Some Of My Best Friends Are Balrogs

Gondolin, FA 500

With the Ring on his hand, he felt as powerful as a Vala. He toyed with the idea of recruiting some Maiar of his own. When he served Melkor, his status was high. Melkor assigned three other Maiar to him to be his servants, Thuringwethil, Draugluin, and Carcharoth. He would like to have Maiar servants now.

He'd led a group of Balrogs at Gondolin. Maybe some of them survived the First Age and would be willing to follow him again.

Then he remembered how, after a hard day training, he bought them dinner and a few rounds. Generally Balrogs were shy around him, maybe even a little bit afraid, but after coming off-duty and lifting a few pints, they started to relax.

Sitting down to a meal with half a dozen Balrogs is an experience. He considered himself down to earth about most things, and was accepting of peasant ways, but even he had his limits.

There they were, sitting around the table, belching and farting. Soon, one of them was demonstrating armpit noises, another blew his nose on the tablecloth, and a third started telling knock-knock jokes.

He pushed his plate aside, untouched.

"Chief, what's wrong? Why are you covering your face with your hands?"

Maybe he'd pass on the Balrogs for now.