, deep in thought for a moment before she speaks.

"If you paid the money back, what hold does she still have on you?"

"They still have the original paperwork, Bella. The documents with my signature on allowing the transfer to take place. It doesn't matter that I put the money back; it was fraud, end of story. If it leaks I could get arrested. And she damn well reminds me of that fact very fucking often."

A look of pure horror flashes in her eyes and her hands grip onto me painfully tight.

"But…it's not that," I say as I trace soothing circles on her back. "Fuck, if it was only that, I'd gladly pay the price for what I'd done and if it means spending time in a cell, I'll do it. It's my father, Bella. I…he's so fucking proud of me and I feel sick to my soul every time he voices those words. Yes, since that moment I've rightfully earned and worked fucking hard for where I am today, but for him to know I cheated my way into the position he thought I wasn't ready for? It'll break his heart. And Tanya knows this. She knows I'll do anything to protect my family."

"So…where does that leave us now?" she asks in a small voice.

"I've made the decision, Bella. I'm not backing out. I can't…you're so fucking important to me. I need you with me…always. Even if it means telling my dad what happened. And…I need you there with me when I do it."

Her eyes widen a bit at that. "Do you think that's a good idea, Edward? I mean, don't you think it's enough telling them what happened without adding the extra bomb of our affair to it?"

I smile down at her before kissing her softly, her lips still minty from brushing her teeth.

"I told you, once I come clean; I'm not hiding you anymore. Publically I think we should hold off until my divorce is finalized, but where my family is concerned, I won't pretend you're not the reason for me to right my wrongs."

"You're so brave," she whispers as she kisses my neck softly. "So very brave."

I snort at her misplaced worship of me. "Hardly."

"Oh, but you are, Edward. What matters is that you're fixing this now. You could have opted to live the rest of your life with this burden but you've chosen to come clean, to admit your mistakes to your father. You're stronger than you think…and I love you more than you will ever know."

I search her eyes for some form of disappointment…anything, yet I find none. Her words are honest and from her heart and fuck, right now, in this moment, the love I feel for her is threatening to kill me fucking slowly.

"I love you so fucking much," I whisper just before I kiss her below her ear. I smile as her breath catches when I swirl my tongue along her jaw towards her mouth. "Let me show you…please, let me make love to you."

Her tongue darting out to meet mine is all the answer she has to give me and fuck, do I take advantage of that. And I show her just how much I love her over and over throughout the day and into the night. It feels different for me and I can sense it does for her too.

I've confessed my sins, I am hell bent on talking to my parents and getting out of my marriage and I damn well can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Bella by my side. There's a certain freeing quality with that knowledge.

It's almost midnight and we've just gotten into bed after a shower when we both lift our heads at the sound of an approaching car.

"Expecting anyone?" Bella asks all sleepy and cute as she snuggles her head into her pillow.

"No," I say frowning as the car stops in front of the house and switches off. I get up and pull sweatpants from my cupboard just as a loud knock echoes through the darkness and Bella sits up immediately and pulls my shirt over her head. She wants to get up, but I shake my head at her.

"Stay," I warn as I head towards the front door and Bella nods as she pulls the blanket higher up to her chin.

I'm half way down the passage when I hear her.

"Edward Cullen! You better open this fucking door right now before I kick it down!"

My heart does that stuttering thing again. I swear, I'm going to give myself a heart attack one of these fucking days.

"Now!" she shouts sounding pissed as hell.

Oh shit. This isn't good.

So, I'm not happy about what Edward did, but I think he's finally grown a pair of balls to fix things, which I'm happy about.

And really, who the hell shows up at someone's place at midnight?

Let me have your thoughts. Love them all!

xo