He had discovered a great law of human action - namely, that in order to make a man covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

Tom Sawyer, by Mark Twain.

CHAPTER ELEVEN – BRIDE BELATED

Daily Planet, Monday, November 24, 2008

"So, is that all?" asked Davis, handing Lois her overnight bag.

"Yeah, uhm … thanks. I appreciate the ride and everything," Lois told him waving her hand to make her point. She wasn't sure why she let Davis drive her, but it felt great to be back to work and out of the hospital. Some fluids and warming blankets had taken care of her mild case of hypothermia in rapid time.

"So … wow, this is where you work, huh?" Davis asked in his low voice, taking note of the noise and bustle of the place with some trepidation.

"Yeah, welcome to the Bullpen," Lois told him looking around with affection … and a little surprise. Right now was pretty quiet, given that it was lunch time.

"The Bullpen?" Davis repeated with a small smile on his face. After a minute he lowered his head uncomfortably and continued while looking at her through his lashes, "You certainly are crammed in here like cattle … I'm not sure I could work this closely with so many other people."

Lois caught his dark eyes and, for the second time since he stopped by her hospital room earlier, noted the loneliness that seemed to surround him. The first time had been in the hospital when he'd seen her name and stopped by to check on her and Chloe. He'd seemed comfortable there but isolated. The isolation practicallyshimmered in the air around him, just like Clark.

At the thought of Clark, she looked over at his desk speculatively. He wasn't there, not that she expected him to be. He was supposed to pick her up from the hospital but failed to show. Her best guess was that he was on Blur business, although he could be avoiding her. She hoped not, but he'd been blowing hot and cold at the hospital, starting out with the hot. She shivered a little at the memory.

When Lois woke up in the hospital, Clark was standing by the window with his hands in his pockets, staring out into the dark. For a minute, she wondered what he was looking at and then it hit her – he was brooding.

Lois sat up in the bed and cleared her throat. "Hey," she said, wincing at the croaking sound.

Clark turned around, his face inscrutable in the dim hospital light. "How are you feeling?"

She stretched and closed her eyes, taking stock of her condition. She was surprised and pleased with the results. "Good," she marveled. "I feel … good."

Opening her eyes, ready to smile in relief, her smile froze when she saw his expression. Through the poor lighting she could see his wide eyes shimmer as his lips parted. He stepped forward and the heat behind his baby blues took her breath.

You make me feel … good.

Her body started tingling and she could feel her temperature rise. Suddenly needing air, she sucked in a breath and damped her lips. The blue in Clark's eyes turned dark and stormy right before they focused on her mouth.

Another step forward and Clark was within reach. Lois felt her body respond by leaning toward him, her hand itching to reach out and touch-

Davis cleared his throat and Lois jumped, trying to bring her attention back to her surroundings.

"Well, I don't want to get in your way so … if there's nothing else," Davis told her, starting to back away.

Lois was torn. At first, she'd been convinced that Davis was evil, having killed a decent, honest kid like Jimmy. Now, something was telling her different. He seemed like regular guy, better than regular, actually. After all, he'd brought Chloe back to them, and Lois would be eternally grateful for that.

It was possible Lois didn't know the whole story. She hadn't been there when Jimmy was killed and, to this day, she didn't really know a lot about his death. Chloe went into hiding afterwards and the newspaper article was sketchy at best. What if there were extenuating circumstances?

No matter what, Lois wanted to protect Chloe and Jimmy. At first, ignoring Davis seemed to be the answer. Watching him now - so shy and unsure - Lois wasn't convinced. After saving Chloe, Davis seemed part of their circle somehow, and so when he'd stopped by her hospital room, asked about Chloe and offered her a ride, she'd been willing to go. What if taking the time to know him and let him know them was the way to avoid tragedy in the future?

Making up her mind, deciding to take the chance, Lois stepped forward. "Hey, how about an ambulance ride sometime? I bet you see things on your rounds that would make for a great story."

Davis' body tensed and he stopped. "I don't know, Lois," he told her looking down at the floor. "That didn't work out too well for Jimmy."

The guilt was radiating off of him in waves, and Lois was fascinated by this additional reminder of Clark. No wonder Chloe felt comfortable with Davis; he had a lot in common with her best friend. In fact Lois felt herself being drawn to him. What was it about tall, dark and lonely?

She couldn't resist smiling at the thought, stepping closer until his eyes rose to meet hers. "Hey, I'm tougher than Olsen," she smirked, holding onto his gaze.

Tilting his head forward, Davis looked uncertain but finally returned her smile. "It's a date then," he said, just as Lois heard Clark's cough at her elbow.

"Lois," Clark interrupted, clearing his throat again as his eyes darted between Lois and paramedic. "Davis," he remarked, holding out his hand. Davis shook it, and Clark's eyes narrowed slightly before he turned to Lois.

"I'm sorry," Clark told her apologetically, his eyes softening as they rested on her. "I got caught up with a … source. I, uh, it was an emergency," he continued, raising his brows to let her know it was Blur business.

"That's okay, Clark; emergencies happen," she told him with a little smile and a knowing look. Clark looked pained as she continued. "Besides, Davis was gracious enough to give me a ride." Lois turned to the paramedic. "Hey, I'll call you later, okay?"

"Sure," Davis said, smiling back at her and then turning to Clark. "Clark," he nodded before walking away.

Clark watched, his questioning gaze following Davis. His jaw clenched. "How did you hook up with him?"

"Well, I didn't 'hook up' with him," Lois told him using air quotes and rolling her eyes. "He stopped by my room to see how I was doing and offered me a ride." She turned away to go through the papers on her desk. "He does work at the hospital, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Clark's voice was low and ominous.

Lois gave him a surprised look and his face reddened slightly, his chin jutting outward as he tried to hide his discomfort. "He said something about a date?"

Lois kept her smile to herself. "We were just talking about an ambulance ride."

Clark's eyes narrowed. "That didn't turn out too well for Jimmy," he said. This time Lois couldn't hide her smile.

"That's what Davis said," she told Clark, unable to resist moving closer so she could pat at Clark's chest. "But I reminded him that I'm tougher than Olsen," she grinned.

"I don't know," Clark told her, taking his own step closer. "Maybe I should go with you." His voice was lower in octave, sending tremors through Lois and she watched his eyes flash. What was this? Earlier this morning he wouldn't touch her but now he was invading her personal space. His expression now was so like the one at the hospital …

His eyes wide and stormy, Clark reached out his hand to Lois but dropped it. Jerkily he turned away and went to stand back at the window. Lois felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured on her.

"Lois, the Fortress is corrupted," Clark told her, his eyes moving away from hers, fixing on a point above her head. "Kara thinks that something got into the crystals … either through Chloe or …" his eyes glanced back at hers and she could see the question.

"Or me," she breathed in understanding. Furrowing her brow as she concentrated, she tried to remember what happened right before things went dark. "I don't think it was me," Lois told him sincerely. "I do have certain … memories that are protected but nothing that could infect that fortress of ice."

"Lois … who was it who told you about your …uhm, destiny?" Clark asked hesitantly.

Lois felt her heart stutter. Crap, she hadn't really thought this through. She hated explaining herself and now ... she didn't want to lie to Clark but she couldn't give him the truth, either. She needed to stall-

Just then, Clark stepped away and Lois's hand dropped from his chest to her side. Again, he'd shut off whatever he'd been feeling before. Now he was frowning in Davis' direction. What was up with him today? Finally, Lois decided he was in a bad mood because he'd been late and was feeling guilty. No one, not even Davis, could do guilt better than Clark.

"Hey," Lois told him. "It's okay. I can take care of myself … and even you can't be everywhere at once," Lois told him quietly, turning back to her desk to check her messages. By the time she sat down, Clark had moved around to his desk and he was staring at her.

"You shouldn't have to rely on someone else, Lois," Clark told her seriously.

Lois leaned forward, astonished and amused. "You are not my personal slave, Smallville, as much as I might want you to be," Lois smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, watching in delight as Clark's face reddened. She lowered her voice and turned serious, "I know you have other obligations."

At Clark's conflicted expression, Lois raised her brows in question. Clark remained considering as Lois watched him. She hoped he wasn't planning on asking any more questions about her destiny. They'd talked enough about that at the hospital.

Lois sighed, looking closely at Clark. He was curious but concerned, too. If she couldn't answer his questions maybe she could ease his concerns. "Look, Clark, it's not a Kryptonian thing, okay?" She continued, watching as Clark pressed his lips together. "This is nothing you need to worry about."

His look was both frustrated and skeptical.

Lois continued before he could interrupt. "It doesn't matter who told me because in the end, I accepted." She stumbled at little as her next words caught in her throat. "But that, that doesn't mean that you have to … accept it, I mean."

Having finished that declaration she couldn't hold Clark's surprised look and lowered her eyes to her heavy blanket, discovering that her hands nervously picking at it. With a renewed sense of determination - knowing that this is what he needed to hear - she released her grip and smoothed out the thick material.

"Everyone should have options," she muttered, handing his words back to him.

It was a minute before she heard him clear his throat. "That's … that's not what I asked," he told her, stuttering a little in surprise.

Lois raised her eyes quickly, narrowing them in disbelief.

"Okay, I mean … you're right, everyone should have options and I … I don't want you forced into anything," he sighed at her annoyed expression and ran his hands through his hair. "Ever since I discovered my origins, my birth father has pushed me toward the destiny he envisioned, imposing some stiff penalties when I refused to go along," Clark lowered his gaze and his hands, stepping back and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I know what it's like to feel like you don't have a choice and to fight, only to have your freedom taken from you." Through his lashes, his eyes managed to convey his fear.

"That's not what happened to me, Smallville," she told him, tilting her head sideways as she thought about his words. Was this one of the things that pushed Clark to the dark side - rejecting his destiny? If so, he needed to work on that.

"Look, I'm not going to repeat myself …" Lois told him, knowing that she wasn't about to make some loving declaration in the hospital. "But I didn't say what I said to start a 'brood fest' or to guilt you in any way." Lois glanced up out of the corner of her eye to see Clark's eyes narrowed as he processed her words. He was clearly frustrated that she wasn't answering his question directly. "You have options, Clark, all the same ones that were available before …"

"Lois-"

Not to be deterred now that she'd started, Lois plowed forward even when some of the words stuck in her throat. "Say the word, Smallville, and we'll forget all about what I told you at the Fortress … go back to being friends … you know, keeping the game on the field."

Clark stared at her dumbly. Eventually, Lois looked back down at her blanket, her fingers unable to stay still. What did he want from her? It was different at the Fortress, where his isolation called to her, almost pulling the words from her-

"Why?"

"Why, what?" Lois asked, confused by his one-word question.

His face was calm but Lois could see the tension in Clark's body, "Why me?"

Lois looked at him in amazement. "Are you serious or are you just fishing for compliments?"

"Yes … no … I mean I'm trying to understand," Clark explained, stepping closer as his wide eyes conveyed his confusion.

All Lois could do in response was roll her eyes – would the man never understand his worth?

After giving her his most frustrated look, Clark changed tactics. "Okay …why you, then?"

Lois didn't hesitate, smiling when she looked directly into Clark's eyes, "Because you need me, Smallville."

With that one statement, Lois had put an end to Clark's questions. She'd thrown him for a loop, so much so, that he'd taken off as soon as the nurse appeared on her rounds.

Coming back to the now, Lois thought he still looked a little off, sitting in his chair staring into the distance.

"Planning on doing some work today, Clark?" Lois asked, watching as Clark jumped guiltily in his seat.

He raised his brows and pressed his lips together in response.

Lois chuckled and felt her chest tighten. Without warning, before she could look away, she was hit with a powerful burst of resentment … all of it directed at Clark. With everything she'd told him, he hadn't bothered to tell her what he was feeling. Why did he always have to overanalyze everything? Couldn't he just respond? He hadn't even come back for her at the hospital. What a jerk-

Shocked, Lois looked down before Clark could see the wrath in her eyes and sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. As quickly at the feelings hit, the anger was gone and Lois felt immediate relief.

What the …

She glanced back at Clark but he was still in a world of his own. She watched him for a minute but the feelings of resentment and anger didn't return. Shaking her head at her own scattered emotions, she turned back to try and concentrate on her work.

For the rest of the day, Lois continued to find her eyes drawn to Clark who, in turn, seemed to be doing a lot of staring off into space. She wondered which of her confessions was freaking him out more, telling him that loving him was "her destiny" or telling him that he "needed her." Either way, his lack of response was bothering her. Instinctively she understood that he had doubts about her real feelings and that impulsive was not a word in his vocabulary. Still, patience was not a word in hers.

Part of her wanted to haul him out of his chair and take him to the copy room for a little convincing, but another part of her understood that he needed to work things out for himself.

Finally, Lois convinced herself to curb her otherwise impatient nature. At least Clark was thinking about what she'd told him. There was something satisfying about that. She'd just have to trust that he'd let her know when he figured things out.

Kent farm, Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Lois was working at the counter in the kitchen while Mrs. Kent moved around the warm, well-lit room preparing for the holiday. Thanksgiving was still more than a full day away but there were pies to bake, side dishes to prepare, and the good, holiday cups and plates to clean. Mrs. Kent was not a woman to let those things wait if she could get them done.

The smell of apple pie was making Lois' mouth water and she squirmed on the stool, trying to focus on her school work. When the oven door opened, Lois gave up and pushed her computer aside, thoughts of pie killing her concentration.

Looking at the time – twenty minutes to cool – Lois was surprised by the hour. "Where's Kara?"

"I think she went to check on the Fortress."

"Oh, I thought Clark didn't want her up there in case it was that Brainiac thing that corrupted it," Lois commented absentmindedly, taking in a whiff of the pie as Clark's mom sat it on the table to cool.

Mrs. Kent smiled at Lois' non-too-subtle interest in the pastry. "She told me she might have an idea about how to extract the corruption and she wanted to check it out before she told Clark about it." Mrs. Kent wiped her hands on her apron and checked the time. "Now that you mention it, she has been gone for a while."

"So has Clark," Lois commented, checking the clock again. Clark had blurred out of the Planet almost four hours ago. What disaster could be taking this long? "Maybe I should give him a call."

"I'm sure he's all right, Lois," the older woman told her and there was a knowing glint in her comforting gaze.

Lois shrugged, uncomfortable with that look. "Well, a hero's work is never done," she quipped, unable to keep her brow from furrowing. Four hours was a long time. A little uncertain, Lois looked up and caught the woman's look. "You probably never expected to have this kind of conversation with me, huh?"

Mrs. Kent smiled and laid a hand on Lois' arm. "Actually, I'm not surprised at all and … it's nice to have someone else to share my concerns with."

Lois looked at her in earnest. "I'll never tell anyone," she vowed.

"I know, Lois," Clark's mother said, squeezing Lois' arm. "I'm not worried about that-"

Just then, Lois' phone rang and she looked at Mrs. Kent in relief, assuming it was Clark. Her relief was short lived, however. It was Chloe on the phone.

"It's the blushing bride," Lois told Mrs. Kent with a grin. "She probably wants to talk to me about the bridal shower … again. I swear if she changes the color scheme one more time-"

"Hello," Lois said with eyebrows raised to Mrs. Kent, watching as the older woman ruefully shook her head and walked back to the stove.

"Lo, I need you." Chloe's tearful whisper on the phone was barely audible.

Lois felt her body tense, as she left the stool to walk to the living room. "What's the matter; what is it?"

A soft sob followed her question before Chloe responded, "It's Jimmy … uhm, he's gone."

"Gone?" Lois questioned, lowering her voice when she caught Mrs. Kent turn to her in surprise. "Gone where?"

"Well, we had an argument and he said he wanted to go home for the holidays … said he needed a little time to, you know, clear his head and get things in perspective."

"What things?" Lois was starting to focus get angry, her heart reacting to her cousin's pain.

"Well, he's been a little freaked out that I, uh, stabbed him," Chloe hiccupped.

"Chloe, you thought there was a stranger in your bed, touching you … I would have done the same thing," Lois told her, lowering her voice to a whisper.

"Yeah, he's struggling with the fact that I didn't recognize him. I … I think the weirdness … the unusual things that happen to me … they're starting to freak him out."

"Oh, honey, you don't know that," Lois told her sincerely, silently cursing Jimmy three ways to Sunday. How could he abandon Chloe over the holidays?

"Could you come and stay with me while he's gone?" Chloe asked, and Lois could hear her take a deep breath. "I just …I don't want to be alone right now."

Lois didn't hesitate. "Of course, I'll be over tonight."

After giving Mrs. Kent a condensed version of events, telling her simply that Jimmy had decided to spend the holidays with family, Lois packed up her school work and went upstairs to put some clothes together. Already concerned about Chloe, she breathed a sigh of relief when she left her room and heard Clark's voice downstairs. At least he was okay.

Trying to juggle her luggage – she'd packed for a full week - she stilled when she heard how tired and worried Clark's voice sounded.

"There were two explosions on the docks," he was telling his mother. "I think they were deliberate."

"Deliberate?" Mrs. Kent commented, and Lois could tell that she was still moving around in the kitchen.

"Yes, I almost called for Kara's help but someone else showed up."

At the tone of Clark's voice - caution mixed with a little shock - Lois's carefully put down her luggage. Something more was going on and she wanted to know what it was.

"Someone else … who?" Mrs. Kent asked. "Was it Oliver?"

Even though she was alone, Lois shook her head. Oliver was out of town. It couldn't have been him. When Clark didn't respond right away, something in Lois' gut told her she shouldn't listen, that she wouldn't like the answer but just like the other night in the barn, she couldn't seem to help herself.

"Clark, are you all right? You look a little pale, honey." Mrs. Kent's voice was growing concerned, and Lois leaned back, resting her shoulders against the wall.

"It wasn't Oliver, Mom. It was Lana. She did something to herself … and now she has powers," Clark told his mother in a stunned voice.

Lois felt sick and the urge to leave grew stronger. She really didn't want to hear this and yet she felt frozen, wondering if she was going to be sick as she tried to process Clark's words …powers. What did that mean?

"Powers?" Evidently Mrs. Kent was asking herself the same questions. "What powers?"

"Like mine … or sort of like mine … speed and strength, at least." The words were tumbling over each other as Clark tried to explain, and Lois could practically see his agitated expression.

"How did that happen?"

"Evidently, Lex developed some type of super suit, like a second skin," Clark told her. "Lana had it grafted on over the weekend."

"And is this permanent?" Lois was amazed at the cool of Clark's mom. Lois wasn't even part of the conversation and she was starting to freak out, feeling the bile rise to her throat. Who puts on a skin suit? What the …

"I think so," Clark said uncertainly. "Mom, she told me that she did this for me - for us - so we could get back together, be a couple again."

At those words, Lois' heart stopped altogether. Her legs grew weak and her body slid down the wall, until she was sitting on the hard floor, trying to remember to breathe.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. What if this is permanent?" Clark told her hesitantly. "That's a lot to sacrifice to be with me." Clark's voice was fading a bit and Lois could tell that he was pacing. "She says we can work together … help people together. That's why she did it."

Upstairs, Lois put her head down as her breathing grew heavier. She was feeling hot and cold and sick to her stomach. The fact that she wasn't as surprised as she should be didn't make it any easier.

"Honey, did Lana talk to you or consult with you at all before she did this to herself?"

"No," Clark responded hesitantly.

"Then this was her choice and you're not bound by it. You need to think about how you feel," Clark's mom told him firmly. "If you let guilt influence you, well … I'm afraid you'll make a mistake."

"You sound like Lois" Clark told her, sounding a little disturbed by that fact.

"Yeah, about that … Clark, what about Lois?"

"What do you mean?" Clark's voice sounded defensive and Lois wondered what Clark had told his mom, if anything, about them.

"You told me that you two have been getting closer, that she expressed certain … feelings for you. What are you going to do about that?"

"I don't know," Clark's voice was frustrated and a little frightened. "What Lois told me at the Fortress, Mom. I didn't … I can't believe it … and yet I know I've felt closer to her than anyone else this year." Clark paused and Lois could hear his sigh up the stairs. "What I have with her … what I feel … it's so different."

"Different, how?"

"I can't explain it. Most the time we're still friends but …" Clark's voice faded away and Lois felt her own face heat as she considered what he might be thinking.

We're friends … and partners … and this.

"Clark, it sounds like you have two women who want a relationship with you. Have you considered that one way or the other, you'll have to choose?"

"What do you mean?" Clark sounded slightly panicked at the thought and, even as sick as she was feeling Lois couldn't resist rolling her eyes at Clark's naiveté.

Clark's mother was evidently feeling the same way because her tone was exasperated. "Clark, both of these women have expressed a desire to be more than friends with you. You have to tell them how you feel."

There was silence and then Clark's desperate question. "Mom, what am I going to do?"

"This is your decision, honey," his mother told him sympathetically. "Just … just make sure you search your feelings carefully before you decide anything … but don't wait too long or you may lose them both."

"No … no, not Lois," Clark muttered. "She told me … she promised."

"Promised?"

"Never mind," Clark's voice was low with embarrassment, and Lois felt her heart fall to her stomach. By striving to give Clark options, knowing that he hated the idea of destiny, she had handed him the perfect out.

Say the word, Smallville, and we'll forget all about what I told you …

At the memory of those words, Lois felt a pain so sharp that she wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor. Instead she leaned her head back against the wall and fought for breath, focusing on controlling the stabbing near the area of her heart.

You are his second choice …

Looking at her luggage, Lois decided that leaving the farm would be easier than she first thought. She didn't want to be around when Clark made his preference known.

She already knew what his decision would be.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The ice cream was gone, the popcorn was cold and most of the chic flicks devoured. Lois sat on the couch in her pajamas listening to another story about Clark and wondering how she was going to survive the next few months like this.

Just hearing his name was torture. No wonder she'd stayed in Star City three years ago. Of course, that option was no longer available.

You can never leave him.

" … so then as we're crawling through the air ducts, Clark's complaining the entire time and I said, 'I didn't know that super whining was one of your powers,'" Chloe laughed.

"Sounds like something I'd say," Lois could resist adding even through the tightening in her chest.

"And with all of that he ended up saving the day even without powers," Chloe told her, giving Lois a knowing look.

Wondering if she was a closet masochist, Lois had to ask, "How did Clark feel about his lack of abilities?"

"Well, he seemed to be on cloud nine at the time because he was with …" Chloe quickly changed direction. "I mean, he always wanted to be 'normal.'"

Lois looked at her cousin from beneath her lashes. "You can say her name, you know," she said with a small smile, grabbing a cold piece of popcorn from the bowl. "I take it you know about the 'suit'?"

Chloe sighed. "I just don't get it. Why would she think that all she needed to do was put on a super suit?" Chloe looked at her cousin and Lois could see that she was truly baffled. "We all see that Clark has a greater destiny in this world, but all he's ever wanted was to be like everyone else-"

"No," Lois interrupted, swallowing the bite while staring into her almost-empty bowl. "All Clark has ever wanted was to be accepted … and loved." When Chloe didn't respond, Lois looked up to find her cousin staring at her slack-jawed.

"What?"

"Living with Clark has definitely given you some insight," Chloe said, her eyes wide and considering.

"Actually, Chloe, anyone who know Clark knows that," Lois told her, a little irritated at Chloe's strong reaction, but Chloe was shaking her head before Lois finished.

"No, I don't think that's true-"

And before Chloe could finish, Lois was jolted by a sense of fury so strong that it propelled her out of her seat. "Well, it doesn't matter, does it?" Lois found herself shouting at her cousin. "We all know what's going to happen!" Lois waved her arms in Chloe's direction. "He's loved her since he was a kid. Now she's got powers like his; of course he's going to get back together with her …"

Then, as suddenly as it appeared, the rage ended. Lois was left standing with her chest heaving, her body shaking, while she frowned at Chloe's wide-eyed expression.

What the …

Running her hands through her hair, Lois turned away, taking deep breaths and trying to recover from … whatever that was. After a few minutes her breathing slowed and Lois exhaled deeply.

"Chloe, I'm sor-"

"Lo-" Chloe said at the same time.

Both were interrupted by a knock at the door. Looking reluctant, clearing wanting to finish up with Lois, Chloe walked across the room to answer.

"Davis," she exclaimed, tightening the belt on her bath robe. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Chloe," he said quietly. "I stopped by the Isis Foundation today and when you weren't there, I got worried." Davis held up his phone. "I tried calling but your phone was turned off."

"Yeah," Chloe admitted sheepishly. "Lois and I were having a girl's day and I guess I forgot to turn it on." With that, Davis turned to look at Lois and as his gaze lowered to her feet, noticed her bunny slippers and smiled.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," he said, looking embarrassed. "Given what happened on Sunday … well, I just wanted to check."

"Fully functional," Chloe said, tapping at her temple. "My memory is good enough that I know enough to say 'thank you,'" Chloe told him with a smile.

"It was the least I could do," Davis told her, his eyes filled with something Lois couldn't identify. She moved closer.

"Would you like some coffee?"

Taking another look at Lois' bunny slippers, he responded with another smile, "I, uhm, don't want to interrupt anything."

"Nonsense," Lois told him, limply waving her hand. "We were just having a good old-fashioned girl's day; at this point we probably need some testosterone in the room."

Davis chuckled and Lois smiled a little in return, grateful for Davis's appearance. "I'll make the coffee, Chlo," Lois told her, seeing the promise in Chloe's eyes … they would talk about what happened later. Lois sighed. Clearly, she'd flown off the handle but she didn't know why and didn't want to talk about it. Maybe she could work on an excuse while Davis distracted Chloe.

To Lois' surprise, she enjoyed Davis' company as much as Chloe did. During the next half hour, they talked and laughed and Lois was struck even more by the characteristics that Davis shared with Clark. He was a bit shy, calm and caring and, given the nature of his job, definitely had a strong desire to help people.

It was at the end of the visit that Lois made plans for her ride-a-long. She and Davis were standing at the door ironing out the details for this Friday night when there was a knock.

Without bothering to look, Lois reached out and opened the door, surprised to see Clark on the other side. Her stomach dropped at the same time her heart sped up. Why was he here? He should be out saving the world with Lana.

For a minute, she could only stare. Then Davis cleared his throat.

"Davis, right," she told him, trying to remember what they'd been talking about. "I'll see you Friday night," Lois finished with a smile, turning to frown at Clark until he moved to let Davis pass. Giving him just enough room, Clark puffed his chest out and brushed shoulders with Davis on the landing.

Lois felt a sliver of irritation and let it show with a look.

R e a l l y?

Clark ignored her expression, deliberately examining her wardrobe instead. "Lois, what are you doing here … and in your pajamas?"

Lois' eyes widened and she glanced behind her to see Chloe's sympathetic expression over her coffee cup. Pressing her lips together in frustration, she blocked the door as she responded.

"Didn't your Mom tell you?" Lois whispered, leaning forward a little and keeping her voice low. "Jimmy left Chloe alone for the holidays. She's having a rough time and so I agreed to stay with her."

Clark leaned forward himself, his expression a little desperate. "Why didn't you tell me? Is that why you weren't at work today?" His gaze drifted over Lois' head to the apartment. Seeing Chloe he lowered his voice. "I was worried about you."

Lois felt her heart skip a beat at his words. Taking a breath, she worked to keep her emotions under control. "I'm fine, Clark. It's Chloe who's upset that her fiancé is gone," Lois told him, reverting to sarcasm when her emotions started to scramble. "You know, rather than storm here and upset everyone, you could have just called … you have a phone, right?"

Clark squirmed uncomfortably. "It was busy today-"

"Blur busy?"

The guilt in his expression gave her the answer. Lois understood it but she wasn't about to tell Clark that she'd eavesdropped on his conversation last night.

"I'm glad you were able to help some people before the holiday," she choked out, her throat starting closing up with the effort to keep herself calm and in control. "Look, Clark, Chloe needs me right now, and I can't talk to you-"

Eyes flashed as Clark stepped forward, his large body overwhelming Lois and practically pushing her into the living room. She took a step back in surprise. "Oh, but you can talk to Davis, is that it?"

"What is your problem?" Feeling her anger slip free, Lois took her own step forward, forcing Clark to take a step back.

"Problem … what are you talking about?" After stuttering, he choked out a question. "Did you just make a date with Davis?"

"Davis?" Lois asked, fighting against the onslaught on rage even as part of her realized she'd forgotten all about the paramedic.

"You heard me," Clark said through gritted teeth.

"What if I did?"

Clark's look was incredulous. "What … but Lois, you said … you told me-"

"Yeah, Clark … I said, I told … but what did you - oh, that's right. You've said nothing. I'm a big girl," Lois could feel her rage getting out of control but couldn't seem to keep her voice from getting louder. "You don't need to spell it out for me. I. KNOW. WHEN. I'M. NOT. WANTED."

Clark jerked back as if he'd been slapped, his expression incredulous.

For a minute, Lois simply stood there her chest heaving with each breath. Inexplicably, at the look on Clark's face, her anger drained away. Trembling, cursing her own lack of control at the same time she wondered what was happening to her, she reached out and closed the door in Clark's face.

For a full minute, Lois contemplated the door like it could give her the answers she needed. It was the sound of water in the kitchen that brought her back to reality. She turned and saw Chloe leaning against the sink with a contemplative look on her face.

"Clark sounded upset," her cousin said softly.

Lois snorted.

Chloe gave her a small smile. "Okay, you sounded upset-"

"I'll get over it."

"Lo-"

"I'll get over it," Lois repeated, heading back to the bedroom to try to get control of her emotions … and figure out what the … what was happening to her.

Thanksgiving Day, 2008

Lois let her feet carry her as quickly as they could from the yellow farmhouse. Dinner was over and, miraculously, Lois had managed to control her temper, after periodic bursts of fury had ruined her morning. Unexpectedly, at the mention of Clark, she'd lost her temper with Chloe, her outburst causing Chloe to turn pale. Feeling guilty afterward, Lois had called Jimmy and gave him a piece of her mind. With very little persuading, he'd agreed to talk to her cousin. During the call they'd worked things out and now Jimmy was coming back on Saturday. At least Chloe was happy now.

As for Lois, she didn't want to upset anyone else's holiday. Her strategy had been simple - don't be alone with Clark.

She'd realized during her sleepless night and after her outburst with Chloe that Clark triggered a rage reaction in her, both his name and his presence. Her plan was tricky because she was obligated to be at the Kent's for the holiday but she'd been able to delay her arrival by talking wedding stuff with Chloe. Once they arrived, Clark helped by staying out of Lois' way, doing chores or hanging with out with Kara. For her part, Lois kept close to Mrs. Kent.

What Lois hadn't counted on was Lana, the girl with perfect timing. During dessert, her petite frame garbed all in black had appeared in the kitchen doorway. Evidently, she needed Clark's help with a situation. To Lois' surprise, Clark had been reluctant to leave, but he eventually agreed when Kara volunteered, making it clear that he wanted Kara to enjoy this Thanksgiving with family.

The sudden outrage that slammed into Lois at Lana appearance was unexpected, but Lois was able to grit her teeth and wait for it to pass. The onslaught was brief but her anger had been noticeable, as least to Mrs. Kent. It was her probing questions that had Lois fleeing the house-

While Kara and Chloe cleaned the dishes, Mrs. Kent wiped down the table, carefully studying the young lady who was playing with her second slice of pie.

"Lois, is something wrong?"

Already battling the remorse and embarrassment that followed an outburst, Lois kept her eyes on her plate and choked out a one-word response. "No."

With a sigh, Mrs. Kent pulled out one of the chairs and sat down. "You haven't eaten your pie … that's a clear sign something's not right."

Lois smiled a little and shook her head. No way was she going to admit that she was out of control-

"Lois … is it Clark?"

Lois looked up quickly and Mrs. Kent smiled knowingly.

"Believe me, I love my son … but I know his faults. He's cautious, almost overly so, and once he makes up his mind it's almost impossible to get him to change it." Mrs. Kent studied the dishcloth in his hand. "It's hard for him to move on …"

Lois leaned forward, not really thinking about the words as they poured out of her. "But he takes the time to think things through because he's always thinking about others, and once he makes up his mind, he's committed because he knows it's the best decision … for everyone."

Mrs. Kent's gave Lois a direct look before she wiped an imaginary crumb from the table. "You know him better than you realize."

"It's not what you think, Mrs. Kent-"

At that, Clark's mom looked directly into hazel eyes. "Have you expressed certain feelings for Clark?"

At the motherly demand for honesty, Lois squirmed in her seat "Well, yes-".

"And have you told Clark your destiny is to love him?"

"Huh, he told you-"

"And aren't you waiting for him to tell you how he feels?"

For the first time, Lois stopped squirming and stared back unblinking. "No."

"Why not?"

Lois looked down at her pie, watching as her fork picked it apart, trying to find the right words without sounding like some sort of quitter. "Let's just say that if Clark has to choose, I know I'll be his second," she told Mrs. Kent softly, feeling the words catch in her throat.

"Then why do you think it's your destiny to love him?"

Lois shrugged as she pushed away from the table, not ready to talk about it, especially when Clark was off with his equal, his first choice. "What can I say? Sometimes fate has a sense of humor," she commented, choking a little as she tried to bring levity to the conversation. One look into Mrs. Kent's understanding eyes and Lois had to get out of there-

Letting her body lead her, just needing to distance herself from the house and everyone in it, Lois laughed at the irony when she found herself in the loft, staring out of the window large, rough window.

Clark's quiet voice from somewhere behind made her jump. Distracted and worried about her circumstances, she'd missed him sitting on the couch, hands between his knees. "I haven't heard that in a while."

"What?" Lois asked, something easing at the sight of his familiar pose.

In the dim light, she couldn't see him clearly, but she heard him draw in a deep breath before he responded softly. "Your laugh."

Unable to form a coherent thought, let alone respond, she simply watched as Clark made his way over to the window and looked out. For a while, both of them stood staring at the stars and then Clark broke the silence hesitantly.

"Do you think what I'm doing … Lois, is it enough?"

Lois turned in surprise and caught Clark's profile. His face was filled with doubt and she didn't like it, even when - or maybe because - she was experiencing these strange bouts of anger with him.

Pausing, Lois waited for it and sighed in relief when her emotions stayed steady. "You've saved a lot of people, Clark, but is it enough? I don't' know," Lois leaned toward him as she tried to make her point. "How much is? I don't think any one person even an extraordinary one can do it all," she told him, turning to look at the stars when his eyes turned to hers.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him turn back to the window as well. "Is it … am I … selfish for wanting to spend the holiday with my family?"

"No, you're not selfish," Lois told him, understanding his reluctance to go with Lana. Feeling the stirrings of anger, Lois kept her eyes on the stars.

As a military brat, duty and dedication had been drilled into her, so much so that she would have given Clark a different answer if it hadn't been for battling the Darkness. One thing she'd learned from the horrors of the future was that those who toiled constantly, like Oliver, soon burned out or turned bitter. Ironically, it was her Martian friend who taught her that those fighting the good fight needed to take time to connect, to remember why they were doing what they were doing … or become lost.

She gripped the rough edge of the window, rocking on her heels while she explained. "You can't be the hero every day, all day long. Even the most dedicated get burned out, trust me. Once that happens, you forget why you started in the first place. Everyone needs time to remember and regroup and, for you, Smallville, that means spending time with friends and family." She drew in a breath and wondered … was this one of the reasons that Clark succumbed to the Darkness. Had he pushed himself too hard?

When he didn't respond, she turned. He was looking at her, his eyes warm and sincere. "Thanks, Lois."

"Sure, Clark. That's what friends are for," she told him, backing away from the intimacy of the situation. She knew she needed to be taking steps to protect herself from the inevitable, not standing around in the moonlight with Clark.

Her destiny.

Just the thought sent a feeling of terror through her. She had to get out of there.

"Lois, what's wrong?" Clark asked, watching with desperation – and a flash of fear - as she backed away. "What's going on?"

"I … I don't know; I'm just a little jittery today, probably too much caffeine," she told him with a distracted smile before she started to flee.

After a couple of steps, Clark grabbed her arm. "Lois about last night-" he pleaded, but Lois turned on him, staring at his hand. It was as if a switch had been flipped. In an instant, she was furious.

"Get your hands off of me," she told him through gritted teeth.

Clark released her so quickly that she almost fell, his expression incredulous. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about last night."

"Don't' … just don't touch me," Lois told him, the anger inside exploding. "I don't want … just don't."

When Clark's initial shock wore off, he searched Lois' expression and the one on his face was pleading, "What's happening here? Lois, please tell-"

"It's okay, Clark … really." Lois told him, her fury leaving as quickly as it came. Breathing heavily, heart pounding, her eyes were guiltily drawn to his gaze and she saw his beautiful eyes fill with pain and confusion.

"I'm sorry," Lois whispered, unable to tell him anything when she didn't understand herself. Confused, hurting because she'd upset Clark, she backed over to the stairs and fled down them.

Pulling her keys from her pocket, hearing Clark call out behind her, Lois jumped into her car and drove in the direction of Metropolis. She couldn't go back to the Talon right now and she certainly couldn't stay at the farm. Getting away from Clark had become more than a priority. It had become a necessity.

Metropolis General, next night

The inside of the ambulance felt too enclosed, too confining. Lois was going a little stir crazy. It was Friday night and so far Davis had responded to a self-inflicted gun shot wound, an overdose, and two heart attacks – not one solid story in the whole bunch.

Davis was a pleasant companion, however, and in his calm presence her emotions had settled for the first time in days, almost to the point of sleep. She was tired. Every night her mind was restless with worry while her body was still, begging for sleep that wouldn't come. It was as if her body and her mind were at war. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

Unable to simply sit inside, Lois got out of the vehicle and looked around. Needing to stretch her legs, she walked around, careful to stay out of the way of the emergency personnel, and started down the emergency drive.

That's when she saw J'onn across the street eating a cookie while he leaned against the street light.

What was J'onn doing here?

Looking around again, catching Davis' eyes so that he knew she was leaving, Lois casually walked toward her Martian friend. She could certainly use a distraction or a story, and J'onn might be good for both.

Frowning a little, she walked up and held out her hand. With a resigned look, the Martian reached into his pocket and pulled out a cookie, placing it on her palm. With a smirk, Lois took a bite spinning on her heel to look at whatever J'onn was studying.

"What are you doing here?" Lois asked after a minute of companionable silence.

J'onn took a considering bite of his cookie and turned his head in her direction. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Hmm, working on a story," Lois mumbled between bites.

"Isn't that Davis Bloome you're with?"

"Yeah … so what," Lois commented, surprised that J'onn would know Davis on sight.

"Nothing, I just thought you didn't trust him."

"That's when I thought he was the Ace of Clubs Killer," Lois shrugged. "I've gotten to know him better since then. He's okay." Lois watched the group moving around the patient, Davis included. Even among his peers he seemed isolated. Man, he reminded her of Clark in so many ways …

Lois sighed at thoughts of Clark.

Work today had been difficult, to say the least. Avoiding the guy who sat directly across from her hadn't been easy. Of course, the more she tried to steer clear of Clark, the more he wanted to talk.

Lois was working at the table in the copy room when he walked in and closed the door.

"You're not avoiding me, are you?" Clark asked Lois quietly.

Lois' stunned gaze met Clark's and she jumped in her chair. She'd been so engrossed by her thoughts that she hadn't heard him. How a big man could be sneak up on her-

"Of course not," she smiled weakly. "I just, uhm, needed some quiet, you know, to prepare for this story."

"Really, which one is that?" Clark raised his eyebrows and sat down on the edge of the table.

For a minute Lois felt suffocated by his nearness. She scooted her chair away, her eyes meeting Clark's bemused ones.

"Lois," he cautioned, his hand reaching out to her.

She stood, smile plastered to her face. "I've got to get ready for tonight, Clark," she told him. "I should go."

Her eyes widened when Clark stood at the same time, his body blocking her exit. "We need to talk."

Lois lost it. In an instant, she was enraged and lashing out at Clark. "Get away from me," she yelled, trying to push him with her hands and her body. He didn't move and she pushed him again, her anger so strong that tears were in her eyes. "I don't want to talk right now. God, Clark, just once couldn't you give me a break?"

A minute later and she could see the details of Clark's confusion and pain through her tears. Lois felt the anger disappear … completely, immediately.

God, what was she doing?

Her body stilled instantly and she watched Clark with her chest heaving. "I'm … I'm so sorry, Clark."

His answering look was stoic. "Is this something to do with the PTSD?"

Lois wanted to run out of there, take off and hide, but she owed Clark some kind of explanation after her outrageous behavior. She felt her face flame with embarrassment. "I don't think so … it feels different. I … I don't know what-" Mortified by her lack of control, Lois turned away from Clark, the tears not stopping. "I … I just need some space, Clark. Give me some time, okay?"

Warm hands squeezed her shoulders and her body jerked in response, her heart racing as she realized the touch that usually soothed her wasn't working. What was happening to her?

His hands dropped. "I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

Again, it was as if he'd lit a fire and her body was engulfed in pure rage. "I don't need your help," she spit out, turning around to confront the threat, chest heaving, heart racing. By the time she realized that her body was reacting to Clark like he was a threat, he was gone.

The rest of the day was miserable for Lois and, even now, she could feel the shame. She might be hurting but that was no reason to take it out on Clark …

"So, now it's your turn," Lois told J'onn, working to change the direction of her thoughts. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I'm watching," J'onn told her, his face inscrutable.

When Lois simply rolled her eyes at him with a "duh," he sighed. "This is the group that was on duty the night Faora was here."

"You think one of them saw something?" Lois asked, looking at J'onn curiously.

When he didn't respond, she gasped. "Surely you don't think one of them is the … is Faora's son?" Lois sputtered at the idea. "That's crazy … her child wouldn't work in a place like this, a hospital."

J'onn remained calm. "I can't take that chance," he said. "Not if her son can truly destroy Kal-El and this planet."

At the mention of Clark, Lois felt the switch inside, turning on her sudden ire. "Kal-El can take care of himself," she spit out, the anger leaving her as soon as the words were said. Under J'onn's intense scrutiny, her face grew red with discomfiture and she squirmed in place.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," she told him quietly.

"How did you mean it?"

"I didn't … I don't know," Lois told him.

"Is something wrong?"

Lois looked straight ahead, afraid to speak and lose control.

"How long?" J'onn asked curiously.

"Since … I don't know," Lois admitted. "Since the last time I was in the hospital."

"Hmm, I heard a little about the Fortress," J'onn said, an expression of wonder coming to his face. "I would have liked to have seen you tell Jor-El to 'hang on.'"

This time Lois couldn't respond, her sense of wrath so strong that it made her dizzy. She groaned and placed her head in her hands. The blood seemed to be rushing through her body and the headache was sudden and strong.

"Are you all right?" J'onn's voice was concerned.

Lois held up her hand, waiting for the feeling to dissipate. It did but slowly. "I'm okay," she told him, her voice weak and shaky.

J'onn studied her for a minute and then reached for her arm while closing his eyes.

Lois pulled away with a steely-eyed look. "Don't try to read me, J'onn. I … I should probably go," she told him, her head starting to clear, but her heart racing as if she'd been threatened. "Let me know if you find out anything."

As Lois backed away, J'onn followed. "I think I've seen enough tonight anyway," he said enigmatically.

They crossed the street quietly, Lois glancing at J'onn every now and then. He was so hard to read sometimes and, right now, she really wanted to know what he was thinking. Her heart rate increased and her head started pounding. It was as if her body considered J'onn to be a threat. It didn't make sense.

When Davis exited the hospital and started to prepare the ambulance for the next call, Lois increased her pace to reach him. For some reason, his presence seemed to calm the storm that was raging inside of her.

Her heart rate was steady and her headache eased by the time she reached his side. Lois marveled at it, wondering why her body was reacting around Davis the way it used to around Clark. Sure, Davis was okay but she didn't want that kind of relationship with him.

"Hey, Lois," Davis welcomed her with a sideways glance as he put some things in the back of the ambulance. He looked at J'onn, "Who's your friend?" Davis asked in his quiet voice.

Lois sighed. "Davis, this is J'onn Jones of Metro PD. Detective, this is Davis Bloome."

J'onn's smiled politely at the younger man when they shook hands. "I believe I've heard your name before?"

"Really," Davis said shyly. "I hope everything was legal, at least."

J'onn chuckled as he reached for Lois' hand and took it before she could react. "Good night Ms. Lane … Mr. Bloome."

With that, J'onn was gone. Lois looked after him nervously as she considered the length of his handshakes. She had the horrible feeling that J'onn had gotten exactly what he wanted tonight. Her head started pounding again and she rubbed at her forehead.

"Lois, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale," Davis commented, taking her arm and sitting her on the back of the ambulance. He took her wrist in his hand and looked at her eyes. "Your pulse is going a mile a minute."

"I'm just tired, that's all," Lois told him, feeling her body calm somewhat.

Boldly, Davis put a warm hand on her shoulder, "Hey, I don't need anyone to get sick while they're with me … it's bad for the reputation."

Lois smiled and nodded. "Don't worry," she said. "I think you have the magic touch."

At the husky sound of her voice, a sound that surprised Lois herself, Davis' hand squeezed her shoulder and his gaze changed to a questioning one. Slowly, he leaned forward, "What is it about the Lane/Sullivan women?"

Lois couldn't answer. While her mind was screaming for her to pull away, telling her that she should not be leading Davis on when her heart belonged to someone else, her body was moving forward of its own volition.

Knowing she would regret it later, feeling her mind and body at war with one another, she let Davis kiss her softly, briefly, before she managed to pull away.

Her brain was screaming at her to speak, to say something, to tell Davis that she'd made a mistake, but she couldn't. She turned away and noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. In the entrance to the nearest alley, a flash of red and blue blurred by and Lois felt her stomach drop. She was sick. Something must be wrong with her and whatever it was needed to be dealt with before she ruined everything.

"Davis, can you take me to the hospital?"

Kent Farm, Saturday, November 28, 2008

The feminine sighs were collectively loud when Chloe pulled the paper from another gift, opened the box and showed them all a beautiful long gown in a deep aqua color.

"Thank you," Chloe said to Kara as she admired the length of shiny silk.

"You're welcome," Kara said shyly her face a little red with embarrassment. Lois smiled to herself. She'd talked Kara at length about what to get, Kara taking every suggestion to heart. Evidently, while gift giving was common on Krypton, bridal showers were a complete mystery to her.

Lois fought another yawn as she tried to make note of the gift and the gift giver for Chloe's thank you cards. Her eyes blurred as she stared at the pad; she was exhausted.

All day, Lois had been going at full blast, decorating the farmhouse, setting out the food, preparing the games. Right now, she was running on about three hours of sleep and untold cups of caffeine. Last night she'd been disgusted with herself and her own emotions and finally went to the hospital looking for answers. When Davis had walked her in, she'd been relieved to find, Dr. Hamilton on duty. Unfortunately, after a number of tests and a number of questions, the doctor couldn't find anything wrong. There was no physical condition that explained her behavior. That left the PTSD. Lois nodded when Dr. Hamilton suggested it, but she knew stress was not causing whatever was happening. This was something completely different.

So, she went home, slept for a few hours and fell back on old habits – trying to work whatever this was out of her system. Today that meant giving everything she had to Chloe's bridal shower.

At least she was contributing to Chloe's happiness. The flowers and the bunting certainly lent a festive air to the first floor of the house, the green and white color scheme giving the house a holiday "feel" as well.

At the next round of "oohs" and "aahs", Lois shook her head and jerked her eyes up to see Chloe pull out part of a complete set of monogrammed towels, each a sophisticated tan color with a large scripted black "O" along the edge. Lois resisted rolling her eyes at the gift. Who would give someone towels-

"Lana, thank you so much. They're beautiful," Chloe exclaimed.

Of course.

Blowing her bangs out of her eyes, fighting to keep her snort inside, Lois wrote "Lana Lang" and "towels."

As the parade of gifts ended, Chloe's friends started taking their leave and Lois moved to kitchen to clean. After loading up the garbage, Lois was relieved when she looked up and saw that Mrs. Kent, Chloe, Kara and Lana were the only ones left. Quickly, she pulled out her cell phone and checked her messages – another three in the last hour from Davis.

She sighed. What was she going to tell him?

By the way, I don't have control over my emotions and that's why I kissed you.

Yeah, that wouldn't hurt his feelings.

Lois carefully placed her phone back in her pocket, knowing she was not ready to talk to anyone when she was this tired. Snatching up the garbage she made her way outside into the late afternoon sun.

Even though it was a beautiful, unseasonably warm day the cool air struck Lois' skin, energizing her tired body. She breathed deep, blinking as her vision cleared. Dumping the garbage in the larger outdoor can, she closed the lid and turned to walk back.

She blinked... hard.

Clark was standing in the middle of the yard facing her. He stood tall and proud with his legs apart and his hands fisted at his sides. The sun was at his back but, even without seeing his face, Lois could sense the determination coming off of him in waves. The breath left her body as she realized that he was watching her.

She thought he looked absolutely magnificent.

Her heart raced and her body muscles tensed as if to flee … now.

Her mind was telling her to stay and face him, that she owed him an explanation for all of her crazy behavior this week … even if she didn't really have one. But her body, it was acting in contradiction to her thoughts, her muscles aching to move.

Lois felt frozen by indecision. When she didn't move, Clark strode purposefully forward, stopping so close that she was forced to look up to see his eyes. She could feel the heat from his body and shivered.

His blue eyes were full of purpose and … panic.

They were focused on her.

"Lois, we need to talk."

Lois nodded her head in agreement as the same time her body moved to scoot around Clark. With an exasperated look he stepped to the side to block her. She sighed, stepped the other way, and was blocked again.

"I can do this all day, if you want," Clark told her, his voice firm.

Lois shook her head, afraid to speak as the anger in her sparked to life.

This time Clark sighed. Warily, clearly reluctant, he reached out to grab her arms and hold her in place. Her anger ignited and Lois felt her body struggle even as she tried to control herself. Closing her eyes with the effort, she finally forced her body to calm.

"Lois, what's going on?"

She kept her eyes closed. For some reason she could control her body more easily that way. "I don't know," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

At the sound of Clark's voice, her control slipped a little, "I told you, I don't know. I went to the hospital ..."

"When?"

"Last night … I … Dr. Hamilton couldn't find anything wrong."

"Well … is that why you've been avoiding me, why you've been … what exactly is the problem?" Clark asked, his voice sounding husky to Lois' ears.

She shuddered a little. "I … it's like I can't control myself-"

Clark snorted, and Lois opened her eyes to see his disbelieving look.

His hands moved from her arms, and she felt the loss of warmth even as she took a deliberate step away.

His lips were pressed tightly together when he spoke. "So, that's your excuse."

"Excuse?" Lois exclaimed, her voice getting louder as she felt her control moving away. "I'm telling you what's been happening-"

"You're telling me that the fact that you don't want me to touch you … that's out of your control," Clark stepped forward, his fists clenched at his sides.

"That's right," Lois said loudly, agitated by Clark's reaction.

"What about kissing Davis?" Clark asked, his own voice rising in response. He kept stepping stepped closer to Lois and she kept backing up. "Was that out of your control, too?"

Clark's observation didn't surprise her. Lois has suspected when she saw the red and blue that Clark had been there. That's one of the reasons she'd gone to the hospital. Things were getting out of control. Nonetheless, his accusation stung. Her anger flared and her eyes narrowed, "Were you spying on me?"

Clark's eyes flashed in response. "No, I was bringing a victim to the hospital and saw you …" Something in him seemed to break and his shoulders slumped. "I saw you kissing him," he told her softly.

By the time Clark stopped moving Lois realized that she had backed herself up to the barn door. She stopped, something in Clark's expression confusing her. "So what?"

"What …" Clark's eyes practically bugged out of his head. "What do you mean, so what?"

"I mean 'so what,'" Lois shouted, her anger increasing suddenly at Clark's obtuseness, even as he started moving again, backing her into the dark quiet of the barn. "You shouldn't … you don't … care."

Clark's look was incredulous still. "Of course I care, Lois," he told her. "I … you're-"

"I'm what?"

"You're … my friend … and partner," he said hesitantly.

"And what about the other, Clark?"

We're co-workers … and friends … and this …

It took a minute but Clark seemed to realize what he'd said. His expression shifted, his eyes taking her in while his hands twitched. It was if he needed to touch her, the desire flashing in his eyes. Instinctively, her body moved away, backing her even further into the recesses of the building.

At her wary movements, Clark went on the defensive, challenging her with a question of his own. "Why Davis?" Clark asked, stalking forward while she moved back. "I didn't think you even liked the guy."

Confused by her own feelings, angry, afraid and ashamed, she shouted, "Well, I do!"

"Since when?"

"Since I don't know," Lois answered honestly, feeling trapped. With one bold move, she lunged for the open door, needing to escape. Clark was mixing her up, heightening her anger but bringing up other feelings as well, feelings Lois wasn't ready to face in her exhausted condition.

Clark moved in front of her and blocked her escape with his body.

"Stop it, Lois," he shouted. "Can't you see … don't you know … I'm just trying to look out for you."

There was something in his eyes, a warm and tender look, but Lois ignored it. She had to … her body was telling her to run, to get away. Her head was telling her to stay. It was all so confusing and, after a week, she was tired of it.

"I don't need anyone to look after me," she told him, keeping her voice calm while her eyes searched for an exit.

Clark tried to match her calm tone but it was a struggle, if his breathing was any indication. "Of course you need someone to watch out for you … God, of all the people I know, you need the most looking after," his voice became deeper. "Didn't the … didn't the jeweler teach you anything?"

Lois stopped looking for an exit as her gaze slammed into Clark's.

He dared to …

Pain.

Do you love this man?

Her entire body shook with anger while the tears filled her eyes. She lost it. Words poured out of her and the tears streamed down her face. Her hands braced themselves against Clark's chest and she pushed, as hard as she could.

"You really … you want to know what the jeweler taught me? How about honesty … yeah, he was big on that. Guess what? I've been honest with you, Clark. Let me ask you, have you been as honest with me?" With another shove, she watched as guilt and fear crossed his face. "Right," she drawled out. "That's what I thought."

Another push, another shove and, "What else … oh, yeah. He taught me how to handle pain … and well, thanks to you, that's come in handy," Clark's eyes widened. "I know about Lana," she told him. "I know why you haven't said anything about my … about what I said at the Fortress …" The ache made her voice hitch. "You know what, you two deserve each other. I hope you'll be the perfectly happy hero couple."

"Lo-"

"Clark," she interrupted. "I'm a big girl."

Angry tears were falling now and she took one last deep breath. "I told you before, just don't …" one last push, "don't touch me. I … don't need your protection. God, I know you don't want me, so leave me alone!"

With one last shove, Lois tried to move past Clark to the barn door but, before she could take a step, she found herself in Clark's arms. Her mind went completely blank as her body fought for freedom. Clark didn't budge, only held her tighter when she tried to strike him with her fists. Of course, hitting him was like striking steel and she realized she was only hurting herself. Eventually, drained of energy, she surrendered and her body softened against Clark's.

Reflexively his arms tightened around her and she sighed, wondering why she was fighting him so hard when his arms felt so good, when every part of him felt so right.

"Lois," Clark's husky voice cut through the flurry of emotions she was experiencing in his arms. "I do want … I can't tell … you don't understand," Clark took a deep breath as she turned her tear-filled gaze to his, and it was like she was seeing him, really seeing him, all over again.

Why had she tried to push him away all week?

For the first time since she'd been in the Fortress she felt whole, complete.

At the look in her eyes, his turned a dark blue, so warm and captivating that she almost missed his softly spoken words. "The jeweler taught me something, too, you know …"

Deep blue eyes roamed over every inch of her face, his deepening tone sending shivers through her. "He taught me that actions speak louder than words."

Wide-eyed, she could only continue to stare as his head lowered and he captured her lips with his. The kiss was soft and coaxing, drawing up feelings Lois hadn't experienced since the Fortress. With Clark's lips moving on hers and the touch of his tongue making her tremble, her scattered emotions came together to form one complete feeling … desire. She wanted him so much that it hurt …

So she kissed him back with everything she'd been feeling, pouring out all her frustration and anger …

Soon, she heard a moan.

Wait.

That was her.

She hurt. It really hurt.

Lois gasped at the sharp pain that filled her body.

No. Not now.

There was a blinding flash and the pain in her head became excruciating. Lois heard Clark's voice calling to her as if through a curtain or veil. He sounded alarmed and she wanted to help him somehow, but couldn't. The pain held her in its clutches. She felt completely incapacitated. With another blinding flash, her mind pulled up her memories.

Lois was walking into her small apartment, muttering to herself about the new curfew, finding Oliver on the floor, blood everywhere …

No. Why these memories? They hadn't been bothering her all week. She was over this. Outside her own thoughts she could hear a commotion - a shout, a crash, screaming – but none of that seemed important, none of it penetrated this internal battle. Against her desires her memories went on.

In her office, Lois finished shutting down her computer, rose from her desk and froze. Standing across from her was Clark Kent, dressed head to toe in black, wearing a completely blank expression. She couldn't believe it; he was Night …

The pain was taking her control, but Lois fought anyway, trying to focus on something else. She didn't want these memories, had enough of reliving these events. Counting didn't work; even reciting the alphabet was a bust. The pain was blocking everything but these remembrances.

Lois struggled, turning her head and jerking back …Night's eyes burned red and suddenly, her attacker's sleeves were on fire, but he didn't let go. Laughing maniacally, the man hung on to Lois' throat, as they both burned …

Weren't these events supposed to be protected? She struggled now, feeling that something was being taken from her. These were not the thoughts she wanted. She reached for her childhood memories or even more recent events but it was as if she had no control.

Night had taken care of her and now that she was healed, she was pushing him to the limit with every escape attempt. She wouldn't stay a prisoner. Instead she would free herself and Clark, watching for signs of Clark with every show of strong emotion …

Through the agony, she knew that it was vital that she fight, that she hang on to these memories, even if she didn't want to relive them.

The sinister voice of the Darkness slithered across her senses. "Oh, didn't you know? In every incarnation of Clark Kent, you are his second choice," the creature chuckled and Lois felt her weakness, her heartache exploited as the Darkness attempted to claim her …

Finally, with the sheer force of her will, she stopped trying to block the memories and instead clung to the last one, clutching it to her like a security blanket, burying it deep in the recesses of her mind and her heart, where it continued to play over and over again …

Clark's hands continued their soft caresses, easing the pain, saving her. With startling clarity, it occurred to her that she could do the same for him.

So she kissed him with everything she had, sensing his surprise as she did. It didn't take long, however, before he was returning her kisses and setting her body on fire. Running her hands through his hair, she gloried in its silky softness before guiding her hands lower, over his t-shirt and under it, moving her fingers over the coolness of his skin. She could feel his skin warm with each touch, caress, and kiss. He was coming back to her and there was nothing that she wanted more, nothing she would ever want more …