Chapter Twelve: Battled
Every time that voice grated on his nerves, or that petulant scowl appeared on his features Snape wanted to smack him. He wanted to hex the boy into next year, he wanted to transform him into something gruesome, make him relive his darkest dreams. But then her face always appeared.
She always came back to haunt him, to remind him of what he was fighting for. To remind him why he was still a triple spy to both sides of the war.
He hated how she held so much power over him, how one single memory could change his entire composure.
Most of all, he hated what she made him promise. How could he possibly look after a boy he loathed? Snape wasn't fond of Harry Potter, he was too much like his father.
Every comment and grin reminded Severus of James Potter and it sickened him. For Lily's child, he was so strikingly different to her -- and the only thing he seemed to inherit were her captivating green eyes.
He had loved her eyes, her long, red hair and that beautiful smile that crossed her face when they were playing together. It was quite simple to conclude that Snape loved Lily.
That was what made everything so difficult, it was what made everything some sort of battle. It wasn't a battle against Potter, Dumbledore or Voldemort, though.
It was a battle against himself, within himself. Everyday he questioned what he was doing, whether he was doing the right thing.
"You don't have to call me 'sir', professor." The words echoed through Snape's ears and he shut his eyes in an effort to maintain his self-control. Oh how he wanted to kill the boy right there and then.
And yet, she reminded him. She reminded him of his promise, of how much he loved her. It was hell.
Everyday he wanted to leave it all, to run away, but everyday he would overcome it.
Problem was, that was only half the battle.
~*~*~*~
It's being left off quite abruptly with an open ending. It can be accepted as canon, but whatever.
I'm kinda like it.... I've got to go do my homework now, so adios! ;)
Reviews appreciated.
xCNx
