Disclaimer: SM and affiliates owns all that is Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Twelve

Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.

- Susan Taylor

24 December – Saturday Morning – Bella's POV

'Come Bella, come play with us . . .'

The compulsion was so amazing, and yet a little frightening at the same time. My desire to walk into the forest and discover its hidden agenda pulled at me. The cool winter air blew around me, bringing the scent of the woods that surrounded. I closed my eyes and took in the feeling of serenity and peace that the moment afforded. My unbound hair became windswept as the breeze danced around my face. Goosebumps became raised on my skin and sent shivers down my back. For some reason, the cold didn't seem to distract, but added another different element that made the moment peaceful. I reveled in this feeling and allowed it to fill me. I snapped out of my silly fantasy and inhaled deeply.

With each cleansing breath that entered my body, the feelings of negativity seemed to escape. It was a rushing sensation. Things that were associated with the Cullen's house in a dark light disappeared as I sat in what became my favorite part of their abode. The creaking of the chains that held the swing sounded in my ears and made me smile. I brought my hot chocolate to my lips and gingerly sipped at the warm concoction. Esme may not have been cook or even attempted to eat human food, but the woman sure knew how to prepare it. The warm liquid traveled down my heated throat and settled nicely in my stomach. I cherished a hot beverage on a blustery winter's morning.

The scene that I found myself in was something I always pictured. It was quite domestic, yet so foreign. I pictured myself in love and a mother, but far into the future. I envisioned a relationship where amorous feelings filled one's tummy with the cliché butterflies and one's pulse became thready. Cheeks would become tinted with the physical manifestation of the level of attraction they felt when their love entered the room. A small quirk would appear on one's lips as their eyes would alight with unbidden desire and need. Then the love interest would sit beside their chosen one as they snuggled with the other basking in the shared adoration.

It amazed me that I had all these things, yet the unconventional thing was my love being a fictional vampire. That may have scared others off, but it caused me to smile because my Jasper was different than the others and he was mine. It was those things that defined him that made me love him all the more. He may not have been with me in that moment as I swayed on the porch swing, but he was always present in my heart, thoughts, and soul. What a scary yet glorious thought it truly was.

It had been a difficult night without Jasper by my side. It had really been the first time (that I could consciously remember) being separated from him during the darkening hours of the day. The level of my attachment to him scared me some. I wasn't sure how entirely healthy it was how attached I became. Part of me (that centered in my brain) told me that it was dangerous, the level of connection I had with him. Another part that was more centrally located (in the region of my heart) told my brain to piss off. When it came to matters of the heart and adulation, the brain had not a clue what to do. I felt like there were two parts of me at war and both scared me in equal parts.

But even my fear could keep me from him.

As the swing moved backward and forward, I allowed the constant motion to lull me into comfort. I had always craved moments such as this, and my heart could only sigh at its completion. Something from the right had caught my attention and caused my calm and steady heart to race.

Jasper stood there, staring at me as I stared at the shadowed forest. I wondered how long he had observed me. I couldn't help the silly smile that came over my warmed lips from my drink. Jasper's hands were shoved in the front pockets of his dark jeans. His light blue buttoned-up shirt was opened at the collar and the two side flapped as the wind played with the loosened material. His blonde curls were in disarray and also were pushed by the chilly breeze. His eyes were intense and captured me completely. The dark amber swirled as he fixed his gaze from my searching eyes to my lips. One couldn't help but shiver when one was studied so intently, as if the person watching knew one's entire universe.

I felt legs find the ground and stand on their own violation. It was as if my body knew what I wanted and had no cause for my brain to make commands. My thoughts were too arrant to even make such commands. I seemed to have been in one of those nonsensical moments were everything faded from view except the person you wanted and loved so much.

Everything became blurry on the edges as Jasper came into sharp focus. He didn't move but watched my every step out of attentive eyes. If I were being honest with myself, I didn't want him to come to me. He had done that on so many occasions and it was now my turn to reciprocate. It was if he understood my need and remained unshaken and statuesque. His face was the most expressive part of him and helped to ally my fears.

I carefully took one step in front of the other, making sure I cleared the steps without making a fool of myself. And before I could once again control my actions, I threw the mug that was in my firm grasp to the ground and heard as it thumped where it landed, or perhaps it was the tapping of my heart against my ribcage. One never knew in these situations.

My feet sped up until I was racing towards the person I had wanted the most in that moment. I had read about moments such as this and even laughed a bitter laugh, at such romantic notions, but I wasn't laughing then. It didn't mean that I wasn't jaded still about such romantic interludes, but that my vision was opened to all the new possibilities that Jasper's presence in my life bought. I was even surprised as I felt the sting behind my eyes increase before my vision became blurred, but even my skewed vision could deter me from my goal. Water trickled from my overflowing eyes and fell against my chilled flesh. But nothing else mattered.

I finally reached out and literally collided with my love. My legs left the ground and wrapped around my vampire's waist. He didn't seem to mind as he caught me in mid-jump and secured me to his lean frame. Jasper let go of our control and allowed gravity to take its course. We both tumbled to the ground and I couldn't help but laugh at the joviality of his antics. My chest pushed into his as he landed on the ground with me still atop him.

My laughs were instantly silenced as my lips more hurriedly found his.

We were both instantly scorched as we frantically made up for the time we had been apart. I fell further into him as his hands pushed my back down. My chest was heaving from my thick breaths and heavy pounding heart. Our mouths seemed fused together as mine once again molded around his. Jasper had a fear that my skin would be cut by his sharp teeth, but I could have cared less. The longer our mouths worked in sync, the more my thoughts became mush and my body wanton.

Without notice, my lower body started to move, craving the friction it instinctively knew would happen. The material of my jeans rubbed against his and was the only barrier between us. Something inside of me became seared and it felt as if my pulse could be felt in the center of my legs. My inner muscles seemed to clinch at the idea and caused me to rub even harder against Jasper demanding body. He responded in like as his hands traveled from by back down to my bottom. His hands pushed me into him as he rose up meeting the challenge.

My tongue left my mouth and tasted my vampire's lower lip that was still wet from our combined kisses. I could taste both of us on the skin of his lips and couldn't help but moan at the flavor. I wondered if Jasper's venom passed our opened mouths, thinking it I had ingested any. Light nibbles took me out of my head and back to the vampire under me. Our combined flavor was almost sweet like refined sugar and left a stimulating aftertaste that one couldn't get enough of.

Jasper's insistent hands seemed to slow as they found their way into my hair and fisted there as the locks wove around each individual finger. Our hungry and almost hard kisses became sluggish and languid. I could already feel the swelling of my lips, but Jasper's soft and loving tongue lined my lips and gently massaged them until all I could feel was the soft tickle.

Things had quickly gone from surreal to demanding for making up lost time to long-drawn-out actions. Our emotions swirled around us along with the now howling wind. I reluctantly pulled back and our lips slowly parted. I took his taste in once more which still lingered on me. I smiled shyly at him. Our moment had been intense. I hadn't meant to be so desperate, but needed him in that moment and it couldn't have been delayed. Jasper's face showed his love and his pleasure.

He looked both sated and more relaxed. I could only imagine what my grinding on him had done. If the now rescinding bulge in his pants was any indication, then I had something to be proud of. A pleased yet timid smile came to my lips once more. To know that I had given some pleasure to him made me feel immensely better about his past and the women who had much more experience that I would ever accumulate. My neither regions were going to be a little sore, but it was a pain that was well worth the effort. Jasper's gaze took in my smile and his own blossomed on his captivating face. I couldn't imagine a time where he was entrancing to me.

When I finally allowed him to speak, his words once again did failed to incite me, "I've missed your warmth, angel," he rasped. "One becomes accustomed to your heated skin pressed against his own."

"And one becomes accustomed . . . to such ardent words . . . leaving your luscious lips," I retaliated in broken whispers between deep gasps and slow kisses. He gave me an indulgent smile before he pulled me down to him once more and buried his face in my hair that had fallen into his face. His hands clasped together on my lower back and I laughed a little as his lips traced over my collarbone.

"You taste extraordinary, angel. I could sample your flesh forever," I shivered at both his slightly cool breath and supple words. I had no words to give back to him except the truth.

"I missed you also, baby. The night was long without you. Cheye slept through the night, or was either held all night by selective-hearing vampires, I'm not quite sure," I said in mock-anger. They had been doing better with hold her constantly. I pulled away from his roaming lips and thought myself stupid, but I wanted to see his face. "How was your night, Jasper?" he became more serious at my question, but I could see the hope that shined through.

"It was productive, angel. I don't want to go into specifics because I don't want to break his trust in me, but much was accomplished. It wasn't easy, but those things that are most worth our time and love never are." Jasper never realized how handsome and dignified his insight into things made him look. He thought himself lacking in some areas, but he was so wrong. It was something I could often remind him about; at least persuade him with my lips sans words. My fingers traced the contours of his beautiful, pale face.

"Is Edward here?" I whispered from some unknown reason. Jasper's hands surrounded my face, my skin flared with the heat that his caressing fingers brought. The look on his face portrayed both his immense love and concern. His eyes were locked onto mine as he searched for something that was unknown to me.

He once again sealed his lips to mine, which caused me to moan at the attention and utter gentleness he gave them. It felt as if angel's wings ghosted across my skin. He pulled back before he answered, "Yes, baby, he's inside. We are both well fed," my vampire joked. I couldn't help but grin. "And the family most likely heard what we were doing out here," he added like a forgotten afterthought, it was far from that. My cheeks instantly became scarlet from my embarrassment.

I wanted to yell at Jasper for not telling me such a thing before hand and letting me continue in ignorance. I tried to swat him in the chest, but of course he overruled my decision. He grabbed my hand at vampire speed and placed many kisses to the palm. My anger and embarrassment quickly melted as he lavished me with his attention. He was quite unfair, but who was I to complain.

"Are you ready to go inside, Bella?" he asked me, study both my face and emotions. I could now distinguish when he was reaching out to me with his gift. I pushed my honest emotions to him. He took them in before he placed one last tender kiss to the palm of my hand.

"Shall we go inside, Jasper?" it was now his turn to answer my question. His eyes, for some reason, filled with venom and I was too surprised to do anything but look at him in awe.

"I'm so in love with you, Isabella. I want you to feel my love so fully, but for now take my words and always remember the feelings my love may provoke in you." All I could do was nod. Once he thought my answer sufficient. I slowly got off of him and tripped a little from my unstable legs. His hands caught me around the waist and steadied me. He pulled me back into his solid chest and moved the hair from my neck. His lips placed two wet kisses on the junction of my neck. "Remember how much I adore you, angel, and know that everything will be fine." I reached behind me and threaded my fingers in his soft curls. The simple action always brought comfort to me.

"I love you so much, Jasper, and with you beside me, what's to fear," I whispered and allowed the wind to carry the sound to his ears. I looked at the woods once more and thought about their mysteries. Some things pulled at a person more than others, and it seemed that anything that had to do with the Cullen's pulled at me.

My vampire was more than worth the effort.


As we entered through the back French doors of the house, I couldn't hear anything. It was as if even the house was holding its breath, waiting to let it out in a collective sigh. Jasper led me into the family room where I saw those that were waiting for us to reappear.

I finally spotted Edward sitting next to Carlisle on the couch, I felt somewhat apprehensive. I was still scared of him, if I was being honest, but I also felt guilty. His face showed his pain and somewhat reluctance in being in this situation. I wondered if it had been forced or if he was here of his own will. Jasper had given me the details of the family meeting, but hadn't filled me in on the minute details. He simply stated that everyone was on board and that he and Edward were going to get him accustomed to my smell.

I also knew that Cheyenne was some kind of deterrent for Edward, especially in not attacking me. He had felt terrible for using her in such a way. I had thought it amazing that he could look at my little daughter and see her goodness. She had been some kind of talisman to him, and hadn't even realized. I loved my daughter and I was more than happy that her existence had given some sort of relief to someone. It reminded me of Jasper in a way. I had no problem with him thinking of her to help him. I hoped that Jasper had relayed that information to him.

His brother's eyes were somewhat dark, but I could tell that he was under control. That smile that had chilled me to the very bone wasn't present and for that I was more than thankful. He had looked as if something had snapped within him and a wild, unexplainable thing had taken over. I thought I had breathed my last breathe on this earth and wanted Jasper to know of my love.

When I had finally run home, I collapsed on my bed and cried my eyes out. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my first meeting with Edward going in such a direction. To say it was scary would have been an understatement. When he had first opened the door, I was taken by surprise. I was expecting someone else for some other reason that escaped me. I knew, obviously that he lived there, but it never crossed my stupid mind that he would react to me in such a way. I didn't know what I had done to cause such a reaction. I hadn't meant to offend him in any way, especially which would cause him to try and harm me. It hadn't been until Jasper explained that I received some reassurance. I still felt guilty.

As I watched him now and pulled from my past memories, a grimace surfaced over his lips. I could tell he was fighting his natural reaction to me; my smell was not helping in anyway. It would have been comical that my smell affected him, if he didn't want to drain me. He finally looked broke our eye contact and watched as my daughter sleep peacefully in Esme's arms. His facial muscles relaxed as he watched her, and I wondered if he even realized.

"I'm sorry, Edward, that you have to suffer in such a way because of my presence in your family," I finally blurted out, unable to hold in my sorrow any longer. It wasn't fair in the least that he was suffering. "I'm just so sorry," I crumbled into Jasper's out stretched arms. Water fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. My knees had given out from the immense amount of guilt I felt. Jasper pulled me up and into his lap as he sat somewhere that I didn't know. I was too caught up in my grief.

"Bella," someone called, but I couldn't really focus. Once again my name was called but in a more forceful manner. I finally regained some control over my wild emotions. I looked up and saw Edward looking directly into my eyes. His copper hair fell into his view.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he spoke and pulled me from my train of thought. "It was an unfortunate series of events that no one could have known. Alice may have been able to know, but for some reason she didn't." I knew that his sister could see into the future, and I was surprised that I haven't even thought of that angle. "We have tried to contact her, but there has been no response," he continued to explain, more to himself on the topic of his missing sister.

"It is I that should be apologizing to you. I should have ran the moment I knew I couldn't resist your smell, but didn't. I hold the responsibility for that action, and words cannot explain away my terrible events. I'm also sorry for trying to take your life. I give no excuse, and can only beg your forgiveness. I was deplorable and uncontrolled. I hope to never have a repeat again, Bella. You may not be able to find absolution in your heart now, but perhaps in the future. I also know that only my actions will prove my penitence, but perhaps –"

"Edward," I spoke before he could continue, "I have already forgiven you, even though it isn't necessary. You cannot help your natural reaction and it's my fault that my presence in your life causes such pain. I should not even be here –" It was my turn to be cut off by Jasper and Carlisle's objections.

"Isabella, you should be here, and I don't want to hear those inane ideas spill from your mouth again," Carlisle's voice pierced me sharply. He wasn't joking and every word he spoke was the truth. "We are a family, and with that come struggles. You are now a part of our family and we deal with our problems together. Don't think you are ever unwanted, dear," silent tears continued to fall from my eyes at his heartfelt words. His eyes were soft and his face somber. I just nodded my head and looked around. There was a sort of fortitude on everyone's face that was present. Edward's was a little more pained then the rest, but with no less perseverance.

"Where are Emmett and Rosie?" I finally asked, realizing they weren't there. My gaze settled onto Carlisle while everyone else smiled or grimaced.

"We thought it best that our dear Emmett not be here for this conversation, it being that of a serious nature and all," Carlisle informed me, but smiled. "And we all know how Rose can keep him occupied for a time." No other explanations were needed, not to mention, I didn't want those imagines in my mind's eye.

The mood seemed to lighten somewhat after that, but there was still some tension in the air. Edward gave me one head nod before he left the room, settling somewhere else. Music filled the room and it was unlike something I hadn't really heard but somehow recognized. Esme settled into Carlisle after putting Cheyenne in her cradle but continued to watch the sleeping child.

"That's Edward playing his piano, angel. The music you recognize is part of the song I had written for you. He is playing the accompaniment that you heard the night of our date. Do you remember, little one?" he asked, I recognized the notes.

"How could I ever forget that night, Jasper? You make everything special for me." I kissed his lips gently to show how much I loved and appreciated his gifts in my life.


24 December – Saturday Evening – Bella's POV

The pregnancy ward of the hospital was quiet as we entered. I could feel the call of those nightmarish times I spent here, but threw them in the back of my mind. Tonight was about the needs of others, and not my issues. The lights were dimmed and one could hear the occasional beep of a medical machine. Rose placed her hard hand on my shoulder, as if she knew what I had been thinking. My time unconscious had also affected her, even though we never spoke of that time.

I commanded my mind to think of something else, the further we made our way into the ward. I thought about before we had arrived here and the Cullen's tradition. Jasper had read a passage of Shelley's Journal to everyone. She had touched his life in so many ways that I couldn't help but cry as his smooth voice filled my hearing with her beautiful, enlightening, and humorous words.

Christmas time was always a special to me, probably like so many others. It was a religious time, a loving time, a generous time, a brotherly-love time, and a time of good will. I couldn't find one thing to despise, except perhaps the snow. Who in their right mind loved to shovel that white demon? Not to mention it turning to ice . . . but that was embarrassment left for another day. My mother still laughed when she thought about my tongue getting stuck on the sidewalk from the ice. I didn't like to back down from a dare. I'm sure whoever reads this in the future (which will hopefully be no one) would remember the film 'A Christmas Story'; need I write more. (Tries not to blush profusely)

But aside from all the joshing, there is something truly magical about this time. People are more thankful for their small miracles, family, food on their tables, warmth that fills their homes and friends that fill their lives with laughter.

"Don't only be thankful around this time, baby," my mother would educate, "but let your heart be thankful always. It will lead you to a long life!" I always laughed at her nuggets of wisdom. I wasn't sure about the whole longevity part, but she was right about letting my heart always be opened to gratitude.

I had learned through my divorce that even though, love may die and wither, you still have your family and friends there to pick you up. It was one of the many lessons I had seen played back in my life when I decided to write this journal. My mothers and friends' love provided a foundation that was padded for me to fall on. They carried me in the moments of complete darkness, and laughed with me when I needed something that didn't pertain to my pain. I knew this was a weird thing to be thankful for at Christmas, but as my mother had said, my heart was thankful all year long.

I had learned that when people are in their most needy times a community can come together and bring a little relief to their lives. Some people mocked small towns, but the feel of community and unity was unmatched. We took care of our own and made sure they had the comforts needed. It was so utterly beautiful to me to watch my neighbors coming together and lending a hand to those less unfortunate.

I had also learned that when the world tried to change the season of Christmas to something else that it was for naught. I couldn't understand the hatred in a time of year that brought so much joy and happiness to people's lives. One didn't have to be religious to enjoy the season. To me, it was the feeling of togetherness, the feeling of delight, the feeling of wanting to help someone in need, the feeling of thinking about someone else beside oneself, and the feeling of being benevolent that always touched me the most. I wasn't the most religious person, but that didn't matter to me when it came to the holiday season. It was my time to be happy and celebrate mankind and their willingness to reach out to others. And one could never argue with that. The lessons of service I learned at Christmas time were carried with me throughout the year and always carried a place in my grateful heart.

There were many other things I loved, but looking up at the angel adorning the top of my Douglas Fir Tree, I cannot help but ponder on my life lessons that have molded me into the person sitting on my overstuffed couch. Some things stayed with a person for a lifetime.

My mother would be proud of something getting through my thick skull. Until next time – Happy Christmas Shelley, and to all who may read this horrid journal one day (a smile lingers on my lips).

I took her words to my heart and put aside my own problems, focusing on others. It was always a sure way to alleviate one's problems.

As we passed out the baskets we had prepared that consisted of Bath and Body Works products, soft chenille blankets, slippers, silk robes, thick woolen socks, shampoo, conditioner, gift cards for later, and other little assembles that we had bought on our outing, I watched as the new mother's faces lit up. There smiles were beyond genuine, even if some of them were more than tired. Some shed tears from the generous gifts, while others were speechless from the unexpected kindness.

The Cullen's had explained to me that they chose a charity each holiday season to donate needed items along with their unending time. While doing these service projects, Carlisle tried to teach his family how blessed they were, even if they were vampires. He believed strongly in nature and the continuous pattern of life. He cherished every life, even the ones he had to drain for his nourishment. His heart simply overflowed with bleeding emotion for everyone that touched his path in any way. How could someone look at him and not feel that radiating soul that reached out and touched one's own?

"We chose to do the hospital this year because of you, Bella," Esme whispered as we walked down the hall to another part of the ward. I turned to look at her, and I'm sure she read the confusion on my face. "Since we spent some time here during your recovery," she edited, I didn't blame her for saying when I had died, "we had decided to give back to the institution. They did a marvelous job with you that we are showing our gratitude." Unbidden tears came to my eyes.

I knew that Esme held some affection for me and we had become somewhat close since first meeting, but we didn't have any really serious talks. Our conversations usually consisted of Cheyenne, her family, and her assistance in anything I may have needed help with. She was more than gracious with me, but I hadn't bonded with her like I had with Carlisle and Rosie. It was through no fault of her own; when she wasn't attending to me or spending large sums of money on Cheyenne, she was busy with some project that had captured her fancy.

"We love you, Bella and could never imagine our lives without you, darling." I blushed and quickly tried to change the subject.

"That was very generous of you, Esme, and of course the others. I don't really like to think about the times I have spent here, but it's wonderful that you want to show some kindness in any way you can. One can say you succeeded just by watching the faces of the mothers when they smile," I spoke softly. This part of the hospital just seemed to call for whispers. I also hope she took the bait and changed the subject. Rose was quick to burst my bubble. She was too observant at times.

"Stop, Esme," Rose gently chided her mother figure, "you're going to embarrass our Bella even further. We already know that she cannot take a compliment well." I knew she was teasing me, but also spoke the truth. My cheeks became even redder and their tinkling laughs washed over me.

"Okay, enough with this topic. I love the both of you also, and I would also like to talk of something else," I said in my most stern voice. They both gave me a quick wink before abiding my request.

After the gifts were passed out and we were thanked many times over, we stopped in front of the glass window that showed off the new lives. Many of the newborns were asleep and dreaming of things unknown. Each one was beautiful and precious in its own right. They came in all different looks and different colors, but some things remained the same: their futures were bright and unwritten. So much possibility was laid before their little sock-covered feet.

Strong, solid arms wrapped around me from behind and I jumped a little from the unexpected contact. Jasper's lips kissed the side of my neck, and I sighed a little at the tender moment. I hadn't gotten to see Cheyenne like this, but I could imagine it would have been something like this.

"How was your deliveries, angel?" the gorgeous man that captured me long ago asked. I turned around to see him from my side vision, before I was caught up with Carlisle. He looked funny in his Santa Costume, yet somehow right. He had even put a pillow in his red coat to give some much needed padding. He and Esme were talking about something while she stroked his fake white beard. Their love was so evident and so inspiring to witness.

"Ours went very well, Jasper. How did Santa and his little elves fair?" I could help the tiny giggles that escaped from my mouth. Emmett had looked something else in his tight green spandex and green elf hat.

"It was adventurous, like anything that involves Emmett dressed up like some sprite and Carlisle playing Santa," he mumbled into my hair. I knew he was also trying to suppress his laughter. It was inappropriate for such raucous laughter where we stood. My eyes couldn't help but travel to where Emmett-in-green-tights stood with a full pout on his boyish face. I could only imagine the complaints that Rosie was enduring. It didn't seem to bother her, whatever he was saying, because she was too caught up with the little girl that was in her arms. She loved Cheyenne so much, and her love was more than evident on her shining face and glassy eyes.

I looked over to the end of the hall and saw a lone figure. My heart went out to him and the loneliness he may have been feeling. I had a taste of that and I could only admire him all the more. Being surrounded by such displays of affections wasn't easy and he had lived that for over a hundred years. Edward was made of stronger stuff then even he realized. I gave him a small smile, uncertain where I stood with him and within his thoughts. I was his greatest weakness, after all.

The grimace on his face lightened a little, and the corner of his lips seemed to quirk a little. I was surprised by the action and more than happy. I didn't want to be any more of a burden to him then I already was. I guess I had received my Christmas gift from him earlier than expected. Carlisle started to talk and drew my attention back to him.

As we left the hospital and walked into the cold evening night, I looked back once more to the place that had represented many horrors to me and sent a silent wish to everyone there. I hoped their lives and their aliments turned out well, and perhaps their lives may have been as blessed as mine.

After they return home from the hospital

Bella's POV

"Like what you see, Rosie baby?" he yelled so everyone in the surrounding neighborhood could hear him. Cheyenne jumped at the loud noise and whimpered a little. I turned red as I thought of what he wanted to give Rose later, and then became more embarrassed as he spotted my weakness. "Oh, it looks like Bella wants a piece of the Emmett man. I guess Jasper cannot give to our little Bella and she has to find a real man," he yelled again. I hid my face in my hair and tuned out his words. Jasper, the traitor, chuckled at his brother's tease. He just liked to see me flushed, in more ways than one, if I were being honest.

Cheyenne started to cry a little louder at the unexpected yells of Emmett. Jasper buried his face in her neck and kissed her little fat folds, she did enjoy eating. Cheyenne was always comforted when she felt Jasper's face touching her. She fisted her hands in his hair and I knew she was calming.

"Lower your voice, Emmett," Rosie hissed at her husband as she ran her finger down Cheyenne's cheek. She tried to take her out of Jasper's arms, but Cheye started to cry again. I laughed at this because I knew what Rose was feeling. There was no way one could take Cheyenne from Jasper's arms unless she wanted you to, and it was so unlikely when she was upset. She wanted her comforter and to her that represented Jasper's arms.

Rose huffed and dropped onto the couch next to me. She folded her arms across her chest and shot Jasper lethal looks. He just smirked at her and pulled Cheyenne up to his lips for a kiss. I pulled Rose's head onto my shoulder and chased the hair from her face while I ran my hand over her cheeks in a soothing manner. She put her arms around my waist and spoke into my shoulder, "Everyone is at an unfair advantage where Jasper is concerned with Cheyenne." I just laughed again at her pouting and kissed her cold cheek. I heard the sound of a picture being taken and looked up. Emmett was standing there in his green tights and Elf's hat with Jasper's camera. His mouth was hung open and lust was written clearly in his eyes. I was a little freaked out with his dirty ogling, but thought I play with him a little. I winked at Rose before she yelled at Emmett for his perverted ways.

I leaned in ever so slowly and brought my lips closer to Rose's. She knew what I was doing and played along. I could hear Emmett's intake of breath at the thought of seeing something naughty. I angled my head to the side and licked my lips as I got closer to Rose. She copied my movements, and I willed myself not to blush. I heard Jasper laughing in the back ground, but knew Emmett didn't realize; he was watching us too intently. He chanted, "Go, go, almost there."

When my lips were within centimeters of Rose's, I quickly turned my head and put my lips onto her cheek. She collapsed into me as her laughs filled the air, and Emmett's disappointed wails followed Rose's, causing everyone watching to laugh.

"Merry Christmas, Emmett," I said after I collected myself and winked at him. He just huffed as Rose had done earlier and dropped down to the ground by our feet. Rose reached out and kissed him soundly on the cheek. A little smile broke through his frown as he pulled Rose from off of the couch behind him and into his lap. He buried his face in her hair and whispered his love to her. I knew I shouldn't have listened to them, but when Emmett was being gentle with her, it was hard to avoid something so beautiful. The love almost radiated from them. I felt someone's eyes on me. I looked up and was immediately caught in Jasper's ocher gaze. He was so handsome and his intense visage called to my very core.

"I love you," he mouthed and I felt a tear of my own come into my eye. His wobbly smile was so innocent looking and I wondered if he realized the appeal it had on everyone he gifted it with. Cheyenne had fallen asleep again in his arms. He walked over to her cradle and tenderly put her down. Carlisle's eyes immediately focused onto Cheyenne and one could see he was happy with his little love's presence. Jasper left her side before coming back over to me. He roughly pulled me up from the couch and I had to hold in my yelp of surprise. We walked to the back porch and he closed the door silently behind us. Jasper turned around and I could see the need in his face. I shivered at the mass amount, but reveled he could see me in such a way. Jasper pushed me against the back wall of the house and pressed his amazing body into mine. I wondered if the pounding of my heart distracted him in the least. His mouth found the lobe of my ear and he sucked it in. I couldn't stop the moan that came from my lips as I fisted my hands into his shirt.

He pushed into me harder and my back became flushed with the wall. I would never complain having his exquisite body compressed into mine. "Look up," he whispered before he licked behind my ear. I reluctantly looked away from him and up. The mistletoe that hung there was big and filled with berries. It was one of the many staples of the holiday season, and I loved that Jasper tried to fill my life with those traditions.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him my thanks, "You are amazing, baby," I murmured as my lips crashed onto his that I had pulled down. My mouth worked with fervor to show him the love I was filled with in that moment. He buried both of his hands in my hair and pulled gently. He changed the angle of our kiss before he licked my lips once and moved down to my cheek, jaw, and exposed neck. I felt my eyes close on their own accord, as I lost myself in the sensations that Jasper created in my all too willingly body. I arched my stomach into his as he found the sensitive part of my throat where my pulse beat. I knew it was his favorite place. It reminded him I was still alive and in his arms.

"Damn, I love you angel," he murmured before he kissed my lips once again with his warm ones.

"As I love you, Jasper," I said back to him as our lips were still sealed together. "You always taste so scrumptious," the words slipped from my tongue as Jasper pulled it and gave me more of his flavor. Out tongues worked together and created a hot friction in our joined mouths. I couldn't get close enough to him and knew I probably never would.

"Hem-hem," we heard and both broke apart. My face flared and Jasper looked murderously at Emmett. He really did have the worst sense of timing. I guess he and Rose had come out of their love bubble, so therefore everyone did. "Bella, Esme wants you in the kitchen. She said your dinner was finished and was going to come and get you herself, but I volunteered. I had to see the hot make-out session," I should have been applaud at his comment, but I was more appreciative that Esme had not found us.

"Thanks Emmett," I mumbled before I turned back to the beautiful man in my arms. I pulled him down to me again and kissed his pale, hot mouth. My tongue found the seam of his lips and he smiled at my provocative actions. "Until later, baby," I breathed heavily into Jasper's mouth as his tongue licked my lips once more.

"Damn straight, kitten," he growled and pushed into me one last time so I could feel his amazing and long desire for me, and goodness did I ever. I turned away from him and stumbled a little over my feet, but the embarrassment was well worth it. Even Emmett didn't comment. He was too busy looking at the spot I had vacated, with his mouth hanging open. It was always a bonus when one could shut him up. As I closed the door behind me, I could hear Jasper's darling brother had gotten the use of his vocals backs.

"I knew that Bella was a little freak." You had to just love Emmett. One couldn't keep him or his bloviating mouth down for long.


25 December – Sunday Night – Bella's POV

The holiday had been more than I could have ever imagined. The year before, Mike and I had spent a quiet day together. His mother had wanted him to go home, but he chose to stay with me. I had felt terrible for that, but I couldn't make him change his mind, no matter how much I had begged. Our relationship had still been fairly new and he didn't want to be separated. If I would have known a few short months later he would have been in a coma, I would have gone home with him. It was unfair that I had gotten to spend that time with him, and his parents didn't.

Mike had asked me to go home with him, but I had been too shy even though I had been close with his family. It was different because we had been dating at the time and I wasn't just a friend anymore. I was selfish and it was a choice I would always regret. Some things in our life couldn't be changed no matter how much we willed them.

But tonight as I lay in bed with Jasper's arms wrapped securely around me and his soft kisses against my shoulder, I knew that life was never what one expected. Our day had been wonderful and filled with much love. I still felt terrible whenever I had looked in Edward's direction, but he was true to his word and tried his hardest while I was around. There were some times when his eyes would darken, but he would look over to Cheye, and they would become somewhat light once again.

I had been surprised at the gift he had given to her for Christmas. I wasn't expecting anything from him, but tears had flooded my eyes as I unwrapped her gift with the help of Jasper and Cheyenne sitting up in my lap. Her tiny shoes had been dipped in bronze and the date of her birth had been inscribed on the plaque they rested on. The gift was something that reminded me of old times, something that would have been given seventy years ago. I hadn't seen a pair of baby shoes dipped in bronze for the longest time, and the sentiment was truly felt. I had thanked him from the bottom of my heart. He showed me that grimace that was supposed to be a smile. Everyone had praised him and his choice of gift before he became too embarrassed, left the room hurriedly, and started to play carols on his piano.

Carlisle and Esme had also given something unexpected to Cheyenne. They had commissioned a portrait painted of her. I was once again overcome with emotion as I rushed over and hugged both of the people who had come to mean so very much.

"I wanted her painted in oils, so we could all remember this time in her life where her innocence filled our family." Carlisle said with thick emotion in his voice.

"We love her so very much," Esme filled in before looking over to the cooing child in Jasper's arms. "As we love you also, Isabella." I just nodded my head and looked over to Jasper and Cheye. Her eyes started to droop. I think that Jasper had worn her out with all the pictures he had taken over the last several days. He wanted to always have the memories of her younger years. He claimed he wanted them well documented, but I knew he just loved looking at her pudgy little face.

Emmett's gift had been unwanted, but when I saw the childish joy on his face when he went to retrieve it, I couldn't say anything but thanks. Now in Cheyenne's room in the corner stood a nine foot polar bear named Emmett. I had been beyond stunned when I first laid eyes on it, but after studying Emmett, I knew that the damn bear was a serious gift and really meant for her. There was a shirt on its chest that had a picture of her uncle smiling. I laughed with everyone else after my shock had worn off. Only Emmett would have thought of such a gift. His wife's gifts were more appropriate, but still too much. She had gotten her niece at least fifty new outfits. Words were stuck in my throat as I opened the many packages she kept piling in front of me. I scolded Rosie, but she simply waved me off as if I were some annoying fly.

She took the sleeping Cheye from Jasper (the time she was ever able to without the little one's permission) and placed small kisses over her face. "It was the least I could do for the princess. She has to have the latest fashions, darling," she informed me as if I couldn't comprehend the topic. And in that respect she was correct.

Jasper's gift had me both crying and speechless for the tenth time that morning. He had a mobile commissioned from some local artist. Tiny glass-blown bulbs hung from their wrought iron hanger. Each bulb was a myriad of colors, but had a picture of each family member on the inside holding her. Each picture was wavy because of the glass incasing them, but one could tell what each was. In the center was one of Cheye herself, sleeping. Edward had come back into the room in that instant, and he and Jasper had shared some secret look. They each nodded at the other before Jasper returned his attention to the rest. The center bulb was then surrounded with the other glass that held pictures of the rest of us.

"What are you thinking, angel?" my love's voice filtered into my ear. His hands caressed my now empty stomach, but it was a habit that he hadn't gotten over, not that I was complaining. I always wanted his hands on me in some form or other.

"About how perfect everything was today," I finally answered, a smile he couldn't see lingering on my mouth.

"It was pretty spectacular, hmm baby." I turned over in his arms and placed tiny kisses on his nose. His outraged guffaws filled the room, and I couldn't help but laugh at his silly reaction. Sometimes his masculinity was as strong as Emmett's. "You missed the mark, kitten," he chided me before capturing my lips with his own unyielding ones. Mine gave way as they formed around his perfect outline.

"Love you Jasper," I rasped into his mouth. His tongue swiped my upper lip before he answered.

"More than you could ever imagine, angel."

We spent most of the night showing each other that love through our mouths and hands. My body called for more, but I knew that I still had to wait. Sometimes having a child was a burden on a woman's body and until I was healed properly I just had to bide my time. Until then, Jasper was more than eager to work me over with his mouth.

Life was definitely unpredictable and mine showed that more than ten times over.


Author's Notes Continued: Hope this chapter was alright. I had the most difficult time writing it for some unknown reason. I had more planned, but realized it was long enough and didn't need anymore embellishment. I know the scenes change a lot, but hopefully there wasn't any confusion or made the chapter seem bad. What did you think of Edward and Bella meeting again? I didn't want him to be miraculously cured, but I also wanted him to be able to be around her. Was I able to portray that alright? How did you like the gifts? I could have written a long scene about what everyone received, but I really wanted to focus on Cheyenne's gift. Jasper's gift to Cheyenne was for both mother and daughter.

Well I think that's enough we me blathering. Hope all is well with everyone. Thanks to all who reviewed. They were wonderful to read. Much love as always!

Posted 18 February 2011