AN: Hello, its me again, back with more after so long, but better later than never at all.
The morning of September 1st saw Harry go through his morning exercises to focus his magic. In the weeks leading up to the start of term for Hogwarts Harry had used the time extensively, almost solely focused, on controlling his magic for wandless casting. The only other thing that Harry had set aside, besides the essentials to stay alive, was rehash his canon knowledge.
Weeks upon weeks of the same thing for a preteen, how have you not numbed your brain?
"I have you and the readers to thank for it, what with your gross sexual hints." Harry answered as he focused his magic to lift his reading material, while reading it.
*Low whistle* you're getting good at that. And they're called innuendo Little Grasshopper. Now you have a train to catch in a few hours, you ready to blow the mind of all the sheeple of Magical Britan?
"Al help me if I'm not…" muttered Harry morosely. "Everything's packed where they need to be, I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Harry answered, his focus faltering for an instant, his book crashing to the floor. He would have used his M Reader but he didn't want to risk any falls damaging the device if it fell, books weren't generally delicate objects and Harry wasn't going to roll the dice of what was, arguably, Harry's most prized and valued possession.
"The train leaves at the chime of 11am at Kings Cross, there's a floo connection there, so I don't have to leave too early." Harry reasoned to himself as he thought on what was a decent time to leave for the Hogwarts Express.
There may be a connection, but imagine the traffic involved, and if you go at high traffic time there's no way you aren't going to get noticed by the masses. Oh I can see it now, the screaming fangirls and their encouraging mums.
Harry's eye twitched at the thought.
"Screw that, I'm going early." Harry declared.
As Harry moved around to leave what had been his home for nearly a month, his left concha (middle part of outer ear) itched. This is what Harry was beginning to associate with an incoming review.
'Here we go again…'
Crazysister101
Al! Didn't I ask you NOT to ruin his innocence?
In my defence, I didn't do it alone, it was more you guys that did it with your horrible pictures, except the Bones/Tonks sandwich, that was a good one.
The picture was... *shudder* You've now given him a terrible impression of the Malfoys, how is he ever supposed to meet Draco without flinching?
Harry grimaced remembering the mentioned picture.
Harry, I am so sorry. I didn't think Al would take it this far.
Well if you hadn't figured it out by now, I take the review and copy paste the thing, so I didn't do anything, you readers did.
Anyhow, I can't wait to see what Snape's response is. I'm sure it will be very interesting.
Harry too was interested to see what his mom's old friend would do.
Ooh, and the sorting ceremony! Please don't put him in Gryfinndor, he would do much better in a different house, and his opinions on *cough cough* certain houses won't be so biased.
Well I seriously doubt after everything that Harry's experienced, what he's learnt from reading canon, not to mention the changes he's gone through as a result of the breaking of the Great and Sacred Wall of 4th… there's no way he's going to go to Griffindor.
Or will he?
*Evil cackle*
Put him in Hufflepuff for all I care, just not in Gryfinndor
OOOOOh, Hufflepuff, where busty Bones will be, wouldn't that be something?
Harry's face flushed at the mention of Susan Bones, damn that picture…he'd never be able to look the girl in the eye.
"I'll get you back for this Al, and you readers too for doing this to me, I swear." Harry promised vengefully.
Ten minutes later Harry was all packed up and downstairs saying a quick goodbye to Tom before flooing out of the Leaky Cauldron to Kings Cross Station.
(*v*)
So early to the station was Harry that he had a stupid amount of time to find a suitable train compartment (the same one as canon, funnily enough, hah) and get comfortable with his M Reader, going over the canon events of the train, having magicked his trunk up to the luggage rack (with a fair bit of concentration, mind you).
'Didn't have to ask where the platform was, so no Weasley intro this time…' Harry thought a little sadly. 'Though Ron might still find me things aren't going to go the same as canon…I couldn't bare the thought of doing canon on purpose.'
Que ear itch.
Amazing stuff, ZealotOneShotter, can't wait to see how Harry survives this.
'Right let's give my God an even bigger ego, that'll make things go oh so well.' Groaned Harry.
Oh sweet praise, how I love the!
Right, time to help everyone's favorite Potter.
Harry put down his M Reader, retrieved a pad and pen from his luggage
Harry, in my opinion, the best idea is to get Moony teaching in a subject that isn't cursed. So, tell the Prophet about Binns, hopefully causing Dumbles to replace him, because really they can just move classrooms, and get everyone's favorite werewolf to teach History of Magic.
Good point, too bad it's too late, you missed the train on that one, maybe next year.
"Missed the… train…" Harry asked dumbfounded at what he just heard, face palming. "Come on Al, you can do better than that!"
Oh I know it was bad, it's why I did it.
PS give Harry a pot of white chocolate fondue with strawberries, he'll thank me later
A massive pot of white chocolate fondue popped into existence beside Harry, the smell quickly filling the train cabin.
Before Harry could really immerse himself in the delicious smell however he felt his side get poked.
Once again.
Then another.
Then yet another one.
"Al! I told you I don't like being touched! Quit poking me!" Harry snarled. Then his ear twitched.
Oh.
And he felt his body become smothered in hugs and kisses.
Crazy EvilManiac
Heard you don't like being touched so...POKE HERE POKE THER POKE YOU EVERYWHERE! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Make it HaryXLuna please! XXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXXO!hAHa
And another twitch.
Hiya, me again, back to torture you. *Shows Harry a picture of every single Harry Potter character completly nude(including Dumbledore)* MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Bye!:)
A flip book of the aforementioned nude pictures appeared on his lap, Dumbledore's picture being the 1st one on the cover.
Harry, feeling horribly violated, promptly set the book on fire with his wandless magic.
But the book didn't burn.
Harry looked at the thing, aghast.
"That things fireproof!"
Hate to tell you this Harry, but just about everything given from reviews is indestructible, that books gonna be around forever.
"Oh fuck."
Oi! Watch your language!
"You aren't my dad!" Harry shot back.
No, but I am your God (in all ways that matter), I supersede any parental role.
Que ear twitch.
Harry felt his body change a little, confusing him slightly till he took a look at his clothes.
Why was he wearing a dress now?!
And why was there a cake siting next to his fondue?!
And a huge pile of folded clothes next to that!?
Me, again! I give Harry the power to read minds, a black forest cake, a wardrobe full of muggle and wizard clothing and, oh yeah, a poster of ol' Dumbles, Harry and Voldy have a threesome.
Said poster was unrolled on the compartments outside window for all to see.
Harry, listning quick, ripped it down, fighting the powerful urge to not be sick from looking at the image displayed on it.
And I turn Harry into a Girl for an hour and Al can't change him back and force him to strip and finger with himself!. Loads of kisses, hugs and gropes! Love ya!
*Wince* oh man…well I guess it as a good thing you came to the train so early, hopefully this change will reverse before anyone else shows up.
Harry, now Harriette, could only sob as he/she began to undress.
'Why are people so cruel?'
0v0
An hour later Harry returned to normal, clothes and all, his body slumping into the seat in relief.
Playing with yourself for that long was torture! And he couldn't do a damn thing about it, his body acting on Crazy EvilManiac's words the whole time!
Stifling a sob, which would lead up to a total breakdown if not halted, Harry's face scrunched up as the scent of the train compartment filtered through his nasal passage.
BLEUGH!
Such a shame your only 11, if you had have been older you might have enjoyed that, can you imagine if you were 15 and this happened? Think of the boobies!
Harry's face flushed, despite himself.
Oh well…as for the smell, open the window and air it out or you'll have a completely different moniker around the school as opposed to the one used in reverence right now.
i can hear it now 'The Boy who Smells'. No?
Quickly, almost violently, Harry wrenched the window completely open than plopped down back to his seat.
And started to eat his cake and fondue which had been sitting there untouched the whole time. Minutes later Harry's mood brightened, not by much but any improvement was better then what it had been.
After 15 minutes of slowly eating at his cake and fondue, Harry left his compartment for the toilet, overhearing many a student who were excited to meet the Boy Who Lived.
'Aren't they going to be in for a shock…'
Ear twitch.
'Oh hell no…' with his experience from the last review he was dreading this one.
axc-o
Harry let out a sigh, this one wasn't going to do anything ridiculous, hopefully.
Ok than, seems some readers managed to convince you to accelerate the plot.
Yeah, kinda needed to otherwise events would've gone at a snail's pace, no thanks.
With Sirius out that means access to grimmaul place and the Black account at gringotts. Maybe access to certain cup?... wait a min, why am I using indirects when Harry got the full story in the book saga he... Quick AL, erase the last two books! We don't want a depressed Harry!
Yeah, can't help with that now, he's already read it all, though maybe he didn't really comprehend what he read exactly to feel the full impact of it.
The info in those books has to be spoonfed as it's too heavy for such a young boy.
Harry couldn't really say or do anything in response, being on the crapper and all, so settled for scowling.
And Harry, don't be mad at me or Al. It's just that those books have many character deaths and things like that, you will learn about them, just not all of them right of the bat.
'A bit late for that…'
Moving on happier notes, how would you like a fedora?
*sends a red hellsing fedora*
Harry's vision went black as a hat popped into Harry's head, covering his eyes. He quickly adjusted the position so he could see properly.
I was thinking, how much time you have left before Hogwarts begins?
A few hours by my estimations.
If I don't Wipe anything…you never know…
You could travel around a while before going there. Check some magical places of interest, find allies, get some more magical pets; you know, live a little.
Harry made a mental note to do that at the end of the year, screw what everyon else said, he read the books, there was no way he was going back to the Dursley household after knowing all he did.
Heads up!
*sends firebolt prototype broom*
A broom handle materialised in over Harry's head, smacking him in the face.
Here, have some fun, maybe take Hedwig with you.
Remember to return an hour before nightfall yong man
Harry, missing the last bit, fought back the urge to cry out in pain, barely succeeding; the last thing he wanted was to broadcast to those now on the train where he was, regardless of how early it as he didn't want to take that chance.
And this newly acquired mind reading skill which he didn't know how to use yet…
Flushing his unmentionables down the pipes, Harry returned to his compartment with broom in hand and hat on his head, thankfully encountering few people. A quick glance at his watch (one of his various acquired objects from the stores of Diagon Alley) told him it wasn't too much longer before the student rush would begin appearing. Which had him thinking of who he could befriend of all the 1st years.
'If My Books have told me anything, it's who'd be a good friend…for the most part…' his mind going over the people he befriended in canon, surprisingly the standout being Luna.
'Despite being an absolute asshole for doing unspeakable things to Harry, he thought he could really enjoy seeing Luna as a very good friend.' He thought as he returned to his compartment.
Opening the door he sighed with relief seeing his things undisturbed and sat down, careful to put his newly acquired broom away, First Years weren't allowed their own brooms after all.
Harry retrieved a pad and pen and scribbled a quick note and stuck it to his sleeve, before taking out his MIB pen and flashing away the last hour and 15 minutes from his memory.
Harry shook his head to attempt to clear the fogginess his head was feeling when he saw the note stuck to his sleeve.
Had a really bad review, had to Flash it away with the M Pen.
1 hour 15 minutes.
Slightly curious about what that was, but trusting himself that he knew what was for his own good (his life at the Dursley's wasn't a total loss) Harry burned the note, taking note of the halves of leftover cake and fondue.
Shrugging Harry ate some more, he didn't really have much else to do.
'What is that smell?' Harry wondered as he crunched a strawberry in his mouth.
Harry's ear twitched.
randomplotbunny
Hey Harry! I'm so glad you liked the gifts, though now I'm jealous. That M Reader sounds amazing and I want one of my own!
Harry unconsciously retrieved the M Reader with his magic.
Oh, and a thought: Karma will get you if you copy/steal all the books from a store, but what about from a library or someone's personal collection? Wouldn't that be, technically, borrowing? And since the M Reader only copies information you can even copy the cursed books in the Restricted Section and read them without being screamed at or losing a limb.
A mischevious glint sparked in his eyes.
Oh bugger…RPB what have you just done?!
And so I'm not falling behind in the awesome gift department have another M-tech item! *RDSs a mini MP3 player with a infinite memory, already loaded with all of Al's favorite albums and singles, the full collected works of the Beatles, Dethklok and Weird Al Yankovic(all my favs cause I'm weird like that), an open download feature so any reviewer can load their own favorites just by saying they want to and allowing Harry to download songs he wants just by thinking of them.* Hope this helps pass those miserable hours in History of Magic!
Harry brought down his trunk, opened it, and retrieved the RDS to see a small device with ear plugs, the mischievous glint in his eye dimming as Harry began to fiddle with his new gift.
Hold it! Put the RDS away and put your trunk back up top first before you... lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it you better never let it go… oh wow, ok that nearly got away from me.
"What the hell was that?" asked Harry as he put his things away.
I nearly broke out into song… listen to Lose Yourself, if you can find it, not that you don't have the time if you don't care being rude…
So Harry, now unobstructed began fiddling with his music player (thusly dubbed M-Pod).
Ear Twitch
Harry was a little confused, and a lot alarmed, as a very fine misty powder coated him from head to toe, sinking into his body through his clothes.
ReviewReader
*Quickly sprikles Harry with Fairy Dust* There! Now you are protected from direct physical manipulation by reviewers. Now no one but Al can touch you, change you or do anything directly to your body or mind without your permission. Things were getting REALLY out of hand there.
Harry sat there, still, unmoving as he processed the latest happening.
'This means no more pokes, hugs, kisses…nothing unless I want them! YES!'
Aww shoot, there goes, what, 2/6 of all the fun…what a can of worms this'll open, so many people will complain they can't torture *ahem* play with you anymore…
But don't get too complacent now squirt, if readers really want something enough I might just give it to them.
Harry, in the midst of a small happy dance, froze.
"You wouldn't…" Even with his M Pen things could get nasty.
If the price is right who knows what could happen… go back to fiddling with your M Pod, you don't have all that much time left till your *snicker* peace and tranquillity will be disrupted.
Agreeing with this sentiment Harry returned to his M Pod.
His ear twitched again.
'Will I ever get to figure out how to use this thing?'
Misshelpfullness
I have four books for you Harry, you're going to love them! -downloads books directly to M Reader- They are 'Mind Magics Made EZ', 'Wandless Magic for Dummies', 'Manipulating People for Fun and Profit' and '101 Spells, Charms and Potions for the Spy in You'. I'd start with the spy book if I were you, there's a charm in there that you put on yourself and it lets you know when someone is speaking a lie to you.
Reluctantly Harry pocketed his M-Pod, he could figure that device out later, there was an idiots guide to magic he had to read, not to mention that lie detection one would save him dealing with a lot of people trying to sell him crap.
So engrossed in the Wandless Magic for Dummies book, the ear twitch he felt was ignored; so when he heard the iconic hissing of a snake next to his ear he nearly freaked out when a snake materialized around his neck.
SnakesRUs
I have a delivery for Harry Potter!
#Places a large tank with all assorted snake paraphernalia and a large bag of frozen mice(they won't melt thanks to magic) in Harry's trunk and an adolescent Black Mamba around Harry's shoulders.#
This is Havelock(he named himself) and he loves to read(yes he can read, though his writing needs some work. I suggest using crayons), his favorite book series of all time is the Discworld novels by the late Sir Terry Pratchett. Now go forth and be friends!
I've read a bit of that book series, very interesting stuff.
"Never mind the books! There's a snake around my neck!" Harry nar cried out.
"Oi! My name is Havelock, I'll have you know and I- OOOOOOH is that a book? Whatchya reading?" Havelock asked. Stunned at the snake speaking to him Harry answered in a daze.
"It's not a book, it's a device with a book loaded onto it, and it's about Wandless Magic for Dummies." Harry answered.
"Oh I see… are you dummy then?" Havelock asked curiously. Harry's face flushed.
"No, that's just what the title's called, it means wandless magic made easier to understand. And my name's Harry by the way. Feel free to read along if you want." Harry offered, trying his best to calm his racing heart to there being a bloody black snake coiled around his neck.
"Don't mind if I do." Havelock replied happily, his tongue flickering out as the snakes head positioned itself to better se he screen.
Que ear twitch
DumblesShouldDie
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Havelock yelled as the name appeared in front of him.
"It's a review, this is a fanfiction story and this is the feedback." Harry answered.
"Ok, but what is a fanfiction story?" Havelock asked, leaving Harry to give a brief overview of the goings on.
"OOOOOOOOOH… cool."
Use the Memory Eraser on Dumbledore the first chance you get. Wipe out his memory of the last 80 years and have him hauled to the Janus Thickey Ward.
"Ha, like that'd go over well. We need his wrinkly hide to fight against Tommy Boy." Harry said with a sigh.
But what did Dumbledore really do, besides head a vigilante group that was subpar at best… if you did Flash him so many different things could happen, when the wanker rezzes himself to full body form, if events should unfold like canon-
"They won't, I'm not going to play the same role as canon Harry did, no way in hell." Harry said, resolute.
"Uh Harry…who are you talking to?" Havelock asked, majorly confused.
"Oh I'm talkin to Al the Author of the story, the self dubbed God of this fanfic. Hang on, you can't hear Al speak can you?" Havelock turned his head side to side, no. "Well crap, now I'm going to look even crazier than I do now."
"How so?" Havelock asked.
"How to put this… almost everyone where I'm going to school thinks talking to snakes is eeeeeeeeeevil and is painted as a Dark Art." Harry answered, a wee bit hesitant due to Havelock's 'newnesss' to everything around him.
"Well fuck em." Was Havelock's blunt answer making Harry choke on his spit, the black mamba whacking Harry on the back with his tail to try and help.
Well Well, this snakes got quite the forked tongue… and obviously he can't hear me, he's a character in the story, as in part of it, only you can break the 4th Wall.
"Great… even more watching my mouth around people…" Harry grumbled going back to reading. After a few moments of further reading Harry decided to trial some of what the reviewer's gift book said.
Harry's puke puddle vanished under his gaze.
"Sweet!" he cheered before feeling yet another ear twitch.
StoryLover
I've read the reviews so far and, while slightly horrified and slightly amused, I have just one thing to say: randomplotbunny will not outdo me!
OOOH BOY! WE HAVE OURSELVES A PISSING CONTEST BETWEEN REVIEWERS FOLKS!
Who will give the better gift?
Gives Harry an M-tech 10in Tablet in a lovely green case that instantly streams every movie and TV show ever made just by looking it up, including the Harry Potter movies. It also plays games and has a Reviewer Recommendation App so all media suggested by Reviewers for Harry to watch will instantly be pulled up and just one click away... also a parental control so Al can block some of the Adult things we sickos are likely to recommend.
Take that randomplotbunny!
Annoyingly for Harry, he had to retrieve the RDS from his trunk again to collect his gift.
"Holy cow…" Harry gaped.
Someone going Hindu?
"Shut up Al… this is…"
Yes yes, I know it's cool and all that jazz but remember this, use these items around others at your own risk, they may be taken from you if found on your person, as they are unknown to everyone else.
"Yeah yeah I know that already…now I have something else to learn how to use… huh, this must be what Dudley feels like on his birthday when he gets presents from the Horse and Whale… thanks StoryLover…" Harry was overcome with feelings he had only felt a few times when he got gifts from readers.
Be mindful of the time Grasshopper, with these gifts you can't learn how to use it all, choose what will benefit you the most.
This seemed to break Harry out of his daze.
"Right…well music might be fun and will help me with History, if I can keep Hermione from tattling on me, learning the M-Watcher comes second to finishing my wandless books." Decided Harry taking the tablet in hand and placing it carefully into his trunk.
"What was that?" Havelock enquired, watching Harry put his new device away. Harry took a moment to describe the M-Watcher to the reptile, whom was equally as impressed as Harry had been.
"Very impressive, I may ask to use it in the future." Havelock replied, returning his attention to the M-Reader.
About to do the same Harry felt his ear twitch again. How did that start to happen anyway?
TheSuperMario
Hm, would it be evil to give away to Harry the whole materia collection of final fantasy 7 and to also give him a glimpse of what is the horrid "dark side" of deviant art that is looming everywhere no matter what you search for. But back to materia, it could also give a bigger branch of wandless magic and when you see fit author, you can up the level or provide the almighty materia that grants every spell from its color class. Oh and materia can only be used for Al and Harry.
"Wow… I don't even know what half of that stuff is but wow." Gaped Harry.
You and me both, from what I understand of it all, you're a bloody powerhouse with this stuff, jeez at this rate I'll end up writing that you kill the Big Bad no problem and your biggest issue after that will be chasing tail…
"Chasing tai- Oh Al! Gross!" Harry gagged.
HA! You say that now, wait a year and a bit.
"Still, having all this will mean I have to learn how to use it, and I only know the barest of this Final Fantasy XII stuff."
Same here Grasshopper, though from the brief glances at it that did a while back, it shouldn't be too hard. Of course this means dividing your time even more between what you want to learn to use.
Harry deflated at that realization, where was he going to find the time to do all this, on top of the school work to boot.
Might be worth asking TheSuperMario if these things are single use items that vanish once you use them and their information is transferred to you.
But alas there is always more.
Harry was about to reply when his ear twitched and a massive anvil dropped from thin air out of nowhere missing Harry by the barest millimetre, crashing into the floor of the train and going right through to the tracks leaving a huge hole in its wake.
"What the hell?!" Harry yelped, Havelock hissing in equal surprise.
Verteller
*Drops a massive anvil, from above, a millimeter in front of Harry, creating a large hole in the ground* AH HA HA HAA! Who said I was sorry for showing that HaRoFoy threesome? I am neither the enemy nor your friend.
"Wow, what a tool." Harry said instantly, before his eyes gazed down to the damage to the train the anvil had caused. "Oh shit!"
Oh don't be so dramatic. Had I known that woulda happened I'd have changed the scene, as it is there's nothing for it but to do this…don't get used to it.
*Wipe*
Harry looked around, it was the exact same compartment as before, everything sans the anvil hole and the anvil.
Reset to just before the lump of metal nearly turned you into a pancake and totalled the train. You're welcome.
"Yeah, thanks Al…but why did you do that?" Harry asked curiously.
Eh, it was a scenario I didn't really know how to use. I mean ho can you use 'hole in the Hogwarts Express' as a part of a story? It'd just lead to questions you couldn't answer and that's get us nowhere so I hit the delete key.
Moving on from the near death experience from Verteller…
"Yeah…moving on…" Harry murmured, groaning when he felt his ear twitch again.
Hey, Harry, just figured I'd take a moment to point out:
In canon, wizards NEVER fight against muggles.
While a shield charm may be capable of repelling small arms, or even large caliber bullets, you have to KNOW you're being attacked in order to defend yourself.
Here, these are on me. *Sends a sealed package with 2 berettas with attached silencers, along with a large amount of ammunition in a magically expanded and lightened box*
I recommend you learn the Fidelius. Make the secret "Harry Potter is packing heat".
Remember, these are EMERGENCY ONLY weapons.
I also recommend you actually learn how to use them.
Of course, you're in britain, so these are super illegal. So be EXTRA careful in applying them and practicing them.
Oh, and one more suggestion:Check out martial arts. I had a idea where they could actually be magic that muggles learned how to use since it's more *physical*.
"Even more to learn?! What the hell?" Harry griped as he retrieved the two very deadly guns from the RDS and giving them a once over before relocating them in his trunk. Heaps of things were going in there today…
So it's a mix up, depending on weather you take to learning some things like a fish to water, you may have to consider shelving some of this stuff, plan accordingly based on the events you know to be coming up from canon.
As to there being more to learn...your going to a boarding school Grasshopper...
If I can make yet another suggestion to crowd your head even more with, choose 2 or three to learn, canon you was decent-ish so use that as a template of what to be better at.
"Yeah…sure…" Harry said, slowly putting his deadly weapons in his trunk of growing number of illegal goods. "I'll definitely have to learn the Fidelius if I don't want to meet the mouth of a dementor." Harry grimaced at the thought as he re-levitated his trunk back to its wrack.
Doing so landed Harry with direct line of sight out the window to the growing number of families amassing on platform 9 ¾.
"It's getting closer to show time…" murmured Harry as he returned to his seat.
To endure another ear twitch.
Hello Harry!
So, today's the day, huh? The beginning of many adventures, and regrets about procrastinating on homework. Oh the joy! Last night I spent over 2 hours making notes and studying then looking at my friend's notes then studying some more, and I got done at 8:40pm. That test was today and it was still hard!
So look forward to stuff like that!
'The hell am I supposed to look forward to that? I'm not canon Hermione, and really neither will the Hermione that I'll meet soon…huh…' Thought Harry.
And yes! SCREW PARCHMENT AND QUILLS! But you'll still need those because the teachers will be like "you have a 3 foot essay due" or "2 scrolls" or I dunno stuff like that. Oh! Here's a binder to help organize! *gives 1.5 inch D-ring binder* Paper and tabs for organizing! *multi-colored tabs and college ruled paper* and a set of black, red, and rainbow pens! *three pen packs of different colors* there! I hope I'm not turning you into Hermione or anything... Hope this is useful!
"Oh it'll be useful alright, not to mention kick an anthill when I start acting like a loon."
Mmk Al, I get the point now. And of course it's the time I take a break from fanfiction when every updates though! And to top it off, I should be sleeping because I'm sick and my birthday is Saturday and I don't wanna be sick on my birthday and- -*takes deep breath* Okay, I'm done ranting. WAIT! Harry, a map of hogwarts so you don't get lost. *waves* bye!
-CS15
Even though Harry knew about the Marauders Map, the map given to him was brilliant.
"No getting lost the first day of lessons for me." He declared with a grin. His expression dimmed as he saw a shadow run passed his compartment door, things were going to get complex soon. "Not to mention that this is a school…at least I know what to study for this time."
Getting back to comfortable Harry felt his ear go off again.
'When will this end?!'
MrPosbi
Oh Harry,you don't want pictures like that?
But I have so many more :(
Well,here is something which may be better for you.
*gives Harry a picture book,a baby-toothbrush and a glass of mashed carrots* ...
Wow… way to patronize the protagonist.
Right,you're a big boy now...
*gives Harry a bottle of vodka,a pack of joints and a few condoms*
That's what big boys want,right?
Nope, you're not old enough for that, I'm taking that for myself!
Wait a moment...
We can send things,which we don't have...
Can we send people?Or animals?
Or...
*completely mad cackling*
*sends in a bunch of Chrysalids,Sectoids,Nazguls,White Walkers and Uleb*
gl&hf
Annoyed that he had to keep taking it out and put it back, Harry retrieved the RDS once again to see a dozen 10centimetre figures moving around inside the container, 4 of each type aimlessly roaming around inside the RDS confines.
"Somehow I expected them all to be bigger…" he said as he watched these creatures, whom he knew somehow were supposed to be much bigger and more menacing but at present were like mini pets, run around the inside of the RDS.
"What's that I smell?" quicker than Harry could react, Havelock struck, swallowing all 5 creatures whole. "Hmm, tasty."
'Well shit, Posbi's probably not going to be happy about this…' Harry thought moodily.
About to put the RDS back Harry felt an ET and paused.
Hey, It's me again, wow. It takes a lot more guts for me to review again then I thought it would.
That may be, but this story just wouldn't be the same without each and every review, wouldn't you agree Harry?
Harry muttered a heap in unintelligible jargon.
I'll take that as a yes!
Yay! We can give Harry things! Ima give him this. *Puts five plushies in the box four of the marauder's animal forms and a dragon* I know I know I suck, but plushies are awesome!
Withdrawing a stag, grim, werewolf and rat plush toys Harry quickly pocketed the rodent before setting the other three to the side, he had an idea for the rat. He didn't have a childhood really, he as going to make the most of everything that was given to him and relish it.
Al, why do you keep letting people terrorize poor Harry!? *Pokes Al* can I
No, not anymore you can't. No one can do anything to him without his consent, try it if you want but you will not succeed any longer because of that fairy dust from ReviewReader. Maybe that stuff has a shelf life though that works for a limited time, guess we'll wait and see won't we?
That's not to say that you can't do that to me though, ouch, why did you poke me THERE of all places!?
OH NO I HIT ENTER BEFORE I WAS DONE *Flails arms*
*Wimpers* I guess I'll just stop reviewing then cuz m so bad at it ;-;
Well I can't really say much to that, except Harry might get sad that readers won't give him stuff.
"Hey, don't make this about me, I'm not all that fussed one way or the other if people comment on your work, I just enjoy the spoils of it all." Harry shot back, eyeing the gathering crowd outside the train cautiously, feeling another ET.
oh, I just realized I never finshed that sentence... *Snickers* Since you're always so mean to Harry, Ima leave it unfinished Al~
I am not!
"You are too."
Am not!
"ARE TOO."
AM NOT!
"ARE TOO!"
Btw. Small question, if someone reads Harry's mind would they be able to 'hear' you too Al?
-Fluffy Shadow Out!
*cricket noise*
Good question, and no, only Harry can because he broke the Wall, anyone poking around in his head will just get a headache, won't be fun for Dumbles or Snapey huh Harry?
"No way." Harry felt an ET. "God damn it…"
No, no I won't damn it, I like it this way; you'll just have to grow to like it.
"You know that's not what I meant…" Harry muttered.
Hellsleep
Hi I am French so sorry if my English is bad
Like someone else you'll meet in a few years, Hiyo!
I found this fanfiction while I searched for vinaigrette history and I must confess that it is one of the best fanfiction I have ever read,
"Don't. Please stop. You'll stroke his ego." Harry deadpanned.
And my immortal is horrible do not smooth it is dangerous for your health (physical and mental), brief congratulations and good continuation,)
Ps: I leave the choice to the author the choice that harry receive a cookie or ... er ... a ... dance ... migratory ... and ... circumcised ... of ... vernon ... Yes ! A migratory and circumcised dance of vernon dursley! Mouahaha. it does not make sense ? never mind
Yes, well I appreciate it in the spirit it was given.
"I'd have taken the cookie…" Harry grumbled, turning to finish the rest of his cake.
Pps: "gives a goat with lipstick to harry"
"Whaaaaa?" Harry sputtered with his mouth full of cake.
Maybe you could give it to Aberforth…
Harry snorted.
"Yeah, that'd go down so well…"
Strike of the ET!
"Oh for fuc-"
Hold your tongue laddie, that's not language for you to be using!
"Sure, tell that to Dudley…" Griped Harry as he watched masses of students board the Hogwarts Express.
Wow we are horrible people, I swear Harry's probably gonna go all Jashin on most of the HP universe at this rate... That would actually be kinda funny now that I think about it...
"That has possibilities…" Harry said with a gimlet eye.
Wait we can give Harry stuff? hm... can't beat them might as well join them.
*Hands harry an Akatsuki cloak, and a box... with nothing inside... except for a miniature Padfoot, before shrugging and throwing in a book on how to make your eyes glow*
"Heh, now wouldn't it just scare the pants off Ron if he opened the door when I'm wearing this?" Harry couldn't help but chuckle at the thought as he retrieved the red cloud black cloak from the RDS before returning it to his trunk again.
Now now Harry, they're only children…
AN: So much time passed yet so little advancement, I know I'm going to get flack for the long looong gap.
Very sorry, family stuff got in the way.
Next chapter will have more than just Harry and Al, which will complicate things, mapping conversations is HARD sometimes.
That includes the sorting, obviously.
I'll try not to leave it so late next time.
This is your chance to be part of the story, review to take part, though take note you have to be very specific on some points, like the sizes of things you want to send, there are size limits, can't just magic a house out of thin air...oh wait never mind ..
