ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

Disclaimer: Yup, I don't own Inuyasha!

LEMON WARNING AT THE END!!!

Chapter 12 – Crossroad

"It was so nice of you to help me wash these clothes, Rin. It would have taken me a day to finish without your help." Sango laughed.

Rin smiled cheerily at her. They were walking back to the village after washing the laundry in the nearby stream. "No problem Sango-san. I love to help. Sesshoumaru-sama had told me that I must learn as many as I could about human custom, daily lives, tradition..."

Sesshoumaru. Sango heart skipped a beat, hearing the taiyoukai's name revived her memory of her missing friend two years ago. Shippou said that before missing Kagome went to follow Sesshoumaru. Does Sesshoumaru know where Kagome is? Where is Kagome?

After they were healed, Sango, Miroku, and some of the villagers had gone searching for Kagome. Shippou had stayed in the village, stubbornly refusing to leave Inuyasha's body, saying that guarding Inuyasha until Kagome was back was his promise to her. And Shippou repeatedly said that Kagome would be back safe soon, because she had promised him.

Sango would not have that; she was really worried about her sister. Even less so after she had found out about Inuyasha's condition. So she encouraged the others to begin the search for her.

After six months without any hint and clue of Kagome's whereabouts, they had regretfully stopped their search. At one time Miroku said that they should always believed that where ever Kagome was, she must be safe. That she was on a journey to save Inuyasha's life, along with a powerful ally. Sango had asked about where Miroku had found that information. But Miroku just smiled, saying that an old acquaintance had visited him, and refused to say more.

A powerful ally. Sango had a big suspicion that Sesshoumaru had something to do with Kagome disappearance. In fact, she was almost sure that Sesshoumaru was the one responsible for it. She glanced at Rin, singing happily beside her, carrying a basket full of damp clothes. But how can I ask her about it, without raising her suspicion that I am accusing her Sesshoumaru-sama?

"Sango-san?"

"Huh?" Rin's voice broke Sango's thought.

"I want to ask you something." She walked slower and turned her head at her direction. "What should a girl do if she likes a boy?"

"Rin-chan! That's too early for you to know that!"

"Too early? But I am twelve now. I'm growing up and I want to know, Sango-san."

"Well… I guess it won't hurt to know… Umm…" Sango tried to remember her own experience. "Well… I think you should show him that you care, by giving him more attention and time, do and give the things he likes and avoid the things he dislikes."

"Hmm… show him that I care."

"Yes. And if you have enough courage and confidence, you should just tell him about your feelings." She smiled. "Do you have a crush on somebody, Rin?"

"No, Sango-san. I am just learning. Thank you!!" She smiled and began running happily toward the village.

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"There are none, young lord."

Sesshoumaru snarled. He was in his study, sitting behind his desk. He remembered his recent audience with Hotaru, the inuyoukai elder of fire that had resulted in the same answer as the others. There are no spells or items that can bind her to this Sesshoumaru!

He shook his head. They said that this Sesshoumaru's power will ensure her loyalty and faithfulness. But they do not know her! The half-breed still held her heart.

Two years had passed since the deal. Sesshoumaru had sought audiences with the four elders of Inuyoukai clan, the fire, the water, the air, and the earth inuyoukai. The result he got was the same disappointing answer. They had never encountered a spell or item that could be used to safely control someone's heart.

He had sought his ancestor's vast library to find scroll that describes any spell or item that could be used to manipulate someone's heart. But the only answer he found was an old script that stated… "…heart is the most fragile but also the strongest thing inside a being. No spells are powerful enough to break it and no items are soft enough to trap and control it without shattering it into irreparable pieces…"

He was frustrated. This Sesshoumaru's effort by that means had not shown good result. There is no other way. This Sesshoumaru will only have to depend on Rin's lesson, the monk's word, and from this Sesshoumaru's observation of human custom.

Sesshoumaru had been visiting Rin in his spare time when controlling his land. He had given a specific duty to his ward, to observe and analyze the human custom in establishing a relationship. He had reasoned with her that she would need that knowledge in order to live as a normal female, and he wanted a full report of her observation each time he visited.

He also sought information about human custom in relationship from the village's monk once. At first Miroku had hesitated, he even had blatantly requested Sesshoumaru to give Kagome back. But a little threat on Kagome's and his family's safety had turned him to be much more negotiable.

He still remembered what the monk was clarifying at the end of their discussion.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, what are you going to do with your new found information?"

He just turned and walked away.

"Whatever you are going to do please, do not hurt her more."

"That will be her choice." Sesshoumaru answer was short.

"Then I'm sure that Sesshoumaru-sama is wise enough to understand that every choice she makes is for the good of her friends. She is the most unselfish person I have ever met and never deserve to be inflicted by any pain."

He stilled for a few seconds, and began walking again. "She is and will always be safe."

He heard the monk let out a grateful sigh. "Thank you Sesshoumaru-sama. Please take care of her."

Based from the information he got from the monk, Sesshoumaru had observed Kagome closely, trying his best to understand her.

Human female tended to have much emotional turmoil, and as a start a male must try his best to understand her in order to make a relationship work. He sighed. Much more complicated then this Sesshoumaru originally thought. This Sesshoumaru has never thought that to court a female one must work so hard. If she were a youkai then this Sesshoumaru would win her in a heartbeat. Who is more powerful than this Sesshoumaru in this land? He arrogantly thought.

But for her this Sesshoumaru would do anything. His jaw was hard. Even if this Sesshoumaru must do the extreme, only for her.

Sesshoumaru, being the arrogant lord that he was, had never tried to discern his true feeling toward Kagome. He did not understand if what he was feeling was the emotion called love. He only wanted to be with her forever. He only wanted her presence that radiated peace and serenity beside him. He wanted to smell her soothing peach and honey scent every morning when he woke up. He wanted to hear her bubbly voice and laughter every day. And he wanted to see her lovely face every night before he drifted to the land of dreams. On top of that, he wanted to see her smile, while cooing and cradling his heir in her arm.

He stood up. His eyes blazed with determination.

He wanted her. And he always got what he wanted.

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Kagome could feel the flowing tears on her cheek. Everything around her was shrouded in the darkness, and the only thing she could see was the body in her arm. It's getting colder… His hand… His face is getting paler... His breath is getting shallow and fast… He's dying... My Inuyasha is dying...

She woke up suddenly; fresh tears were on her cheeks. She breathed hard. I dreamt of him again. I dreamt of him dying again. She let her tears fell, sniffing occasionally. Inuyasha… I miss you so much.

She felt the person beside her stir. Sesshoumaru moved closer to nuzzle her, trying to sooth her. "Another bad dream, mate." His voice was husky.

Kagome was in tears. "I saw him… dying again."

He licked her cheek. "Hn." He resumed his licking, and after a while his hands were wondering all over her naked body.

Kagome groaned, she was getting aroused again. She moaned when his hand started to fondle her sensitive breast. He used that chance to capture her mouth and thrust his tongue inside. She immediately responded to his kiss, desperately wanting to banish the memory of Inuyasha's death from her mind. She kissed him with much fervor; her tongue licked his fangs. Her hands were moving to his back and shoulder, and suddenly she pushed him to his side and lifted herself so that she was on top of him.

She continued her desperate attempt to forget Inuyasha's dying eyes, kissing and rubbing herself on him. Sesshoumaru growled at her audacity to dominate him and tried to push her back down, but her next word stilled him. "Make me forget, Sesshoumaru." She whispered between kisses.

He understood. "My pleasure, mate." He reached out and grabbed her buttocks in his hands. Kagome moaned. She felt his hard-on nudged at her stomach.

She nibbled his ear and felt him tense, he moaned afterwards. Always his sensitive spot. She felt Sesshoumaru grinded on her. "Patient, Sessh. Let me guide you." She whispered on his ear.

She positioned herself and slipped his dick into her. They both moaned at the sensation. Kagome then moved to a sitting position, straddling Sesshoumaru's hip, and started moving up and down.

"Sesshoumaru…"

His eyes were fixated on her juggling breasts. Unable to hold back any longer, he growled and moved himself up to a sitting position. Grabbing her buttocks, he drew her closer to him. Kagome wrapped her feet around his waist. He dipped down and sucked one of his nipples, while thrusting himself into her.

"Mmm… Sesshoumaru…" Her hands were on his head, drawing him closer to her. When she was close she threw her head back and moaned. Sesshoumaru thrust faster and finally she came.

She breathed harshly and laid her head on his shoulder, feeling satisfied but miserable, drifting between her growing feelings for Sesshoumaru and her eternal love for Inuyasha. She felt Sesshoumaru had not stopped, still seeking for his own pleasure from her body. She groaned, hugging his body closer and buried her face in his flowing silver hair. She let her tears fell, proof of her feelings of betrayal toward her love for Inuyasha. I'm sorry my love, Inuyasha. I know I should not feel this way. I know I should not let myself fall this easily to his charm. But I need someone to relive this pain. Every second remembering that you are not beside me pains me, and his touches relieve it, making me forget for a while. I need this distraction, Inuyasha. Someday with his help I will have you beside me again. But for now I need him… for your safety, for my anesthesia for losing you, for my sanity.

Kagome gasped when he flipped her beneath him, still thrusting furiously into her. I don't care if he uses me now. In the end I will have Inuyasha again.

Sesshoumaru continued thrusting and she let him. He bent her body as he like and she let him. He took her in many positions and she let him. He dominated her and she let him. He continued making love to her and she let him. Wait. No, not making love, but having sex. That is different. I will only make love with my Inuyasha. Then she drifted her mind to Inuyasha, the only one she loved with all of her heart.

"Inuyasha…" His name accidentally slipped from Kagome's lip in the middle of their passion, and suddenly his movement stopped. Kagome opened her eyes in confusion and saw the cold gaze of the male who truly had been ravishing her all this time. She felt the male tense and tremble slightly. He snarled and withdrew himself from her clutch with suppressed anger.

Kagome moved to a sitting position in apprehension while watching Sesshoumaru move out from the futon. She could feel his youki darkened and sparked wildly, full with suppressed anger. Will he punish me? What will he do to me? What scars will he inflicted on me? She trembled and clutched the blanket tightly to her body, trying to protect herself.

But Sesshoumaru just grabbed his robe and left the chamber without sparing her a glance. The shoji screen cracked when he slammed it shut.

Kagome was relieved, but also confused. Why does he just leave like that? According to his custom, he should have punished me now. What is wrong with him? Wait. He has been acting different since I agreed to become his temporary mate. He has not hurt or touched me against my will since then. Why is he acting so unlike his natural behavior? Why does he change?

Unconsciously, Kagome walked to follow his youki. Something within her tugged her to the direction of her mate's youki, this depressing and full of rage youki.She stopped in front of his dojo. When she touched the shoji screen to open it, a loud snarl followed by the sound of crashing stopped her.

Standing in front of the dojo with her hand on the shoji screen, she somehow felt his feeling. Rage, jealousy, depression, frustration, and confusion; he was in a mess. The great taiyoukai that feared by everyone was in a terrible mess. Kagome turned herself, her back was on the shoji screen and she slumped down. Hugging her knees close, she sobbed. If I hate him so much then why do I feel this way? Why does it pain me seeing him like this? Why do I feel like I should run to him and beg for his forgiveness? She continued sobbing.

After some time, the sound of snarls, growls, and crashes stopped. The taiyoukai was breathing harshly. He moved to go out from the dojo but when he tried to open the shoji screen he realized that his mate was crying on the other side. Feeling emotionally spent, he slumped down also and leant his back on the shoji screen. He bent one of his knees and leaned his head back. Thinking how could a simple human woman made him felt this much emotion. How could he let her controlled him like this. What he could do to make her totally his.

Kagome continued sobbing and Sesshoumaru stared off absently, their backs against each other. Anyone who saw them would agree that they made such a heart breaking sight.

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AN: So Sesshoumaru unconsciously admitted that he was in love with Kags. And Kags could not stop her growing feeling toward him. Will it be the start of a happy relationship?

Sorry I could not write about the elders more specifically, because this story is just moving too slow for the author and the readers' health.

As always, thank you very much for reading! More importantly, thank you for reviewing! Do you know that your reviews are the soul of this story? Because without you, the author will not have the motivation to continue writing until this point. Thank you all.

Thanks for the edit Lili!

©miwa03 – 2009