At The Beginning

Warnings: Some suggestive content, angst.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Playlist: 'The Princess Pleads For Wallace's Life' from 'Braveheart', 'Science and Magic' from 'Thor' and 'An Ideal Marriage' from 'Downton Abbey'.


For love is immortality

I argue thee that love is life. And life hath immortality.

- Emily Dickinson


Loki stirred, feeling unfamiliar warmth pressed against his torso and legs. As the fog of sleep dissipated, a slow, sly smile spread over his mouth, at the memories of last night.

The warmth under his hands transmuted to soft, heated skin and he tenderly stroked down one slender arm as he opened his eyes, to the drab ceiling of Jane's room. He glanced down to see a sight he'd watched many times over the past few weeks.

Jane, asleep.

Except this time, he was holding her in his arms as she slept, her face peaceful, her brow smoothed of all cares and theories. He pushed back a loose strand of hair, and she stirred, shifting in his arms. She huffed discontentedly, and pressed herself deeper into his arms.

He laughed softly, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Jane," he breathed gently. "I rather believe it's time to awaken."

"I don't want to," she mumbled, pressing her face against his chest. "The moment I step outside that door, it's back to reality. Reality sucks."

He chuckled, although inwardly he was frowning. Reality?

"Well, then the solution is obvious," he purred, leaning down to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek, and then her jaw. "Don't step foot outside that door."

She moaned when his lips pressed against her neck, arching beneath him as he rolled her onto her back, coming over her. Their lips met, her hands sliding from his chest to his back, clutching it tightly.

A sudden knock at the door made them pause. "Hey, lovebirds! Up and at 'em!" Tony called. "Fury wants us working on the tesseract, like stat!"

"Reality knocks," Jane muttered with a sigh. Her breath trembled from her body, making Loki frown.

Something was wrong.


"Come on," she murmured, already sitting up. "The last thing we need is Fury barging in on us."

She wrapped a sheet around her, stepping across to her storage chest, and pulling out some fresh clothing. Without looking in Loki's direction, she dressed and swiped up her discarded shirt and jeans.

She could feel his eyes following her every move, her instinctive awareness of him only heightened after last night.

What had she been thinking?

She had been caught up in the sheer relief and joy that he had come back alive. That Amora and Morgana had not taken yet another thing she…loved from her.

She wished she could have written it off as just sex, meaningless, comforting and emotionless, but she couldn't. She couldn't lie to herself that much.

Despite everything Jane believed about relationships, about love, she was in love with him. It wasn't just caring, that was only a facet of it.

Waking up to find him gone, then seeing him walk off that jet, and then the red lacerations on his back….

It was all so impossible. Even if he loved her back, something she had to concede was possible, he was immortal, and she was mortal. When they defeated Amora and Morgana, he'd go back to Asgard.

And even if he didn't….

Jane had to drag herself out of a fantastical daydream of what ifs and maybes. Even if he didn't return to Asgard, and she was sure he would, he had his duty as a Prince after all; she was mortal. She would die, one day, and who would want to put anyone they loved through that?

So, as much as it hurt to do so, she needed to maintain some distance. Last night had been…a dream, but now it was back to reality.

Resolved, determined, she turned to face him, only to find him standing close to her, one hand delicately caressing her jaw, before those slender fingers firmed around her chin, tilting her head up so her eyes had no choice but to meet his.

"Jane, what is it?" he asked gently, his tone certain, brooking no denial. He was the God of Lies after all, a master of lying. He'd see through her in a nanosecond.

"Nothing's wrong," she murmured, choosing her words carefully. "I don't regret last night, if that's what you're worried about."

"Jane," he sighed. "While that may be true, you're skirting around what is really troubling you. Don't try to lie to me, it does not work."

"Loki…" she began, then trailed off. She shook her head, dark hair flying. "We've got work to do."

Feeling like the coward she really was, she escaped before he could say a word, or pull her back, a sick emptiness in her stomach.


Loki followed her out, eyes narrowed at his lover's retreating back. Something was wrong, and he would find it out, and soon.

He didn't know what it was that was troubling her but he would eliminate it without mercy. After their night together, he was not about to let anything come between them. Waking up with her in his arms had only firmed his resolve to ask her to be his wife, after everything was over.

They left her room, Jane blushing when she saw the 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging from her door knob, making Loki chuckle to himself.

The moment they got to the lab, she glared pointedly at Tony, who held his hands up in mock-fear.

"I didn't do it! It wasn't me!" he called. "Blame Maria and Nat!"

The laugh that left her mouth was forced, but it seemed to appease Tony. Loki, on the other hand, was not to be fooled so easily.

It was going to be a long day.

By the time it neared midday, Jane wasn't the only one who was on edge. Tony's pointed innuendoes and endless teasing was starting to grate on even Loki's nerves, especially as one part of his mind was invariably focussed on his suddenly reticent lover, who refused to meet his gaze and only spoke directly to him when necessary.

Even Stark seemed to pick up on it, eventually.

Loki sighed. He needed to speak with Stark, he wanted to speak with Jane, corner her and refuse to let her leave his arms until she confessed whatever was bothering her.

Thankfully, it was Jane herself who solved his conundrum.

"I'm going to grab some food, you two want anything?" she asked, flicking some wayward hair out of her face. Her eyes met his directly for the first time since leaving her room that morning, and he sighed at the oddly closed expression in them.

She was drawing back from him. He didn't know why, but he would find out and stop it dead. No reason could be good enough to end this. Nothing.

"I'm good, thanks Jane," Stark glanced up from his workstation, busy waiting for the results of their tests to come through. So far, the adamantium/iridium composite was proving the strongest.

Loki just shook his head, refusing to drop eye contact with Jane as her jaw tensed, and she fidgeted. "No, thank you," he murmured, at last, his voice low and tightly controlled. Jane dropped his gaze and hurried from the room, making the Aesir sigh heavily.

"Seriously, you guys are like a soap opera," Stark chuckled from his stool. "What's goin' on there?"

"I do not know," Loki replied. "Are all Earth women this complicated?"

Tony laughed. "I've found Earth women have a thousands ways of saying no, and only ten of them actually mean yes," he shrugged. "Jane's not a simple girl. You barely know each other really, and it's gonna take time, just don't give up on her."

"I have no intention of doing so," his companion breathed, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the place where Jane had scurried out of the door.

"Have you considered the fact that she might be trying to put a little distance between you because of the whole God/mortal shebang?" Stark asked, looking up from his results. Loki glanced at him swiftly, brow furrowed. "I mean you're immortal, you'll live forever and she…won't. You could kinda see why she'd push you away, to stop the both of you getting hurt."

"I had not considered that," Loki frowned, looking down at his laptop screen, rubbing his middle finger over his top lip. "The Aesir are not immortal. We possess far greater lifespans, but we may be killed by extreme old age or severe injury. And we have…means of granting that longevity to others, if they prove themselves worthy."

Stark grinned. "Well, tell her that, lover boy," he chuckled. Loki sighed, letting the comment go over his head. Was that what had depressed her that morning? The thought that her mortality would be a problem for them, and it was better to draw back, to avoid hurt?

He snorted to himself. As if he would have ever allowed her to, in the first place. He would rather spend a single mortal lifetime with her, than spend the next millennium alone. It did not matter anyway, since he could and would, make her an Aesir and give her the lifespan to share his own.

He needed to talk to her.

He inhaled tightly, forcing his mind away from Jane's infuriating attempt at emotional martyrdom, and back onto the issue of the tesseract. Or namely, what her proximity to the tesseract had done to Jane.

"Stark, do you have any old records of DNA, older than a year?" he asked, making the mortal look up, surprised. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Yeah," he replied. "SHIELD takes blood samples as part of the regular health checks it does on its staff. It also allows us to make sure no Skrull try to sneak in, disguised as one of us. What do you need?"

"I have a suspicion that Jane's continued close proximity to the tesseract has begun to fundamentally alter her DNA," Loki explained. "Out of all of you, she has remained in close contact with it for over a year."

"How d'you know it's affected her?" Tony asked, interestedly.

"When I arrived on Earth, I used my magic to…" he struggled to explain exactly what he could do with his power. "To sense the location of the power that attacked Asgard, and controlled the Skrull and the Jotunns. I also sensed the tesseract, and…Jane. Her mind was different to the mortals around her when they found us in the desert. More akin to an Aesir than to a human woman."

"You think the tesseract's changing her into one of you?" the mortal asked. Loki shook his head.

"I do not know, for certain. But comparing her DNA records might provide some clue as to the depths of the changes," he replied. Tony nodded.

"I'll get right on it," he murmured, clearly musing on the best way. "I can hack into SHIELD's medical files and pull up her records. I'll compare them with mine and Erik Selvig's, as well, just to provide some basis for analysis. Would you let me take some blood from you too, to see how similar her DNA is now to yours?"

Loki nodded his assent.

"Ok, then," Tony grinned. "Best keep this between us though. Don't want Fury getting all excited."

"No, that might be best," Loki agreed.

"Now go find that girl of yours and sweep her off her feet," he chuckled, waving the Aesir away. "Some of us got work to do."

"Thank you, Tony," Loki shook his head exasperatedly, before leaving the lab and heading towards the canteen to find Jane.