Thanks Hel, sorry about the building thing but she's fine. Really pleased you are enjoying it. As for Violet read on.
Ok so everyone has been saying about Violet so this is the chapter that deals with that
Also the comment about the nickname, so far I've been given Cherub and Cookie as replacements if you have a preference on those or another suggestion let me know.
I'll say enjoy but it's one of those chapters that have to be done. Let me know what you think
Kate
The Almost Silence
Michaela sat in her armchair and listened, to silence. Her home was silent, devoid of noise, of people. She glanced around the house, almost at a loss of what to do with herself. The house was spotless, Colleen having even waxed the floor before she returned to Philadelphia. Her place in the house had been taken over by everyone else trying to help while she recovered. Michaela knew she loved her family with every part of her being, and she cherished her friends, but she had to admit she found the peace welcoming. Even when she had been recovering upstairs she had always had her family around, they were always downstairs their voices travelling through the wooden floor, even though they had tried to be quiet, there was no way to explain to Esmee that she should be quiet, 11 month old babies did not understand that. So here she was for the first time in what felt like forever sat alone in her own home. Almost alone, as Violet was never far from her, but at this very second the seven week old baby was sleeping very peacefully in her bassinet. With no other task to do Michaela turned her attention onto the baby. It was remarkable for her to think that that the tiny baby should have only just been born, that this tiny little girl should have still been inside her until 3 days ago, that if things had gone right she may still have been pregnant with her. Yet even thought things had not gone right Violet was here, and no longer fighting to survive, she seemed to be thriving. For the first few weeks after they had brought her home, Violet had struggled and fussed, hardly gained weight, and then all of a sudden it had happened, she had filled out, gained weight. Now, at just over 6 lbs she was probably only a little bit smaller then what Michaela would have proposed her birth weight should have been instead of the miniscule 4lb 4oz she had weighed at birth. Violet had a lot of newborn characteristic still, she certainly was not as alert as Katie and Esmee had been at this age. But that was nothing, because she was here, and alive. They had been so fortunate that the baby had not suffered from apnoea; her lungs were relatively good, only a slight weakness, a faint rattle when she had been lying completely flat for a long period and was lifted up. Though none of this hampered Violet, as she vocally demonstrated her ability to cry.
Michaela sighed as her peace was shattered, Violet suddenly jerking herself awake by her arms flailing. "Oh dear," Michaela expertly lifted her youngest up. She nestled Violet in the crook of her arm, and the baby quietened almost immediately. "All better," Michaela smiled as the baby fell back to sleep in her arms. "You have a nice sleep," she stroked Violet's soft cheek. Softly she began to hum a lullaby to the baby rocking gently side to side, keeping her miracle baby calm and cosy.
Sully carefully lowered Esmee down, her feet just dipping into the creek. Instantly she gave a squeal and drew her legs up in horror at the temperature. "Not ready huh?" he lifted his daughter up away from the water and moved back to the spread out blanket where Katie was sat wrapped in a towel. He had decided to get the two youngsters out of the house to burn off some of their energy, and with the pleasant April warmth he had decided to teach them how to swim. The plan was a twofold success as he got to tire the kids out and he got them all to himself. After the endless stream of well wishers and with the older kids, it felt good to be back to normal with him watching the girls. It was almost like he could pretend that Michaela was at work and they were just killing time till she was ready to come home. It felt good to be away from the stress of the last few weeks, thought Michaela and Violet were never far from his mind.
The downside of his plan was while Esmee was quite happy to sit and watch on the blanket she was certainly not ready for the still slightly chilled water. Katie on the other hand had loved it and had mastered a simple doggy paddle and was able to swim about five yards before she had to put her feet on the bottom of the creek.
"Papa," Katie smiled as he lowered himself back onto the blanket. "I go in gain?"
"You ain't had enough?" Sully smiled at his little girl.
"Nope," Katie shook her head enthusiastically. She dropped her towel to reveal her swimming attire; a set of Brian's old long john's and crawled over to Esmee. The little girl whispered something to her little sister.
Esmee looked thoughtful, "Ah," she responded to what Katie had said to her.
"Esmee come in too," Katie informed Sully.
"She didn't like it Twink," Sully pointed out.
Katie rolled her eyes, "Papa, we sisters, we unnerstand each over. Esmee coming in."
Sully chuckled. "Alright Twink," he twisted Esmee to face him. "You ready for this Dancer?"
"Ah," Esmee smiled at him.
"Alright," Sully grinned, he followed Katie to the bank of the creek and watched her intently as she clambered in. He followed her momentarily, even thought the creek was shallow and slow moving it still came up to her waist and something could easily go wrong.
When Katie reached the centre of the creek she turned to him. "Put her in Papa," the little girl ordered holding her arms out to accept her little sister. Sully did as he was asked slowly lowering himself into the water with Esmee in his arms. "Watch me Eserme," Katie ordered just as her sister's feet touched the water. This time the baby was quiet as her skin touched the water and she remained quiet until Sully came to rest his knees on the bed of the creek. "SEE," Katie grinned at her sister.
Esmee smiled back at her and patted the rippling surface with her hands like she did when she had a bath. Little droplets splashing up, the baby giggled as she realised the water was fun.
Katie laughed as her sister made bigger and bigger splashes. The little girl copied Esmee slapping her hands against the water adding to the froth of water.
Sully chuckled and bounced slightly, Esmee giggling with delight, he transferred Esmee to sit in his elbow and held out his free arm to Katie. With a determined look on her face Katie swam the few feet to him, before grabbing his hand. Sully pulled her in the little girl squealing with excitement as she streamed through the water. With a happy laugh Sully brought her to a stop on his knee, both his girls in his arms, and bobbed up and down with them, almost dancing in the water.
"Papa dis is fun," Katie told him with a fierce hug. "We do dis again."
"We sure will," Sully kissed her wet hair.
"Good," Katie sighed. "Papa?"
"Yes Twink?"
"Fink Mama and Vylet come next time?" Katie looked hopeful.
Sully kissed both the girls softly, "Maybe. How bout we go get some cake from Grace's?"
"Cake." Katie's eyes went wide. "Yeah Papa!" She slithered out of his arms and started wading to the shore. "We race."
"Race?" Sully followed her, watching her every step.
"Yup," Katie gave him a beaming smile. "winner gets biggest piece!"
"How are we racing?" Sully asked as she reached the bank.
"Gettin dressed," Katie scurried across to the blanket.
"Tell ya what," Sully followed her and deftly wrapped Esmee in a towel. "If you get dressed before I get Esmee and me dressed then you get the biggest piece. If we're ready first we all get the same size piece."
Katie thought for a few moments, "Deawl."
Michaela braced herself for the cry as the book fell to the floor with a thud. She gave a sigh of relief as the noise appeared to not have scared Violet, the baby staring contently at the mobile that Cloud Dancing had given her as a present, the hand carved wooden animals hanging from the stand that meant she and Sully could position the brightly coloured toy over whatever baby bed Violet was placed in. Michaela carefully bent down to retrieve the book. She exhaled sharply as she stood, her stomach still feeling sore when she did too much, or bent too far as she just had. Michaela moved passed Violet's cradle towards her armchair. Distracted she hit her bare foot against the leg of the chair. The book fell from her hand to the floor as she gasped with the sharp pain in her toe. She twisted to look towards the baby, this time Violet crying with the noise, her face startled. Michaela hobbled closer to the baby and lifted her out of the cradle, "Ssh." she soothed the infant softly rubbing her back. A sickness washed over Michaela as she took in her position and the position of where she had been standing when she had first dropped the book. Carefully she sank into the chair and positioned the now snuffling Violet on her lap. Michaela forced a smile onto her face, knowing that the baby liked the expression. Slowly she removed her hands from holding the baby, Violet solely supported by her knees. Very carefully she softly clicked her fingers to the left of the baby's head; gaining no reaction she repeated the action to the right of the baby's head. This time Violet reacted, turning her head to look for the noise. Michaela's smile slipped from her face, the cold harsh feeling of dread washing over her. She clicked her fingers on the left again. No reaction. Michaela lifted the baby and rose, quickly depositing her in the cradle she moved 3 ft left of the handmade bed and softly called the baby's name. Getting no reaction she moved to the other side of the cradle at the same distance of 3 ft spoke her name in the same measured way, "Violet."
The baby responded slightly turning her head towards Michaela's voice. Michaela took two steps forward and repositioned Violet's head so that it was looking up at the mobile directly above her. Violet duly placed she moved to the right of the cradle this time stopping at a distance of 2 yards away. "Violet," Michaela spoke in the same, pitch, volume and tone as before. There was no reaction from the baby. "Violet," she repeated her daughter's name slightly louder than before. Again no reaction. She took a step forward now about 5 ft from the bassinet, "Violet." Michaela clasped her hand to her mouth as the baby did not react. She clenched her other hand to her stomach, her slendering body shaking with the force of the violent sobs that claimed her. Finding herself without air Michaela took a messy breath. The oxygen gave her a burst of energy and she rushed at the bassinet, lifting Violet and clutching the baby tight to her, "Oh my sweet angel," Michaela whispered, as she sobbed into Violet's torso, "My poor sweet angel."
Brian pulled the lever again to print the paper. With expert ease he completed the process lifting the page to place it on the rack in order that it could dry. Normally when he arrived Monday after school he would find the front and back pages printed and dried and he would simply set up the centre pages and begin printing those. Today was different, Dorothy was feeling unwell and her arm was hurting so only half the copies were printed. So, he had to work doubly fast to get the pages done so that he could get the papers out on time. He cast a worried look at Dorothy as he set the next piece of paper, she look sick and tired and was sat quietly in the back away from the door so that he could deal with whoever came in to ask for a story or advert. His attention was drawn to someone entering the office and he turned away from Dorothy.
"Rosemary," he smiled as the young woman stood nervously in the doorway.
"Hi Brian," she returned his greeting. "I'm sorry about your Ma and sister."
"They're fine," Brian assured her. "I woulda come seen ya but with everything."
"Oh, I understand," Rosemary smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less," she looked nervously at the floor. "Pa's at the store. We were wondering if you wanted to come to supper tonight."
"Sounds nice but I'd need to check with..." Brian started to explain.
"Sully's in the cafe with your other sisters," Rosemary blurted, she blushed red. "Sorry, I'm not spying, I went to get one of Grace's pies."
"For tonight?"
"If you come yes. Pa likes them though, it's his treat." She blushed, "I try to make it for him, but I ain't as good as Grace at pies."
"Ain't many who are," Brian pointed out. He grinned, "She's a good teacher though."
"She's teaching you?" Rosemary smiled, the expression seeming more at home on her face, like the muscles beneath her skin had gotten used to performing the expression again.
"Yep," Brian nodded. "She taught me how to make meatloaf and about seasoning and about corning meat. We're working on pies and cakes next," he pulled the lever. "I saved up for some lessons. She's a real good teacher."
"Why'd ya want cooking lessons?" Rosemary looked at the younger boy curiously.
"Thought I'd need em when I went to College," Brian muttered.
"You're going to college?" Rosemary's face fell.
Brian shook his head, "Ain't applied yet, things kinda got in the way," he smiled weakly and opened his mouth to explain further when Dorothy erupted into a hacking coughing fit. "Miss Dorothy?" he rushed towards her, closely followed by Rosemary. "Are you Ok?"
The two young adults stood nervously beside the older woman as she doubled over with the force of her cough.
Rosemary took the pitcher of water and poured her a glass. Brian took it from her and handed it to Dorothy. "Here," he caringly rubbed Dorothy's arm.
Dorothy took a ragged breath; she took a tentative sip of the water, "I'm fine. It's just a cough." Dorothy dismissed his fears.
"Maybe ya should go home," Brian pointed out. "I can finish here." He looked nervously up at Rosemary, the young girl's face showing the concern that matched his own, "Pa's in the cafe with Katie and Esmee why don't I see if he can take ya home."
"There's no need to fuss Brian," Dorothy shook her head, her cheeks still red with the force of her cough.
"I ain't fussing, sides Katie will love going to yours. All Cloud Dancin's instruments," he smiled, forcing Dorothy to do the same.
"I suppose I am a little tired," Dorothy admitted defeat.
Brian helped her stand up, he glanced at Rosemary as she hovered nervously beside them. "Stay here a second, I'll walk Dorothy over to Pa and ask him about supper. I won't be long," he frowned at her nervous look. "You can close the door if you like," he smiled at her faint nod. "I won't be long, I promise."
"Uh oh," Katie muttered as she clambered up the homestead steps, when she reached the top she turned and gave her Pa a worried look, "Vy-let sounds mad."
Sully bound up the steps with Esmee in his arms; sure enough he could hear angry cries from the new baby. He frowned and carefully opened the door not sure what to expect on the other side. His frown deepened as he took in the state of the living room, Michaela's medical books strewn across the table, lying at messy jaunty angles, abandoned where they had fallen. He stared at the pacing figure of his wife in front of the fire with confusion, she was trying to read a book while holding Violet, the gentle bounces she was using to try and calm the baby made more pronounced by her pacing. Violet jostled by the movement was upset making her screaming louder and Michaela's attempts at calming her only making her worse.
"Michaela?" Sully called over the noise of the baby.
Her head snapped round to look at him, not noticing him before as she was concentrating so intently on her book. Sully's eyebrows raised in alarm at the sight of her tear streaked swollen face, "Oh Sully," she almost ran at him. "She can't hear, not properly. She's can't hear."
"Hold up," Sully shook his head not able to take in what she was saying with Violet screaming and Esmee grizzling because of the noise. He quickly crossed to the playpen and set Esmee in it, he stroked her hair with his large palm calming her for the moment. Michaela had followed him, the book and screaming Violet still in her arms. Sully tried to lift Violet from her arm, but Michaela was gripping her tightly. "Caela, let me take her," his softly spoken words had the effect and he managed to take Violet from her strong grip. Gently he brought Violet to his shoulder and tenderly stroked her back, the soothing movements relaxing the baby almost instantly, her cries beginning to abate. Sully cast a worried look at Katie who stood in the doorway intently watching her parent's with wide eyes. "Come on Caela, let's get a drink, and you can tell me what's going on." He took Michaela's trembling hand and carefully pulled her towards the kitchen. "Twink?" he called to Katie, "Can you be a big girl and look after Esmee for me?"
Katie nodded her head, a brief tiny smile flushing across her face as her father gave her responsibility. She watched nervously as her father led her mother into the kitchen and out of her sight. She scampered across to the playpen, and touched Esmee's hand which gripped the playpen bars, her little sister using the bars as support as she tried to stand up. Katie studied her sister's face, Esmee's bottom lip trembling as she listened to their mother crying in the kitchen. "WOW Es, you weally strong," Katie gave her sister a huge smile. Esmee looked at Katie, her blue eyes scanning her sister's happy face, her forehead creased with confusion as she struggled to understand why her mother was sad while her sister was happy. Katie took initiative and hauled herself up over the wooden frame into the playpen. "Can ya stand up?" Katie asked Esmee sitting beside her. Esmee flopped to the floor and tipped her head quizzically, "Can ya stand up?" Katie repeated again, "Here like this," she grabbed hold of the playpen's sides and stood up using them as support, "Like that. Come on Es, Mama be really happy if you do."
"Ma Ma," Esmee called plaintively, her focus brought back onto her crying mother, big tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Ma Ma."
"Don't cry Es," Katie sat down beside her little sister and brushed the tears away, just as she had seen her father do with her mother before. "Don't cry, Mama with Papa, he fix it."
"Pa Pa," Esmee sighed, "Pa Pa."
"Yeah Papa." Katie hugged Esmee tightly, "Papa always makes Mama feel Ok," Katie squeezed Esmee and then release her. "Let's try make Mama smile. Come on." She stood up and took Esmee's hand, "Up you get."
"uh ou et," Esmee imitated her sister.
"Up you get," Katie repeated tugging on Esmee's hand, "Up."
"Uh," Esmee copied.
Katie frowned, deciding a different approach was needed she let go of her sister's hand and moved to behind her. Wrapping her arms around Esmee she lifted her sister up and held her upright so that the baby was almost standing. "Clever girl Es," Katie kissed Esmee's curly hair. "Clever girl, listen." Katie picked up on the lack of noise from Violet and their mother, "All quiet, Papa fixed it."
"Pa Pa," Esmee muttered and gave a giggle before her legs gave out and she slumped to the floor with Katie, both the children giggling as they collapsed to the floor in a heap.
Sully lovingly stroked Michaela's back as his wife silently sobbed into his chest. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and simply hold her, but with Violet in his right arm he had to make do with stroking her. He hadn't seen Michaela in this much of a state since she found out she was pregnant with Violet and this seemed worse, almost like the awful time when she was shot and refused to even leave the house. "Breath Caela, it's Ok, it's Ok," his long fingers moved slowly and tenderly over her back, trying to brush away her hurt. "It's ok."
"It...is...not...OK," Michaela struggled to speak, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe through the strength of her sobs, "she's ..." she dissolved into tears again, unable to say the word.
"Sshh it's ok," Sully whispered at a loss to understand.
"Deaf," Michaela blurted suddenly from between her tears. "Violet can't hear."
Sully looked down at the baby, already half asleep, exhausted by her crying fit, "What?" he stared at the baby, the beautiful tiny being in his arms.
Michaela took three shuddering breaths. "She can't hear, she's deaf in her left ear and she can only hear me about 3ft away on the right. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey," Sully stroked her tear swollen face. "This ain't your fault."
"It is," Michaela sobbed. "I went to Hank's."
"You didn't know what was gonna happen," Sully leant forward and kissed her tenderly, hoping she would understand that he in no way blamed her for what happened. "I nearly lost you both, but you're both still here."
"But..." Michaela tried to speak.
"But nothing, she just won't hear things the same way we do, but she can still hear, she heard you," he kissed her again. "Caela we knew something like this might happen."
"I know," Michaela reached for Violet lifting her into her arms and bringing the baby's head to rest against her cheek, "but I did this to her."
"Caela you didn't," Sully blinked, trying to prevent himself from crying, horrified to have to watch his wife so distraught, terrified for what may lay ahead for their youngest child.
"It was probably because she got the infection," Michaela whispered, her lips brushing the fine down of brown hair on Violet's head, "because of the seizure."
"Michaela don't think like that, please," Sully rubbed her shoulders. "We can't change it, we can only move forward."
"But..." Michaela dissolved into tears, "she might not speak."
"Caela this is our kid we're talking about," Sully tried to make her smile, "she's a fighter, she'll speak."
"You...don't," Michaela crumpled, her body trembling with the force at staying upright so that she could hold Violet. Sully moved forward and took back Violet simultaneously wrapping his free arm around his wife, pulling her in tight to his chest as she started to sob once more.
"You're right I don't know," Sully kissed her crown. "If I could see the future you would never have got hurt, but our lives wouldn't be our lives," he kissed her again, "they'd be predictable and boring," he kissed her for a third time. "Violet, we'll help her, she's gonna speak," he lovingly rubbed the baby's back, "It will be ok."
Brian sat awkwardly at the Hart's table. Their home was not dissimilar to the old homestead, slightly larger, with three rooms, the living area and the bedrooms. There was only the table to sit at, no comfortable armchairs in front of the fire, just a worn table surrounded by four chairs beside the small stove that Rosemary was cooking on.
"You sure I can't do anything?" Brian asked felling like a spare part as Rosemary busied herself in the tiny kitchen. Rosemary shook her head and returned her attention to the food she was cooking. Brian sighed, his attempts at starting a conversation when he had arrived had come to naught, Rosemary seemingly too nervous to actually speak. He jumped as the door banged open; stumbling to his feet he bowed his head respectfully at Jason Hart as Rosemary's father came in after a hard day's labour. The small man smiled and held out his hand, "Brian good ta see ya." Brian shook it nervously and gave Mr Hart a weak smile. "I ain't gonna bite," Jason grinned at the boy and gave him a pat on the back. "Real glad you could come, Rosie's been talking about asking ya over since the ball," he lowered his voice. "She had a real good time so thanks for taking her," he patted Brian on the back again. "I'm sorry about what happened to your Ma."
"She's alright," Brian smiled. "They both are, Violet's starting to get bigger now."
"Well I'm glad," Jason grinned and indicated the table. "Have a seat lad," Brian sat down gratefully. "Shouldn't be long eh Rosie?" Jason smiled at his daughter, who responded with a faint nod "Rosie's a real good cook."
"Is that what ya like to be called?" Brian looked at Rosemary, "Rosie?"
The young woman turned, pan in hand and came to the table where the plates were stacked, "I don't mind."
"I like Rosie," Brian smiled at her. "Can I…" he frowned and corrected himself. "May I call you that?"
Rosemary smiled and gave a nod, "Alright." She turned her attention to the food, serving up a portion of fried chicken on each plate. Quickly she served the accompaniments of jacket potato and green beans and handed the plate out. With each of them served she took her seat and held out her hand to take Jason's before nervously holding her other's to take Brian's. "Dear Lord, thank you for the food we are about to eat, may its goodness nourish and fuel our bodies. Watch over this house tonight and our friend Brian and his Ma and baby sister Violet. Amen," she gave a brief smile and released the two men's hands.
"Rosie's been remembering your Ma and sister since it happened," Jason explained quietly. "Think a lot of folk have."
"Well their prayers worked," Brian sighed. "This looks real good," he changed the subject.
"Wait till ya taste it, Rosie does all kinds of great things with the flavourings," Jason beamed while Rosemary's cheeks bloomed bright red, her body seeming to sag under the weight of the praise.
Brian cut a piece of the chicken and quickly ate it. He paused in his chewing, the chicken was unlike anything he had ever tasted, tender, flavoursome, with herbs and spices he'd never tried before, it was better than Colleen's it was better than Grace's it was the best chicken he'd ever eaten. He swallowed his mouthful. "This is amazing!"
"It's not that good," Rosemary looked embarrassed at her plate of food.
"It's really good," Brian eagerly cut himself another chunk of the white flesh. "You should work for Grace or at the Chateau." Rosemary shook her head. "Why not, you're really really good," Brian assured her.
"Everyone would watch me," Rosemary whispered mashing her potato with her fork. "I couldn't…" she shook her head.
"No one would see ya if ya worked in the Chateau," Brian pointed out. "Seriously Rosie, you're a really good cook."
Rosemary blushed, "People don't want someone like me touching their food," her voice barely audible.
Brian lowered his fork to the table and gently touched her arm, frowning as she flinched at his soft touch. "Rosie people don't think of you the way you think they do."
"You're sweet to say that," Rosemary looked at him out of the top of her eyes, her body hunched over her plate. "I hear what people say about me. You're different from everyone else," she resumed mashing her potato. "You only see the good."
"I see bad too," Brian protested. "But I don't see any in you," he glanced at Mr Hart for some help but Rosemary's father shook his head, knowing that his daughter had gone past the point where she could be picked up from her dark thoughts. "Well," Brian tried to lighten the mood. "I still think you're a really good cook."
Sully gently laid Michaela onto the mattress, as she slid out of his arms he knelt beside her and brushed her auburn hair from her face. She had cried herself to sleep in his arms, the terror about what would happen with Violet seizing her and shaking her until she had reached the point of exhaustion. It was the same terror that gripped him, that fear of the unknown, of not knowing what else could be wrong with the baby, of how she would cope with her hearing problem, of how they would deal with her hearing problem. Sully rocked forward on his heels and kissed Michaela with tender reassurance, hoping that his warm breath on her cheek would help her find her way back to her strong focused self, and away from her motherly terror, away from her blame cycle. She didn't stir her body completely spent, just as she hadn't stirred when he released her from his arms, to carry the children up to their beds, or when he had lifted her into his arms. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and he knew she needed to sleep, not rest, sleep, something she was not likely to get a proper night of for months. Slowly he rose and moved to the crib, Violet looking so tiny in the huge bed, like she would get lost in her blankets if she so much as moved. Sully lifted her up and moved to the rocker. Once seated, he set Violet on his knees, her head supported by his hand. As each day passed he could tell that she was going to be beautiful, there was something almost graceful about her, something which the Katie and Esmee hadn't had when they were baby's. It was almost like God had taken the very best of Michaela and the very best of him and mixed it up to create the most perfect representation of their love, the most beautiful thing that could be made. While Katie and Esmee were gorgeous, Violet just had something else about her, she no longer looked exactly like her sister, she had her own unique set of features. "Guess nothing can be perfect huh?" Sully whispered and bent over to kiss the baby, "You gonna prove your Ma wrong though. You'll be talking our ears off, and we'll be saying 'ssh Violet, be quiet,' You and Katie will have debates and we'll sit up till late putting the world to rights," he sniffed back a tear. "Your gonna speak and your shout and ya sing. I promise you I'll do everything to make that happen." Violet wriggled on his lap and gave a contented sigh. "You're gonna be so happy," Sully promised her. He lifted her into his arms again and brought her to rest on his shoulder, her little cheek resting against his shirt, his arm supporting her while he stroked her with his other hand. Violet's tiny hand reflexly grasping the white fabric of his shirt, his hand, almost the size of her torso, acting as a blanket to keep her warm. Gently he rocked the chair back and forth, a soft gentle rhythm that aided his own sleep as well as the baby's. The loving father holding his baby girl, protecting her from what may come as they slept holding each other tight.
Michaela glanced around as the front door opened. "Reverend?" she stared at the clergy man in shock. She had not expected anyone else to enter her home other then Sully. She had been expecting her husband when she heard a wagon approach, expecting him to be returning from town after leaving in the early hours to be at Loren's to get supplies early in the day.
"Good morning Michaela, I hope I did not frighten you," the blind man turned towards her chair and smiled at her. "Sully is outside, he is letting Ben help in the garden. He likes getting messy, Ben I mean."
"Little boy's have a habit of doing that," Michaela smiled wryly.
The Reverend took a tentative step towards her. "Sully explained about Violet's hearing problems. I am sorry."
"We don't know how severe the problem is," Michaela glanced at the stack of books beside her, thankful that the Reverend could not see her failure in finding an answer.
"You are too hard on yourself Michaela," The Reverend smiled at her knowingly. "It is a miracle that she is here at all."
"I know," Michaela sighed, knowing how easily Violet could not be with them. "Would you like to sit?"
"I would," The Reverend walked towards her voice and allowed her to guide him to the other armchair. After a few moments of nervous silence the Reverend took a chance and spoke. "You know speaking from experience, four out of five senses isn't that much of a problem. At least she won't bang into walls," he smiled sadly. "Her other senses will compensate, and Sully said she isn't completely deaf."
"No," Michaela glanced at the cradle at Violet's hand that appeared ever so often reach up for some unseen object, "she's not."
"Then you have no way of knowing how she will be, she could be completely unaffected by it." The Reverend pressed his fingers together, deep in thought. "I wish I could say I understood what God's plan was in all this, but I can't," he sighed. "Whatever it is, Violet is obviously very important to him, needed on the earth otherwise he would have taken her to be with him."
Michaela nodded, her tears dripping down her nose as she stared at the seemingly content baby, "I wish I knew too."
"We must take what we have been given, I have lost my sight, but in return I have gained my son," he reached to take Michaela's hand, gently holding her palm between his as he would hold his Bible. "Violet has lost her hearing but she will be rewarded with something far greater." The Reverend squeezed Michaela's hand, "You must have faith Michaela, and equally you must not blame yourself." The Reverend released her hand, "Tell me what she looks like. Is she like Katie?"
Michaela smiled and shook her head. "No, she did at first but every day she becomes different, from Esmee also. She is her own distinctly different person. My mother said she has a cupid's bow mouth, and shall look like a cherubim when she is bigger."
The Reverend grinned at the thought, "Does she look like you or Sully?"
"A mixture," Michaela rose. She swiftly collected Violet from her cradle and brought the baby to the Reverend, "Would you like to hold her?"
"I would be honoured," The Reverend opened his arms to receive the baby, his limbs going limp in order that Michaela could position them as she wished to satisfy herself that the baby was secure in his arms. He smiled as the mother relinquished her grip the full tiny weight of the baby settling in his arms. "She feels good Michaela."
"She does," Michaela captured the baby's hand and kissed it softly,
"There is a downside to only having four out of five senses," The Reverend admitted quietly. "I will never see your children, I will never see my son," he smiled weakly. "At least she has her sight, she will see the beauty of the world."
"That's true," Michaela sighed. "I find myself quite without direction."
The Reverend chuckled, "I find that often."
"I know what I would say to a patient, to another family going through this, but my own baby," she wiped her hand across her face, wiping away her tear trying to stop more from flowing. "I never understood the look that a patient's family would give me when I would finish a surgery and tell them their loved one was going to live. A look of painful despair that hid behind the happiness." She took a shuddering breath trying to remain calm. "I understand now. They are frightened of what's coming, of what might be."
"You have to have faith that God will guide you," The Reverend reached his hand out to her. "You have to have faith."
Katie trotted over to where Sully was digging some of the weeds in the garden. "Papa," she lightly touched the back of his head.
"Twink," Sully flicked his head back to look at her. He grinned at his little girl and held his hands out.
"You muddy Papa," Katie screwed up her nose.
"Thought you liked mud?" Sully touched her nose with his soil covered finger. Katie wiped away the mark with the back of her hand with a look of playful disgust. "What d'ya want?" Sully pulled her onto his lap.
"We talk bout Vy-let?"
"Sure," Sully settled back on his heels. "What about her?"
"She alright?" Katie turned her head to look at him with concern, "she crying lots, so's Mama."
Sully kissed the little girl and hugged her tight, "Me and your Ma found out there was something wrong with Violet."
Katie's eyes widened, "Something wrong with Violet?" a glimmer of terror running over her face.
Sully nodded, "She can't hear properly."
"And Mama fink she made Vy-let not hear propwerly" the perceptive little girl picked up. "Is it coz da building felled down on mama?"
"Kind of." Sully rocked from side to side slightly, feeling comforted by his little girl draped across him. "Violet was born early because of the building falling down."
"Dat why she so little." Katie nodded knowingly.
"Right." Sully smiled. "And coz she was born early she wasn't as strong as you and Esmee so she got poorly."
"And now she not hear right." Katie sighed. "Poor Bean."
Sully chuckled. "You don't have to call her that you know. Me and ya Ma only called Violet, Bean, because we didn't know if she was a boy or a girl. Now she got a real name."
"I know," Katie wriggled making him loosen his grip and turned in his arms. "But I like Bean," she flopped down onto his leg. "I like Twinkle, don't like Dancer dough."
"You don't!" Sully played along. "Why not?"
"Esmee can't dance, she can't walk," Katie rolled her eyes. "It's lot of pwessure for her," Katie sighed dramatically, "Esmee don't like it, she telled me,"
Sully chuckled, "She did huh?"
"Yep she said she wanted new nickname." Katie gave her father a knowing smile. "So fink hard."
"Will do," Sully looked down as Katie took hold of his beads.
"Papa does Vy-let mean somefing, I heared it before?" Katie asked as she silently counted the beads around her father's neck.
"Violet's are flowers, ya Ma likes them, their purple and they smell real pretty," Sully told her.
"Like Mama, she smell pretty," Katie released the string of beads from her hand and started to play with his medicine bag. "What Katie mean?"
"Well Katie is short for Katherine, and you named after my Ma," Sully kissed her.
"You got a Ma?" Katie looked surprised at her father. "Is she wiv Aunty Marjewie and Mama's Papa?"
"Yeah she is," Sully smiled weakly. "Katherine means pure, and Esmee is from a book your Ma liked" he anticipated her next question. "The character was kind, compassionate and close to nature, what we hope she'll be."
"We got good names Papa," Katie gave her approval. "Papa, I help Vy-let, I not let anything happen to her, I promise." Sully rested his forehead against her's, Katie reciprocated by twirling his hair through her fingers, she kissed his nose, "I potect her like you potect me."
"She's a real lucky little girl then" Sully kissed her back. "Come on" he rose quickly bouncing the almost four year old on his hip to hide the fact that his eyes were filled with tears, her giggles acting like balm to the wounds that had been caused by the horrid realization that something was wrong with the new baby. He lifted Katie above his head, bench pressing her and making her laugh as she soared high above the ground, for a moment the world almost normal.
Brian watched his mother carefully as she puttered round the kitchen, quietly getting Esmee's supper ready. She was deep in thought, barely registering that the baby's food was already mashed into a pulp ready for her to eat. "Ma," Brian spoke tentatively. She looked up slowly, "I think Esmee's food is ready."
Michaela glanced back down at the bowl and sighed, "You're right."
"Do you want to get some rest?" Brian asked shuffling the pots on the stove around.
Michaela shook her head, "Oh No I'm fine, my mind is just on other things."
"Violet?" Brian guessed.
"Yes," Michaela looked up at him, for the first time since the accident truly looking at her sixteen year old son. She frowned surprised at how much older he looked to her, not least because he had grown another inch and his hair was cut shorter for the summer, but in his eyes, this sudden wisdom peering out at her through his young eyes. Wisdom she hadn't seen before, a wisdom bought on from seeing too much. A wisdom that replaced the childlike wonder that used to reside within him. She smiled and moved over to assist him with the cooking, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder, "How was your meal last night?"
"I'm sorry I wasn't here," Brian looked at her with sorrow filled eyes. "If I'd known..."
"Hush," Michaela rested her finger on his lips to quiet him. "You're a young man you should have fun," she brought her hand back to his shoulder. "You weren't to know what was occurring here, beside you cannot live your life constantly worrying about me and your sisters."
"Yeah I can," Brian shuffled the pans again, quickly tasting the stew and adding a little salt. "You're most of my life anyway, My family, school, the newspaper that's it really."
"Rosemary?" Michaela raised her eyebrow curiously.
"I like her, a lot," Brian quantified. "But I don't think..." he paused thinking about how to summarise how he felt, "she's frightened about what folks think of her."
"She invited you to her house, that's promising," Michaela rubbed his shoulder reassuringly.
"Rosie's a real good cook," Brian told her, missing his mother raise her eyebrow at the use of the abbreviation to the young girl's name. "Real real good. Her fried chicken is better than Grace's! I told her that and said she work as a cook, and she said people wouldn't want food prepared by her, because of how she is. It's like she sees herself as tainted, like he left a mark on her."
Michaela rubbed his back comfortingly. "That's how a lot of people see her Brian, you and I are different to most."
"Only coz you made me that way," Brian smiled weakly at her. "Could we maybe, when you're feeling better maybe have her over for supper?"
"Of course."
"Really?" Brian grinned surprised that she had said yes.
"Give it a few weeks," Michaela smiled. "Perhaps as she's such a good cook she could cook for us here, chicken better then Grace's is certainly something I would like to try," she lifted the spoon from the stew and tasted it. "Although if you continue cooking like this I think you should be our chef."
"You like it?" Brian beamed at her praise.
"I do," Michaela kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Would you get your sister's for me."
"Sure Ma," Brian rushed off to find his little sister, Michaela watching his every move, her little man bristling with pride at the small crumb of praise she had just given him, her little moment of attention solely on him, bringing out the best of her young son.
Michaela pushed opened Katie's bedroom door, after her talk with Brian earlier, she had realised that maybe the other children were feeling in need of her attention due to the amount of time she had been spending with Violet, having put Esmee down for the night it was now the turn of Katie. The little girl peered through the hole of her neckline as she pulled on her nightgown to see who had entered the room. Michaela stifled a giggle as Katie gave a muffled happy cry of, "Mama," and began trying to pull her nightgown on quicker, her speed making her task more difficult. After a few moments of intense struggle Katie's head popped out of the top of her nightgown. "Hi Mama."
"Hello Sweetheart. Do you mind if I put you to bed tonight?" Michaela approached the bed.
"You put me to bed!" Katie grinned. "Yeah," she jumped up onto her bed and landed on her knees. Katie scrambled to the head of her bed and got positioned so that Michaela could tuck her in.
Michaela pulled the quilt up to Katie's chest and sat down on the bed, her hand reaching to stroke Katie's silky hair. "Did you have fun with Ben today?"
Katie nodded, "He's funny," she curled her head into Michaela's hand a huge smile on her face. "I love you Mama."
"I love you too sweetheart," Michaela told her first born with a loving smile.
"I like it when you smile," Katie closed her eyes in contentment at the contact with her mother. "Don't like it when you cry. Papa telled me bout Vy-let" Katie sighed "Don't need to cry for her Mama"
"I don't need to cry for Violet?" Michaela frowned in confusion.
"Vy-let don't know what it sound like," Katie yawned. "She only know what she hears." The little girl snuggled against her mother's hand holding it tight, "and she got you as a Mama, and Papa as Papa, and you best Mama and Papa in da whole world," she yawned widely again. "I 'ove you Mama."
"I love you too sweetheart." Michaela blinked back her tears and bent low to kiss her little girl, ignoring the pain it brought her from her still sore abdomen. "You sleep well."
"I will," Katie mumbled, "nun night."
Michaela slowly rose, "Night Night," she watched her daughter a few moments longer watching her little girl's body relax as sleep claimed her. Quietly she moved towards the bedroom, the tears brought forth by her clever insightful little girl rolling down her cheek.
"You Ok?" Sully asked the moment after she entered.
Michaela nodded and slowly crossed to stand beside him as he sat in the rocker with Violet. "Can I hold her?"
"You don't need to ask," Sully smiled and held the baby up to her.
Michaela held Violet close hugging the tiny baby close to her chest. "Can I sit?"
"Sure," Sully made to get up.
"I meant on your knee," Michaela stopped him from moving, she smiled as Sully gave a nod of consent. She lowered herself and the baby onto his knee, sighing as she leant into him. "We have a very special little girl."
"Which one?" Sully grinned catching Violet's waving hand.
"Katie," Michaela smiled. "She just seems to know things that seem so difficult for me to understand."
"She's three," Sully explained, "Three year olds say things how they see things. What she say this time?"
"That Violet only hears what she hears and she doesn't know any better," Michaela smiled as the baby made a mewling noise.
"Guess that's true," Sully kissed Michaela's shoulder. "It's like us saying the sky's blue. The way I see Blue could be the way you see Red, no one knows coz we're just told its blue," he grinned. "Think I should take a major in Kid talk."
"You are very good at it," Michaela raised her arm to brush his hair from his face. "But I think your daughter is right and you are the best Pa."
"She's just biased," Sully chuckled. "Hey," he frowned as Michaela sniffed back some tears. "It's Ok. We'll be OK. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy."
Michaela shook her head. "Loving you and the children is easy and that's everything I'd fight for," she kissed him strongly, her passion and determination reawakening after weeks of being dormant. She released him from her kiss and turned her attention back to the baby in her arms. Slowly and carefully she raised the baby to her shoulder. She smiled as she felt Sully's hand creep up her back his long thick fingers lovingly stroking up and down her spine, letting her know he was with her as they faced this new challenge into the unknown. Letting her know he would be there whatever. Slowly her own hand repeated the same movement up and down the baby's tiny back, communicating all their combined love and warmth at their little girl and with her mouth a few centimetres away from Violet's right ear softly she began to hum a lullaby.
