Oh my god, if I'd known MKA would be liked this much...I would have eaten my celebratory muffin.
But seriously. Thanks for all the nice reivews guys! One person is even saying this is the best fic I've ever written! Though, I'm not sure about that, I think Savior Returns still tops the charts. Anyway, have a good Thanksgiving, and for those who don't celebrate it, then have a good day anyway!
~Cel
Chapter Twelve: Home, Sweet Dark, Drafty Cavern.
Nemo was holding onto Marlin's fin with his good one, looking quite content as he and his two most favorite men in the whole world went out on the little outing. As Gill swam up to paddle along on Nemo's other side, the little clownfish lifted his lucky fin, pointing it in the direction of the Moorish Idol beside him. Gill was confused, for Nemo didn't put his fin down. So he wasn't stretching it. Did he want Gill to take it? No, nonsense, that fin was far too delicate.
However, much against his better judgment, as well as not wanting to upset the child, Gill reached forward with his intact pectoral fin and hesitantly touched the delicate lucky fin. Surprisingly enough, Nemo latched on, and was holding the much larger fin of the much larger fish. Gill did not pull away, or try to correct the lad. Instead he swam along in silence, still in shock. The little one had grown up so much since the time he had left the tank.
"Wow, Sharkbait. Strong grip you've got there." Gill said, a single ruby eye glancing down at Nemo with a slight grin on his face. Nemo beamed up at him proudly.
"Yeah! I practiced and practiced and swam just like you told me. I even beat my friend Tad in a race!" Nemo proclaimed, his sparkling orange eyes wide and bright. Gill grinned down at him, giving a friendly wink that made Nemo giggle. Marlin was looking from the side, glancing anxiously at the fish who had dared to touch his son's delicate lucky fin. However, what Nemo had said was true. With the lessons he claimed he had learned from the strange, fierce-looking Moorish Idol, Nemo had built up a great amount of strength in the otherwise useless, crippled pectoral. He could swim in a straight line now, and had very few tripping accidents these days. Marlin had held the precious fin on several occasions, but now…but now this stranger was acting like he was Nemo's big brother or Uncle Joe or something. It made him extremely uncomfortable. Yet, he didn't say a word to the fish that looked like he could snap him up with one swift bite. Marlin had seen the teeth inside of those elongated jaws. He would not want to be on the business end of them.
Gill covertly glanced sideways, catching a nervous glance from the corner of his eye. The poor clownfish quickly looked away, focusing his gaze on the path ahead, wherever he was leading the old Idol. Gill understood how the clownfish father was feeling. He suddenly had to deal with this freakish-looking, mysterious stranger suddenly arriving on the reef, invading his family, and palling around with the boy – his son! – who seemed to simply adore him. What a completely foolish thing to do. Nemo was only eight, but surely he had more sense than that. Gill knew what he looked like. The tank's glass walls were extremely reflective (hence the birth of Deb's "sister"), and he had seen his shredded body uncountable times over the years he was stuck in that thrice-be-damned glass prism. He knew he looked like the kind of fish that lurked in the shadowy corners of the ocean, hidden in dark trenches. They preyed on weaker fishes, and were ruthless with their victims. Usually these fish were ones that lived in darkness, like vicious viperfish. Or there was the occasional lionfish that enjoyed wreaking havoc on a local neighborhood.
Though Gill knew he was not like that, and knew very few fish who were, he also knew that Marlin had no idea. He was still protective of his only son, as he should be. It was right for him to fear the Idol. After all, he was pretty frightening. His face was old and wrinkled. His dark eyes were an ominous red, like rubies as Peach had once called it. His teeth were razor sharp (as Idols grazed algae and small animals off of rocks to eat for lunch). His scars and crippled fin made it look like he had been in a fight with a barracuda. His voice was that of ice and rocks all mixed into one, like those blended energy shakes the dentist's receptionist had often brought to work. Marlin had excuses to be anxious with this huge fish around his still-tiny son.
And yet, Gill realized that Nemo was still holding tight to his fin, swimming along and talking excitedly to his father about something the Idol couldn't quite pick up. He was too immersed in his thoughts to even see where they were going. Worse, as Nemo's tiny little fin seemed to give the tiniest squeeze, Gill was struck with more memories that refused to be barricaded behind the blockade he had set firmly within his mind. The memory was of fins – little fins, almost exactly like his own, but much smaller. He remembered holding those fins. He remembered pulling the owner of the fins into his own, throwing him into the air and watching him as he gently floated back down. It was those memories that he would always cherish, but couldn't think about now. He was home now, after many long years of waiting and hoping. Now it was his time to live out the rest of his life…
"Well, here it is." Marlin said, shattering the older man's reverie. He had been so deeply immersed within his thoughts that he hadn't noticed that they had arrived at Marlin's intended destination. Gill blinked and looked up to see the coral had changed to smooth, hard rock. The wide span of pulsating blue was laid out before him, a vast, infinite reach of water that would take you to the ends of the earth. It was the edge of the reef, where few fish dared venture beyond. What Marlin was pointing at was a rocky outcropping, curving gently out into the open water. The curved rock was hollowed out, probably by the never-ending current that drifted by the three fish. The cavern was quite big, and wide. It was covered with seagrass and moss, drifting gently in the interlocking streams of water. A thin layer of kelp covered the front like a curtain. The other opening had a beautiful view of the open ocean, with just a bit of the reef for effect.
Gill released Nemo's fin and glided forward with a flick of his tail. Slowly, he entered the cavern, pushing aside the kelp with his snout. It was roomy, a little roomier than he was used to. But it was dark, like the skull he used to reside within. There was a permanent draft flowing through the cavern, almost exactly like the current that used to run through the little plastic pirate skull. However, a chill shivered throughout the fish's black, white, and yellow body. This cavern was overly familiar, and yet, it wasn't. It was almost exactly like the cavern he had lived in fifteen years ago. It had almost exactly the same shape, with the pretty seagrass flowing from the top. However, he knew it wasn't the same one. There wasn't a window carved into the side where he could see out into the world and see such beautiful corals and waters that he felt he was living in paradise. There was no black scribble that would never come off, from young ages and young fins seizing a seaweed quill. There was no pair of busy, elegant fins working away at the grass at the top of the cavern, braiding it to look more decorative. It was also much smaller than the last one. Of course, the last one had housed more residents…
Gill slid backwards out of the cavern, then turning to look at Marlin and Nemo, who were quietly floating to the side, waiting for the Idol's reaction to his possible new home. He grinned gently, winking in a friendly manner to Marlin.
"It's just perfect. Y'know, for an old bachelor like me." Gill said cheerfully, though the sentence seemed to tear at him like a knife. "It's just what I needed. A good home, thanks a lot, Marlin. You just saved me a heap of trouble. It's a pretty big reef after all." Gill said, swimming up to the two. Marlin smiled hesitantly at him, still looking a little anxious, but a bit more relaxed than before. Gill knew he had to keep trying to play the good guy. He didn't need to impress anyone. He could scare the scales off of anyone if he wanted to. But if he was going to live here, then he had to start playing nice. It would be a load of bull shark to try and live with neighbors that hated you. Right now, he seriously didn't want that. Especially just after finding and reuniting with Nemo once again. If the little guy wanted him in his life, well, then he would do the best he could without upsetting Daddy.
"This is so cool! You're really close to my drop-off and my home! You can visit us any time you want to! Well, I guess except when we are asleep…" Nemo said, adding the last sentence thoughtfully. Gill chuckled. He was such a smart kid. He moved aside slightly as Nemo darted into his new home, eagerly curious and wanting to check out his friend's new living quarters.
"Now, Nemo! That's rude – you can't just burst through someone's door!" Marlin gently scolded his son, waving the tip of his fin in Nemo's direction. The sheepish, round face of the boy peeked back through the kelp curtain, his lower lip slightly sticking out in a pout. He hated being in trouble, even if it was just a minor thing like this, and Marlin wasn't even truly mad at him. Gill, however, waved a consoling fin in Marlin's direction.
"It's fine, Marlin. I don't mind the kid. He's curious, likes to check things out. Am I right?" Gill said, looking down to Nemo with a crafty grin on his long snout.
"Yes, and that is what got him captured in the first place." Marlin said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. However, the good-natured clownfish was smiling widely, looking more at ease than Gill had ever seen him. Perhaps he was winning over the father after all. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad here. Perhaps, maybe, he could stay for a little while, get used to the reef once more…
"This is a ton better than that creepy skull." Nemo said, swimming out of the cavern and giving a little shudder. Gill reached forward and gave Nemo a friendly little poke, right under the fin. The little clownfish boy giggled as the Idol tickled him.
"But it reflected my creepiness nicely." Gill replied, pulling his lips back and baring his razor sharp teeth in what was a guaranteed creepy look. Nemo, however, was unfazed by this, and to him, Gill only looked a little silly.
"Only at first. Then you were my best friend." Nemo said, casting his mentor a huge grin. Gill's expression softened, and he blinked.
"Well…thanks, kid." He said, unsure of what to say. Nobody had ever addressed him like that since the days of his best friend, that queen angelfish. All these years later, he found that he couldn't even remember his name. It was something like Bobby, or Joey, something along those lines. That was so long ago, and all these years later, a little eight-year old was calling him his best friend. It was just funny how life worked out in such unusual ways…
"Oooooohhh, Martini, Lalo, Will! Oh, no, hold on. That isn't quite right. Oh…hey, you guys!" The unmistakable singsong voice rang throughout the reef, announcing the arrival of the blue tang even before she emerged from behind a tall coral structure, her wide claret eyes shining bright and her smile even brighter as she searched for her friends, old and new. Though, she knew she had gotten their names wrong again, and mumbled a bit to herself, trying to figure out the real names of their companions. Eventually she gave up, which was perfectly fine for the three. Marlin and Nemo were quite used to their names being butchered by the forgetful tang (the clownfish often found themselves being called after food items, even). Gill found this to be quite amusing, and found that he didn't really mind his name being mixed up. Though, as she called him Will, an image of his wrinkled-faced, irate but loving father, William briefly flashed in his mind's eye.
"I was a-lookin' everywhere for you three! Can't leave old Dory behind, now can yah?" Dory said, ever-bright and cheerful. Gill thought in amusement that if the tang's being was any more brighter, she would outshine the sun and could light up the whole reef with her happiness and love.
"Dory hates being left out of things." Marlin said to Gill, and Dory nodded in extreme agreement, placing her fins on her sides and giving a strict, sharp nod, looking quite serious. She looked down her freckled nose at Marlin, the little clownfish unfazed by her bizarre…well, bizarre-ness.
"That is because I am the auntie here. I am part of this little family thing we've got goin', and family means no one gets left behind. Or forgotten behind. And I wanna see whatcha guys are doing! Ooh, finding friend a new home? A cave? So cool! Remember, swim through it, not over it! Oops, hold on, wrong information….umm, enjoy your new home! Wait, that's what it is, right? Looks like it! Mar…lin and Carlos…I mean, Nemo, live in a big orange anemone that they say I can't come inside of. Because if I do I could get hurt real bad. Cause anemone's are picky little things and only like clownfish and don't like us other fishes, even if we are Regal tangs." Dory rambled off, talking aimlessly. It seemed it didn't matter if she was talking to Gill, or to all three fish. She seemed to just like to talk, and would have a conversation with just about any fish (mammals and reptiles included) she could find in the ocean. Gill found that, surprisingly, he was growing rather fond of this little blue fish, although she was nearly a complete opposite of him.
"Yes, and Dory, how many times must I explain it? We love you and don't want to hurt you. You're still part of the family, you just don't have the clownfish part." Marlin said, and Dory nodded thankfully.
"I don't think orange is my color. I look more natural in blue, don't you think?" Dory said, turning in different directions to examine her shimmering cerulean body, striped black with a few splashes of yellow. She muttered something about "two pesky ounces I just can't get rid of…" and Marlin chuckled gently, with Nemo putting his fin over his mouth to suppress his giggles. Dory was so very silly at times.
Gill, however, was not laughing at all. He was floating to the side, forgotten and silent, watching the three fish through solemn, dark eyes. He felt like he wasn't really there – like he was peering through a window into a different world. He was merely allowed a glance at these fish's lives. They made up the example of a happy, loving family. Though Dory did not share the same species as her clownfish companions, she was still as strongly bonded to the two boys as any female clownfish could be. Nemo adored her with all of his heart, and Gill knew that familiar shine in Marlin's eyes whenever he looked at the blue tang.
Gill knew that he could never have that again, the sense and meaning of family. This is where the three belonged. They had taken a journey together to discover lessons of life and love. He was not there with them. Who did he think he was? Just barging into the reef and expecting to be accepted into a complete and loving family with open fins. How idiotic was he? This had been his home once, but that had all changed. He was different now than he was fifteen years ago. But now? He seriously began to doubt he could call this home anymore. He didn't really belong anywhere any longer. It was almost like he didn't exist anymore.
Why had he come to the reef anyways? To think he was going home? The Tank Gang now had their own lives to live, new friends to meet. Bloat was probably out searching for a lady pufferfish right at this moment. He was no longer their leader. Gill knew that he could never again achieve the peaceful harmony that symbolized a family unit, like the one before him. So what had been the point….?
"Gill? Hey, Gill?" Marlin asked, waving a fin to try and recapture the Idol's attention. He had frozen for a few seconds, his dark red eyes staring at nothing in particular, as if he was so deeply in thought he had forgotten about the world around him. Gill blinked and shook his head. Looking up, he saw the three other fish looking up at him with curiosity and just a bit of concern.
"You froze on us, buddy! Did you turn into a fishcicle? Is this cave too cold? Could we find you a warmer cave?" Dory asked, swimming right up, slightly shoving past Marlin and nearly touching her nose to his. Gill did not back up this time. Instead, he smiled gently at Dory, thankful for her sweet concern for his old self.
"It's fine, Dory. Just thinking." Gill replied, reassuring the young tang. She beamed at him, looking relieved, and skipped away (seeing a blue tang woman skip was quite amusing, and Dory did so as if it was an art). Marlin instead took her place, but not so close of course. He cleared his throat and looked up at the Idol.
"It's almost dinnertime for the three of us. Do you know where to get food? We could help out…" Marlin said, but Gill held up a reassuring fin.
"I'm good. I've got food covered. Believe me, it'll be a nice change from those flakes the Boss fed us." Gill said, and Nemo gave an enthusiastic, "BLECH! Those things were so yucky." He wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue as he remembered the bland, crunchy flakes that the dentist fed them each morning and each evening, five o'clock p.m. right on the dot. Gill chuckled gently, completely agreeing with the little clownfish.
"Well, after fifteen years, you get used to the dining, kid." Gill said, and Nemo shuddered, his little nose wrinkling. He couldn't imagine being twenty-three years old (he was really good at math) and still eating such repugnant foodstuffs. He was so glad when he ate his first meal back on the reef, and would never eat the nasty brown flakes again.
"Well, if you're sure. I, uh…I suppose I will see you tomorrow. Good night, Gill." Marlin said, holding out his fin (he made sure it was the right this time). Gill took it and shook, grinning gently. Marlin returned the smile, and backed away as Nemo darted up. He swam right up to the Idol and hugged him once more. Though this time it was a happy, bouncy sort of hug, and Nemo was smiling instead of crying. Gill blinked, then closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the little clownfish to embrace him with all the love he had in his little heart. Nemo then turned and swam towards his father, taking his fin and waving back to Gill.
"Good night, Gill! See ya tomorrow!" The little clownfish lad called out over his shoulder. Dory waved as well, grinning like mad as she bade her new friend a farewell for the evening.
"Buh-bye, Gr – Gill! See yah tomorrow buddy!" She called as she caught up with her clownfish family, happily humming a nonchalant tune. Soon, they disappeared from sight, and Dory's voice faded into the swell of the waters of the quieting ocean. Gill breathed deeply, exhaling so acutely, a stream of bubbles issued from his mouth. He used to make the little lad laugh when he did that. Turning his back to the reef he had to call home for the time being, Gill swam into the cavern that was now his. His mind was troubled with what seemed like millions of thoughts, racing through his head all at once and refusing to quiet down. Gill swam into the cavern, looking all around it. It would suit him as a living space just fine. One side of the wall was partially covered in moss, a perfect spot to lie down and rest.
Gill slowly sank down to the cavern's curved floor, closing his eyes and willing for sleep to find him. In truth, he was exhausted. He had traveled many miles to make it back to the reef, and had barely slept the night before. He hadn't had a chance yet to rest – immediately after arriving he had found and reunited with Nemo, then went and met the father and Dory, and then they met each and every member of the Gang. He was damn tired after everything that had happened. He found it a little difficult to think that, only a few days ago, they had still been locked away in the tank, still dreaming about freedom in the outside world, in a world they were meant to belong in. But now, he was in the ocean, back in the reef, the place that was meant to be his home. Yet, he felt as if this place was still so far out of reach, so far out of his grasp. What had he expected to find? Peace? His body, his scarred physical form had escaped, but it seemed like his mind was still trapped within four glass walls…still unable to escape to freedom.
With these troubling thoughts, Gill found his eyes closing against his will. He ceased fighting against the darkness, and allowed sleep to finally overtake him.
