Author's Note: Um, I should have done this a long time ago, but I give a big thank you to SSJ4 Goku. She probably hasn't even looked at this fic, but I drew a great deal of inspiration from her story "Almost Paradise" and its sequels. Not that Goku and Cell are going to get together (highly doubtful, as I doubt my ability to write romance in general, and yaoi in particular) but the whole dynamic between the two is a great read. Recommended unless yaoi squicks you (it's not really yaoi anyway, as anything beyond kissing isn't shown.) A thank you to Daggot for the inspiring review. As for chapter nine, I don't hate Chichi. In fact, she should have gotten with someone else in those seven years. You don't go seven years as a widow and not date anyone. I hate all the old jokes they made about her during the Buu saga when she's really like thirty-six or something. This chapter turned out. . . disturbing, and finally earns this story its PG-13 rating. By the way, Nione is pronounced nee-oh-nay. It's a play on onion, for whoever was wondering.

Despite the fact that Gohan in the recesses of his soul heartily enjoyed fighting, his upbringing had led him to more scholarly pursuits. Not that he minded all that much. Warriors were only truly necessary when something was happening that ended up with people dead, and that was the last thing Gohan wanted. Despite the strictness of his mother's teaching, Gohan had somewhere along the line started to enjoy learning, and luckily he possessed as much aptitude for learning as he did for fighting. Gohan, while not a genius, certainly had been blessed with a great deal more brains than most people. Therefore, less than two seconds after Cell had shown up in heaven, the demi-saiyan's mind had already started to put the pieces of the puzzle together. It didn't take much longer than that for the entire picture to reveal itself.

Cell, on the other hand, was a genius due to a mixture of the DNA of Gero and Briefs, and somewhere along the line, there had been a completely accidental insertion of an eidetic memory. He knew the ramifications of Gohan being dead, though unfortunately there were two unpredictable variables; namely Gohan and Goku. He tried to analyze the situation impartially.

Fact 1: Destroying Gohan's soul and dooming him to oblivion would be even more idiotic than sentencing him to Hell, therefore preferred reaction was unfeasible. Fact 2: Gohan hated his guts, and wasn't likely to act reasonable under the circumstances. Fact 3: Gohan wouldn't be protecting anyone if he decided to let his emotions rule him, and the only one of the brat's allies present was his father, who the demi-saiyan most likely wasn't very happy with, so the brat was less likely to hold onto his mental facilities. Fact 4: Goku was unreliable as an ally, as the problem in question was his son, and should be regarded as a neutral party at best, enemy at worst. Fact 5: No one else who was currently dead had enough power to make a difference in a fight either way besides Pikkon. Fact 6: Pikkon liked Goku better than him, so should be regarded the same way (see fact 4). Fact 7: Gohan's saiyan side was only nominally under the demi-saiyan's control in the best of circumstances, and this wasn't the best of circumstances. Fact 8: Though he was eligible to hit back if physically attacked, Gohan was at their last encounter more powerful than he was by a great enough margin that if the boy had trained, he was very possibly going to have his soul extinguished. Fact 9: Gohan's saiyan side was so feral it made Cell's blood run cold at the very memory of their last encounter on Earth. Fact 10: Screw facts, he was going to be torn apart by the soul of a psychotic hybrid adolescent, and the closest thing he had to a friend was going to watch.

Goku wasn't a genius. He also wasn't stupid, no matter what most of his friends thought, but his intuition was mostly limited to fighting. His thought processes in regards to conversation were more of a connect the dots process than a puzzle, but several things stood out clearly in his mind: Gohan hated Cell, Cell hated Gohan, Gohan was less rational as a whole than Cell, and last, but certainly most important. . . when Gohan let himself go, what stood in his place wasn't Gohan, but a cold-blooded and cruel monster who would torture his enemy for the sole reason of wanting to hear him scream.

Several things happened at once, as all these thoughts had taken place in something less than thirty seconds. Gohan's eyes narrowed, and the demi-saiyan's aura began to pulsate red. Cell stepped back into fighting stance rather reminiscent of Vegeta's, though his face was set in lines that seemed to mirror Piccolo's at his most fatalistic. And Goku stepped forward, but only managed to say one word before the ability to breath was stolen from him by a power blast that had slammed into his chest. . . and then through it. "Gohan. . .?"

--*--

The world seemed to tilt sideways as Cell watched Goku's corpse fall to the ground. There were different degrees of surprise really, the analytical and emotionless side of his brain noted. First there was. . . and then that half of the android's brain shut down as he watched the body of the only pure-hearted saiyan to ever exist bounce slightly once, then settle as the blood continued to pool around him. (There shouldn't be blood. He's already dead. He's already. . .) A light chuckle sounded, and dragged Cell out of his stupor. "You know," the voice said conversationally, "I read once that adult humans have only five liters of blood in their entire bodies." The voice grinned. "It looks like saiyans have more." The analytical side of Cell's brain rebooted, and finally screamed at him what the other side, the emotional part that actually thought things should turn out a certain way, wouldn't acknowledge. The voice was Gohan. Goku's son.

"You did me a favor, you know. I've been trying to get out for years, but this body was only able to handle me for short periods of time, and unfortunately as it grew, my other half managed to shut me up pretty tight. If you hadn't come along, why," the grin didn't change, but the eyes. . . "I might have never gotten out. And then of course, those bothersome friends allowed him to drag me back to my prison, but it seems he didn't do such a good job this time. All it took was one little push. . . one appearance by his most hated enemy, and this time. . . see how he likes being shut in a box." Cell finally found his voice. "You're not Gohan." The emerald eyes met his own. The grin intensified.

"Of course I am. We have met before. Remember, android? Back on Earth? I remember you. Your blood didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. Well, I guess being a biological android is good for something after all. Of course, my memory could be playing tricks on me. I'd better make sure." The soul that was not Gohan moved. Cell had been expecting it, but even so, he barely managed to block one fist before the other struck, driving into his stomach with a force that probably ruptured several organs. Reflexively, the android felt himself stagger forward, and before he could stop himself, he coughed. Drops of blood splattered on a face less than a few inches from his own. Falling onto one knee, holding himself up with one hand, he heard a sigh, then, "I suppose my memory is correct. You do taste quite wonderful." (Where is everyone? Why is no one stopping this?!) "What? No response? I remember you being quite vocal back on Earth. Your screams. . . they were almost as marvelous as your taste." After a fit of coughing he could not suppress, Cell found his voice. "Why did you kill Goku? Your father, he. . ." Amusement. "Android, I know he is my father. He is my father far more than he is of my other half. Or rather, 'was.' We saiyans kill our fathers when they grow to be an annoyance. Goku, well. He would have interfered. Like he tried to interfere back on Earth. I won't tolerate that again."

The soul bent over, and lightly took a hold of Cell's chin, pulling it up to meet the ice-green eyes that Cell had tried to eradicate from his memories for so long. "Besides, he was already dead. Killed by you, as I recall. No, android, what I did to the saiyan Goku is far worse than death. No dragon balls will take him back from where my father is going." The grip on his chin tightened. "Though what I did to him is nothing compared to what I am going to do to you." "No matter what you say, you are not Gohan." "No, I suppose you didn't hate Gohan all the much, despite what you thought. It was me you feared and loathed. I suppose I should give you the courtesy of naming your hate. You may call me Nione. He was the original super-saiyan. Most appropriate, don't you think?"

Elsewhere. . .
He tasted blood. Coppery, only slightly thicker than water, the taste made him smile. The blood wasn't his own.