I do not own Twilight.
Sorry it's been so long since an up date, thank you for your patience it's been a crazy busy month. Please review it really means a lot to know your thoughts on this little story. Thank You. Hope all my american readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Also just a little head's up, there will be a lot of skipping around in this chapter, so I hope you can keep up. Enjoy.
Listen while you read:
"Black Night" : The Dodos
"Sidecar": Kathleen Edwards
"Lost Kid": The Apache Relay
"Gone": Sea of Bees
"Skeletons": Dale Ernhardt Jr. Jr.
"I Buried a Bone":Blind Pilot
"Cold Feet": Lost Lander
*****Chapter Twelve PART: ONE*****
"Really Swan? How is that thing even working still?"
"Hey, it might be first generation but it works just as well as the day I got it."
"I'm not really sure how." I grinned at her indulgently.
"C'mon Cullen do you have an auxiliary cord or what?"
Glancing at her sideways' I saw her dark eye's traveling around the interior of my car then settle on me expectantly.
"The glove compartment, and you know Bella I think people use their phones to store music on these days, so they don't have to carry so many devices." I said jokingly condescending voice to her.
"I know," she rolled her eye's "I guess I'm just to lazy for that."
"Hey you still haven't told me where we are going."
"Well," she stammered distractedly hooking up her Ipod to my car stereo,"that's because it's a surprise. Just head down town."
"Whatever you say." I nodded dramatically. "and by the way I thought about it and if we are going to get through both our lists we'll have to be careful how much time we spend at each place."
"Agreed!" She smiled resolutely, as a song with heavy drum beats began.
It had started to sprinkle and little droplets of water were gathering on the windshield, making a gentle tapping noise.
"Bella?" I asked " I have been wondering, how did you even find your job with James? I'm guessing it wasn't through an agency."
"No. It wasn't." she stared out the passenger's side window. " It was on Craigslist."
I blanched inwardly, and when I looked to her, she was waiting, a protective air already taking shape in her.
"That's so dangerous!" I blurted out, not thinking.
"Edward," she said my name gently yet self-possessed. "My dad is a cop. Remember? I've already had the entire lecture from him; he sort of freaked out when I told him, and then he yelled at me for 45 minutes about how unsafe it is to go to someones house that you met on the internet."
I made a move to speak but she hushed me with a raised hand. "I know it was dumb, and I won't do it again."
My mind was racing with all sorts of terrifying situations that could have had terrible out comes.
"I'm glad he yelled at you" I let out slightly panicked.
"What?" her eyebrow went up sharply.
" I'm glad he yelled you, what if something horrible had happened to you?" My voice broke a bit at the end and I swallowed feeling on edge and unable to meet her eye's.
"Well, it didn't, and like I said, I promised Charlie I would never do anything like that again."
My gaze flashed to her and I knew instantly that she could see worry etched on my face.
"Will you promise me too?" I asked hesitantly.
She didn't answer right away, instead she studied my face.
"If you want me too." came a small voice.
"I do."
"Okay. I promise."
Neither of us could look at each other as the music swelled and grew between us along with my desire to protect her. The closer she let me get to her the more I wanted to shield her from anything that could harm or hurt her.
"Take your next right." Bella let out eagerly.
"The Public Library?"
"Yep." She smiled, "I'm sure you've been here before."
"Yes," I answered "but never with you."
She blushed and turned her attention to her hands resting in her lap.
"So Swan, why is this a favorite place?"
She looked as if she were pondering a deep universal question, "I just love books." she answered simply.
"That's a pretty good reason." I smirked.
Once we were inside she made a straight path to the escalators and I followed a step behind intent on taking in every detail of her in a place she clearly felt comfortable.
"Isn't it just the most amazing building? All the natural light and the view?" she took a small breath," and all the books of course."
The purity in her enthusiasm was refreshing and it made her word's almost sound like a song.
"It's beautiful." I grinned from one corner of my mouth.
We stood in silence a moment drinking in the massive space with its giant glass ceiling made up of angles and slopes.
Leaning close to her ear I asked softly, "Where's your favorite spot?"
With a nod and a curve of her lips she led me deep into the fiction section and then began searching with her finger along the shelves for a particular book. Stopping abruptly when she found what she had been looking for; she bit her lip and pushed her dark hair over her shoulder. Gingerly she pulled out a book and lifted it from the shelf and placed it in my impatient hands.
"Sence and Sensibility?" I questioned. She nodded an embraced glow sweeping over her pink cheeks. "and this is your favorite spot?"
"It is, and that's my favorite book."
I inspected the cover and then began flipping through the pages reverently as if it were a first edition.
"and why is it your favorite Miss Swan?"
"Have you read it?"
"No, I haven't."
"That's to bad," she frowned. "It's such a relevant and heart-felt story that resonates even today I think. I guess I just identify with Eleanor so much, she is one of the main characters, I alway's have."
I made a note to my self to read this book as soon as possible.
"You know, " she was grinning, a sly and quiet light gleaming in her eyes, "there's actually a character named Edward in it."
I held the book out to her. "Oh well then he must be charming and extremely handsome, all Edwards are." I quipped.
"That remains to be seen." she breathed placing the treasured text back into its spot.
Turning and meeting my eye's she smiled delicately "Your turn."**********************************************************************************
"I've heard about this place." she let out excitedly. "I have always wanted to do this."
We stood at a vacant information desk waiting to get tickets for a tour of the Seattle Underground, and Bella was almost shaking with anticipation, her smile alive and beaming at me. I stared down at her sweet face a small grin forming on my lips.
Tactfully I reached my hand out and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, longing for any excuse to touch her.
"Well, I'm really glad then that I get to be the one to take you to do something you have always wanted to do."
She took in a breath, unable to tare her gaze away from mine, as I took a half step closer to her letting my fingers trail to the ends of her hair. For a moment it felt like time was slowing and my racing heart was all that was functioning inside my body, propelling me towards her.
"Good Morning!" a voice boomed cheerfully; startling both of us.
My hand slid down Bella's arm as I turned to face the tour attendant,
"Morning " I muttered slightly put out at what I viewed was his interruption. My hand began to fumble awkwardly in the air at my side as I realized two things: Bella had taken a step away from me, and I was searching for her hand. Embarrassment pooled inside me and I reproached my self for being out of control again. I cleared my throat and clinched my empty fist at my side.
"Two please."
"Wonderful. and will you be needing anything else?"
"No that's it, thanks."
I handed him my card even as I heard Bella start to search in her purse for what I assumed was he wallet.
"Hey," I put my hand softly on top of her's stilling her hunt. "How about we make a rule for today that we take turns? When it's my place I'll pay, and when its your's you'll pay."
She looked at my hand on top of her's and then glanced up at me with an uncertain expression.
"How about I pay for all of it."
"Nope." I smirked.
"My self then?" she slipped her hand away from my touch.
"Nice try Swan." I arched an eyebrow. "This is my final offer and it pains me to even give you this."
"Final offer?" she questioned leaning against the counter.
"Final offer. It's either this or I don't let you pay at all."
"Well if those are my only options."
"They are." I interrupted with confirmation.
She eyed me trying to gage my level of commitment then huffed "Fine. If that's the way it has to be."
"It does." I almost laughed.
Why did she have to make this such an issue? Couldn't she just let me take care of her a little? My mother would be so disappointed in me if she knew that I was letting Bella pay at all.
"Alright, your all set, the attendant handed me a receipt two stubs and a map. "The next tour will start in about 15 minutes."
"Thank you." Bella and I said in unison.
She blushed and looked at her feet.
"Feel free to browse around, there will be two dings at the gate when the next tour begins, enjoy."
I gave him a nod and then handed the map to Bella.
"So how many times have you done this?" she asked as we walked side by side to the underground entrance.
"Twice I think."
"And why is it a favorite Cullen?" she repeated my earlier question back to me.
"You'll see." I grinned.
"Not a good enough answer, sorry try again."
I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair, then rubbed the back of my neck, thinking.
"I like history. I like getting a glimps at where things started, where we've come from."
"Better." she nodded in approval.
There was a short wooden bench next to the entrance and I motioned for her to sit, then took a seat beside her our shoulders and thy's almost touching.
I didn't miss the half-inch she shifted away from me as she said in a wistful way "Tell me more about history?"
"In general or personally?" I joked.
She leaned forward placing an elbow on her knee then rested her head on her hand so that she could see my face, "Which ever you like."
She met my gaze, and my mind went blank. Damn her beautiful eye's! They took me in and made me stupid in the head.
She smiled gently waiting for me to speak and I went back to studying my hands.
"It's not just history, I love the obscurity of things that are falling apart. Things that people seem to have forgotten."
As I spoke I discovered my self putting thoughts and feeling into word's that I had never shared with anyone and I marveled at the way Bella just took it all in. She didn't feel the need to comment or ask a million questions, but I knew she was pondering every idea and detail that I shared. I was learning that she had a way of pulling things from me that I had forgotten or never realized were in me.
As we talked I noticed a few people milling and gathering around us at the entrance; all of us waiting for the tour to begin. The bell went off and I turned to Bella anticipation lingering in my grin, "Ready?"
There was a dank and musty smell as we walked down into a steep corridor to the original street level where Seattle had grown and built it self up from. A breeze whistled through the cracks and crags of the passage creating an unnatural sound and feeling. Bella spun her head back to me quickly and raised her brows in pleasure, the mystery and charm of this place already laying claim on her.
We had started in the Saloon and were now moving deeper into the three city blocks that made up the tour and I watched Bella hearing all the stories and explanations for the first time. It wasn't everyone who could appreciate this place and it made me grateful that clearly she was enjoying her self.
There was a bright light over head suddenly and she looked curiously from it to me and then back again.
"Is that?" she whispered to me pointing up.
"Yep, that's the city right over us."
I came to stand beside her and followed her gaze to bottle glass covered grate separating the two levels of the city.
"That's sort of amazing," she sighed. "All of those people up there shuffling and shoving around to get where they need to be; I bet they have never even stopped to notice or appreciate what's right bellow them."
My attention snapped to her my eyes narrowing in surprise.
"What?" she asked concern on her face.
I subdued my expression and shoved my hands in my pockets. "Nothing, it's just that's always what I think when I see this."
She took a step back and half smiled amusement flirting under the surface, before turning to catch up with the group.
When we were back in the car and on our way to the next place instead of putting on music Bella turned in her seat to face me and with a tentative tremor in her voice said, "Edward, thank you for taking me there. I really loved it."
"I'm glad, and you don't need to thank me."
"Who took you there your first time?"
"My dad. When i was about 11 I think."
I smiled at the memory, and it me that I would be able to share that place with my own son one day, just as my father had done with me.
"I would love to take Bree and Riley there," she stated pensively, "But Bree would say it's boring and Riley would probably get scared." She stopped a moment then grinned. "Has Noah been? I bet he would love it."
"No, I haven't taken him yet, and your right, he would love it." I hesitated and then added "maybe we can all go together again sometime."
It terrified me to voice what I was thinking, but I wanted her to know that if she wanted she would be a part of my future.
I glanced at her as I turned a corner; she was nibbling her bottom lip as I waited eagerly for a response from her.
"That might be nice." she finally let out.
Damn it! She was doing it again, pushing me away at the mere mention of my feelings towards her.
Reluctantly I pushed aside my desire to be reassured in my affections and smiled as we came to stop light and asked jovially "Your turn, where to now?"*******************************************************************************************************
"I love that this is one of your favorite places."
"Really?" she giggled, "Your not just totally grossed out?"
"Well, maybe a little."
We laughed together and then she reached inside her purse and pulled out two sticks of gum and handed me one.
"Are you ready to become a part of something very serious and march larger than your self Edward Cullen?"
I slipped the gum from its wrapper, "well it's a huge responsibility but, I think I am up for the task."
I popped the gum in my mouth and we both started chewing.
"Find us a special spot," she grinned.
"Yes ma'am."
"We should put our together since we came here together, that way we'll always know where to look and no matter what we'll remember today."
I glanced at her pointedly and despite the smile on her lips her eye's held a secret isolated sorrow.
Instead of asking her what she was thinking I merely affirmed, "I like the way you think Swan."
I set about my task of finding the best spot for our gum on the giant wall that loomed in front of us that had become a sort of canvas over the years. There were countless names, phrases, and pictures all formed together out of chewing gum from people who had made a pilgrimage here or simply passed by. One inscription read I miss you, while another spelled out Will you marry me Niki. There were I love you's and names of bands, even a portrait. None of them felt right for us though.
Until at last I happened upon something that stood out,something that said exactly what I was feeling; spelled out in bright green gum was the word JOY. It was ideal.
"I think I found a spot." I raised my voice to her.
When she saw it she smirked, "Joy hu?"
"It's either this or a head shot of Leonardo from Ninja Turtles. I'm really torn actually. It's in your hands Swan."
She gave me a strange look and tried not to laugh.
"Wow," she breathed "this is a tough choice."
She was quiet a moment as she scrutinized the neon colored word.
"Yeah, as much as I love Ninja Turtles, and don't get me wrong I love them a lot, I'm gonna go with joy."
"You choose wisely." I grinned.
She chuckled, actually getting my Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.
"So, I was thinking we put it inside the 'O'?"
"Yes. I like that."
When we had each stuck our gum to the wall we stood back to admire our contribution, and I heard her take something else from her bag and open it.
"Want some?" she was holding up a bottle of hand sanitizer.
"Thank you." I stretched out my hands to her.
"I love to come here because it reminds me that the world is smaller than i think, and some how knowing that all these people have come to this place, it make's me..." she trailed off softly, turning her gaze to the sidewalk.
I waited for her to finish but she just stood there with her arm wrapped around her waist.
"It make's you what Bella?" I prodded tenderly.
"Well it makes me feel more apart of something, like a community. Less alone."
A pain stuck through me and lodged itself in my lungs, just as it had last night when she had confided her feelings on loneliness. I never wanted her to feel like that again.
Her eye's were fixed on the place we had stuck our gum.
Frowning I placed my hands on either side of her arms and slowly spun her so that she was facing me.
Stooping down to look her in the eye's I said in quite and intent tone, "Your only alone if you want to be."
She met my stare and reluctantly her lip's began to curve up slightly.
Without hesitation I slipped my arms around to her back and pulled pressing her into my chest securely and tucking her head under my chin. She went ridged with shock, her own arms at her side and I could tell she had stopped breathing.
My body was on fire, my stomach thrashing around then pinching. Finally having Bella in my arms was exhilarating.
Her hair was soft on my chin and I shifted my neck so that my cheek pressed against the top of her head. Strawberry. She forever smelled of strawberries, but there was something more something deeper and more intoxicating that I couldn't quite place.
I tightened my hold on her letting her know I wasn't going anywhere. She was frail yet strong, delicate yet firm and gradually I could feel her giving in.
She took a breath then let it out slow and heavy; her lungs expanding against my ribcage.
I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding. Her fingers were fists on my back as she released some of the pressure in her body, relaxing slightly in my arms.
"See," I said contentedly "you're not alone."
We stood like that for a time each of us comforting each other in a small way; like the way smile from a stranger can brighten your day or just hearing the sound of your mother's voice brings a sence of relief.
"Bella?" I murmured glad I didn't have to say this while looking her in the eye. "I know I don't know you that well, but it's pretty obvious your dealing with some," I felt her tense again, "stuff", I said lightly trying to sooth her. "I just want you to know that you can trust me."
She turned resting her forehead on my chest as if she were desperate to hide her face, but after a moment her arms fell limply from around me and she was taking a step backwards away from me.
I released my hold on her all to soon and worked to keep a scowl from forming on my lips at the feeling of loss my body immediately felt.
"Thank you." she pushed her sleeves up nervously.
I grimaced inwardly at her continued denial my affection for her and let a sigh of defeat escape from me.
Running a frustrated hand through my hair I turned towards my car, "Yeah no problem." I muttered dejectedly.
She moved to fallow me and we walked in melancholy silence.
We were going to have to talk about this soon. I was beginning to feel like I was eggshells with her.
However as we got into my car I smiled lightly at her, attempting to once again put my personal disappointment to rest for the time being.
