Per Mitchie's request, I had Kenzie and my makeup team meet us at my house to get ready for the award show. Mitchie wasn't comfortable with the recent run in with the paparazzi downtown. When Kenzie and my team arrived, they were all so chipper and happy to be helping Mitchie get ready, I understood though because I was quite repetitive with my outfits and they never had to put much makeup on me unless I was doing an interview for the TV or something. My makeup would come later before I announce winners tonight and of course for my show in the park, mainly because I know there will be news broadcasters there recording it.
Kenzie, Mitchie and a few of the makeup artists went into my guest room to help Mitchie get ready. A few people helped me get into my tux and made a few seam adjustments.
"Looking good Shane." Brandon, one of Kenzie's usual workers told me with a nod. I thanked him as I put my tie on and rolled up the cuffs of my tux.
Kenzie knocked on my door half an hour after I was done getting ready, "Mitchie is ready now." She said with a wink, motioning for me to walk out to see her. I moved into the large entryway of my living room where Mitchie was standing just at the far end of the room, her hair pinned up in tight curls, blue rhinestones and pins gleaming in her hair. Her ears were accentuated with pears and as she walked towards me, I'd admired her dazzling shoes once more. I didn't admire her body until she was standing in front of me. I took both of her hands in mine and kissed them. I heard a camera go off and turned to see Kenzie taking photos with her IPhone, smiling proudly at her work.
"Ignore me, keep doing what you're doing." Kenzie told us, as chipper as ever. Mitchie's smile was even more beautiful than usual when her lips were printed with a soft lipstick. I took that moment to admire her body; I stepped back and used the hand that still held hers to twirl her around so I could get a perfect view. The dress hugged her in all the right places and I desperately wanted to just keep her in my house because I knew that everyone would be looking at her tonight, admiring her, in awe of her; she had no idea.
After twirling her, I brought her close to kiss her, where yet again, Kenzie snapped a few photos. "You're breathtaking." I told her with a wink. She admired me next. I loved the way her eyes gazed over my body, it made my chest heave.
"You look as dashing as ever. Shall we head out now?" I agreed, holding her hand in mine, "Now Kenzie, no posting that online." I told her with a smirk as we passed her to head to the doors. She gave me a soft look, "Did you already post them?" She shrugged, "I'm sorry. I figured you didn't care." I began to speak but Mitchie stepped forward.
"You did an amazing job and you deserve to show us off. It's okay, Kenzie. Thanks again for helping me out." Kenzie hugged Mitchie tightly and whispered something in her ear. Mitchie smiled and nodded. I loved the way her hair bobbed as she shook her head, it was adorable.
Once we got into the limo, I made sure that Mitchie knew some of the questions she would be asked in case we got separated. "Kenzie told you about the designer questions right?" Mitchie nodded her head. "Yeah, she basically gave me the whole run down and possible questions. I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I kissed her hand warmly and soothingly.
"James is going to be there to guide us through the pictures and everything since Lance is working pretty hard with all the paperwork out of town." Mitchie nodded, watching me in awe.
I knew that we had about half an hour until we arrived to the award show and I knew that we could spare a few minutes before picture if need be. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I needed to ask Mitchie if there was anything she was hiding from me. I just had that horrible feeling knotting at my heart. "Mitchie, I was wondering." She looked at me with a soft gaze, I struggled trying to stay focused and not attack her with kisses. God, she was so damn beautiful. I kissed her hand gently, giving me time to recover my train of thought, "I know that we've talked about a lot of things and I was admiring how amazing these past few weeks have been with you and I can't help but think it's too good to be true. What I'm wondering is, have you told me everything about you? You haven't murdered anyone have you?" I gave her a soft wink to try to lighten the mood a little. She became uneasy in her seat. Her eyes looked downward, she turned her head slightly away from me and she began tapping her feet on the floor of the car.
"I've made my mistakes, Shane. Some I'm not too proud of." Mitchie eyed me carefully, and I could see it in her eyes that she was scared to share her secret with me.
"No matter what you've done Michelle, I will always love you." She drew in a quick breath, "You love me?" Shit. Did I just say that? Well this is not in any way romantic. I wanted to tell Mitchie in a better way than this. Ugh.
I shrugged and grabbed her hands and cupped them in mine, I pivoted myself towards her, "I didn't want to say it like this. But I guess fate just has a way for things to happen." I kissed her lips softly, admiring the taste of her lip gloss as I pulled away, "Yes, Michelle, I love you. You're a beautiful woman and you're by far the first person in my life I've loved like this, the first person I've been afraid of losing. When I think of losing you, my chest seems to get this gaping hole in it. And I know that no matter what you have done or what you'll do, I love you. Your past especially won't change my love for you." I could tell she was trying to not cry and I saw a faint smile on her lips.
"We're almost there, Mr. Gray." My driver told me.
"Five more minutes, please. Feel free to drive around the block once more." He put the car in drive and made a turn around the road.
"I told you about Trace. But I didn't tell you everything." Mitchie and I hadn't talked about him since the plane ride, I knew that was a part of her past and I was only determined to help her move on from it, and bringing it up, I knew, would only make the memories come flooding back.
"You can tell me anything, beautiful." Mitchie bit her lip as I spoke those words, she grabbed my hands and kissed each of them, "I became pregnant with Trace's kid when I was sixteen." I tried so hard to not make any expression or movements that would worry her, but I was so damn stunned. I took a deep breath in, and god only knows how I kept my cool.
"And?" I said shakily. She bit her lip again, "I had an abortion six weeks in. I took this pill because I couldn't go in to surgically get it done. It was the worst experience ever. I killed my baby and then had to feel my body rid of him or her. That night Trace picked up and left out of town." I pulled Mitchie into my arms; I regret having that wary feeling, I feel like if I would've kept my mouth shut she wouldn't have to be reliving this pain. Although, I feel like this is going to bring us closer; how could it not?
"It was a mistake. But I still love you no matter what." I told her, kissing her cheeks and wiping away a tear. "Shane" I stopped her, pressing a finger to her lips, "I don't want you telling me you love me yet." She put her head down in defeat. "I know you don't love me. That's okay. Tell me when you're good and ready. And I won't mention a word until you do, okay?" She kissed my lips, pulling me closer to her. I let my tongue slip easily into her mouth and was thrilled when Mitchie's composure unstiffened.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her as we came to a stop once again. She put on her usual smile and I became instantly worried. If she could fake her smile that well, had she ever faked it for me before? The more I watched her fake smile and her facial features, I could see that her eyes weren't her usual gaze and I realized I'd never seen her eyes look that way. I smiled to myself knowing that she'd never faked a smile with me.
"I need to do this, for you." She said softly, holding my hand tightly. I opened the door and exited promptly, helping her out of the car next. When I looked onto the carpet, all of the cameras were pointed towards us and several interviewers approached us as we stepped on to the carpet.
"Shane, rumors have it that you've bought Freedom Records, is that true?" Jean, one of the usual celeb interviewers questioned me.
"Yeah, James had mentioned that he wanted to settle down with his family and I took it as an opportunity to broaden my career a little more. It gives me some more time to experience new things in the business world and really get to find new artists and help them live out their dreams."
"And Mitchie, how have you adjusted to living in the spotlight now that you and Shane are an item?" Mitchie smiled that fake smile, but only I could really tell, she pulled it off really well.
"I love being here to support Shane and living in the spotlight isn't something I've had a hard time adjusting to. I just have to triple check myself now before I walk out my door but other than that, not too much has been different." Mitchie joked effortlessly. She was a good actress too because I knew every word out of her mouth was a lie, but she sure knew what she was playing. I was proud of her for that.
"Well you two have an amazing time tonight." Jean said kindly, letting us walk on to the carpet for pictures.
On the carpet, in front of the cameras, Mitchie and I joked and laughed as if no one was watching. It was so much better than being alone on the carpet. I held her waist tightly as she leaned against me for pictures, both of us smiling and laughing. "These heels are killing me." She said, and to my surprise, leaned down and unhooked them. I chuckled and shook my head, she was sure something else. The cameras started flashing more rapidly when she did that. She held them on her finger tips and playfully put them over her shoulder on one of the poses. I laughed and moved her down the carpet.
James met us in the crowd of other celebrities where they were meeting fans and being interviewed. "Having fun you two?" He asked kindly. We both said yes as he walked us to a group of fans waiting behind metal barricades.
A few fans reached out to me and James kindly asked them to refrain from reaching over the barricade so they wouldn't accidentally tip it over or hurt themselves. I took a few pictures with some fans and signed several autographs. One young girl in particular, who wasn't able to see over the barricade, asked me if I would take a picture of her and Mitchie together. I told her that she could come over to our side so she would actually be able to stand with her. She was only six or seven and I saw what must've been her mother in tears at my generosity. Her mother picked her up and I took her from her mother and gently placed her on the ground. Mitchie was standing off to the side talking to Emma Roberts, laughing and smiling as if she was just a casual friend. Her mother shakily handed me a camera to take the pictures with. I thanked her.
"Wanna walk over to her sweetie?" I asked the young girl. She nodded her head and smiled widely. I held out my hand for her to grab it and she held on to my ring and pinky finger with her small, delicate hands. Several of the photographers came closer and James and a few other managers had to ask them to back away for the safety of the young girl. When I reached Mitchie, she smiled down at the girl sweetly, saying goodbye to Emma.
"Well hello there pretty lady, what's your name?" Mitchie kneeled down to talk to the young girl. She smiled and gave her a hug. "My name's Alexis. You're really pretty and my big sister always talks about how lucky Shane is to have you as his girlfriend and I just wanted to hug you and tell you that you're pretty and I love you." Mitchie kissed the young girl's cheek and I made a point of taking a picture of it with the camera her mother gave me. Mitchie then picked her up and held her on her hip, "Smile okay?" The little girl smiled along with Mitchie and I took another perfect picture of the two of them.
When I walked Alexis back to her mother, I asked her mother if the two of them would like to have seats in the audience that night. Her mother was stunned and thanked me graciously. "Are you sure? It wouldn't be a bother would it?" I shook my head, "I wouldn't have offered if it was going to cause trouble. It's just two seats."
Little did I know that finding two seats would be harder than I expected.
"What do you mean there's no seats left? You can't find two measly seats in this whole arena? Just two?!" I questioned the backstage reps. They apologized again.
"Can they stay backstage then?" The stage rep shook his head, "Shane, this is really causing a hassle." I sighed, "You know what, they can take Mitchie and I's seats. We'll stay back here then." The stage rep looked at me stunned. "You would do that for a fan?" I rolled my eyes, "Yeah. And that little girl isn't just a fan. She's more special to me than that."
It aggravated me when people didn't understand that my fans weren't just fans. They were like my family. They supported me, told me when I was doing wrong, guided me and loved me. That little girl loved me and loved Mitchie and I couldn't have asked for a better support than that.
When my name was called for winning the best music video of the year for my new single, I hugged Mitchie and kissed her cheek, and then turned to the little girl sitting beside us; the stage crew had managed to get two seats for Alexis and her mother once they'd realized the importance of her being there with Mitchie and I. I asked Alexis if she would like to join me on stage. She nodded happily, grabbing my hand. She walked with me eagerly, jumping up and down excitedly. When I got on stage and grabbed my award, I handed it to Alexis to hold. I then picked Alexis up, holding her against my hip, walking to the mic for my speech.
"Hey everyone. This here is Alexis. I met this beautiful young lady outside and brought her in for the show. This young girl right here is why I do what I do. She's one of millions of reasons why I continue to make my music videos and make my music. Alexis supports me but she also supports my choices." I turned to her and smiled, she smiled back, admiring the trophie in her hands, "Alexis, tell everyone what you said to me when I first saw you outside." She looked up at me, her eyebrows drawing up and her lip curling as if she were thinking hard. "I asked to meet Mitchie. I told her she was pretty and I loved her." I chuckled and a few 'awwws' escaped through the audience. "Thank you Alexis for being here tonight to remind me that my girl needs to be loved and adored. Mitchie, this one's for you, for supporting me and letting me do what I do best. And thank you to my fans, who really ought to be my family. You've all been here from the beginning and I wish I could kiss every one of you. Thanks to all of you for voting. Enjoy your night."
I don't know what point I was trying to make with my thank-you speech other than Mitchie wasn't just a girl, I wanted to prove she was more than that to me, and Alexis wasn't just a fan. I felt like the world needed to see that I didn't few things as they thought I did. And I knew my words wouldn't have been enough had I not brought Alexis on stage. I know she captured the audience for me, and for that, I let her keep my trophy, I even signed it for her just as long as her and her mother promised to never sell it. When I left with Mitchie later that night, I could see her beautiful smile once again, her real smile, and I was thankful for that. I wasn't trying to bring it out, I didn't want to push it, but I'm glad that she was smiling in no time. I know that yet again, Alexis had a key part in it. And that's another reason why my fans were more than just fans. If they cared about Mitchie, they could make her smile too, and if they could do that when I couldn't, then that meant all the world to me and more.
I played in the park after the show where a few hundred fans watched and sang along. I hadn't played in over a month and it was so amazing to do it again. I loved the rush and the adrenaline. I missed the feeling of the fans smiling up at me, singing to my lyrics, I couldn't express the joy I felt with them all there, no matter the few. I welcomed the feeling like a rush of wind. I welcomed it as if it was going to be the last time.
"Thanks for an incredible show tonight, I love you guys so much. I'll see you on the road soon!" I walked off stage with tears in my eyes and Mitchie greeted me with a warm, passionate kiss. "Shane, I love you." I brought her in my arms and twirled her around, "I love you too Michelle." She pulled out the sharpie, "Can I have that in writing?" She winked at me playfully. Even dressed back in to her casual clothing, I saw a different glow on her face, as if I was seeing her for the first time. She was so breath taking and I loved admiring her.
After dropping Mitchie off at home, I returned to my house to quiet and bareness. As I settled into bed and after calling Mitchie to say a quick goodnight, I ended the night with my first tweet in a few days: "When I can't, you make my girl smile like Alexis did; love & cherish her. I promise to love and cherish you all the same. I love her." I didn't care the controversy or the rumors that were about to come, I was talking to my fans, not the media, and they all deserved to know how I felt; they deserved to know that I wanted them to love her and make her happy when I was gone, I wanted them to know that when I wasn't there for her, they should be, when I was a thousand miles away, one of them would remind her I was still loyal. I didn't want them to tear her down, I wanted them to build her up. I know my fans, I know they are loyal to me; I just wanted them to know that this wasn't just about me anymore, Mitchie was a piece of my life now, and with being loyal and respectful to me, they were to do the same to her. That's all I wanted.
