I know it's been a long time, it's just been stressful lately. I've done this story as an apology because so many people requested it.
Unpleasant or Extraordinary Drabbles
Alive
By Wildfire
Ianto sat awkwardly on the couch, his eyes impossibly large, jaw firmly set. Gwen sat across from him; her eyes glued to his, unmoving. Martha sat to his right, her eyes also locked on him, giving him the same look that Mickey was giving him to the left. No one was talking, no one was moving.
Ianto cautiously wetted his lips and slowly looked to each person in turn. "I'm alive."
"Yes," Martha said slowly, her face otherwise static.
"And I'm…. pregnant?" he asked, voice oddly calm.
"Yes…," Martha said again, this time her face showing sympathy, as her own rounded belly seemed to be popping out at him.
Ianto swallowed hard and looked away for a moment. He took a deep breath then looked back at her. "I'm a man," he finally declared.
"Yes." Martha confirmed his unasked question.
"I'm human," he added in.
"Yes," Martha said again with a little nod of her head.
"Human men do not get pregnant," he concluded in a hurried voice, as if trying to reason his way out of her diagnosis.
"Not usually no," she agreed.
"Not usually?" Ianto's retort was dripping with angry sarcasm. " Try not ever! Human men do not carry babies inside them! It's not possible! It's not allowed! It's against human biology!"
"Ianto, I've checked and rechecked a hundred times. I did a full body blue print on you. You are pregnant," Martha said slowly.
Ianto deflated, leaning back against the couch, whilst everyone else seemed to lean in a little. He cracked one eye open fixing them with a fierce glare, hoping to get them to back off, but they didn't move. Bloody Torchwood – when you're fighting killer aliens all day long, your basic glare become completely ineffective.
"And Jack's gone?" Ianto finally asked.
"Yes, he left… after the 456." Gwen answered that question.
"So... would Jack be the bloke that… you know… knocked him up?" Mickey asked staring at Ianto's still flat belly.
Ianto groaned loudly at those words. "I'm a freak."
"Of course Jack's the father," Gwen snapped. "Who else would be able to knock up a bloke and bring him back to life?" She looked to Ianto, patting his knee. "You're not a freak love, you're just a Torchwood employee."
"Gee that makes me feel much better. Thanks Gwen," Ianto deadpanned. He sat back up quickly and everyone leaned away again. "How? How is any of this possible?"
For one blessed moment everyone's eyes shifted across to Martha instead of being trained on him. Martha shrugged. "Don't ask me, I didn't dabble with Jack."
All eyes swung back to Ianto. "Yes, well I thought my dabbling was safe from this particular outcome as I lack the proper equipment for it," Ianto countered hotly.
"Jack always did joke about being pregnant. Maybe it wasn't such a joke, maybe where he comes from men get pregnant and… that means he has the right… juice to make others pregnant?" Gwen said awkwardly.
"His juice did not seem different from any one else's juice." Ianto glared at her, feeling slightly satisfied as she colored a deep red.
"How will it come out?" Mickey asked. "I mean I know he'll probably have a C-section, but if it were natural… how would it come out?"
"I'd throw it up," Ianto said, his face totally serious.
Mickey pulled a face and finally looked away to stop himself staring at Ianto's belly.
Gwen and Martha both snickered a little at that.
Ianto took a deep breath. "So just to recap, I've been dead for a year, I'm alive now. I'm a man, a human man… and I'm pregnant."
"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Gwen said giving his knee another sympathetic pat.
Ianto took a deep breath. "Do we have a way to get a hold of Jack?"
"No, he just left. I don't think he ever plans on coming back," Gwen said softly.
"So to top it all off, I'm also a single parent," Ianto said bitterly and stood up abruptly going to grab Mickey's coat. He didn't have one of his own right now, and Mickey had been nice enough to loan him some clothes so he wasn't still in his 'dead' outfit. There was something creepy about wearing clothing you used to be dead in.
"Oi, where are you going?" Gwen asked standing up as well.
"Out," he snapped, heading for the door.
"But you're dead!" Gwen argued.
"So bring me back to life!" he said stomping out of the Hub and into the cool air of the Bay. He walked towards the pier and leant against the railing, taking in large gulps of air to try and calm himself. He knew he couldn't stay outside the Hub for too long or one of them would be sure to come out and try to talk to him again.
He started walking. Just walking. He didn't have a particular destination in mind he just wanted to walk, to blindly put one foot in front of the other. He eventually found himself on a train, anything to get him further away from things that just didn't make sense. He got off the train and kept walking. He was surprised when he found himself in front of his sister's house. He wasn't sure why he was here. He hadn't meant to come here.
He took a few hurried steps backwards and finally settled on a park bench that was across the street from Rhiannon's house; far enough away that he could still see the house without worrying that they'd see him and immediately recognize him. He'd have to leave quickly if they did come out though.
"Uncle Ianto!" Mica squealed from behind him and quickly came around to clamber onto his lap.
Ianto's eyes grew huge as he stared at her; she'd grown so much! He was surprised she even recognized him. He quickly looked behind him to the park where he could now see David playing with Rhiannon not that far off. It wouldn't be long until she realized her daughter wasn't there anymore. He kicked himself for not checking the park first.
"Where have you been? Mummy said you were dead and you wouldn't visit anymore. But I knew you'd have to come see me. Are you back for good now?" She reached up, playing with his shirt.
"How old are you Mica?" he asked finally finding his voice.
"Five." She smiled. "Don't you know that? Mummy said you've been watching over us from above. Can you fly now?"
Ianto smiled. "No, I can't fly. Did you miss me?" He combed his fingers through her hair.
"Yeah! Tad doesn't give us extra money like you did! I've been really poor!"
Ianto barked something that was half laugh, half sob, as he pulled her closer and hugged her tightly.
"Are you sad Uncle Ianto?" she asked, her voice muffled by his shirt, which she was currently being crushed into.
"No, sweetheart, I'm happy. I just missed you. I didn't realize how much until I saw you." he explained loosening his hold.
"That's silly. You should always know how much you miss someone," Mica scolded in a stern voice.
Ianto laughed. "Well sometimes you don't realize how badly you missed them until you see them."
Mica thought about that and nodded giving him another hug. "I missed you a lot too," she declared, "Even if you don't give me extra money."
Ianto smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"MICA!" The shout was the only warning Ianto got before his head was smacked from behind by a large purse. He stumbled off the bench, Mica quickly scrambling away as the purse came down on Ianto's head again. "Don't touch my daughter you slimy paedophile!" Rhiannon whacked him again. "Think you can just go around putting innocent little girls on your lap! Does it make you feel powerful?" Another whack descended on Ianto's head.
"Mummy stop! It's Uncle Ianto!" Mica pulled at her mother's arm.
The hitting immediately stopped as Rhiannon kneeled down to her daughter's level. "No Mica, I told you, Uncle Ianto is in heaven now. He can't come down and see us anymore."
Ianto carefully peeked up from his hunched position; Rhiannon's attention was solely on her daughter. He could probably slip away and no one would be the wiser.
"No mummy, he came back, he missed me. He told me so."
"Oh sweetheart, no. Your Uncle Ianto does miss you, but this piece of shit—" She pointed to Ianto stopping mid-sentence when she saw his wary face. Her purse fell to the ground forgotten and she stood up.
"Rhi, I can explain. Well… sort of, listen—"
He never finished that particular sentence as he found himself being punched squarely in the jaw. "What are you?" shouted Rhi. "You one of those creepy alien things? Why do you want my daughter? Mica get me my purse! Call Gwen."
Ianto groaned rubbing his jaw. "You know Rhi, on the off chance I am who I look like you could at least pull your punch." He slowly stood up, wiping his bloody lip with the back of his hand.
"Don't you talk to me!" She quickly grabbed the phone from her daughter, shouting into it. "Gwen! I told you to keep this freaky crap away from me and mine! This thing is here pretending to be my little brother—" She cut off sharply, her eyes snapping to Ianto, the phone dropping from her ear and landing in the grass.
Ianto slowly took a step toward his sister who was looking paler by the second. He managed to grab her just as her eyes rolled up into her head.
Getting his sister inside the house was nearly impossible, firstly there was Mica crying in anxious squeals that her mummy was hurt. Then there was the actually lifting of his none too light sister. And just when he thought he might make it he was kicked repeatedly in the shins by an angry little boy shouting at him to put his mam down. Trying to calm David proved impossible, as he was old enough to understand death and knew people didn't just come back to life. He also remembered the 456 all too well and knew aliens liked to take people. He refused to back down.
Finally Ianto had to set his sister back down and manhandle David into the flat securing him in the understairs cupboard using a chair to keep the door shut. He felt bad for doing it, and it brought back too many memories of his own childhood punishments, but he just couldn't have the boy screaming bloody murder in the middle of the yard while trying to throw rocks at him.
"Uncle Ianto, what are you doing?" Mica asked trailing behind him as he struggled to manhandle his sister into the house.
"Just trying to make your mam comfortable," he grunted out as he half dragged his sister through the front door. "Would you go get me a glass of cold water?"
He supposed he could have dumped water on her outside, but then again, he didn't want a screaming match in the middle of the neighborhood. He was sure the cops had already been called and he'd have to deal with them soon enough. He was just glad that none of the neighbors had come investigating with bats. Rhiannon's neighbors had always been a close knit group.
He laid Rhiannon gently down on the kitchen floor figuring if he was going to make a big mess by dumping water over her this would be the best place. It was a given that he'd be the one to have to clean it up.
Mica carefully carried over a glass brimming with water. "If you're thirsty we have juice."
Ianto smiled at her. "Thank you, but I'm alright." Ignoring David's yelling from the closet he dumped the water onto his sister's upturned face.
Rhiannon groaned, her eyes fluttering open, looking utterly confused for a moment before she shot upright into a sitting position.
Ianto jumped back, afraid to be hit again. She looked seriously pissed.
"Rhi?" he said tentatively.
She stood up, brushing drops of water from her clothes. "You dirty bloody bastard! You better not be dead!"
Ianto's face cracked in a genuine grin of pleasure. "I'm not."
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